Seven Is My Unlucky Number
by GoogelehGoo
Summary: Saix joins the Organization with a puzzling past, all of which revolve around his unlucky number 7. He's deemed Xemnas' favorite person even though he can't do squat. Humor! XemSai pairing!
1. Chapter 1

Seven Is My Unlucky Number

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do!

Notes: I am insane. I love torturing people. Saïx is one of my favorite victims for such things.

Another Note: May cause your eyes to bleed. And that's just a happy and nice warning!

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_I don't exactly know how to explain what happened to my body, let alone my soul. One day I had disappeared from existence. Normal? I don't think so. It happened, though, and I'm not exactly sure how I dealt with that. But then again all I ever did was float around in nothingness and say things like 'What's my name, who am I, and why am I here?' In fact, I think those were the only three things that continued to come to my mind because I had forgotten what I had forgotten and I couldn't remember what it was that was forgotten._

_Confused yet? I am. It's something that I learned later on in my after life…if you could call it that…_

_But first I have to explain how I even became what I am now, if I'm even existing. They say I'm not, but then again…these people have always been ones to lie._

_Anyway, back to explaining how I came to exist. First, though, I have to explain a little background about myself. People have always told me that 7 is a lucky number. For me that is a giant lie. On my 7th birthday I had the worst experience in my life that any 7-year-old could experience. I was told to go outside and bring in my favorite dog, Wolf, and to take a light with me. What 7-year-old ever listens to their parents, though? Exactly. So instead I went out without the light to fetch my pooch._

_That day will forever be burned in my mind._

_It was a full moon out so I decided the light was clearly unnecessary in my situation. Seriously, who needs a light when the place is glowing? Wolf was out on his leash. He was a border collie with fluffy fur and was a great companion. Had him ever since I was born, in fact. Well, I was stupid and forgot to grab onto his collar before unleashing him, so off he went into the forest barking like a beast._

_That forest scares the hell out of me._

_My dog, though, so I have to get him. Besides, I didn't want mom or dad knowing that I was being stupid and not only forgot to get a light but had also lost my dog. Off I went into that forest and was soon shrouded in darkness. If only I was smart enough to know that trees block off the moon's shine. Whatever, right? Nothing to get scared over._

_Or so I thought._

_I was calling Wolf's name when I heard the nastiest blood curdling whine from that dog. My skin crawled, my muscles tensed, and I was about to piss myself. The crying and whining continued until I heard a different noise. Howling. I scrambled to find Wolf as I continued to call out his name when I saw the worst thing in my life._

_Are you ready for this?_

_I hope so._

_There was my poor dog, body ripped open with blood all over the forest floor. It was really hard to see, but I knew that it wasn't mud that covered Wolf's white fur. And then I saw the gruesome creature that had killed my dog. A beast so beastly that…I'm not even sure how to describe it. Half human, half dog…something like that. In fact, it scared me so much I refuse to this day to watch X-Men because I hear there are creatures a lot like it in the movie._

_Aside from that, this beast snarled as soon as it saw me. And being the scared 7-year-old that I was…I screamed for my life and ran for it._

_In fact I ran inside the house and jumped in bed and refused to come out until the next day. Oh, but that wasn't all. Dad demanded that I explain where Wolf was at. So how was I supposed to even tell him that a beast devoured him? I couldn't. I just pointed to the forest, blubbered like a baby, and finally headed out with him to find the dog. That corpse will forever stay in my memories. After I had left that beast thing had ripped apart my dog so much it was hardly a dog anymore. Just fur and mashed guts. Wolf's head, though, was completely fine. I remember seeing its blank eyes gleaming at me. Well…it seemed they were doing such, but then again I was scared as hell so my mind was probably playing tricks on me. And I remember the words that my dad said to me when he saw that sight._

"_Kid, this is why you can't have nice things."_

_Yes. That's exactly what he said. He told me to go inside and help my mom fold clothes while he took care of Wolf. And as soon as mom saw me she only had one thing to say to me._

"_Why are you crying? Did you break something? If not then wipe those tears and put these towels away."_

_I cried for 7 days after that incident. In fact, each week that passed I would stare out at that ugly forest and wonder if that creature was still out there waiting for me. Waiting to devour human flesh instead of my poor dog, Wolf._

_I know this must sound really idiotic, but there's a lot more to the number 7 than just the fact that it ruined my birthday. In school I was the 7th to last person in the alphabet. Not much of a big deal, right? Wrong. I always got bummed out of a good locker and had to share with some freak that couldn't even count up to ten._

_I also hated Valentine's Day. We always had to create paper bags with decorations on them and our name in glitter glue. The teacher would call one person up at a time to drop candy into each bag, but everyone didn't even know how to count, let alone know how to drop one candy in instead of two. So they'd go down the line and drop one in, giggle, go to the next and drop one in…and then they'd find their best friend's bag, so they'd drop in two causing their entire count to get off. As soon as they reached near the end of the line they'd realize their mistake and they'd improvise. The teacher wouldn't notice that they had accidentally missed a bag. Oh, but they had to be strategic about it. Missing the end bag would cause havoc. And so they always picked the 7th to last bag. How would I know this? Because I never got any Valentine's. Ever. Okay, once I got a sticker, but that was it._

_There's even more to it than that._

_The 7th table was where I sat at. I had the broken desk where leaning on it ever so slightly would cause it to combust in on itself. My chair was just as cheap because one leg was shorter than the others so I sat lop-sided the whole time. And then I'd get yelled at 7 times a day to sit straight._

_Oh, I'm not even finished._

_Every test we're given I always miss the 7th question. No matter how easy or hard it was. In fact, it could have said 'what's your favorite color?' and I would have gotten it wrong._

_I always got 7 out of 10 on every spelling test I ever took. And once I had actually gotten 8 out of 10, but I had accidentally spelt my own name wrong, so I was docked a point._

_I also remember when I got braces. It was the 7th of February. There was a giant blizzard out and I had hoped we wouldn't be able to make it, but somehow my dad managed to pull through and get me there. And then what do they do? They want to screw with my teeth. The nurse lady I had was a complete moron and didn't even know what she was doing, so instead of giving me enough shots to numb my mouth she gave me too little. All I can say is that I cried for 7 days after that._

_And I'd also like to say that I didn't have any friends…because I was the 7th person…and it made things terribly uneven. So I always sat out._

_Things got a bit better after I was 7…but then I turned 17._

_You're starting to get the picture, I can tell._

_I went to my very first theme park ever. Ever. And I will never ever again experience such a thing. Ever._

_I had gained friends, I know…pretty special, and they wanted to go on some deadly looking roller coaster that screamed terror and adventure. I couldn't really refuse, I had to suck it up and be a man. So I got in line and waited with them. And what happens? The 7th cart is the last one open…and it has my name all over it. I suck it up and get in with one of my friends thinking that my curse is just my mind playing tricks on me. I'm buckled up, harnessed in, ready for the adventure of my life. We shoot off at a rather high speed and all I could think of was 'hey, I think something's wrong'. Oh, but I don't bother to say anything at all because I'm a moron. As soon as we got to the loops, though, I finally figured out what it was. My harness was broken. I started to scream because…hey, you'd be freaked out, too. And then we went through the loops. Through? No. It got about so far before the ride started to break down. I remember hearing the ride lose its 'WHOOSH' noise as soon as we got to the top. The harness that was holding me creaked and a bolt flung to its deadly doom. We went through and I saw we had another loop to go through. And that was when I knew we weren't going to make it._

"_Oh shit." Those were my last words for that day. I distinctively remember getting so far up when the harness flung itself to the sea below. Thankfully I was wearing a seatbelt, but that didn't stop me from much. The ride went through the loop somehow and went for its next deadly location. Which was a quick snap to the right._

_I bashed my face right into the seat in front of me from the sudden force. And I didn't wake up._

_When I did wake up I was in the hospital all by myself with some ugly old nurse glaring down at me. She snarled at me about 'kids these days' and that was that. I was in the hospital for 7 days._

_One last story before I give up on the pattern here. It was senior year for me, a few days before prom. In fact, it was the 7th. My friends had called up and asked if I wanted to hang out. No. Of course not. Fuck. No._

_They convinced me otherwise._

"_We're just going to stay at one house, that's it. Nothing can go wrong." Yeah. Of course. So I went. I was sitting in the back in the spot that didn't have a seatbelt. Should have known this would only be trouble, but it wasn't like we were going far. But we passed our destination because they wanted to pick up some food before we stopped. Whatever, right? We'll be fine._

_And then we got into the car accident of my life. I remember screaming "Watch out!" But you know…that never works. Well, it did in a way. The car that was heading right at us we swerved and missed, but that didn't stop us from hitting the tree that was in the way. And of course me, being in the seat with no seatbelt, flung forward into the window and smacked right into the tree. The rest of that week I can't recollect because I was out._

_I still have the 'X' shaped scar on my face from that day._

_So the main question asked is…why do I bring this up?_

_Well…I died one day…but I don't exactly remember how it happened. I'm assuming it involved the number 7 somehow. I just remember being nothing in a place that was nothing surrounded by other nothings._

_And then one day I became something._

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'_Who am I? What am I? Where am I?'_

_I want to move but I can't. I want to look but I have no eyes. I wish to feel, but I can't remember how to feel or how to wish._

'_What have I become? What's left of me? What's wrong with me?'_

_I want to remember who I am but I don't think I can. I want to remember other people, but my memory escapes me. I want to want in general, but it's impossible to do when I've forgotten how to do just that._

'_Am I dead?'_

_Good question, now if only someone could answer it._

"I think I'll call you Saïx."

_Who was that? Where was that voice coming from?_

"You can open your eyes now."

_I have eyes? Oddly enough I could open them. But…I could have sworn a few minutes ago they were gone—_

"Yes, that's it. Can you feel yourself returning now? The darkness no longer holds you, nor does the light."

_Who the hell was this guy and why was he talking like that? Pretty tan skin…bright orange eyes. Hmm…but I've never met him in my life. Or have I? I'm pretty sure I haven't. Right?_

"Come this way, Saïx, you belong with the Organization."

_All right…whatever you say. Jeez, this castle is so huge…who could afford such a nice looking place like this? Then again…where was this place anyway?_

"Don't be shy, this way." _Yeah, I'm coming as fast as I can, all right? Not like I can walk any faster. Hell, I think I've forgotten how to walk correctly, is that pathetic? Probably._

"Here's your room. We'll talk more in the morning, I'm sure you'll be very curious when you awaken."

_Oh baby, look at this bed. Heck, I'll sleep for a week in this thing._

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_I had a dream, not that it's important or anything, but it's the first dream I've had for a very long time. It's where this guy finds me half naked outside some weird place and takes me into a giant castle and gives me a nice, comfy room to sleep in. Of course, when I woke up that morning I found out it wasn't actually a dream but a reality. Now I'm not quite sure on whether I should be freaked out by the fact that some unknown man has just taken me in or the fact that I'm wearing clothes that I would never wear in my life._

_Black. Leather. Everywhere._

_Oh freaking God headache from hell. Ahem. All right, now I feel better._

"About time you woke up, man. Come on, we don't have all day." _And who was this angry looking brick of a moron? Brick…of a moron? Great, even my insults are as stupid as my lost memory. I didn't say anything, though, just followed him to a new meeting area. There were lots of them. Okay, not lots…but six others besides myself—wait a minute. Oh no_.

"Good evening, Saïx, and welcome to the Organization. I am Xemnas, your Superior."

"I'm Xigbar."

"Xaldin."

"Vexen."

"Lexaeus."

"Zexion."

Xemnas smiled and nodded, "You're the first person to arrive that wasn't of our original six members. Congratulations. You might feel odd…well, if you could feel that is. We are all Nobodies. A type of Heartless that went much farther…we use our previous bodies from an existence that is no longer, and now we exist as things that don't actually exist. It might not make much sense right now, but—"

"I don't exist?"

They all fell silent as he spoke. Xemnas nodded a few times, "That's right."

"Oh."

"It's nothing to get worked up over, we're working to exist again through gaining our hearts back. We need more members though. At first we believed it was impossible to gain more people, but you've proved us wrong."

"How did I do that?"

"You started to remember," Xigbar replied.

"Remember what?"

"Anything."

"But…I don't…remember anything."

Zexion nodded, "Of course. You started to remember, but once that happened you forgot. Xemnas found you because you were remembering. Since you've been saved from nothingness, though, your memory went away again."

"So…if you hadn't saved me I would have remembered more?"

They fell silent again and Xemnas shook his head, "It's impossible. Your mind doesn't know what a memory is and what isn't. It probably would have weaved you lies."

"I see…" _No I don't._

"It'll make more sense later on. Right now your head is fuzzy because you've been under the darkness for so long. I can help you regain balance, though! I'm good at those things," Vexen hissed and licked his lips.

"Is there something else I should know right now?"

"Yes, we go by a numbered system of roman numerals."

"So…I'm…VII?"

"Yes. You're sitting in the 7th chair, therefore you're member number 7."

Saïx got up quickly and moved away from the chair. _Fuck no I'm not sitting in that chair. It's probably cursed! Just like everything else that's been marked 7!_

Everyone watched him jump up. Xigbar raised an eyebrow, "What's the matter?"

"This is some kind of a…trick."

Xaldin shook his head, "No. It's not."

"I don't want to be 7."

Lexaeus grunted, "Why?"

"Because the number 7 and I have had a terrible history together…"

Vexen, who was playing with his hair, dropped the ends and glanced over at him. "You've had a history with a number?"

"Yeah. One that I feel like I don't need to explain."

Xemnas smiled, "Oh, so you do remember something! That's splendid!"

Saïx frowned. _Eh, what?_ "What do you mean…?"

"The number 7 made you remember your past, or at least some part of it. How much do you remember?"

Saïx shrugged. _Like how the hell am I supposed to know?_ "A few things….um. Can I just…go back home? I'll just end up dying or something if I stay as VII."

Zexion scoffed, "That's impossible, it's just a number."

"If you were me you wouldn't say that."

"What is so scary about the number 7?"

Saïx sniffed. _Think, boy, what was so scary about it? Tell a personal story, but put it in different terms!_ "It killed my dog." _Idiot, that's still in personal terms._ Saïx nodded before anyone could ask, "And almost killed me numerous times."

Vexen stood up, "It's a NUMBER. It can't kill anything! It can calculate and make other numbers, but it can't physically doom people!" His hair began to frizz as he spazzed at Saïx.

"Sit down, Vexen, you'll scare him," Xemnas ordered. He smiled at Saïx and waved his hand, "You can sit anywhere you like, then, how's about that?"

Saïx hesitated. _Anywhere I like?_ "Anywhere?"

Xemnas nodded his head slightly and his smirk grew, "Do you want to sit in my spot? It isn't marked with a VII."

"Are you…making fun of me? I don't appreciate that."

The Superior shook his head, "I'm only reassuring you that my chair isn't an unlucky number."

Xigbar sighed, "Dude, if it bothers you that much you can have my chair, I'm not afraid of numbers."

Saïx glared at them all. _Eat dirt. Yes, dirt._ "I just want to go home…"

"You don't have a home," Xaldin said.

"What do you mean? I know I live somewhere—"

"That place is no longer your home. This is your home."

Saïx let his eyes loom on Xaldin before glancing at Xemnas, "Is that true?"

Xemnas nodded, "Unfortunately, yes. You're dead to everyone, so returning would only cause havoc…well…if they can even see you. Sometimes we're like ghosts…completely unseen to the human eye."

Saïx was speechless. How was he supposed to even respond to that?

"We should discuss other things, though. As part of the Organization you have an element and a weapon. These things are predetermined based on your previous life. We, of course, do not know what they are, so we'll have to wait and see what you can do."

"Wait…weapon? Element?"

Xemnas nodded for the group to brandish their weapons. They did and Saïx stared at all of their interesting items. _Sweet, deadly weapons! Wait, what if mine sucks? Shit! It'd be a giant number 7!_ "And…these elements are like…wind and earth and crap?"

Xemnas nodded, "Precisely."

Vexen snorted, "Minus the crap."

"How do I found out what I have?"

Xaldin laughed, "You fight until it shows up, that's how."

"Not to doubt what you're saying…but what if it never shows?"

The group exchanged looks again. This boy must really not have any confidence whatsoever. Xemnas nodded, "You'll get it sooner or later, don't worry. Some just take longer than others."

Saïx crossed his arms over his chest, "When do you expect me to…find out?"

"Not right now, you still have many things to learn. Such as a tour around this place. This meeting is finished for now, I'll show you about."

Zexion frowned, "Xemnas? Shouldn't one of us do it?"

"Nonsense. Considering he's the first of his kind I'd like to find out more about him. This way, Saïx, let's start over here. Ask me anything you want!" Xemnas and Saïx both went off together with that. The others continued to sit there and brood.

"I have a feeling Xemnas is going to start picking favorites," Xigbar retorted.

"I believe you're right," Xaldin agreed.

Zexion sighed. Here they go again. "Guys, let's not make bets on this type of thing. Just because Saïx is the first Nobody to show up that isn't of our original six members doesn't mean he'd like him more than us."

"Is that what you think? I have to agree with Xaldin and Xigbar. We're doomed," Vexen simpered and got up, leaving the group.

Their eyes landed on Lexaeus. He only shrugged and got up, leaving.

"Oy…I hope you guys aren't right," Zexion mumbled.

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This is just a short beginning to a new fic I'm thinking about writing. It's written in 3rd person, but the entire beginning was Saix's thoughts, so that's why it's in italics. It's mostly based around Saix's beginning into the Organization and bits about his past. If you guys like it please review! There will most likely be some XemSai later on, too.


	2. Chapter 2

A chapter update! I got quite a few reviews and fav's on the story, so I decided I'd update it faster than normal. Hopefully you guys like it!

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Saïx followed Xemnas down looming hallways that twisted and wound around into circles and never-ending areas that led to…well...probably nowhere. Things were connected to things that shouldn't be connected, stairs went to other stairs that met other stairs…but…never reached a platform.

"Who the hell invented this place? They were high when they built it."

Xemnas glanced at Saïx and what he just said. It was probably the first time he had ever been cursed at let alone had his building demeaned. It almost made him…smile. Almost. "This building came into existence when this world came into existence. You are here on The World That Never Was. You see, it used to not exist—"

"Who the hell named it that?"

Xemnas gave a forced chuckle and grabbed Saïx's arm, "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your language to a minimum."

"My language? You want me to speak in shorter sentences or something?"

"Uh…no. I…want you to stop using negative words."

"What did I say that was negative?"

"….Hell."

"You don't want me to use the word hell? All right, fine. Anything else?"

"And any relating word that is demeaning like that one."

"So like…bitch and slut?"

Xemnas coughed, "Ahem." He hesitated, eyes staring at Saïx to see if he got the hint. The man looked clueless, waiting for him to answer. "Yes, like those. Now, where were we?"

"Hell if I—I mean…I don't know. This place is….confusing? Is that too negative for you? Maybe I should say puzzling."

"Confusing is…fine." This boy was probably just playing around with him, right? He didn't look like it, though. Hmm…so hard to understand. Especially since he was a newcomer. "I'll show you the basic areas, and from there you can go exploring. Everything links to each other in one way. There's a map over there by the moogle if you get confused."

"Uh wha—" Saïx turned his head and saw the floating creature with its giant red nose, "Dear God what is that? Does it bite?"

"No, it's perfectly harmless. You can go there to purchase items. Some can help you hone your abilities, or make you stronger, and others can help boost your speed or endurance."

Saïx pulled on his hair a bit, "That's weird. Why would we need something like that around?"

"Because we fight."

"Is this some type of…martial arts hidden castle thing and you have a secret hatred against some other dojo or something, so you train and compete to try and kill the other leader? I watched a movie kind of like that once."

Xemnas gave him a questioning look, "You remember watching a movie?"

"Yeah, it has these guys dressed in white and they battled against the guys dressed in black. And they have little subtitles on the bottom of the screen because they don't speak English."

"Fascinating how you…remember that."

"Well it's a pretty new movie…"

"No. I do not recollect anything from my past, nor do a lot of people in the Organization for that matter. But you…you brought up several things from your past already. How do you do it, I wonder?"

_Like I fucking know. Oh, is that too much cursing for you? God. This guy is weird. He's fascinated by my life and all I can remember is that I'm a total loser that died some terrible death. Fuck, I don't even remember how I died. That's how pathetic I am. I'm an idiotic moron who had losers for friends and died a lonely and heartbroken life. End of story._ "I don't get why you're so fascinated with me."

"You wouldn't understand, I daresay. If you had no recollection of anything at all, not even your own name…you would envy those who could."

"I thought you couldn't even feel such things. Or was that just to scare the shit out of me?" He paused. "Sorry. I mean. Scare me to death?" _Ugh. Waaaay too used to cursing._

"We remember emotions. We remember how to be happy or sad, or how to hate or love…but that is just a memory and nothing more. We cannot actually feel it."

"I thought you couldn't remember anything. Remembering how you feel is remembering something."

"Yes, but no events come to mind when I was last happy or sad. Therefore it isn't remembering. It is natural human instinct to act to certain things around you. Such as…the number 7. When you see it you remember the feeling of fear. But normally you just remember fear, you don't remember why you were afraid of it."

"Sounds like a bad case of amnesia.."

"Yes, in a way. Now look up there." Xemnas pointed upward and Saïx glanced up.

"What am I looking at?"

"Do you see the moon?"

"Uh…yeah is it that funny heart-shaped thing?"

"Yes. That moon…that is Kingdom Hearts."

Saïx brought his eyes back to Xemnas, "You're not serious, are you?"

"About what?"

"Its…got a name?"

"Yes. Many things here have a name, but Kingdom Hearts is the most important thing to us."

"Why? It's just a…funny shaped moon."

"It's much more than that, Saïx, it's what keeps us waking up in the morning and helps us to continue to fight."

Saïx brought his eyes back up to the thing. It looked…pathetic. "How does it do that?"

"When we kill, hearts fill up Kingdom Hearts. Once Kingdom Hearts is completely filled with hearts, we can return as humans again."

"What are we?"

"We are nothing, as I have explained before."

"This is…weird. I'm never going to understand this. So. We kill. That moon fills up. Once its full we get hearts. When we get our hearts, we become something. Human. Is that it? What would be the point in doing that? We have all the power we want right here, in this world that…has…creepy little stuffed toys that sell items to us for that benefit."

Xemnas smiled, "We want our hearts back to become human, to feel emotions, to remember what its like to be alive again. It is a lonely road…wandering between something and nothing. Nothing accepts us, but we aren't something, so we fit somewhere in-between."

_This is so insane. Did this guy sit around for a week just plotting up this crap? We're clearly alive. I'm standing right here, in these shoes that…fit me but aren't mine…wearing these clothes that…someone else put on me…and talking to a man who…knows absolutely nothing. I think he likes to hear himself talk because he has no friends. And the rest of those goons at the table? They're probably just in this for shits and giggles. Yes. Shits and giggles. Aside from the fact that I have become more and more confused each time Xemnas speaks, I need to figure out a way to get out of here before he demoralizes my brain and turns me into something a lot like him. I do not want to believe that a moon, which is shaped like a heart, could control me. Or, dare I say it, that I am to become dependent on something that shouldn't exist. This world sucks. This world was not even a world, if Xemnas is correct. Therefore, I do not want to be on this world. I want to go back to wherever the hell I lived and see my mom and dad, tell them I had smoked pot and had a really odd dream, and be grounded. I want to go to my room and sleep in my own bed, see the forest that ate my dog, and wonder every single week for the rest of my life if that beast is still out there ready to get me._

"Is everything all right, Saïx?" Xemnas stopped in his tracks to glance at Saïx. He had fallen way behind with his mind looming back to his past.

"I'm…fine. If…I go along with this whole…Organization thing. If I do as you say, fight these things to fuel Kingdom Hearts, maybe shine your shoes or something…can I go home?"

"You want to go home?"

"Yes. I don't like this place at all. It's not where I belong. I just want to see my mom and dad again and go back to the life I had."

"You can't do that, Saïx."

"Stop calling me that, it's not even my name!"

"Then what is your name?"

Saïx opened his mouth to say it…but nothing came out. _What's my name? Why can't I remember my name? I've…I've remembered so many other things but…not my name?_ "It doesn't concern you what my name is. Just take me home, all right?"

"I can't do that."

"Why the hell not?"

"I do not know where you live."

Saïx glared and thought it over, "I remember the roads, the town, the forests, I know my house address. Does that help? If I told you those things would you bring me back?"

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"I think you need to settle down, first, and learn about this place and your powers before you go around trying to interact with people from your past."

"What good would that do? Scare them in showing that I'm fucking insane?"

"This conversation will be put on hold until you learn how to keep your temper." Xemnas flicked his hand and moved to go into a portal. Saïx watched as Xemnas disappeared.

"Wait, Xemnas!" He was now by himself. "I don't even know where I'm going!" Nothing. _Ugh, how ridiculous. He was like a pissy parent and I'm the disobedient son. Whatever, he can act that way. I'm not going to change. I'm going to go home and pretend I never met these people. But first…how to get there…_ His eyes went over to the moogle that was floating about. _Why do I feel like an idiot?_ He walked over and the moogle squealed a bit and oddly enough…asked him what he wanted. _How do I understand anything from this thing? They were probably the ones who created this castle that has no common sense, though. I can see it now, they're plotting to take over. They look cute and fuzzy, but they're bound to be evil at heart._ "Uh. Can…I have a map or something?" It asked if he was going to pay for it. "I don't have any munny." It refused to give him the map. "Urgh. Can I just LOOK at it, then?" It asked if he had any munny. "I already said I didn't! What are you, fucking retarded? I will take your scrawny little neck and snap it in two, you hear me? I'll rip that ridiculous red nose off of your face and feed it to my dog!" _If I had a dog still. He doesn't know that, though._ "Do you think you're cute or something? I'll make you so ugly not even a little girl would want to touch you." The moogle flew about and went off quickly. "If I find you ever again I'll kill you! You hear me??"

Far off at the top of the castle the others were watching.

"How intriguing. He seems rather violent, will he give us trouble? Though…I could always give him medicine for that attitude problem."

"That's unnecessary, Vex, all we have to do is…rough him up a bit." Xigbar smiled, "I've got an idea, who's willing to do it with me?" The others hesitated before Xaldin raised his hand slightly. "Good, now here's what we do…"

Saïx glanced back up at Kingdom Hearts. _I hate you. Just like everything else that's here._ He heard something behind him and he turned. Xigbar and Xaldin stood there, staring at him. "What do you want?"

Xigbar laughed, "Came to help, man. You said you wanted to go home, right?"

"What were you, eavesdropping?"

"Not in particular, man, but just so happens I can hear a lot of things you say when you scream."

Saïx glowered before crossing his arms over his chest, "And why is this any of your business?"

"Like I said, I want to help."

"How will you do that?"

"First I'll teach you about portals, how's about that? Then once you get used to them…you can go to your house."

_Is this worth the risk? He looks like he's actually trying to help, and the other guy doesn't look like much of a prankster. All right, I suppose I can trust them._ "Okay…teach me."

Xigbar snapped his fingers and two portals appeared. What wasn't known was that the second one was made by Xaldin… "This portal here leads to that portal. Step on in and come out the other end."

"That's it?"

Xigbar nodded, "I'll show you." He walked to the portal, but with his own powers seemingly appeared out the other one. "See? It isn't hard at all. Go ahead, try it, dude."

Saïx hesitated and came forward, staring at the swirling darkness. He went through and glanced around at all of the odd colors swirling around him. He noticed an opening and went to it….

Xemnas had been pacing in a hallway when he heard a crashing noise and several curse words flying from someone's mouth. His eyes darted about to find where the noise had come from. He heard more things move about and he noticed it was coming from the closet. He touched a button on the keypad and the door opened up. Saïx came tumbling out with buckets and mops flying all over the place. Xemnas tried not to laugh as the man struggled to release a bucket from his foot. "What happened to you?"

Saïx snarled and removed the bucket, throwing it on the ground, "That guy with the eyepatch said he'd help me out and he tricked me."

"Xigbar? Yes, he's one to play around like that. But you're not hurt, are you?"

"Does it even matter? Just…show me my room."

"Have you calmed down?"

Saïx smiled as best as he could, which was really fake, "Of course."

"That's good. This way." Saïx moved around the mess and continued to follow Xemnas to...wherever. He had no idea. Luckily it wasn't too far. "This is where you'll be staying. It's a lot nicer than a few of the other rooms, but I assumed as a new member you probably deserve some comforts."

Saïx backed away from the door and shook his head.

"Um. Saïx?"

"I'm not going in there."

"Why?"

"The door number…that room is cursed."

Xemnas' eyes went to the door. It had 'VII' marked on it. "You slept in there last night and you were perfectly fine."

"I was passed out the entire time, I wouldn't have known if anything happened to me or not. And besides...I woke up in different clothes. I find that disturbing. Someone dressed me while I was asleep."

Xemnas frowned and sighed, "You'll be fine, just go in—"

"No."

"Saïx, it's a number."

"I've had way too many experiences with it."

"Having your dog die when you were seven isn't much of an experience."

"There's more to it than that! Look at me! Do I look like I'm joking around? Do you want to know how I got these scars on my face? Do you? It's because of that fucking number!!"

Xemnas grabbed Saïx's shoulders and shook him a bit, "Calm yourself. I'll get rid of the number, how's about that? Would it make you feel any better?"

Saïx nodded and Xemnas opened the door, disappearing for a while before coming back out. He watched the door close and he then took a hammer and started to pry them up. He ripped off the V with ease and worked away on the I's. After awhile they were removed. "Here, hold these." His hands were out holding the numbers, their nails sticking out everywhere. Saïx just stared at them. "Saïx. Take them."

"No, are you crazy? Holding 7 is just as bad as encountering it."

Xemnas shook his hands a bit, "Saïx, it's a V and two I's, it won't hurt you."

"Yes, but in roman numerals that's 7. And 7 is bad."

"How are you going to conquer a fear if you won't face it?"

"I'm facing it right now, I'm just not going to touch it."

"Hold out your hands."

"No!"

"Hold them out."

"I'm not doing it!"

"Hands, Saïx. Come on. I'll just put them back on the door if you're going to keep this up."

"Don't say that! Then I can't stay in that room!"

"Oh look, they're suddenly coming back on the door, hmm…I wonder what you'll do."

"Fine!! Fine. Give it to me."

Xemnas faced Saïx and gently put them in Saïx's hands, "Good, now let's go into your room—"

"I can't bring this in with me."

"Why not? You'll just put it in a drawer and forget about it."

"No, that's bad. Then it'll just be as bad as keeping it on the door."

Xemnas groaned, "You are insanely difficult to work with, you do know that, right?"

"I'm not that terrible…I just have certain things I can't have. Like…these." Saïx jingled the numbers together.

"Well…put them over on that window ledge for now, I suppose. I'll take it away when we're finished, hmm?"

Saïx walked over cautiously and set them down, wiping his hands several times against his cloak before returning to Xemnas' side. "All right…show me my room." Xemnas went in and waved his hand.

"This is it. I hope you like it…even with your picky standards." Xemnas turned and noticed Saïx was counting things. "What…are you doing?"

"Making sure there isn't anything that comes in 7."

"There isn't, Saïx. Trust me."

Saïx glared and then noticed the window, "Whoa…" he moved over and noticed he had a really great view of Kingdom Hearts. Oh boy, seems he'd have to get used to seeing that all the time.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah…well…yeah. I wasn't expecting it." His eyes went back up to Kingdom Hearts. He felt…something odd inside him. Like….power rising within him. Maybe he was just getting excited that he had such a nice room? It felt really odd, though. So much energy…Quickly he moved away to check out the bathroom and found that it was as lavish as the rest. "Does everyone get to have such nice things?"

"Oh…well…not this nice," Xemnas shrugged, "It just happened that you got the second best room."

"Second best?"

"I am number I for a reason."

Saïx glanced at Xemnas and understood. He was like the King of all of them. Did that make Saïx the Queen if he had second best? _Ugh, don't think like that. Then again, I bet Xemnas would like me like that. Augh, the agony of those thoughts are killing me. And I still feel really energized, what the hell is up with this room? Is it giving me a high?_ "Where's your room at?"

Xemnas' eyebrow arched, "Why do you need to know?"

"In case…I need to come see you?"

Xemnas waved his hand for Saïx to follow. They went down the hallway farther and there at the end was a door with a I on it. They went in and Saïx stared at how much bigger Xemnas' room was compared to the others. It was more than twice the size of his…

"Wow." Saïx came forward and looked out the large windows. "Whoa, you can see everyone else's rooms from here."

"Yes. That one is your room."

"I'll remember not to dress in front of my window. Unless you want to see that. I could always give you a show."

Xemnas laughed and turned his head, "That is highly unnecessary. I don't want to see you acting like a fool."

Saïx glanced at the moon again and he turned to Xemnas, "I don't know about you, but I'm just…brimming with energy right now. Is there something I can do that would burn that off?"

"Oh…well…I suppose I can take you down to the training area. Perhaps Lexaeus will help you learn a few things?"

Saïx thought it over, "He's not going to pull a prank on me, will he?"

"No, he's definitely more conservative than that."

"All right….then I'll go."

Xemnas opened a portal and moved to go inside. "Come on, Saïx, I'll get you there."

"I'm not going through one of those again."

Xemnas sighed and grabbed Saïx's hand, "Yes, you are." He dragged VII through the portal and they safely came into the training room. Saïx glanced around. No rough landing, no closets, not even a bucket to get his foot stuck in. _I'm so going to murder that loser, he doesn't even know…_

"Lexaeus, I knew I'd find you down here. Saïx says he wants to burn off some energy…so…if you're willing…" Xemnas shoved Saïx forward, "perhaps you could teach him a few things?"

Lexaeus glanced down at Saïx, silently taking in the blue-haired member. He seemed like he might be able to fight. Might. A bit on the scrawny side…but then again everyone here seemed like that to him. Lexaeus was a man of not only extremely tall stature, but of thick muscles. His chest span could make Beast envious. Without a word he nodded that he would take up the task of helping Saïx out.

"Good. Oh, be careful of him…he's got a temper." Lexaeus smirked and glanced at Saïx again. Xemnas patted Saïx's shoulder, "Don't worry, he won't hurt you. Remember that learning isn't always easy, hmm?"

"Uh…okay."

"When you're finished just tell Lexaeus to take you back to your room. Don't worry, he'll actually make a portal to the correct area."

"Fine…"

Xemnas disappeared through another portal and Saïx sighed. He turned to face Lexaeus and noticed the man was watching him. "So what are you teaching me?"

Lexaeus cracked his neck and fingers before replying, "The basics."

"What does that entail?"

"Fist fighting."

"Oh, I know how to do that."

Lexaeus moved over to a changing room, "We'll see." He pointed for Saïx to follow and they went in. He pointed at locker number 7, "Yours." Saïx stared at the locker and reached to touch it but drew back. Lexaeus at first didn't notice until he had finished changing and Saïx was still standing there. "What?"

"I can't touch it."

"Why?"

"It's…got a 7 on it."

Lexaeus grumbled and went over, opening the door for him, "There."

Saïx glanced in and pulled the clothes out, "All right…this is just….weird. How did they get my size perfect? Like…is someone in here stalking me?"

"Xemnas."

"Oh…boy." Saïx glanced at the clothes and saw the shirt. He threw it on the floor and glared. "There's a 7 on my shirt."

"Are you going to take all day?"

Saïx glanced at Lexaeus and changed. _I'll just not put on the shirt. Who even drew that on there? It's kind of disturbing…looks like a gag, though. Probably that Xigbar guy again. God, I really hate that guy._ Saïx flicked his hair out of his way as he had on a beater. "So what part of fist fighting are you going to teach me?" He glanced at Lexaeus as the man wrapped his hands in tape.

"You'll find out."

_Hmmph. This guy is so silent, he hardly talks. Better than being giddy I suppose._ "All right. Let's go! I'm pumped." Saïx put his dukes up and watched as Lexaeus motioned for him to attack. Saïx came forward and brought his arm back, ready to hit Lexaeus. A fist came through the air and slugged him in the stomach. He flew backward and landed on the ground. _Oh god, my ribcage just died. What the hell, that felt really cheap. And painful. But mostly cheap._ "Auuugh…"

"Don't leave yourself wide open."

Saïx got up and put himself in a more defensive position before trying to hit Lexaeus again. Of course, Lexaeus just deflected it with his arm and slugged him again. "You're not defending yourself."

"I'm trying. You're just…faster than me."

"Try again."

Saïx kept trying, but Lexaeus would give him another punch that was worse than the last. Soon his mouth was bleeding and he had welts forming into bruises. "I can't even land a hit on you."

"I know."

"Then why am I trying?" Saïx got out of position and sighed.

"You wanted to burn energy."

"Yeah…I'm still energetic, though. Not sure why."

"Then keep fighting."

"You're just going to punch the crap out of me and I'll bleed all over Xemnas' floor."

"Possibly. But it wears you out."

Saïx got into position and tried to hit several times. Lexaeus brought his arms into the way and watched as Saïx continued his attack until he started to slow down. He uppercut Saïx, then, and watched VII stagger backward.

"Ouch…that…fucking hurt." Saïx moved his jaw around a bit and glanced at Lexaeus. "You need to learn how to hit softer."

"That's as soft as I go."

"What? You're insane."

"Maybe you need fresh air?" Lexaeus nodded his head at the door, "Perhaps it'll help."

Saïx went over and opened the door, stepping out into the moonlight that Kingdom Hearts emitted. Felt kind of nice. _My body kills. I'll fall asleep and never wake up after this. A good thing, I suppose. Then Xemnas will feel sorry for forcing me to stay here. Ha. And he was all excited that I was a new member. I'm so pathetic._ Saïx grumbled and cracked his fingers, trying to relax. _There's that feeling again. I'm going to explode or something, I can't control it. This energy or whatever it is keeps building up inside me…_Saïx moved from the door back inside, "It keeps building up…"

"What?"

"It's…really weird…I feel like this power…just keeps building up. Like…I can't shake it."

"Keep fighting. Perhaps your powers are coming forth."

Saïx rubbed his hands together, "I'll try…" He moved into position and they started to fight again. This time he could actually dodge some hits, but he still lost in the end. He wound up on his back with a bloody nose and a terrible headache. "I think I should just stop…" Saïx held his hand to his nose and felt the blood come out. Eugh.

"Did you learn anything?"

"Yeah. Always pick fights with someone smaller than me."

Lexaeus smiled at that. With one hand he grabbed Saïx's arm and pulled him up. "A portal to your room, right?"

"Yeah…"

Lexaeus waved his hand and the portal appeared. "There." Saïx nodded and went through cautiously. All right, hopefully this wasn't a trick. _My nose hurts like hell. If I'm being tricked I'm going to wipe blood all over this fucking castle._ He stepped out and noticed it was his room. _Good. So I can trust Lexaeus at least._ He went to the bathroom to clean up and decided to take a shower. _Ooooh thank the Gods for showers. I love this place just for this. My own bathroom. Makes me feel kingly._ Saïx cleaned off the blood and sweat, coming out after his shower in just a towel. He sprawled out on his bed and noticed it was extremely nice. It made him wonder what Xemnas' bed was like. _I should totally find out. Not like he'd use up the whole thing, right? I wonder how many people can fit on his bed at once._ Saïx would have taken a nap, but the energy was still consuming him.

He thought about putting clothes on and seeing what else was out there to do. A lingering thought about Xigbar, though, made him decide against it. He didn't want to fall into any more traps today. Especially ones like that. While he contemplated things over in his head, relaxing and building up more energy, he heard someone enter into his room. His first reaction was to get up and search for clothes, but instead he continued to lay there absorbing energy. It was Zexion. _Hell, like I care if this kid sees me almost naked. Besides, there isn't anything to be embarrassed about. There are only guys here._ "Yeah?"

Zexion flicked his hair slightly and glanced at Saïx's mostly naked body. He coughed slightly and brought his eyes away from him, "Xemnas wants to know how your training session went."

"Painful."

"…"

"No powers or elements yet."

"I see."

"Is there anything else I can do around here? That was fun and all, but I don't want to keep getting the hell kicked out of me each time I get bored. There's got to be some form of entertainment around here, right?"

Zexion thought it over and pursed his lips in thought. He finally shrugged, "I don't know. You could go read a book."

"Augh, no, that's the last thing I want to do."

"Reading our handbook might help you, though, in understanding the Organization better."

"You have a handbook?" Saïx sat up and cracked his back.

"Yes, it's in our library. If you put some clothes on I can take you there."

Saïx let the thought roll over in his mind. _It might help me figure out something about this place and all of these whack jobs. Couldn't hurt to learn a little bit, eh?_ "All right." Saïx got up and grabbed clean clothes, changed, and followed Zexion out of his room. _This kid is really short. I wonder how old he is? Doesn't look much older than 13 if you ask me. Then again, I'm only judging by height. I bet he's at least 17, give or take a year._

Zexion turned and went up some stairs. _Oh boy, some more insane stairs to go through. I wonder if I'll make my way back to my room after this? Probably not, I'll end up getting lost. I can just tell. I wonder if he can see through that mass of hair of his? I wouldn't think so…but perhaps I'm wrong? What if he's got some weird facial deformity and he covers it up with his hair? Whoa. That'd be so insane._

"Here." Zexion waved his hand at the door and it opened up. "If you need anything from me just…spray that bottle over there."

Saïx glanced at the air freshener, "Spray it?"

"Yes. I'll come in here if you do."

"How do you know if I sprayed it?"

"I have an acute sense of smell."

"Oh really…"

"Yes. I can tell that you shampooed your hair twice judging by the smell right now."

_What the hell. That's creepy._ "Odd."

"Perhaps? Now have fun. The handbook is on the table already."

Zexion turned and left. Saïx slowly brought himself to the table and sat down, grabbing up the handbook curiously. It wasn't too thick, maybe a quick scan through it would help him understand things more? He flipped to the first page and tried reading the first paragraph. _Oh my fucking God this hurts my brain. There's so many big words in here and they're all right in a row. Who wrote this?_ He flipped to the front. _Damn you, Xemnas, damn you._ He sighed and flipped back to his spot, trying to read the same sentence over and over until it made sense. It…didn't. He finally flipped the page giving up and noticed a few pages in that someone had made notes in the margins. Actually…several people had.

'Xemnas means to say that we've taken on the shell of our former bodies.'

'We don't have a determined position. We're not in the light, nor are we in the dark. Therefore we're somewhere in-between. We just don't know WHERE exactly.'

'I'm in your mother's pants, that's where I'm at.'

'Highly irrelevant.'

'We have hearts, but we don't have "hearts". A complicated explanation is given, but in the end it all points to one thing. We cannot feel emotions due to our non-existence.'

'We remember how to smile and laugh, but we don't actually feel it.'

'I remember this one time when I was 10 and I had set my sister's pants on fire. Every time I think of that I chuckle a little.'

'You never had a sister.'

'Hey, don't ruin the moment.'

Saïx flipped the pages a bit more to find more useful things.

'We kill for hearts. More hearts means gaining our own back.'

'Deep memories cannot be remembered at all.'

'What makes us 'us' no longer exists.'

'We're not who we once were.'

'Amen to that, brother.'

Saïx glanced at the paragraphs of nonsense and flipped a few more pages, seeing the notes continued. Even random drawings. Who even had time to doodle in the handbook?

'Heartless are like us, except they don't have a shell, nor do they have conscience thought.'

'They kinda look like this.'

'Aww, that's cute.'

'If you turn your heard to the side it reminds me of Xemnas' hair.'

'Whoa, you're right.'

'That's odd. It does.'

'For once I have to agree with you.'

'I bet Xemnas would look like this as a Heartless.'

'Ahaha, that's awesome.'

'No no, he'd need more chest to him. Like this.'

'That's just creepy.'

'And yet oh so true.'

Saïx frowned and flipped through more pages. It was just…junk. He wasn't learning anything besides that Xemnas had a bunch of goons for lackeys. And also the undeniable fact that Xemnas did have quite the chest span. He closed the handbook and walked around the library curiously. He noticed a lot of…dirty magazines in the back corner. _What the hell. Is this some type of pleasure castle? Who even supplies these people with these things? I hope not Xemnas._ He got a closer look at some of them and frowned. _Playgirl? Isn't that…naked guys? Whoa. That's…uh…weird. Maybe they're just here along with the others on accident? Perhaps the moogles did it? Those little snots…_ Saïx edged away from the corner and walked around to glance at some of the other things. The books in there were…well…odd. He wasn't sure if these grown men even read any of the titles, but they sounded…childish. Either that or overly romantic. He turned and paused at the aisle he was about to enter. He counted. _Ooooh no, I'm not entering that aisle. 7? Ha. You almost got me, but I'm one step ahead of you._ He moved past it and entered into the next aisle. A book was sticking out from its spot. _What's up with this one? Couldn't even push the dumb thing back in its spot. Wait…there's no title on it? Hmm…_ Saïx glanced around and opened it up. The inside of the book screamed the title in capitals. HOW TO HAVE GREAT SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER. _My brain just exploded. Why is this even in here? This should be back with the porn._ Saïx shoved it back into its spot and sighed as he rounded the corner. A few books fell off of their shelf. _Someone needs to learn how to put these dumb things away better._ He went over and grabbed up one of the fallen books, glancing at the title. _Oh my God, why is this Organization so horny? This is so wrong._ He heard the door open and clinking from someone's cloak strings. He shoved the book back into a space quickly and tried to do the same with the others. He saw the figure come down the aisle and meet up with him. "Uh. Hi. I was just. Putting the books back on the shelf. They fell." _Sound a little more scared, he'll think you've been masturbating back here._

Xemnas glanced at the books, "They're out of order."

Saïx glanced at the books. All of them screamed 'SEX' all over them. At least in Saïx's mind. He opened his mouth and faced Xemnas, "Uh. Well. I didn't know there was an order. They were all over the floor."

"Most books in libraries have an order. Such as this one," Xemnas picked up one that said 'Learn Your Positions' and pushed the books aside, "It goes right here."

Saïx stared at the book as Xemnas fixed it into its spot. _This is so awkward. I feel like I got caught with my hands down my pants. Except I think this is even more awkward than that._

"Is there something wrong, Saïx?"

"Why are all of these books….um…"

"About sex?"

"Y-yeah."

"They're not." Xemnas grabbed up a book that said 'Extreme Sex: Illustrated!' and opened it up. "See?"

Saïx frowned, "That has charts and graphs in it."

"Exactly. The covers were all switched awhile ago as some type of a gag…and we're too lazy to change it back."

"Oh…so…the porn in the back corner isn't actual porn?"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "What porn?"

Saïx moved over and pointed at it, "That."

Xemnas stared at it a minute before pulling one off the shelf, opening it up. The fold-out descended in front of them both. "No, this is definitely porn. Hmm. Judging by the looks of it, I think it's Xigbar's."

Saïx stared at the picture. _Wow, she's hot. _"Oh."

Xemnas folded up the magazine nicely and set it back in its spot, "No worries, the rest of the library is filled with clean things. At least I believe it is, I don't visit here often."

"You hate reading, too?"

"Well I've already read everything in here."

"That's…insane."

"Not in particular. So, Zexion told me that you were beaten pretty badly. How did that turn out?"

"Um. Badly? I'm fine, though. I was hoping for something more…entertaining around here."

"Still feeling energetic?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm restless. I need to do something before I explode."

Xemnas contemplated this, "You could always look at porn I suppose."

Saïx's jaw dropped, "W-what?"

Xemnas' eyes met his, "I was only kidding. What do you feel like doing?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why not go on a walk?"

"A walk?"

"Yes. A walk outside, maybe?"

"I suppose."

"I'll come with you."

Saïx followed Xemnas out of the library and outside the castle. The place looked…well…dreary. "Man…this looks like hell." He paused. "I mean, this place looks really…um…uh…"

"Indeed."

"Yeah. The only thing that doesn't look so…upsetting is Kingdom Hearts. And Kingdom Hearts looks a bit…"

Xemnas glanced at him, "A bit what?"

"Uh…girly?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's…a moon…in the shape of a heart. That's so…womanly."

"Womanly?"

"Yeah. My mom would make Valentine cookies in the shape of hearts."

"Valentine's."

"Yes. Not that I ever liked the holiday or anything…"

"Why not?"

"Just…because." Saïx shrugged a few times and dropped the subject. _He doesn't need to know about that, so shut up about it._

"Does it bother you?"

"Yes."

"How does it bother you?"

"Just…things."

"Is it because no one loved you?"

Saïx felt that energy spike a bit in him. What the heck? His eyes landed on Xemnas in hatred, "That has nothing to do with it."

"It doesn't?"

"No. So. Drop it."

"Drop what?"

"The subject."

"Which part?"

"All of it!"

"Are you angry?"

"No."

"I see."

"Would you stop?"

"Stop what?"

Saïx's eyes landed back on Xemnas. That power…it was really building up in him. It was causing him to shake. "Just stop!"

Xemnas noticed his reaction and frowned, "Saïx, are you all right?"

"I'm fine! Just…leave me alone!" _I can't stop this feeling. What the heck is going on with me? I feel like I'm going to burst. I can't stop shaking! My muscles are killing me…_

"Saïx, calm yourself…"

_Those were the last words I heard from Xemnas before the scariest thing happened to me. All I remember is feeling myself…change. I don't remember exactly what happened…but the thing I do remember is hearing myself scream. And then…I never woke up._

7777777

"What happened to him?"

"He turned into some type of a crazed monster and attacked me."

"How much of a change?"

"His eyes glowed bright yellow, his teeth were like fangs, and his physical stature changed, as if his muscles grew just for the attack. I believe he couldn't hear a word I was saying to him, he became extremely unresponsive, and after it happened he passed out. He hasn't woken up since."

The others members were gathered outside of Saïx's door. They were discussing what happened to the poor guy. It hardly made any sense in what triggered his sudden rabid attack.

"He did complain about feeling a strong energy in him," Zexion added and Lexaeus nodded in agreement.

"You mean after the beating he got he still wanted more?"

"Yes, Xigbar, it was odd. Almost as if he's fueled by an outside source."

Xemnas glanced at the door curiously. What had triggered his outburst? Was it the memories? But…he had always remembered.

"What was it that you were discussing, Xemnas?" Vexen pulled out a pen and paper to take notes.

"Valentine's Day."

Vexen almost wrote it down but frowned, "Valentine's Day?"

"Yes. He was complaining that Kingdom Hearts reminded him of it…and how much he hated it."

"Could be linked to a 7, eh?" Xigbar suggested.

"Valentine's Day is on the 14th, though," Zexion mumbled.

Xaldin shook his head, "Not if you times 7 by 2."

The others fell silent. Was it because of 7? No. That was dumb, it didn't make any sense.

"Kingdom Hearts…made him remember something he didn't like. Perhaps it's more than just a memory he received?" Vexen jotted things down. No one understood what he meant. That was when the door opened and Saïx was standing there looking completely wiped out.

"What happened? Did I miss something? Did I pass out?"

Xemnas grabbed Saïx to support him, "You shouldn't be up like this, go lay down."

Saïx shook his head, "No, I feel fine. I'm energized. I want to know what happened."

Zexion's brow creased, "How are you energized? You just wiped yourself out trying to kill Xemnas. Where are you getting this energy from?"

Saïx shrugged, "I don't know. You make it sound like I did this on purpose."

Vexen smiled, "Xemnas, is it possible if I could take Saïx down into the lab area and run a few tests on him?"

Saïx snarled, "I don't want to play guinea pig."

Xemnas patted his arm, "Don't fret, he's just trying to help you understand what's wrong with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me. I just passed out was all."

"After trying to kill the Superior," Xigbar butted in.

"How could I even do that? I don't even know how to fight that well."

"It goes much deeper than that, Saïx, if you let Vexen help you—"

Saïx pulled away from Xemnas, "I don't want to."

Xemnas sighed, "Then don't. Just stay in your room."

"Why?"

"Because you're dangerous."

_I felt it again. That power coming up through me; that unexplained change that came on before I could even stop myself. I can't even remember what happened after that._

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"It's been 7 days, Superior, he hasn't opened an eye, nor as he moved a muscle. He's sat on the lab table without being bound to it and he hasn't made a move to run for it. He isn't even functioning. Everything about him has shut down. It's as if he's dead, but not."

Xemnas stared at Saïx. He went over and picked up Saïx's arm and let it drop. There was no reflex to stop it from dropping, no resistance in letting him pick it up. Nothing. "How odd. Have you given him anything to help him wake up?"

"Yes. Plenty of things. But nothing works. He just sleeps onward as if I hadn't even bothered in trying."

Xemnas got closer and stared at Saïx's face. So peaceful and untouched. "Have you checked his brain waves? Was there anything going on at all?"

"The absolute minimum. Much like a bear that's in hibernation. I've never seen anything like this, Superior."

Xemnas finished his circle around Saïx and stopped near Vexen, "Perhaps we shall return him to his room and see how he fairs?"

"Are you insane? What if he wakes up?"

"Then he'll be awake."

"He could attack again! He needs to be controlled, strapped down, put on medication or something."

"What if…this was his power?"

Vexen's eyebrow twitched, "You are telling me that his power is to become a rabid beast and try and kill everything in its path?"

"In a way….but there's something that tells me this is what his power is. Now we must know his weapon. Perhaps he'll summon it next time he attacks?"

Vexen put his clipboard down, "I don't want to be near him next time he does that. You saw what he did to Zexion."

"Yes, quite a fascinating scene."

"The poor boy won't leave his room in fear that Saïx will come back to attack him!"

"Well…they've always wondered why 6 was afraid of 7…"

Vexen sighed, "No need for the jokes."

"If we return him to his room and he wakes up…that means there's something in there that he's drawing power from. It can't be just sleep…because he's clearly not waking up. In fact…if we leave him here he'll just waste away from malnourishment."

Vexen picked up his board again, "So I'm to observe what in his room is different than here in the lab?"

"Precisely."

After Saïx was moved back into his room Vexen began to jot down as much as he could. There were quite a lot of differences if he went into particular details. "A window to let in light, the lights are off, there's carpet, a bed with blankets, a pillow, the temperature is 5 degrees warmer than my lab area…." Vexen paused in his notes and started to look closer at Saïx. He hadn't changed positions as of yet. His eyes went to the other materials around. It seemed Saïx hadn't touched much…

He went into the bathroom and noticed Saïx had already made it his own. Clothes and towels littered the floor. "Hmmph." He walked past the mess and glanced in his shower, noticing that he had used it before. But could there be something in the shower that stimulated his energy? Perhaps…. "Shower…possible stimulus?" He wrote this as he said it and heard something else. He turned slowly and glanced out into the room. What was that? He heard it again and his eyes zoomed onto Saïx. He was…twitching. He began to write vigorously and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Strange…the 7 has been blackened out…" Vexen muttered as he continued to stare at the clock. Saïx groaned and Vexen got closer, writing as fast as he could about what he was doing. "So odd, why is he waking up? This makes no sense at all."

_I'm having a dream, a dream so deep I can't get out of it. I remember hanging out with my friends, residing within my house. I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling as three of them played cards and the other lay beside me. I can't remember his face or his name, but he's lying there with me in complete silence. The other three continue their gambling and silly poker when I hear that door open…the one that separates me from my family. It's my mother. She looks worn out and tired, dark circles and wrinkles accent her cold eyes. She always forces a smile to us, because she's forgotten how to actually smile._

"_Would you boys like anything?"_

_The three on the floor talk about food and drinks, which she forces another smile on her face. She wants to be mother to all of them, to all of us…but she can't, can she? She can only provide like they're guests and watch them leave every night. I think that's why I don't have friends over that often. I hate seeing her so upset._

"_I'll bring something up, then."_

_She leaves, that door creaking as it sets back into its spot. I take my eyes away from it, glancing back at the ceiling again. I know what they're going to say next, once she's completely gone. They have to remark at some point, and I know tonight is that night. She brings in the beverages and food, making sure everyone is satisfied before she says she's going out with my dad. As soon as that downstairs door slams shut they awkwardly stop their eating and drinking._

"_Your mom is really nice, but why does she seem so upset?"_

_Was it even worth explaining? I'd have to say something sooner or later, but should I say it right now? To tell the truth, I'm scared. I don't want to be pitied anymore, but it's just what I get._

"_It bothers her to see so many kids in the house."_

"_Oh, should we not come over anymore? I didn't know we were bad…"_

"_It's not that." I sat up, my eyes landing on their faces, only the one on the bed is blurred. "She wants you all to stay and be part of the family."_

"_But you just said—"_

"_Yes. You come and go as guests, not as family. That bothers her. She wants to keep you all here forever."_

_They each glanced at each other, unsure what that meant. "So she likes us like her own kids?"_

"_Yeah…like that."_

"_I didn't know she wanted a big family. Why didn't she have more kids?"_

_I felt that one, my own heart sinking to the pits of my stomach. I should say something, but I feel a lump in my throat._

"_She…tried…"_

_And then I felt my dream world start to rupture and leave me. I struggled with my memory, trying to release what I wanted to say, but everything blurred. I couldn't speak anymore as some type of energy washed over me._

Saïx quickly awoke and was breathing hard, shaking from those thoughts. _I…I remember…_

"Dear heavens, you scared me! You're finally awake, how I'm not sure, but nonetheless we can take the data I've recorded and figure out why you're having such odd sleeping patterns. There must be something in this room that is powering you to have such energy, I'm sure. You've been asleep for 7 days—"

Saïx stood up and went over to the bathroom. _I'm going to be sick, I can't even comprehend what's going on anymore. He said seven. Why? Why that number? I can't be awake right now…not now._ Saïx glanced into the mirror, his own image seemed unfamiliar to him. _I don't even know who I am anymore. Why couldn't I have awoken in my own bed, seeing my mother happy for once? Why did she hurt herself…and then take it out on me? I only wanted to see her smile…a real smile. And yet she closed herself off, blocking her feelings from me and dad. And my father hated me because I'm the cause of her pain…and I don't even know why._

Vexen stood up, adjusted his pen in his clipboard, "Are you all right? You look a little pale. I believe you might need to eat something and let your body adjust from its once vegetative state." Saïx ignored Vexen and smashed his fists into the mirror. It shattered and began to cut him, but he continued his brutal attack on the thing.

"I hate you! I fucking hate you!" Saïx began to shout, the mirror now completely destroyed. The shelves on the inside were broken and the items within had fallen all over the sink.

"Seven years of bad luck," Vexen mumbled to himself before he grabbed a spray bottle from the corner. He let it puff out a cloud of scented air and Zexion soon appeared. "Help me with him, won't you?"

Zexion glared, "Fine, but just this once. What the hell is he doing?"

"I have no idea, but he's not stopping."

Saïx ripped the medicine cabinet from its place and threw it on the floor, the rest of what survived had now smashed into tiny bits. He stepped out of the bathroom, glaring at the two. "Get out."

Zexion summoned his book and shook his head, "Saïx, please calm down. We're trying to help you."

He snarled, fangs starting to show, "I don't need your help!! None of you are helpful to me! Just get out before I kill you!"

Vexen started to write down more notes, "Fascinating, he's changing again! It must be something in here!"

Zexion grabbed Vexen's arm, "Forget the notes, let's get out. He's too dangerous to mess around with, especially at this stage."

"Don't be silly!"

"Vexen, trust me!"

Saïx's eyes blazed yellow and something formed in his hands…

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"So…his weapon showed up? What did it look like?" Xemnas asked as he sat at the kitchen table with the others. Vexen slid him a drawing of it. "How…interesting looking."

"Yeah? Try getting stabbed with it, that's how interesting it is! Damn kid practically killed me." Vexen hissed in anger and sighed, "Ahem. Sorry, Superior, it just came out."

"No, that's fine. Did anything else happen?"

"He completely obliterated his room, but other than that there wasn't much else different than his other attack I saw. When he woke up, though, he went into the bathroom and smashed his mirror with his fists…"

Xigbar snorted, "Seven years of bad luck right there." A few chuckles went throughout the group at the 7 reference, but Xemnas hushed them.

"Did he give a reason at all about his actions?"

Vexen shrugged, "He said 'I hate you' to it and broke the dumb thing."

Xemnas leaned back in his chair. Why would Saïx say something like that…to his mirror, no less. He hated himself? That was strange…but why? "I must inquire him about this."

"You have to make him wake up first, though," Xaldin commented.

"Yes, it's hard to catch him in a good mood. When he wakes up he's belligerent, and when he's passed out he's completely nonfunctional. We also have no lead as to why he's acting this way. We've narrowed it down to his room, at least. But what in there could give him such ungodly powers?"

Vexen produced the notes he took and smiled, "I did take detailed notes about his surroundings. I wonder if it has something to do with his bathroom?"

Lexaeus raised an eyebrow, "Explain."

"Possibly his bathroom is just an essential he needs, so he gets energy from being around it?"

Xaldin brushed a lock of hair from his shoulder, "You're saying that he gets excited and energetic from shampooing his hair or something as equally disturbing?"

Zexion tilted his head up, "He did shampoo his hair twice before I went in there to take him to the library."

There was silence to absorb that fact thoughtfully.

"Well, I only knew because I could smell it, and he never denied the fact…so…"

Vexen smiled, "And he went in there before he attacked us, so that could be very possible!"

Xemnas frowned, "He did look in there before he told me he was energetic, but what would be so great about a bathroom that would give him enough energy to attack everyone?"

Xigbar snapped his fingers, "When he attacked all of us he hadn't gone into the bathroom, did he?"

Zexion shrugged, "The door was closed, we wouldn't really know."

The group fell silent again. A bathroom seemed like such a dumb thing to even bring up. "He also attacked me outside before he attacked the entire group, remember? He didn't go to the bathroom then, he was in the library. So that idea is completely debunked. What else did you notice?"

Vexen scratched the bathroom off of the list, "His bed."

"He hadn't slept in it before or touch it when I gave him the introduction, so that can't be possible."

Vexen drew another line and twiddled with his pen, "The lights were off."

"Drawing powers from darkness?" Xaldin asked and they plotted over it.

Lexaeus spoke up, "Impossible. When we were fighting the lights were on. He went outside and came back in and said he still had energy."

Xemnas blinked, "Outside."

Vexen was scratching more things off of his list and a frown creased across his face, "What about it?"

"He's getting his power from something outside."

Zexion shook his head, "When he attacked all of us he wasn't outside."

Xemnas nodded, "Yes, but something outside was obviously inside."

"What do you mean, Superior?"

"In a closed in room with no windows, Saïx slept as if he was dead. In a room with a window, Saïx wakes up within minutes and has enough energy to fuel himself for the rest of the day. He fought Lexaeus to burn it off, but when he stepped outside he regained it all back. After continuing his fight and losing his energy once again, he went to his room. Once he takes a shower and lays down, he regains energy because the curtains are open. Zexion comes in to see how he is and Saïx tells him he wants to do something. I met him in the library where I suggest he take a walk outside. When we're out there he starts to react violently, ending in him changing and passing out. I moved him back to his room, where he's once again regaining energy, and we all discussed why he acted that way. He opens the door and fights again."

The others nodded before Xigbar spoke up, "So…the question is…what is outside that can come in?"

"Light," Vexen mumbled as he stared at his notes. He had written it down and not even figured it in. How stupid of him.

"The moonlight fuels him?" Zexion questioned.

"Explains his odd transformation," Xigbar mumbled. "When he got all snarly at us I totally thought of werewolves. Did anyone else get that feeling?"

Everyone mumbled in agreement. How dumb of them not to bring it up.

"So, his weapon is a claymore that hurts worse than listening to Xigbar speak, and his element is absorbing moonlight to go berserk," Vexen summed it all up.

"Berserk!" all of them said at once which caused them to laugh a bit.

Lexaeus glanced at Xemnas, "How are you going to break it to him?"

He hadn't thought about that yet, he was hoping it wasn't something this insane. The others adjusted easily to their weapons and their powers. Saïx? He'd probably throw a tantrum and pass out from wasting his energy. It would definitely be hard to even control him, let alone get him to control himself. "I'm unsure as of yet, but I'm more worried about getting him awake and calm."

"Oh yeah, man, that's going to be hard. He seems really uptight and moody. Maybe if you woke him up and told him he was beautiful or something he'd forget about being so down in the dumps?"

Vexen groaned, "Xigbar, your suggestions are terrible. He already said he hated himself, I highly doubt he'd appreciate the fact that we've taken an interest in his looks now."

"Why does he hate himself? I'm still wondering about that," Zexion interjected.

"He can't feel hate, but something he remembers made him think it." Xemnas stood up, "I'll talk to him."

"How are you going to do that?"

Xemnas glanced at Xigbar, "Tie him down and let him throw a fit until I get what I want." He opened a portal and disappeared leaving the others to process that.

Xigbar coughed a bit and a giant smile came across his face, "Who else thought that was filled with sexual innuendo?" The entire group raised their hand. "Good, just making sure I wasn't the only one who imagined Xemnas using Saïx as a sex toy."

Xaldin stood up, "I'm going to make sure he doesn't do so."

Vexen scoffed, "You're curious to hear Saïx's excuses, aren't you?"

"Of course. He's got to be insane for a reason."

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"_She tried…" I paused. Their faces came into view even clearer than before. Each one of them had on a curious look besides the one who relaxed on the bed. He was still a blur, but his body seemed familiar. "My mom had tried many times before me. To be exact, six times."_

"_So…she…just couldn't get pregnant or something?" I watched his face turn from mine to glance at the others. As if they really wanted to know what my mom was doing with my dad at night. Then again, that happened so many years ago, why did it even matter?_

"_No…she got pregnant each time…the kids never lasted, though."_

"_Oh wow…not to…sound rude, but…how?"_

"_Miscarriage, stillborn, premature…the other three were fine for the first few months and then died from some type of disease. I'm not sure what it was…she never really told me the details."_

"_Man. You're lucky number 7 I suppose. Was anything wrong with you when you were born?"_

"_No. I didn't have any problems. And don't say I'm lucky…especially when you associate it with 7."_

"_What? Oh, yeah sorry. I still don't get your deal with that number. How is it you're so prone to accidents when it shows up?"_

_I had turned to stare at the woods, wondering if the beast was still out there. "I can't tell you. If I knew the answer, I'd find a way to reverse it."_

_The figure that was on the bed sat up finally, grabbing onto my arm. "Maybe we should talk about something else?"_

_I felt myself slip away again, losing the dream once more._ Saïx awoke and his eyes trailed upward. He was lying on his bed splayed out. "I want to go back," he whispered to no one in particular. Xemnas stood up from where he had been coming over to see that he was awake. That was rather quick at how soon he awoke. The moon's powers must have a rather good affect on him.

"Saïx? Are you all right?"

Saïx let his eyes fall onto Xemnas. _Why is he in here bothering me? I just want to be left alone._ "Please…just go away."

"I don't mean to bother you…I just need to know if you're all right. You're going through a lot, I can imagine."

"You don't even know…" Saïx moved to sit up and found himself bound to his bed. His arms and legs were tied to the posts and his middle was bounded tightly to the bed. He struggled and panicked, "What the heck? Why did you do this to me??"

"Don't freak out, Xaldin helped me do it. You've been so violent that I decided you needed to be bound for a bit. I'll let you loose soon; don't think I'm going to just leave you like this."

"Let me go now! This is uncomfortable and disturbing on so many levels—"

"No. This is for your safety and mine. Look what you've done while you've been rampaging about." Saïx finally glanced at his room. It was…destroyed. _I did that? But…I don't remember…_ "I know this seems awkward, but I need you to tell me a few things—"

"Don't. I don't want to talk right now." Saïx turned his head to face the other way, trying to ignore Xemnas.

After a moment of silence Xemnas got up, "Then perhaps I shall return in an hour?"

Saïx squirmed, "What?"

"You don't want to talk, so I'll just come back when it's more convenient for you." Xemnas moved to the door, opening it up to leave.

"Wait!! Wait! I'm still stuck to this bed!"

"Of course, I'm not going to retie you again. It was hard enough the first time."

"Don't leave! I'm not going to lay here and wait for you to come back."

"Are you going to talk to me, then?"

Saïx sighed. Could he really refuse? "Yes…"

The Superior returned and sat on the bed, "Then explain to me why you hate yourself."

"What?"

"Vexen told me that you smashed your bathroom mirror and yelled 'I hate you' to it. Is there a reason why you said that?"

Saïx stared at Xemnas. He had to explain this while he was tied down this his bed? God. It was going to be one shitty conversation, he could tell. "It's…because I had a dream."

"What about?"

"About an event that happened in my life."

Xemnas nodded, "Continue."

"I was with my friends and I saw my mother. She was really…depressed, and you could tell. I blame myself for it. She wanted a big family, and all she got was me."

"You make it sound like you're terrible."

"I am. I don't know what's wrong with me…but I disappoint her, I think. I remember being attached to her and yet being distant at the same time."

"What exactly happened in the event?"

"She left with my dad and my friends wanted to know about her, so I told them."

"What did you say?"

"That…she wanted to have more kids."

"Was she unable to have more?"

"No. There were six before me, but they all died."

"Hmm…you're number seven."

"Don't."

"Sorry."

"I've never seen her smile."

Xemnas turned his eyes from the floor to Saïx's eyes, "What do you mean?"

"She's never smiled. Ever. I know it's because of me, but I can't remember why…"

"Perhaps you'll remember soon?"

"I'm not sure if I want to."

"Why not?"

Saïx shrugged and struggled a bit with the position he was in, the ropes across his stomach pulled tight with his every movement. "What if it's something I was supposed to forget?"

"Nothing is meant to be forgotten."

"I really want to see her again…"

Xemnas shook his head, "I've already told you—"

"I know. I just…feel like I should apologize."

"For what?"

"For everything I ever did to her. For making her believe that she could have a son, or even have a family at one point in her life."

"You can't control what has already happen, nor can you control how fate worked. You have nothing to be upset over. Your mother chose how to react to things. She continued to try and have kids because she wanted at least one. You were that. I don't think she's disappointed in you. Perhaps she's worried that one day you won't be there for her to watch? Much like right now."

"She never made me feel important."

Xemnas brushed some of his hair away, "Explain."

"I know I used to try and impress her, but I don't think she's ever cared in the least what I do. And then I know I tried doing some really bad things, but she never scolded me. It's as if my existence was nothing to her."

"There must be a reason."

"I know…but I'm afraid to sleep."

"Because if you sleep you'll find out."

"That might be the case. And I don't want to live with that."

"You're not living anyway, so finding out shouldn't matter."

Saïx didn't argue. Why was this a big deal anyway? "I'm not tired. Can you unleash me?"

"No. You still need to find a way to control yourself before I let you prance around. Try to get some rest, I'll check back with you in a few hours." Xemnas rose and covered the window with its thick curtains. The room turned completely black. "I'll explain to you about your weapon and element when I come back." He was gone.

_Sweet…not. I'm tied to this god damn bed in a position that's really uncomfortable in the dark. Why'd he close the curtains? Thinking I'll go to sleep quicker that way?_ A yawn escaped him. _Wow, I am tired. I can't sleep, though. If I sleep than…I'll know, won't I? Then again, is it so bad to know? Perhaps when I find out I will no longer have this attachment in seeing her? Then I can stay here and follow the Organization… Wait, didn't I tell myself that I would succumb to their tricks if I didn't get away? I'm already becoming obedient. I need to get out of here, if I stay I'll lose everything I once had._ Saïx struggled with the ropes. He pulled and writhed in his spot, the boards jiggled slightly at his attempt. _Pull harder, harder!! I'm getting tired, but I can't stop! I think my left leg is getting loose._ He wrestled his left leg and felt the rope finally give out. _Oh my god, that took way too long._ His eyes glanced around as they had adjusted to the dark room. Above his bed was a picture frame with some dumb saying in it. He brought his left leg up and kicked it off, watching it plop onto the bed beside him. Saïx smashed the glass with his heel. _And here comes the fun part._ He struggled in kicking his boot off. _Why is this so freaking hard? Damn laces are too fucking tight._ After five minutes of struggling with his boot it finally came off. _Thank the fucking Gods. Now for the painful event._ His foot moved over to the smashed glass, poking around through the sharp pieces until he could pick one up. A wince came to his face as it dug into his foot. _Keep going, you can't stop now._ Slowly his foot brought the glass down to his other tied leg and began to cut away at the rope. _I wish I could see._ Minutes flew by as he continued the cutting and struggling. He felt hope slowly slipping away from him until he pulled tight on his right leg and the rope loosened. _I've never felt so proud of myself right now. No time, I need to get the rest of me loose._ His eyes went to the rope holding his torso down. _I think I can slide out…_ He started to work his way upward, kicking the rope down as best as he could. This struggle lasted 20 minutes, seemingly never-ending as it would catch around his hips and bind him down tighter than before. Finally after a long battle it went to his thighs where he could easily sit up and pull his legs away from the mess. _Where's my glass? Shit. I'll have to find another piece._ His eyes caught the frame with the broken glass and he brought his wounded foot over to pick up another piece. He fished through the smaller pieces before finding the perfect size. With careful movement he grabbed it with his feet again, feeling his already ripped flesh become tenderer with the glass cutting in. He ignored the pain and stretched his leg upward into the air. As he lay down he found that his leg could actually reach his hand. _I did not know I was this flexible. I never wanted to know that I was this flexible. Ever._ His hand clasped the glass. _Oh my God, I'm almost free._ Quickly he sawed away at the rope, breaking free faster than before. Then he reached over and untied his remaining hand. As he sat up he felt himself begin to shake with relief and fear. _How could he even do that to me? I feel like I could have seriously been hurt in that situation, even if we're on the same team. No, I don't have time to think about this. Where's my shoe? There it is. I'm getting out of here if it's the last thing I do._ He shoved his bloody foot back into the boot and limped over to the window to let in a small bit of light. His hands shook as he let go of the curtain. _What the hell am I doing? If Xemnas is watching from his window he'll see the curtain move. Shit. What if he's coming this way, now? Was I too loud? Shit!_ Saïx panicked and looked around for somewhere to hide but he couldn't even find anything that wasn't destroyed. _I'm going to have to just run for it._ Saïx backed up to the door and stared at the glass. _This always works in the movies, hopefully it breaks. Er...maybe I should throw something at it instead? No, I don't have time!_ He ran and jumped. The glass smashed on impact and he tumbled to the ground for what seemed the longest time. He landed on his side and felt something in him snap under the sudden impact, but he ignored it. His legs brought him onto his feet and he started to run for it. _Go faster! They're going to come get me if I don't hurry! What if they're on their way now? Turn somewhere, before they know!_

His foot slipped and he fell, scraping his hands and knees against the hard cement. He pushed himself up and continued to run even though his body was screaming for him to stop. The moonlight shone brightly upon him and he felt his energy override his thoughts. _A right, then a left, go straight, turn left…_ He slowed down as he saw he was in a dead end. _Don't worry, Saïx, just summon a portal. You've never done it, but if you try hard enough I'm sure it'll work._ His thoughts went straight to home and every little detail about it. He fell silent, the power rising within him as they swirled around with thoughts of his house. Two story, wooden, his room upstairs with a big window, a place for him to easily escape—

A noise made him open his eyes. A portal had formed right in front of him. Without hesitation Saïx moved inward…

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I made this chapter a bit long, but that was because the first chapter was short since I wasn't sure whether to continue or not. I'm definitely setting Saïx up for some serious problems, but perhaps Xemnas might go easy on him? I'm still plotting it over.

I hope you guys like this chapter! Please review! Til next time!


	3. Chapter 3

Another chapter for my readers! It's the start of a veeeery tasty adventure. And sorry it took so long. Fanfic kind of...DIED on me for the past few days. I've been trying to upload it for awhile. So yay for working now!

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Xemnas hadn't heard the crashing of glass, nor did he hear the others inquiring about what had happened. He was shut into a different room far across from the incident, studiously working on something. It looked much like a report, but it was all based on Saïx. He had done several on the others, each as detailed as the last. But this one was more on a personal level. Saïx was so very intriguing at how different he was. So very different, that it completely puzzled him. He was acting like he had a heart still, using emotions and feelings even when he had none. How was he able to mimic who he once was so easily? Was it just because his memories fueled him to be that way, or was it much deeper than that? Had the darkness not reaped him completely of who he was? Perhaps…he wasn't a Nobody at all? No, impossible. He wouldn't have found him in The World That Never Was if he wasn't a Nobody. Then how come he acted like a normal human being?

Except…for those powers.

Those powers were fueled by Kingdom Hearts. It made Xemnas wonder…would any type of moonlight suffice? What was the key attachment to the moon, anyway? There had to be something. Everyone had a reason to liking something, which in the end benefited what their powers and weapons were. Was Saïx much more than what he was leading to be?

The door was knocked on and it slid open revealing Xaldin. Xemnas closed the file and raised his eyebrow. What could he want now? Was something wrong? "What is it, III?"

"Saïx has escaped."

Xemnas frowned, how did he do that? He was tied down to the bed. "Escaped? Explain."

"I think you need to take a look at the room, first."

Xemnas rose from his spot and followed Xaldin to Saïx's room. The others were already out there discussing what had happened. All fell silent as Xemnas showed up. He moved in and stared at the mess on the bed. The ropes were cut, blood was everywhere, and the picture frame was smashed all over the bed sheets. His eyes followed to the moving curtains and saw that the entire window was gone. He moved over and glanced out seeing blood and glass on the cement below.

"How did he DO that?"

Xemnas turned and faced the others quizzically. Zexion stepped forward ready to give some type of explanation, "You left him in here by himself, and the rest of us hadn't bothered in coming in. I'm assuming he released a foot first, as most of the blood resides down at this end. He must have knocked the picture frame down and used it to cut the ropes."

Xigbar leaned close to stare at the mess, "How'd he go about doing that?"

"Most likely grabbed the glass with his foot. Some people are talented and can pick things up with their feet!" Vexen informed. "The best bet is he released both of his legs, squeezed through the ropes here since they're untouched besides a few blood splotches from his foot, then he got a piece of glass and cut out his left hand, then reached over and released the right hand with ease."

"He was wearing boots when we tied him down," Xaldin mentioned.

"He musta kicked 'em off then," Xigbar mumbled and paused, "Wait. If his lower half is free but his upper half wasn't, how'd he get the glass in his hand? That's a far reach!"

They all fell silent as they thought about Saïx being…very flexible.

"Nevermind that, we need to find where he went. If you were Saïx, where would you wander off to?" The group glanced at Xemnas and plotted it all over.

"Home," Lexaeus answered.

"He doesn't know how to use portals," Xigbar corrected.

"He might not have before…but with the moon's powers he adapted and learned how to…" Xemnas added and the others sighed. Saïx was a lot trickier than what they were imagining.

"Who should go and retrieve him, Superior?" Xaldin asked as he positioned his arms behind his back.

Xemnas rubbed his bottom lip in contemplation as his eyes went back to the glass and blood below. Who? "Zexion, you'll find him the fastest, you'll search with him. Take…" Xemnas hesitated as he thought it over. Who should go and help? Xaldin would definitely be able to drag him out. "Xaldin. The two of you shall return with him quickly. Use needed force if you have to. Also, take note on whether he reacts to normal moonlight. I wonder if it is only Kingdom Hearts that fuels his energy cravings. If you are in danger or cannot get him back here, come get me quickly."

"Yes, Superior," both replied and disappeared through a portal. Xigbar came forward beside Xemnas and gave his arm a small punch.

"Superior, how are you going to confine someone who doesn't want to be confined? He's a wild beast stuck in a zoo."

"To tame a beast you must first gain its trust. Throw it something it likes and wait."

"Oh? You going to give him dog treats?"

"No, but I could give him a dog."

Xigbar snorted, "You think a pet here in the Organization would be a good thing?"

"I'll do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn't leave again. Wouldn't you, if you were in my situation? Remember what our goal is. Think of how much potential he has if he's on our side. With that temper and the constant energy we could have our hearts back faster than we ever expected."

"I never thought about it that way. It would be nice, but don't you think he'll get the hint that we're just using him? The dude would turn against us."

"Of course he would, that's why we have to make sure he's not just abused and ordered about. Which reminds me…you shouldn't mess around with him so much, he really doesn't like you."

Xigbar pointed at himself, "Me? Eh? What'd I do to him?"

"I'm uncertain, but he's got a grudge against you. I'd advise that you lay low on the tricks for now, hmm?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. He'll have to return first for me to even do anything to him!"

"Of course. I'm certain he will, though, especially with Xaldin and Zexion to take care of him."

"Ha, why'd you even send those two? I'm pretty capable of shootin' him up and draggin' him out of his house."

"Yes, but I don't want him completely hurt. And like I said before, he hates you. What would make him return if he sees your face?"

Xigbar rubbed a boney cheek, "Ha! He's just envious of my devilishly good looks."

Xemnas shook his head, "Oh please…"

"I'm just playing around, Xem, your strategy makes perfect sense. About this room…what are you going to do with it? The place is utterly destroyed, and he's liable to escape through this window space…" Xigbar waved his arm out the window to express what he meant.

"Perhaps give him something better than second best?"

Xigbar thought this over before frowning, "You'd give up your own room to satisfy him? That doesn't seem like you talking, Xem, what are you thinking in that noggin' of yours?"

"I'm wondering what will happen…when he will no longer be able to act the way he does now. What if he forgets how to express and think the way he does? Much like ourselves…we aren't as active or expressive as him because we cannot feel emotions. The overacting tones down and we mellow out. Will the same happen to him?"

"You think him sleeping in your bed is going to make him stop crying about the number 7?"

"If you were given the best treatment ever you'd stop crying."

"I'm not sure. If I kept crying and it kept getting me good things…I'd keep it up."

Xemnas shook his head, "Hopefully he doesn't think that way. Greedy children are reprimanded to the fullest extent, and then they get their toys taken away."

Xigbar opened a portal, "I just imagined baby Saïx crying since you took his lollipop away. You should be nice to kids. They only get to live once." He disappeared with that. Xemnas shook his head. He could imagine the baby, too. Saïx…probably looked cute as a little kid before he got so roughed up. Not that he wasn't bad looking now. His facial scars made him more alluring. What was Xemnas thinking? He needed to get things done!

7777777

Saïx felt himself fall from the sky and crash land into the bushes beside the house. He cursed and hollered at them until he got free. _I hate those damn things. HAAAAATE THEM._ He fixed his cloak better and moved toward the house, glancing up at the sky. The moon and the sun were out, but it was soon to be nighttime. A soft sigh escaped him as he entered the house and let his eyes drag over the familiar place. He had almost forgotten how much stuff was here and there, and yet it was still neat. Wasn't like his mother had anything else to do.

"Mom?"

His voice echoed in the living room. All the lights were off. Slowly he walked through the place and noticed no one was home. Odd, where could they be? His eyes went to the calendar and it registered. They were out drinking again. Another sigh escaped him as he moved up the stairs to his room. The door creaked open and he found it the way it had been before he died. At least…he thought this was how it was…

"Why haven't they touched anything?"

Saïx went about and looked at the messages on his mirror his friends left. His fingers touched them softly, reading through their ridiculous inside jokes. Down below were pictures of his friends. He picked one up, all of them were making ridiculous faces. _That's me?_ He compared his face to the picture by staring at the mirror and then back at the picture. He looked so much…younger and happier in the pictures. Then again, that one didn't have his scars…He threw it down and went about searching for more pictures, flipping through and seeing some. There were a lot of him and some other guy. He had light brown hair that was tinged pink, with bright blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. Who was he? Why couldn't he remember?

Something on the nightstand caught his attention. It was…a Valentine? He picked it up and glanced at it.

_~To my love, because you deserve a crappy Valentine card made by me!~_

_I got a Valentine? I can't read the signature. Who wrote this?_ He moved to sit on the bed when he noticed there were things on it. Saïx went onto his knees and stared closely at the items. Bandages, a bib, a card that said 'Baby's First Haircut!', a few pictures of him throughout his life, and….

He stared at the last thing.

Saïx slowly reached over and plucked it up, staring at the card. _Oh my God…this is to my funeral…_ He stared at the date. There were 7's in it. He flipped it open and read it through quickly, wondering what had happened to him. It didn't say anything. It was so misleading…

He looked at the rest of the things on his bed. Newspaper? He snatched it up and flipped it through, almost dropping it as he saw the article that stuck out at him. _Missing Man's Body Found_. _Holy shit, is that me? How'd I die?_ He glanced through and then noticed it wasn't him. _Oh, thank God, that scared the shit out of me for a minute there. Jeez, missing? I'd never go missing…_ He flipped the next page and found his obituary. It had something dumb in it and didn't say how he died. _Shit, why don't I remember? What was it that killed me?_ He pushed the paper away and stood up, glancing around at the room. He had to have said something or left something behind…

Saïx rushed over to his drawers and ripped them open. His clothes were jammed everywhere and he wasn't even sure if he was digging through clean clothes or not. Hey, sometimes he wore his pants more than once, all right? With some difficulty he fished his hand underneath the piles of clothing and felt something touch his fingers. _Bingo._ He pulled it out and found his journal. _I don't even know why I kept one, but it'll be worth reading._ He heard the door downstairs sound. Slowly he walked over and went out of his room, glancing from the top of the stairs to see who it was. There was Xaldin and Zexion. His power rose in him and he ran back into his room, going through the window and jumping out from the rooftop that was there. He landed on the ground and rolled a bit, finally getting to his feet and dashing for the forest. _I hate the forest, but it's better than them. I have to keep going, they'll get lost in there, right? I know a path to one of my friend's, I'll just go there. He'll understand and help me out, I'm sure._ He reached the forest and glanced back. Xaldin was exiting the house then. His long run made him lose his energetic feeling. _I'm getting so tired…I can hardly breathe. Why am I losing my power now? I need it._

His feet continued to pound against the ground, his body screamed with each step. He had forgotten all of his wounds until now, and the thought made it maximize. _Keep going, we're almost there!_ He found the path and started to run down it, legs stretching farther to make him almost leap instead of run. Soon the forest ended to the house. He saw the light was on. _Yes! Freedom!_ He jumped the fence and went over, hiding under the window to peer in and see what they were doing. His friends were hanging out in a bedroom, throwing cards and food at each other as a horror film played in the background. Saïx grabbed the window and opened it up, all of their faces turned to stare at him. Screaming started to erupt from them all as they scrambled to get away from whatever had just entered. _I was friends with these morons? Jeez…_ Saïx flipped the lights on, "Stop it!"

All of their faces paled at the sight of him. One of them went absolutely hysterical as he screamed and shouted about a ghost.

"I'm not a ghost, I'm alive! Look, I need your help and quickly. I'd explain but there's these freaks after me and I can't exactly stay here very long. Give me a pair of your clothes. You, get the car ready." There was a moment of silence. "DO IT!"

As the two dashed off to do their duties the remaining two continued to stare at him.

"How are you alive?" one finally asked.

"Instead of dying I went somewhere else, and yeah…there's a cult there and they're trying to convert me into some type of odd religious slavery thing."

"But…you were dead in the coffin when we last saw you…"

"Yeah…"

Saïx nodded, "I know, it's…hard to explain." His friend returned with clothes. He stripped quickly and changed, "I don't know how to say it. I died."

"Yeah. We know."

"Well…instead of completely dying I…went into this darkness. It was weird. I forgot everything, even who I was…and then one day I came back into existence, and….now I'm here."

The other friend returned and panted, "Uh. Car is ready."

Saïx nodded, "I'm going to the bar."

"What, why?" the boy with the pink tinged hair said as he rose from his spot.

"I need to see my mom and dad. They weren't at the house when I got there, and I couldn't stay because I'm being followed."

"Oh. Sweet. Uh. Well let's go then, hmm?" one of them, a blonde, had said as he waved for the others to get going. They all piled into the car, Saïx in the driver's seat.

"You know how to drive?"

"I wasn't dead for THAT long….was I?" Saïx asked and the others shook their heads. "Good, maybe I won't freak my mom out so much, then." He revved the motor and drove down the highway as fast as he could. Everyone buckled up as he clearly had no intention of slowing down.

"Jeez, aren't you going a bit fast? The bar isn't that far away."

"Yeah, well I don't want to run into those guys…"

"Who are they, anyway?"

"They're part of the cult. They've got…unnatural powers…"

"Like magic?"

"Yes. Exactly like that."

"This is fucking insane. You're dead but not. They're human but they're magical? I think I smoked too much tonight."

"I wish that was my case…" Saïx let the car coast and glanced at the time, "Shoot."

"What?"

"It's almost 7. I have to hurry."

They all relaxed. It definitely was him, especially when it came to that number…but…his appearance was not only insane, scary, and creepy, but also made them want to hug him and cherish him. It was what everyone wanted. Their dead to come back once more.

7777777

Xaldin frowned as their prey had gotten away. He pointed for Zexion to leave the house. As he came out he was the first one to glimpse Saïx. "He's in the forest."

Zexion nodded, "I smell him. Should we follow?"

"Oh yes. Let's humor him a bit."

Their walk had gone in complete silence, the surrounding area was the only noise that interrupted their silence. They had reached the house when they saw the car zooming off.

"How intriguing," Xaldin hissed, his accent rolling off of his tongue. "I wonder what he was doing in that house?"

Zexion sniffed the air, "He left something behind."

They moved over quietly, entering the small house. Zexion went past a small kid that was in a high chair playing around with play-doh. He opened the door to the bedroom and he frowned, "His clothes."

Xaldin came forward and picked it up, the journal falling out of the pocket. "Oh, something he grabbed at his house." He bent down and picked it up, "It's a journal."

"Dispose of it."

"Wait." Xaldin flipped through it.

"Xaldin, that's personal information. We'll get in trouble for messing around with Saïx's pas—"

"No, we'll give it to Xemnas. He's curious about the guy, right? This could perhaps…reveal all he's wanted to know?"

Their eyes met and Zexion shook his head, "Do as you want, then. But don't get me involved in this."

Xaldin wrapped the journal up in the clothes, "Don't worry, I won't."

7777777

Saïx slowed the car in the parking lot and got out, "Their car's here."

"Man, your mom is going to have a heart attack when she sees you."

Saïx paused and glanced at him, "You…think so?"

"You almost made me shit my pants when I saw you!"

Saïx shrugged, "Yeah, I suppose I'd react the same way if you died and came back to life."

"Amen to that…"

They entered the bar and Saïx turned his head this way and that to find his mom and dad. Curiously he walked around through the place and soon his eye caught the couple sitting in the darkest corner smoking and drinking. For some reason…he didn't feel overjoyed or relieved. He…felt nothing. He tried to ignore this and he rushed over, grabbing his mom's hands, "Mom!"

His mother dropped her cigarette and stared at him, taking in his features. "W-Who…are you?"

"Mom, it's me….I'm your kid…" _I don't remember my name, but bear with me on this one._

She stood up and turned him so she could see his face, her hands touching his face, "How…but…you…"

His father stood up, grabbing her shoulders, "This isn't a joke, is it?"

Saïx shook his head, "No, I'm actually alive." His mom pulled him close and kissed his face. Once again he felt as if this love he was receiving, this care and rejoice for his life…was unfelt. Not a twinge of hurt or pain touched his heart, nor did happiness. He felt nothing.

"My baby…my only baby…" his mom whispered softly to him as their embrace continued, the others stood by watching the scene in silence. The door slammed open and all of them turned to see Xaldin and Zexion standing there.

"Saïx, there you are."

Saïx looked down at his mom, "Mom, I came here to tell you I'm all right, okay? But I'm not sure how long I can stay…but I'll visit you again, okay?"

She shook her head, "Don't leave me again, please…"

Xaldin smiled, "What's the matter, Saïx? Not ready to leave? That's a pity. But do they know who you really are now?"

Saïx's father glared, "Why is he calling you that? Who are you? What do you want with our son?"

Zexion flicked his hair slightly, "Your son is dead."

"No he's not!"

"Yes, he is. That person right there is nothing but a shell of what used to be your son. Now let him go and let him return to where he belongs. He'll only bring you pain and suffering if you keep him."

Saïx snarled, "You don't even know what you're talking about!"

Xaldin laughed, "Really? Then perhaps we'll show them what you've become." He lifted his hands and the roof started to crack and lift up, wind picked up and almost knocked them all over. As the roof ripped off the moonlight landed on them all. "Tell me, Saïx, what really bothers you? The fact that you don't belong, or the fact that you know you don't belong? Perhaps you should say goodbye to your friends and family now before you change into that loathsome beast…"

Saïx shook his head, "Whatever you're doing isn't going to work on me."

The bartender, finally arriving from his back room with his gun, pulled it up and aimed to fire at Zexion and Xaldin. Zexion flicked his hand and his book appeared, pages flung out and absorbed him. "Perhaps we should kill his family?"

Saïx pushed his mom behind him and got in front, "Don't you dare. You stay away from them, you hear me? Just because you don't have memories of your past…doesn't mean you deserve to destroy mine."

Xaldin grabbed one of his lances, "I say we kill his mother first."

Zexion nodded, "Good choice."

His mom gasped and held onto her husband, "What's going on? Why are they saying these things?"

The pink-haired boy stepped forward, "Back off, guys, you don't need to involve innocent people in this. Especially his mother."

"I think we've found our new target," Zexion whispered and flicked his hands. The boy disappeared and reappeared in Xaldin's hands. A lance floated right at his throat.

Saïx felt the power surge, the tension of his muscles, his vision blurring. He let out a beastly snarl and felt himself change again, weapon coming out as he prepared for the attack. His mom screamed, his friends ran for it, and the entire place soon erupted in a fight.

When Saïx was done he fell to his knees, weapon disappearing as it landed before him. He was breathing hard, gasping for air.

Xaldin was breathing a bit harder than normal, but it wasn't much of a difference. "Now do you all see? He's not what he used to be."

Zexion closed his book, "Are you ready to come home now?"

Saïx continued his haggard breathing before glancing over at his parents. They twitched and hid their faces as soon as he landed his eyes on them. "Mom…?"

She shook her head and his dad frowned, "You're not our son anymore…"

Saïx stared at him in disbelief. Why…why…

Xaldin walked over, boots hitting the hardwood floor. He stopped in front of Saïx and pulled him to his feet. A portal swirled beside them and he was dragged through. The last thing he saw was everyone turning their eyes away from him…as if pretending he had never returned.

7777777

Saïx felt them arrive somewhere dark. His eyes tried to adjust but something hit him and he fell on the floor. A hiss escaped his mouth and he heard Xaldin laugh. "He said we could rough you up a bit before we return you. Don't take this personally, Saïx, it's just part of business."

He felt lances stab into him and he let out a scream. A fist silenced him as he could hardly catch his breath. Punch after punch continued onto him, kicking and stabbing. At one point he couldn't even register that he was getting hurt anymore. Finally he fell over in a pool of his own blood, coughing as he had blood stuck in his throat.

"You shouldn't have left, Saïx, this wouldn't have to happen. That's all right, we'll just close you off from them. Not like they cared, hmm? They gave you up so easily. I guess that happens when you're a no good beast."

Saïx glared at Xaldin and felt himself get pulled to his feet, "You're going to be good now, aren't you? I hope so. Xemnas doesn't like the disobedient types." A portal was made and they entered into a study, Xemnas was sitting there writing when he jumped up at the sight of them.

"Heavens, he's a mess. I didn't think you'd have to go all out."

"He went rabid."

"So any type of moonlight works, it seems. Good work, I hope you didn't have to go to any extremes…"

"No, he was the only one that overreacted."

"Did he come into contact with anyone?"

"Yes, a few people actually."

Xemnas sighed, "Not good. We'll have to deal with that—"

Saïx snarled, "I'm going to kill you."

Xemnas stared at Saïx, "Me?"

"You've ruined me."

"I didn't do a thing to you. Saïx, you belong here with us. You are very important to the Organization—"

"I'm important to no one. I'll always be nothing."

Xemnas sighed and pointed at Zexion, "Write down descriptions of whoever he ran into. We'll deal with that later. Xaldin, take him to my room."

Xaldin frowned, "He'll destroy your room if you let him in there."

"Possibly, but his room doesn't have a window anymore. I'll retrieve Vexen, we'll drug him for a bit."

Xaldin nodded and paused, "Here's his clothes…" he pushed them into Xemnas before he lugged Saïx over his shoulder and carried him off. Xemnas moved to set them down when he felt something hard inside. He hesitated and lifted up the confines to see a book. He glanced around a bit and then opened it.

"His journal?"

Xemnas thought this over. He shouldn't read it…but…

Quickly he pocketed it and moved off to find Vexen.

7777777

"Xemnas," Xigbar entered the room. It had been a few days since Saïx's excursion. He saw the blue-haired figure was still asleep in the Superior's bed in the same position he was in last time he came in. Xemnas slowly closed the book he was reading and set it down, rising to face Xigbar.

"Yes, II?"

"We're starting to see signs of a possible new member arriving."

"Excellent." Xemnas glanced at Saïx and noticed he was as dead as a rock. He could leave him here. "Let me see these findings." They both exited the room and it fell back into its previous silence. Saïx's eyes opened and he got up, going over to the bathroom. God. He didn't think Xemnas would ever leave. _Now to really give him something to think about._ His eyes went over to the bathtub. Could Nobodies be killed? They weren't really existing, so something that doesn't exist can't die…

Worth a shot, though.

Saïx glanced at himself in the mirror and fixed his hair a bit before turning the water on in the bathtub. The bathroom looked really nice, what with the extension for other luxurious things. If Xemnas couldn't feel pleasure why did he need all of these things? A weird rack that had statues on it really caught his attention. His hand reached out and picked up a gargoyle figurine. _Jesus, this thing is heavy! Oho…heavy? I think I have some use for you, my little friend…_

Xemnas and Xigbar, on the other hand, had stopped as they thought they heard a bathtub running. "Strange, do you hear that?"

Xigbar nodded, "Yeah, whose taking a bath?"

"I don't know."

Xigbar frowned, "Everyone else is waiting for you—"

Xemnas sighed. "I'll be right back, tell them I'm on my way."

"Didn't you chain him up?"

"Yes, but who knows what other tricks he has up his sleeves? Don't worry, I'm sure he doesn't have enough energy to do much anyway."

"All right…" Xigbar vanished and appeared floating above the table, "He's coming."

Vexen frowned, "What's he doing that's so important?"

"His bathtub started running as we were leaving and he went to go check what was going on."

Zexion sniffed slightly, "Saïx turned it on."

Xaldin grumbled, "I thought he chained up that idiot?"

"He obviously escaped," Vexen pointed out. "Wouldn't be a surprise, though, he did it once he'll obviously do it again."

Xigbar shrugged, "I doubt it'll take him long to get in here to give us the details. Besides, how powerful can Sleeping Beauty be?"

Xemnas entered his room and did hear the tub was running. As he glanced at the bed he noticed it was empty, the shackles he had used were open. How did he do these things? Slowly he moved for the bathroom, entering the place cautiously.

Saïx entered behind him and smashed the gargoyle on Xemnas' head, the statue cracked on impact and soon fell into pieces. A loud 'thunk' came from each piece as they hit the floor, while Xemnas moved and grabbed his head. That really hurt. As soon as he faced Saïx he was grabbed and smashed against the wall, the rack of items fell and crashed loudly on the ground. Saïx threw Xemnas into the tub and the water splashed up and over the sides. He jumped on top of him, getting his claws around his throat to try and strangle and drown him at the same time.

Down below everyone heard the noises. They sat quietly and waited to see who wanted to speak up about it.

"Sounds kind of heated," Xigbar mentioned and then heard the loud crashing.

"Perhaps someone should look?" Zexion suggested.

No one volunteered. Lexaeus finally stood up, "I'll be back." He vanished through a portal and soon appeared in the bathroom. There was Saïx strangling a flailing person, who he could only assume was Xemnas. Without much warning he reared back a giant fist and hit Saïx, smashing the man's head into the wall. Blood smeared where he hit and Saïx snarled in agony. A pulsating headache started to come over him along with a tingling of power, though not enough to put to good use against someone like Lexaeus. Xemnas, as soon as Saïx had let go, emerged from the water and gasped for breath. A coughing fit started to come from him as he had swallowed a lot of the water.

Lexaeus grabbed Saïx and threw him down onto the ground, stepping on his chest to keep him from getting anywhere. "Xemnas, are you all right?"

Xemnas coughed a bit more before nodding, "Oh. Fine. Dandy." A few more coughs escaped him before he waved his hand, "Put him someplace safe, would you?"

Safe? Lexaeus dragged the struggling boy before he saw an open safe in Xemnas' room. Hey, that was safe, right? He crammed Saïx in and closed it, letting the lock whirl a few times before returning to help Xemnas. "Need help?"

Xemnas rose and shook his head, "No, I'm fine. Let's…get this meeting over with before we do anything else, hmm?"

Lexaeus opened a portal and they went through. Everyone stared as their soaking wet Superior dragged himself into the room and sat in his chair. "All right. You said you found a new member, correct?"

"Xemnas, what did he do to you?"

"We will discuss that later, VI, right now we have something very important on our hands."

Xaldin nodded, "Zexion's picked up a new scent. Not very strong, yet, but it's coming around. I believe it may be our 8th member."

Xemnas smiled, "Excellent! Our Organization is growing faster than I expected."

"Our only concern is that he may get lost to the darkness if we don't act soon, Superior," Xigbar pointed out. Xemnas nodded, that was always the case it seemed. They weren't even sure if they would acquire Saïx, but the man surfaced a lot faster than what they predicted. Would it be the same for their next member, or would it prove to be much more difficult than what they had experienced?

"There is always room for doubt, but nonetheless we will wait for the opportune time. We only want the strongest, after all. Those who are too weak will not stand trial and will fade away as they should."

Vexen puzzled this over before speaking, "Perhaps there will be another member after this one…can we nab him early even if he may be of weak stature? I want to see if this is correct. I think we can get them early and still have them strong and worthy."

Xemnas let it roll over in his mind. Should he risk it? Not that it could hurt them or anything. "All right. I'll let you do that."

Vexen's eerie smile spread across his sickening face, "Why thank you, Superior!"

"All right, so now can we discuss why you look like a drowned rat?" Xigbar asked and the others agreed.

Xemnas sighed, "I went back in to see what was going on because the bathtub was running. Saïx came up behind me and smashed something on my head, tried to strangle me, and then followed through with drowning me. Thankfully Lexaeus came in before he could actually finish the job, though it would have been nicer if you came earlier. I think I inhaled more water than I should have."

"So where is he now?"

Xemnas glanced over at Lexaeus, "Yes, where did you put him?"

"In your safe."

Everyone fell silent and tried to imagine how uncomfortable and cramped that would be. Vexen let out a few chuckles before Xemnas groaned.

"Something wrong?"

"I don't know the combination for that safe, that's why I leave it open."

Silence fell over all of them before Zexion piped up, "Anyone know how to crack open a safe?"

Vexen smiled, "I could freeze it and perhaps the metal would crack?"

Xemnas shook his head, "It's pretty thick, and I doubt he'd appreciate that."

"Superior, he strangled you, man, he deserve to get a frostbit bottom!"

"He's all wet, though, that would be extremely uncomfortable. Even if I was almost killed…if I could be killed."

"Can we make it a challenge and see who can open the safe first?" Xaldin asked and everyone else perked up. Oho, they loved doing challenges to see who had the best strategy.

"I don't know…"

"PLEEEEASSSEEE?" erupted from all of them.

"Fine fine."

"Yay!"

"But do be careful. If it's just to hurt him then you can't do it. Otherwise…there are no rules!"

Zexion stood up, "Everyone has 10 minutes to prepare a few plans. You can only try one out. Whoever gets him out first wins!"

The entire group vanished to go work on their plans while Xemnas came back into the room. He heard Saïx's muffled screams and pounding coming from the safe and he walked over, bending down to face it. "Saïx?"

"Get me out of here!"

"Calm down, we're going to."

"Hurry up, I can hardly breathe."

"Then again…perhaps we won't let you out?"

Silence.

"You did, after all, try and kill me. In fact, you deliberately disobeyed me. You left when I told you not to, you didn't return, you escaped when you shouldn't have, and now this. Perhaps you're better off in there?"

"Xemnas, don't even say that."

"Why shouldn't I? It's all true."

"You….wouldn't even understand…"

"Hmm."

"If you get me out you can do whatever you want to me, all right?"

"What if I want you to stay in the safe?"

"Besides that!!"

"I'll think about that. Whatever I want…hmm…" He got up and plotted before he moved to the desk with the journal. It had on a book cover he stole from the library. It fit perfectly, except for the fact that it screamed 'GREAT HOMOSEXUAL SEX: A GAY MAN'S BEST SECRETS REVEALED'. At least he knew no one would want to pick it up, though.

The group arrived soon and all had smug faces on. "Take it outside, I need to clean up the mess that's in my bathroom. Come back when you've opened it."

They left with the portal and Xemnas went to his bathroom to fix it. He sighed at the giant mess. Half his stuff was destroyed and covered in water.

About 20 minutes later while he was drying the floor and throwing the last bit of chunks in the garbage he heard someone portal into his room. "So who won?" He came out and glanced at the group curiously. No one spoke up. "Well?"

Zexion stepped forward, "No one did. Xigbar shot at it, Xaldin tried to slice it open, Vexen dumped ineffective acid on it, Lexaeus dented it with his tomahawk, and I tried figuring out the combination. We all failed."

Xemnas stared at them, "Well then I suppose I'll have to try."

Xigbar scratched his head. "Xemnas, I don't know, it really is tough."

"Yes, but I just remembered something that I should have thought of before. Where's the safe?"

They moved out of the way to show the well mangled safe. Seemed Xemnas would not be using that ever again. He came forward and pushed it onto its side, glancing at the bottom. He traced the bottom slowly with his finger and then pried it open. There were a few metal contraptions and he pulled on one, the lock made a clicking noise. Xigbar grabbed the door and opened it. Everyone peered in at Saïx.

"You still alive?" Xigbar asked as he poked Saïx's leg.

"I hate all of you."

"Yup, he's fine." Everyone moved back to let him out. Grudgingly Saïx stood up and climbed out of the safe, glaring at them all.

"Man, I didn't know we beat him up that much. He looks like he lost weight or something," Xigbar mumbled and gave Saïx's stomach a jab. Saïx slapped his hand away and snarled. Yes, snarled. _I deserve to show my ugly side! These people don't know when to leave me alone!_

"You've STARVED me for more than 10 days!"

They all fell silent. They did that?

"Especially YOU!" His finger pointed at Xemnas, "I don't know what you're up to, but I'm not going to let you get away with it."

Xemnas stared, "What are you talking about?"

"You've chained me to your BED! What's WRONG with you??"

Xemnas nodded, "You're dangerous. You escaped the ropes I thought chains would be better."

Saïx winced. _Oh god. The images._ "I don't know what you've done to me when I was passed out—"

"Are you insinuating something?"

"YES."

The other members tried to keep straight faces but couldn't keep it in much longer. They all started to laugh, even if they really couldn't feel it.

"Dude, Xemnas, he's saying you got jiggy with him while he's been out."

Xemnas shook his head, "That would be such a terrible thing to do. I wouldn't even feel the pleasure in it."

Saïx thought that over and gave a disgusted face, "So you're saying you would have if you could feel pleasure?"

More laughs came from the others. Xemnas shook his head, "That's not what I was saying at all, don't put words into my mouth."

Saïx grumbled, "You'd like that too much."

Xigbar let out a loud snort and Xemnas shot him a 'don't go there' look. "Why don't you get something to eat, clean up, and then we'll talk when you're being less—"

Saïx glared, "Less what? There's nothing wrong with me."

Zexion shook his head, "You should stop being such a bitch."

Xemnas glared, "Zexion, that isn't very nice—"

"I can't help it. He's like a dumb animal. He craves attention and then gets all snappy when he doesn't get what he wants."

Saïx growled, "Watch what you say about me—"

"What are you going to do? You can't even control your powers. You don't even know what they are, besides that you turn into a mutt."

Xemnas stepped in-between to intervene, "I was going to explain his abilities to him once he settled down."

Zexion rolled his eyes, "Hard to do that when he's so moody. Which is odd considering he's as lifeless as the rest of us."

Xemnas coughed slightly and everyone fell silent. They knew what that meant. "Everyone leave. Saïx, stay."

As they moved out Xemnas glanced over at them. "Zexion." Zexion hesitated in his steps. "Don't do that ever again." Zexion didn't respond, only continued to walk as if the warning meant nothing. Xemnas than turned to Saïx and pointed at the bathroom, "Get cleaned."

"But I'm hung—"

"I'll go get you food and clothes. Get cleaned."

Saïx watched Xemnas move off and he slowly went to the bathroom. Why didn't he just leave right now? Of course he'd end up getting caught, drugged, and tied to a bed in some form or other. So there was obviously no point. _I hate my life._ As he showered he thought over the entire incident and then released he had left his journal with the clothes he had changed out of at his friend's house. _Oh shit, did Xaldin take that? Or did he give it to Xemnas? What if it fell out of my pocket into the room? Someone's bound to have it…oh no. I don't even remember half the things I put in there! What if they're really personal?_ Saïx slapped his hand to his face. _God I'm a fucking idiot._

While this was going on Xemnas had retrieved the food and clothes without problem, returning to the room and setting them down gently on a table. He picked up the journal and started to read through it while Saïx was in the shower. A lot of it seemed really deep down and depressing, actually. His household was filled with tension and sorrow, his father being rather rough and unfair to him while his mother lacked any personality or happiness. He was very clingy, though, it seemed he was always trying to snatch attention from them or his friends. They all had nicknames, too, which made it more interesting than he thought possible. There was Flower, Scotch, Arab, and Noid. Each name resembled their pictures that he had taped in there. Flower had blue eyes with light brown hair which was tinged pink. A pretty boy if Xemnas were to categorize him. Scotch was pictured holding alcohol, and his cheeks were rosy. Arab had a dark tan and a scraggily beard, even though he didn't have the correct eye or hair color to be an Arab. And Noid looked…paranoid. The one that seemed to interest Saïx the most was Flower for some reason. A lot of his entries were times with him. In one of them he pointed out that 'Flower is the only one who really gives me the attention I've always wanted without being cruel about it. He doesn't pity me because of who I am'. There were also a lot of encounters with 7, which caused Xemnas even to feel more alert on the number. Who knew that he had this much history with the number?

He opened to the next entry he had to read. It was January 1st.

'_I've spent an entire year filled with terrible luck, and I'm prepared for more 7 adventures in the future. Gah, I should not be dwelling on that retarded number anymore, but it always comes back to haunt me. Like it will in a few days. Aside from that, I had friends over last night for the New Year. It isn't often that I allow people over, but they wanted to have a bigger party than what we normally do. So I lied to my parents, because they're bitchy, and pulled a few strings to get the party to be at my house. We had lots to drink, and when I say lots I mean Scotch supplied us with enough liquor to kill all of our livers before the New Year could even start. I'm pretty sure Arab was stoned before he even stepped foot in my house, and it didn't help that the entire night he spent smoking away his leftovers, saying he was quitting for the New Year (again). Noid brought hand sanitizer (seriously) and said he was finally getting rid of his fear of germs. Unfortunately Scotch taunted him about rubbing his dick all over the alcohol before he brought them in, so that resolution was quickly defeated. Flower told me he didn't want to make a resolution because he felt that what he was doing was right. I kind of wished his resolution was to spend more time with friends, and when I say friends I mean myself. But that was kind of my resolution. To forget everything and be with my friends. Then again, I'm always with them, so that resolution was basically made just to sound like I was participating with everyone else. Scotch was too intoxicated to make one, so we decided that he'd resolve to get a boob job before July. Either that or he'd get it in July on the 7__th__, come visit me, and basically make me piss myself on that terrible day. Eeeugh, stupid 7's._

_Anyway, there was something that happened that basically made my New Year worth it. All of the worries, pain, and misery were wiped away as soon as that ball dropped. The boys were passed out in my room while Flower and I sat out on the rooftop watching the forest below. I remember that full moon shining down on us as a few flakes of snow cascaded from the night sky. I had said "Beautiful," out loud while I was watching him. "The moon? It is gorgeous." I heard the countdown start at 10 while I shook my head, "No, not the moon." He finally looked at me and I could literally feel my heart jump to my throat. I don't even know what made me say it, or even gave me the confidence to do it, but I had to tell him. "You are." That smile that I've grown to adore and crave for came right across his face, and the countdown hit 1. We kissed. I've never experienced such energy like that, and I knew it all came from him. The one person that I've really fallen in love with.'_

Xemnas stared at the journal. He wasn't sure whether to be…glad that his New Year was well or disturbed at the fact that VII was…gay. He glanced through it once more and heard the shower stop. Quickly he put his bookmark in place and shoved it away in the drawer. Xemnas rose and knocked on the bathroom door, "Your clothes are out here."

"What about my food?"

"Yes, that too."

After a few minutes Saïx came out in just a towel and glanced over, eyes locking on the food. He walked over and sat down, eating instead of dressing. Xemnas watched him careful but couldn't stop thinking about what the journal had revealed to him. Unless Flower was secretly a girl, VII was clearly gay. But what was odd….

"So, Saïx, we have quite a few things to talk about."

Saïx glanced away from his food that he was eating and raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"About your weapon and your element."

"Oh yeah, tell me!"

Xemnas sat down and glanced at the bare thigh that Saïx had revealing. He brought his eyes up and watched him chow down, the man hadn't noticed he had looked. Probably a good thing, right? "Your weapon is a claymore, it looks like this," Xemnas pulled over a file and revealed it to him. It was a photocopy of the one Vexen had given him. He always kept two of everything!

Saïx picked up the paper and glanced at it, "Hmm. Looks spiffy. How do I use it?"

"I'm not sure, I haven't seen you in battle for very long."

"Oh. Well, what about my element?"

"Your element is the power to absorb moonlight and use it as energy. When you reach a max point you enter into 'Berserk' mode, which is basically when you feel like you have no control over your body. Once that max point is drained down, you have to regain energy again. You can continuously fight, I assume, without resting."

Saïx stopped eating as this was finally explained to him. That was probably why Xaldin ripped the roof off of the bar, to let the moonlight shine on him. No wonder…

"How am I going to control it?"

"We've asked that ourselves many times, but we have no answer. My best guess is that overtime when you've used it more often and have learned to fight better that you will be able to control yourself and your abilities."

Saïx picked up his drink and sipped at it before setting it down, "I'm kind of afraid to use my powers."

"How so? You've improved already."

"How would you know? You haven't seen me in battle."

Xemnas frowned, "Xaldin explained everything. He said that after you had gone berserk you were still awake, correct?"

"Oh…yeah."

"See? I call that an improvement from passing out."

"I guess." Saïx finished his food and sighed, "What else did you want to talk about?"

"Well, considering the moon ties into your powers, I was curious as to why that was so? Something from your past life had to make the connection. Were you fond of the moon?"

Saïx thought hard on it. Was he fond of the moon? He had a lot of experiences at night, but did that make it a connection? "I'm not sure. I was definitely a nighttime person rather than a daytime one, though."

"I see. Any special events that might have happened?"

"Well…there was a full moon out when my dog died."

"Uh…oh."

"Other than that I can't really remember."

Xemnas nodded. Perhaps he needed a push to remember this Flower person? Especially that specific night. "That's fine. Did you have a relationship?"

Saïx winced and frowned, "Why do you want to know?"

"Curiosity. I don't know a lot about you, I do know a lot about the others, though."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I wasn't with anyone. With my luck they probably died on the 7th or something. Like myself."

"You remember when you died?"

"When I was at my house I saw the card on my bed." Saïx paused and remembered the Valentine, "Wait. I remember something."

"What?"

_Should I say it or just drop it? Why not make something up? Why even lie? I won't remember what I lied about. Not like saying someone sent me a Valentine would strike as a great conversation anyway._ "Someone gave me a Valentine."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It said something like 'to my love, because you deserve a crappy Valentine' or something. I don't know, it was sitting with the rest of my stuff. I'm guessing one of my friends gave it to me as a joke."

"Friends."

_I think its funny when he says one word in that deep tone of his and it sounds so creepy and stalkerish. I wonder if I could get him to say 'butter' and make it sound like a pedophile is out to get my spread._ "I saw them, too. I'm….a little lost on the names, but I remember their faces really well."

"Do you remember anything in particular about them? Perhaps…I don't know…habits they have or ways that they dressed?"

Saïx looked stumped. He played with some of his wet hair and shook his head, "I don't remember. One said he smoked pot, or at least something along those lines. And I noticed one was twitchy and scared. The other two there isn't much to describe. One has pinkish hair and the other had really red cheeks."

"Did they call you by name or call themselves by any names?"

Saïx shook his head, "No. Oh, I remember what I just forgot." _I'm doing that a lot lately._ "I picked up something from my room and put it in my cloak pocket, but when I changed clothes I forgot to take it out. I'm not sure if Xaldin picked it up or not, or if it got to you…or perhaps I left it at my friend's house."

Xemnas frowned, "What was it?"

"A book."

"I don't believe he gave me a book. It was just your clothes."

"Oh…okay. Well, did it look like he was carrying one?"

"I don't think he was, but I could always inquire him about it."

Saïx nodded, "Yeah. Well. If he does can you get it for me? And. Um. Don't read it."

Xemnas' eyebrow arched, "Why? What's wrong with the book?"

"Nothing, it just has a lot of inside jokes and crap in it that would just be really awkward for someone outside of the group to read." _Because that doesn't make me sound paranoid._ "Ahem. If it had anything important in it I'd probably tell you."

"You would? That would be nice. If I happen to find it I'll make sure you get it, then."

Saïx smiled. _Ahaha, I'd never tell you anything my journal talks about. You'd probably think I'm a freak. Hell, I'd probably think I'm a freak myself!_ "I'm going to change now." Saïx stood up and dropped his towel. _Oh yes, Xemnas, I want to test you._ Xemnas, as soon as landing eyes on what Saïx had done, turned his head and covered his eyes.

"You have no decency."

"I actually remember that I like sleeping in bed naked. So—"

"You are NOT sleeping in my bed naked. Get some clothes on!"

Saïx put on some underwear, "How's about now? Is this enough?" Xemnas glanced and sighed. Was he trying to be difficult?

"Put some pants on, too."

Saïx sighed, "But I have no energy to do so."

"Then go stand by the window."

"Which reminds me, I still need to figure out WHO dressed me the day I came here."

"You're still thinking about that?"

"Wouldn't you find it a bit creepy to wake up and you're wearing all new clothes? Like. All clothes. Even your underwear is changed."

Xemnas laughed and smiled, "You amuse me."

"You can't even feeeeel amused." Saïx mocked Xemnas. The man normally talked slower than most people, exaggerating certain words at times.

"Indeed."

Like that.

"I'm…going to sleep. Unless you wanted to bug me some more. I'm so tired."

"The window is over there if you need energy."

"Shut up. Your bed is more comfortable than basking my half naked body in the moonlight. Though I'm sure you enjoy watching me bathe in the night's gorgeous light."

"I wouldn't know, I've never seen you do it before."

Saïx got in bed and pulled on the chains, "Seriously, though. Chains to the bed?"

Xemnas let a smile come across his face, "What, you don't like it kinky?"

Silence. Xemnas glanced over and Saïx was giving him a disgusted look. He was getting that quite a lot lately. "I was only making a joke. Go to bed, Princess."

"Whatever you do don't kiss me to wake me up. I'm not nice when I'm bothered."

As soon as Saïx had gone into a restful slumber Xemnas picked up the journal and started to read through the rest of it. He wanted to know more about Saïx. This boy was interesting and so complex. Did he know about his sexuality or had this new life shut it out? The next entry was on the 8th of January. Oh, it had to be about the 7th. He was already picking up on the pattern.

'_I thought about spending yesterday in bed not moving or breathing. It was the 7__th__, so of course I didn't want to even think about getting out of bed, let alone doing anything with anyone. But before I could even open my eyes and prepare to be awake all night I got a call from Flower. Of course I answered, completely dropping all my fears as he said he wanted to spend the night. Luckily my parents were out drinking (agaaaain) so I told him to hurry up and arrive. I cleaned up (for once my shower did not explode on me and cause me a concussion!) and found him waiting on my bed for me. Thing was I hadn't brought any clothes into the bathroom with me, so I was just in a towel. "I didn't know that I was supposed to come wearing nothing. You should have warned me." As soon as he said that I felt so turned on. So we've only been going out for a few days, but…I feel like it's been long enough to express what I really want. I didn't want to seem like I was just dating him for sex, because that's clearly not my intention. So I brought it up on whether he wanted to or not. He had his clothes off before I could even finish my sentence. I've never felt so much pleasure in my life. Once we started we couldn't stop. I tasted every inch of his body, and I can still taste and smell him on me. Even my hips are sore from grinding hard into him, feeling his every single move and breath each time I drove inward. My lips are bruised and bitten thanks to how long we kissed. But the sore muscles and tender skin were worth it. I think that was the best 7 I've ever had. Ever. And if I could, I'd do it all over again, except I'd make him come over earlier so he could shower with me.'_

Xemnas glanced over at the slumbering figure, imagining him with this Flower guy. His mind knew that they probably liked each other a lot. In a way, it made him feel angry. Well, at least remember how it felt like. He wished he could remember if he had a passionate night with someone.

Why even remember it? Maybe he should make it a reality?

His eyes went back over to Saïx. What was he even thinking? That was way out of line. Saïx wasn't the way he used to be, and if he did anything with him the others would probably find out. He couldn't sacrifice the Organization for a one night stand. Besides, he wouldn't feel any pleasure in it, so why bother?

He let out a soft sigh and turned to the next page. It was all about sex. Sex with Flower here, sex with Flower there, everywhere. It was like reading porn or something. He noticed the journal stopped on June 28th and didn't go any further. Must have been because he died in July…

Did Saïx ever mention how he died? It didn't seem he knew, or else it would have been leaked out by now. Perhaps he could look into it? No, he shouldn't. Getting involved in someone's past was bad, especially since he already violated the code…

Zexion entered and handed a list to Xemnas, "The people he encountered."

Xemnas glanced through it and noticed Flower's description was in there. "Kill them all." He handed it back and Zexion took the list, hesitating at the order. "What?"

"What if he returns to see them?"

"He's not allowed."

"Xemnas….if he finds out he will show no mercy. I think there's a better way to go about doing this…" He pulled out another piece of paper, "Manipulate him to do it."

Xemnas took the note and looked at it, "Do you think he'd follow through with this?"

"He's very dependable on people, I think if you coaxed him to be your 'friend' he'd fall right into it."

Xemnas nodded, "You're right. Fine. Keep an eye out on those people, though, I don't want anything being brought out about us."

"Yes, Superior." Zexion turned and glanced over at Saïx, the figure still asleep. "Are you envious of him?"

Xemnas set the note down in the journal, covering up the handwriting, "Envious."

"Yes…he remembers so much…he is so emotional and acts as if he really feels all of those things…it's almost as if he's not one of us."

"I'm not envious."

Zexion blinked and turned to look at Xemnas, "Why not?"

"In time he will lose that cheerful demeanor as he realizes the truth…realizes that he feels nothing. His memory will mean nothing to him as he cannot enjoy the thoughts about remembering them. As he starts to lose everything it will only make him cold and heartless, like the rest of us. I would rather be myself and wake up realizing I have no memories rather than have them and lose them in a slow and tedious process."

"I see…I suppose I should think that way as well."

Xemnas nodded, "Indeed."

Zexion moved from the Superior's room and left the two alone. As the hours passed on Xemnas stayed awake and worked away at copying Saïx's handwriting into a few more journal entries. He had to time the dates correctly, but each occurrence would make perfect sense. First his parents would throw him out, his friends would abandon him, and this 'Flower' figure would be caught cheating on him. It would have to upset Saïx once he got his journal back…

Dramatic….

But effective. Zexion's note had already explained ways to help him. Though the boy did not know any parts of Saïx's past, he was good at coming up with events he could easily use. There were also suggestions on how to help satisfy Saïx's mood swings. After going over the list he had noticed the others had probably been a part of sharing ideas. 'Therapy' would definitely be something Vexen would say about the crazed fiend.

Xemnas wondered if he could even talk to Saïx like that. The man was so stubborn, doing a therapy session would be grueling. Not to mention Saïx seemed really jittery. As if he had an impulse to move around and do things. Would he calm down, much like a puppy warming up to a new home? He hoped so…

His eyes went to the time and a small sigh escaped him. Tomorrow he'd give Saïx his journal and at least try to better understand the boy while trying out the suggestion list.

He locked them away in his drawer and prepared for bed. Slowly he got down on his side of the bed and got comfortable, letting the night loom over him so that he could sleep…

It had only been a few hours of night when the moon shone into the room and landed on Saïx, causing him to gain energy quickly. He awoke and became restless. Sleeping wasn't working because he had too much energy now. A small sigh escaped him and the man turned, noticing Xemnas sleeping all the way over on the other side of the bed. Wow, this bed WAS huge, he hadn't ran into him at all.

….Saïx crawled over and shook the sleeping figure, "Xemnas? Xemnas? Hey, Xemnas?" but his words and motions didn't seem to affect him. Saïx got closer, wondering if he just wasn't putting enough force into it? This time he grabbed onto Xemnas's shoulder and gave a nice tug, but the Superior didn't wake up. Finally he crawled on top of Xemnas and grabbed onto his arms, giving him a rough shake, "Xemnas!"

Xemnas groaned and turned his head away, as if dismissing the rude awakening.

Saïx rolled his eyes and put his face next to Xemnas's, "Hey Xemnas, hey Xemnas, hey Xemnas, hey Xemnas, hey Xemnas, hey Xemnas—"

Xemnas sighed and opened his eyes, getting a rather close view of Saïx's face, "Dear God!" He tried to move away but found himself under Saïx's weight, "What do you want? What are you doing?"

"I'm bored. You should entertain me."

"What are you, a child? Go away…I'm sleeping."

"I'm reallllly bored."

"Saïx, it's still nighttime….go to bed."

"But I'm wide awake."

Xemnas looked over at where Saïx had been asleep, the moonlight was spread across the empty bed. Of course. "Close the curtains, do a few sit ups and get back in bed."

Saïx put his face near Xemnas's again, "I don't want to sleep."

"Please, let's not be so close."

"Uncomfortable?"

"I wish that was the word to describe this feeling."

"You can't feel." Saïx paused and frowned, "Wait, what else would you be feeling? Turned on?"

"Hardly."

"You mean hard. Get it?"

"Pleeeeeeeaaase, I want to sleep."

Xemnas squirmed and turned on his back, hiding his face in his pillow. Saïx leaned closer and blew gently on Xemnas's neck, watching the man flinch and pull his head below the pillow. "You can't hide from me." Saïx lifted Xemnas's shirt and let his cold hands grace his flesh. He was satisfied in watching the Superior leap up and face him.

"Saïx!"

"What?"

"What do you want?"

"Your spot."

Xemnas stared at him for a few minutes before groaning and lying back down, "Good night."

"I said I wanted your spot."

"Is that all you want, or is there more to it than that?"

"What else would there be?"

Xemnas hid his head back under the pillow. After a few minutes Saïx pulled it off, "Xemnas, answer me."

"Answer you about what?"

"What do you mean 'is there more to it than that?' What are you talking about?"

"Hmm."

"Xemnas."

"Saïx."

"Tell me!"

Xemnas sat up and faced him, "Are you gay?"

They both fell silent. Saïx at first thought Xemnas was being sarcastic and snappy but slowly realized he was asking truthfully, "Should I be?"

Xemnas wasn't sure how to respond to THAT. He was hoping for an answer to his question. "I'm not sure…."

"Are you?"

"W-what?"

"Are you gay?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Well then why did you ask me?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Yes! I don't need an explanation."

"Are you sure?"

Xemnas nodded, "Of course I'm sure."

"I don't know…it feels like you're not."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"I thought you were about to ask me out a few minutes ago."

"Ask you out?"

"Like….dating?"

"I'm not gay, Saïx."

"Well then why did you ask??"

Xemnas shrugged, "Because you're on top of me and getting into my face, asking me to 'entertain' you, that's why. I'm tired, Saïx. Tired. If you want to go play games then do it somewhere far away from me."

Saïx continued to stare at him before speaking, "I'm not supposed to leave your room."

Xemnas sighed deeply and nodded, "You're right. Go to sleep before I chain you in your spot again."

Saïx glared, "I don't appreciate that—"

"Of course not. Now lie down and sleep."

Saïx growled and his eyes started to glow, "I'm not tired and I don't want to go to bed."

At first Xemnas was going to snap and throw him down, chain him up, and taunt him….but he knew better. His bed didn't deserve to be destroyed in this process. He nodded and grabbed onto Saïx's shoulders, "Fine, let's talk."

They sat there and discussed what they could. Trying to remember things, wondering what they liked and didn't liked, trying to figure out what their pasts could have been like. The outcome of the conversation was more on crack than anything else.

_I never thought we'd relate at all, yet the more we talk it seems Xemnas and I could become friends. I think. I can't really tell that well, it could be him just trying to tire me out and make me go to bed, but I don't think it's that. He seems genuine enough. Maybe I'm wrong about this place? I was just scared of being rejected or something…_

_I still want to remember who I really am…_

"Lost in your thoughts?" Xemnas asked as Saïx had completely spaced out.

"A little." Saïx paused before frowning, "Do you really think I'm gay?"

"What? No, I was just—"

"Really? Do I act weird or something? Was it something I said?"

"No, it was nothing. I thought it'd make you go away because I was tired. I didn't mean anything by it."

Saïx fell silent again, "What if I was? What if you were? What if…"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "You're questioning your past sexuality?"

Saïx shrugged, "I don't even know anymore."

"Would it matter?"

_Would it?_ "Would it change your mind about me if I was?"

Xemnas hesitated. He already knew Saïx had been, but Saïx had yet to figure it out. The journal would reveal it all…would he act differently? He already was. "I don't think it would. It's just a past event—"

"What if I was now?"

"I don't think you can be."

"What do you mean?"

"Well….we don't necessarily feel pleasure for anything, so finding love in the same sex or opposite is basically impossible."

"So we're neither straight or gay…"

"I…suppose."

_This is the weirdest conversation I've had so far…from what I remember._ "I still think this 'no pleasure' thing is weird. If I had sex with someone I really wouldn't feel anything from it?"

Xemnas shook his head, "I don't believe you would. I've never really tested it out, but then again why would I? There's no point."

Saïx shrugged, "I dunno. I know I like sex. I love it. I'm pretty sure I've done it quite a few times in my life." He caught Xemnas's expression and laughed, "What? I'm not going to deny it."

"Yes…I know you wouldn't, but that's an interesting thing to say to me. I do hope you know that you can't just leave the castle and go on sex binges just to satisfy your empty feelings."

_That's hot. Sex binges. Makes me sound like a whore. Turns me on, kind of. Not? God I don't even know anymore._ "I think if I had my journal I'd know a lot more about myself. I can't believe I forgot."

"It happens."

"You don't forget SEX. That's like forgetting your eye color. It's weird."

"I wouldn't think it's that weird, I forgot everything about myself at one point in time."

The man blinked and got closer to Xemnas, curiously staring at him, "You forgot whether you've had sex or not?"

Xemnas glanced away, "Would it even matter anymore?"

"Wow. That's pretty insane."

Xemnas's eyes came back to him, "How so?"

"I'm not sure." Pause. "Do you think if you had sex you'd remember?"

Xemnas felt really really uncomfortable about this subject. It was so….weird. "I don't think I would. I know how to write, doesn't mean I remember writing anything. I know how to speak, but I don't remember what I've said."

"Hmm…but sex is so much more…"

"Are we finished?"

Saïx glanced at Xemnas, "Oh, are you uncomfortable?"

"A little, I normally don't discuss such subjects with anyone. It's not exactly….on the top of my list."

Saïx shrugged, "I don't really mind….it isn't like I'll have anything else to talk about in a few weeks."

"Perhaps…" Xemnas let his thoughts drag out, unsure of what else to say to Saïx. What else was there to say? His eyes went over to the window, the moonlight had shifted to a different spot. "Perhaps we should get some rest now….continue our discussions for tomorrow. Remember we have to do a lot of work on you..."

Saïx frowned, "Work? What do you mean?"

"Training, practice….getting you to be a better fighter. The stronger and better you are the more likely you are to survive and control your powers. And…who knows….maybe you'll learn more about yourself?"

_I wish that was the case…_ "Okay…" Saïx moved slightly but turned back to face Xemnas, "What about my room? I kind of….ruined it."

"Well…I suppose you can stay in my room until we get it fixed. Don't worry, it shouldn't be that hard to repair."

Saïx smirked, "I hope so. I don't think I know how to fix broken windows…or mirrors…"

Xemnas chuckled, "Maybe we'll replace everything with fluff? You wouldn't break anything then."

Saïx got settled back into his spot, "I might shred it and leave a mess all over the castle."

"Bad dog. Play nice with your toys."

"….." Saïx stared up at the ceiling, "Have you ever had a dog?" _Why am I bringing this up? He just said he wanted to get rest. Yet…I want to continue our conversation. It almost seems like…if I stopped talking we'd completely ignore each other after this moment._

"I don't believe I have. I wouldn't remember."

"Oh yeah," Saïx mumbled, "I forgot that you forgot…" pause. They both laughed, "That was the dumbest thing I've ever said."

"Are you sure? Don't you remember something else?"

"I don't remember if I've said anything dumber than that….maybe you should remember for me?"

"I don't even know that much about you. Well, I do but I don't."

"Because that makes sense."

They fell silent and laughed again, must be the loopy affect coming over them from the lack of sleep. Saïx let is eyes focus over at his bed mate, wondering what else he could bring up…

"You probably don't remember….but have YOU ever been in a relationship?"

Xemnas thought it over silently before glancing at Saïx, "I think so."

"Really?"

"Yeah….I believe I might have been married…"

"Wow."

"What?"

"Married?"

Xemnas smirked, "Do you think I'm old because I'm married?"

"No….I never really thought anyone here would be a committed person like that."

"Then the Organization wouldn't still be around if we weren't committed."

"True…it just seems…odd. I don't think I'd ever get married."

"Why not?"

"I don't know…I think I'd be scared to."

"Doesn't seem that scary of a concept."

Saïx moved so he could face Xemnas better, "You are binding yourself to one person for the rest of your life. That's just….a lot to drag yourself down with."

Xemnas thought it over, "If you can get married."

Silence ensued at those words and Saïx tried to think it over. That didn't make any sense to him. _If I can get married? What am I, an alien?_ "What?"

"Some people can't….due to financial issues—"

"Wait, is this linked back to sexuality again?"

"I never—"

"You must be trying to say something."

"No, it's not like that—"

"Do you know something I don't? Or are you telling me something about yourself?"

"You're taking this the wrong way."

"Am I….or…" Saïx sat up and looked at Xemnas, "Dude. You're gay."

Xemnas sat up, "No I'm not!"

"Yeah you are."

"I am not!"

Saïx smirked, "You have tied me down to a bed twice, dressed me while I've been passed out, ordered me to stay in your room….keep telling me to stay in bed…"

Xemnas opened his mouth and shut it. Wow. Wasn't expecting that. "You were the one who got on top of me twice."

"Twice?"

"Once while strangling me and another time while I was asleep."

"Yeah, strangling is soooo freaking gay. I mean, I was soooo turned on when I was doing that to you, you have no idea."

"See?"

"I'm not the one who reads about Homosexuals."

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "W-what?"

"I saw you reading that book over there."

"The covers are—"

"You told me you read all the books in the library. So you either lied to me or you're gay."

"I can reread books. It's a weird concept, right?"

"Right. I'm sure that's it."

"You're the one who got upset and ran away to go home to your mother."

"Yeah? You're the head of people who wear tight, black leather." Saïx got closer to Xemnas, "Leaaather. Think about that."

Xemnas chuckled and stared into Saïx's yellow eyes. Their faces only inches apart. "You should have seen what you arrived in. It's a good thing I put you into something more decent. If you think leather is bad you'd be ashamed of your attire then."

"So you admit you dressed me. That's not gay at all."

Xemnas shook his head, "I was doing you a favor."

"Yeah? Because a straight guy would obviously have a wonderful fashion sense."

Xemnas rolled his eyes, "It's more like common sense."

Saïx got on top of Xemnas, pinning him down, their faces still close, "If you were straight you'd push me away."

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "If you were straight you wouldn't do anything."

_The breaking point, the truth, I think I know which one is right…right? I'm not sure what I'm trying to prove...but he knows something I don't…and I'll find out what it is._ Saïx got closer, their lips almost touching, they both could feel each other's breath touching them. At first it was a standstill, neither saying anything. He broke the silence with a whisper, "One of us makes the first move….either you or I do….and then we'll know."

Xemnas continued to stare at him and tried to think of a way out of it. He could push away, but….that would mean he'd be giving in. He wasn't gay, but could he tell Saïx that he knew he was? What choice did he have?

"It's you."

Saïx had to register that. So…he was gay in his past life? How could he forget something like that? Then again…would it matter anymore? This was a new life…without emotions…

But what he thought he was feeling right now…or at least the remembrance of the feeling….was fresh in his mind. He was craving for him. _Why him? He'd turn me down, he doesn't want this…does he?_ Saïx leaned closer, their lips pressing together as he kissed Xemnas. Saïx started to deepen their kiss, dragging his tongue against Xemnas's teeth when the man pulled away.

"Stop," he hesitated and shook his head, "I told you what you wanted to know…"

Saïx ignored his words and dragged his tongue from the nape of his neck up to his jawline, kissing him softly as he reached his destination. Xemnas this time pushed him away, using actual strength to keep him at bay. What he saw frightened him, though. Saïx's eyes were shining their bright yellow, his fangs were out, as if the man was completely lost in his powers again. "Calm down, Saïx!"

"What are you talking about?" Saïx glanced over to the mirror and noticed the look. He had never really…seen it before. Probably why Xemnas was yelling at him…he must look like this whenever he lost it.

"Are you upset?" Xemnas asked. _Why would I be upset? What's wrong with me?_

"No…I feel normal….I think." _Aside from the fact that I thought I could get down your pants…_

Xemnas moved to stand up, getting farther away from Saïx, "Maybe you should…go outside…for a bit."

Saïx thought that over and glared, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! I don't want you breaking anything."

Saïx got up and moved to the clothes that he hadn't put on, starting to get dressed, "I thought I wasn't supposed to leave the confines of your room."

"If you're going to go Berserk I want you out."

_Berserk? What am I…a beast? Does he even know how isolated I feel because he says those things to me? They all treat me like a child…just because I'm different._ "Of course." Saïx pulled the laces tight on his boots and tied them quickly, standing up to leave, "Where should I go?"

"Don't wander too far. Then again it doesn't matter, I can detect wherever you're going. So…if you try leaving—"

"I won't. If I'm like this, why would I bother seeing anyone? Besides…" Saïx glanced at Kingdom Hearts, "they've forgotten about me."

Xemnas thought that over before creating a portal, "Go ahead."

Saïx looked at it and went through. _So much for getting on his good side. We were having a good time until I kissed him. He's probably disgusted that I did such a thing…that's why he sent me away. I feel like a moron. It was almost as if we had something…but he can't feel, and my mind just lies to me…_

_He'd never want to touch a beast as crude as myself. I'm dangerous. That's what they keep saying to me._

_I wonder if anyone else has to live through this agony?_

Saïx was walking around the pathways that twisted and turned when he noticed a figure leaning against the balcony. He stopped in his tracks. Should he really be around anyone right now?

"Saïx?" the figure asked without looking at him.

"….Perhaps."

"I can smell you. Are you angered?"

Saïx glanced away, "I don't know…"

Zexion turned to face him and tilted his head slightly, noticing the man didn't have anyone with him, "Odd…I thought you would be asleep right now. The moonlight fall on you when you were asleep?"

"Actually it did."

"And you tried to wake Xemnas up, I assume."

"Yeah."

"So now you're out here."

"Correct."

"What's bothering you?"

Saïx paused, "Nothing."

"Your fangs…"

Saïx looked away, "Oh. That. It started to happen awhile ago."

Zexion analyzed Saïx's body behavior and sighed, "You're not handling it well."

_Not handling what well? What would he know? He's got nothing close to my problem. Hell, sniffing things would be so much better than turning into a monster that no one can stand._ "What are you talking about?"

"You're in a defensive position. You're trying to keep it to yourself, but you're not sure how."

Saïx glared and looked away, "What's it matter? No one would want to help someone like me."

The silent night fell back onto them as Zexion thought through what he'd say next. He stepped away from the balcony and crossed his arms over his chest, "I know someone that's a lot like you…"

_Someone…like me?_ "Who?"

"He lives on a different planet than this one. I'd take you there, but I think Xemnas would wake up and notice you're missing."

"Wouldn't he notice that you are missing, too?"

Zexion hesitated, "Well….probably."

"So he would assume you took me somewhere…"

"Either that or he'd think we killed each other."

"Maybe it's worth the risk?"

Zexion shrugged and opened a portal, "If you really want to go…"

Saïx glanced at the portal and back at Xemnas's looming window, though he didn't see the Superior standing near it. Perhaps he already knew this would happen if he sent him away? _Yeah right, he knew nothing…_Saïx entered in, Zexion following him behind, and they both vanished from The World That Never Was…

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Hope you enjoyed it! The start of some XemSai has surfaced, but how far will Saïx get with Xemnas? Hmm?

Guess we'll find out next time!


	4. Chapter 4

Another chapter! This is like… 75 pages, no joke. I'm not sure why I made it so long. I think I forgot to find a breaking point, so there's a crap ton to read. But you guys like that, right? Exactly.

Enjoy!

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_Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to help someone like myself. I'm different in a bad way. My existence is unbearable and my presence must be annoying… But there are still people who will reach out a hand to help me. What makes them do that, I wonder? I probably would not return the favor at all. Never. I've never wanted to help someone out, even if they were dying. I suppose it's because I've gone through so much that their crying and ailing death is something I envy…_

"Saïx…" Zexion whispered as they had exited the blackened portal into the cold and wintery night of the new world. Terrible and scary trees loomed high around them, their mangled branches casting ghostly shadows upon the blanketed snow. The wind picked up and sent a howling scream through their ears, causing the cloaked figures to pull closer to each other and seek shelter. There before them was a dirt path covered in ice and hardened mud which led up to a giant looming castle. It was gray with its bleak stones and looked gothic with the gargoyles on every corner glaring down upon them.

_I've become one of those gargoyles, a helpless creature frozen in time with a beastly expression. Stand guard and do nothing, but look hideous enough to scare away anyone that dare enter. Xemnas must find me repulsive because of how I turned so quickly on him…even if I had no control over it. Much like the gargoyles, they have no control over their pitiful appearance. They're forever bound to being hideous and depressed up their by themselves…_

"This way," Zexion yelled over the wind and took the lead, Saïx following his steps behind him.

_Karma has finally gotten me. For my lack of interest in helping others, I am now stuck in a position where no one should or will help me. I like it that way. Being a gargoyle can't be too bad…you have other gargoyles to be with that are just as disgusting as you. And Zexion must be one of those gargoyles…_

They entered into the castle and the doors shut behind them, a noise resonating into the empty hallways. The inside was just as terrible as the outside. The stairs loomed high, the place unkempt and covered in cobwebs.

"Who lives here?" Saïx questioned as the short figure started to move down the carpet.

"The Beast. This way, be careful where you step. Keep your voice low…" Zexion kept walking through the castle and reached one of the sets of stairs, climbing up it silently to reach one of the wings. As soon as they reached it, though, a noise so terrifying had made them both stop in their spot. "Put your hood up," Zexion whispered softly as he pulled his over his head, Saïx mimicking the motion.

Another beastly noise came from below and together they turned to see the massive creature leaving its corridors to see who had entered.

"Look at him closely, Saïx, and tell me what you see."

Saïx's eyes landed on the figure, watching it pace and snarl as he sniffed the air to find where his intruders were at, "I just see a beast is all…"

Zexion nodded, "As does everyone else that comes here and sees him."

Saïx shook his head, "But what does that have to do with me?"

"Keep watching."

The creature roared again, and soon utensils came out slowly, their clattering and clinking resonated the halls.

"Sir, please calm down! The doors must have blown open was all."

"Yes, please come sit down!"

He roared again, their bickering falling silent. "There is someone here….and they don't belong. If I find them I will KILL THEM!"

The Beast made his way towards the stairs on all fours, snarling as his eyes reeled about from side to side to find where they had gone.

"He's…speaking English…like his utensils…" Saïx mumbled.

"They all used to be human at one point. They're enchanted. The story goes that a rich boy refused to help a poor beggar woman that had came to his house. All she had asked for was a place to stay and rest. But his refusal to help her had revealed who she really was. A fairy of some type…beautiful beyond recognition. She damned him to this appearance." Zexion grabbed Saïx's arm, "This way, there's more." They slid through the hallways into a small corridor, through a door that was half broken. Inside was a bright pink rose glowing as it was encased in glass.

"Wow…that's beautiful."

"This rose keeps him in that form. When the last petal falls he will forever stay as that creature, but it's said that if he were to find true love then he and his servants will return to human form again."

Saïx touched the glass curiously, wondering what type of torture it would be to stay in such a form. "I still don't understand how this relates to me. I'm not a beast on the outside…I only turn into one at times…or something like it."

"You lose control and turn into one….if you had control, then you could turn if you wanted to, or you could harness that strength for something better."

"So…."

"This Beast must find love to control his physical features….you must find something that will hold your temperament down. I believe your transformations are caused by thoughts of previous emotions. Such as when you think of the number 7…it upsets and angers you. Those thoughts cause you to change because they're powerful thoughts, because they used to be powerful emotions…"

Saïx shook his head, "I can't control what I think."

"Maybe you can?"

Saïx turned to face him, "How?" The door was then smashed into as the beastly figure revealed itself, eyes crazed and stature towering high above them. Saïx couldn't move as the thing roared so loud it shook his body. Zexion left through a portal, probably thinking Saïx would do the same. Alas…he wasn't good at portals…much like he wasn't good at keeping his thoughts under control.

The monster came forward, towering right above Saïx so that he had to crane his neck upward. His size was at least Xaldin and Lexaeus combined, and his lung power was definitely one he had never heard of before. Another growl came at him with a clawed hand, smashing him into a half demolished chair. Saïx didn't move from his painful position, feeling his breath start to become rapid as Beast made sure the flower was perfectly fine.

_He cares for that flower because it's his only hope…He hates it because it binds him to being a beast, yet he loves it because it's the only beautiful thing in his life. Flower…the…Flower…_

_I'm…remembering something. A name…or a nickname. Flower? Was it?_

_Did Zexion do this to help me remember, or was it something else…?_

"What are you doing here?!" snarled Beast as he moved in front of the glimmering rose, his nostrils flaring as he readied to rip Saïx apart.

"I wanted to figure out who I was…"

Beast's low growl fell silent before he turned away from him, and let his giant hand carefully grace the glass of the rose, "You won't find that here…"

Saïx pulled his hood away, "I already have…" He slowly got up from his spot, ignoring the pain that was going through him.

"Just leave….I want to be left alone," Beast snarled and rose upward, trying to scare him.

Saïx continued to stand there and stare at him. _So this is what the others think when they see me. A giant, untamed creature that doesn't want help but craves it all the same. I feel so dumb. No wonder Zexion said I wanted attention. It's all I ever get because of my inability to control my powers…_ "All right…but if you ever need company…" Saïx said before he watched a portal open, a different figure had appeared.

"Saïx!" It snarled at him and grabbed his arm roughly. Definitely had to be Xaldin or Lexaeus. He was pulled through before Beast could say anything else…or try and kill them. One of the two.

"What's your problem?" Saïx snapped as the portal opened again. The kitchen table was filled with everyone in their spots except his own and Xaldin's. So Xaldin had pulled him away. Why not Zexion?

"What were you thinking leaving the castle again? I deliberately told you to stay close, but what did you do? Went to another planet! You could have gotten killed, or you could have killed someone on accident!" Xemnas yelled at him from his spot in anger.

Xaldin pulled his hood down and slammed Saïx into seat number 7. Saïx cringed but didn't move to get up. What was he supposed to say? His eyes went to Zexion who sat across from him. The man didn't say a thing.

"I didn't mean to…" Saïx finally replied as the group had their eyes on him. _My God I feel like a victim right now. What have I done? I didn't do anything…I only followed Zexion to figure out what I needed to do…or at least try and understand what everyone thought I was. I get it now, I'm a terrible misbehaving beast that just needs to find my way of controlling my thoughts to control my power…Why am I catching so much grief?_

"Creating portals requires conscious thought, Saïx, you had to have done it while you were awake and in control of your—" Vexen started to blab.

Saïx shook his head, "I…" he paused and fell silent, "I remembered something."

They glanced at each other and Xemnas sighed, "Now what did you remember."

"Flower."

They all glanced at each other wondering what he was talking about. Xigbar leaned over to Xemnas and smirked, "What'd you do, send him out to get groceries to make you a cake?" He obviously didn't know Saïx meant 'flower' and not 'flour'.

A small chuckle escaped some of the others, but it fell silent as Xemnas held his hand up. "That's a person you know, isn't it?"

Saïx nodded, "Yeah, he was the one I couldn't remember before…"

Xemnas put his hands together on the table, wondering what else he remembered. "Why did you go to Beast's Castle then?"

_Zexion still hasn't said anything, am I suppose to pretend he wasn't a part of this? Might as well…he would hate me more than he already does if I dragged him into this fiasco._ "It was an accident."

"How did you accidentally portal yourself to a new world?" Xigbar questioned as he turned into Mr. Serious.

_I really hate that guy._ "I just thought of a place to go to since I didn't want to really…destroy the castle…"

"Because you were going berserk?" Vexen piped up as he was writing.

"Yeah…" _Something like that._

"You wouldn't have been able to destroy anything on the outside, Saïx. That's why I told you to leave and stay close. Don't doubt my words."

Saïx sighed. Xemnas was really laying it down on him, wasn't he? "I panicked."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know…afraid someone would just run into me and get killed."

"We're strong enough to save ourselves," Xaldin stated.

"Doesn't mean you can't make a mistake that could end up killing you…" Saïx glanced down and noticed blood was on the arm of his chair. He lifted his arm up and finally noticed that he was actually wounded more than he thought when Beast hit him.

Xemnas saw how much blood there was and he got up quickly, moving over to examine the wound. "Did Beast do this to you?"

Vexen and the others started to move and crowd around wondering how Saïx was even still conscious. "He's bleeding all over the floor!"

Saïx glanced down at the floor…and the worst thing he could see was there. It was as if his blood had splattered….into a 7.

"Zexion, go get some bandages, and Vexen fetch some medicine. Xigbar, get something to clean up this mess." Xemnas ordered and people started to move off quickly. Saïx moved to get out of his seat, panicking. _That number, it's all around me. I keep seeing it and I can't get away from it. Something bad is going to happen if I stay here._

Xemnas grabbed onto Saïx and shoved him back into his seat, "Stay here; don't move."

Saïx felt his power start to rise. He snarled and fought Xemnas, Lexaeus, and Xaldin as they tried to hold him down. "Let me go! Let me go!! Get off of me!!" He growled before his eyes started to glow, his fangs started to show.

"Calm down, Saïx, we're trying to help you!" Xemnas snapped at him and watched as the other three returned. Vexen rushed over quickly and stabbed him with a sedative…or at least he thought it was one.

"That should make him stop," Vexen mumbled and searched in his pocket to get out something for Saïx's arm.

_I feel like I'm being shocked to death, either that or someone is stabbing me with thousands of needles into my flesh. The agony is so unbearable I can't even think straight! What are they doing to me? What have they done to me?_

Saïx screamed in agony as the 'sedative' didn't work. He kicked and thrashed, throwing Lexaeus and Xaldin's grasp from him. His hand came out and clawed Xemnas across his neck, leaving a mark behind.

"Dear God, what did you give him?" Xemnas yelled over Saïx's agonizing screaming as they continued to try and stop his tantrum.

Vexen began to flail and spazz, "I don't know!! I thought it was a sedative! It was in the spot where I normally keep those!! I don't remember creating anything like this!! Gah!!"

Zexion snapped his fingers, "Vexen, go get the right thing then! Hurry up before Saïx does anymore damage!"

Vexen shook his head, "You don't mix potions together, that's dangerous! If I induce sleeping into him now he might fall into a coma!"

Xemnas was slammed into the table and winced as it had nailed him in his back. Ouch. "Then what do you propose we do with him now?"

Vexen stared and shook his head, "Let him pass out from his own pain it seems. He'll either get too light-headed to fight, or the agony will become so terrible he won't be able to move."

Xemnas knew that'd take too long…He'd have to cause Saïx to pass out….and to make someone pass out quickly, you cut off their air supply.

"We need to stop him from breathing. If he passes out from a lack of air I think we'll be fine."

_I can't understand a word they're saying! What's going on?? Make this pain stop!!_

Saïx felt his arm become pulled tight, his jerking movements for freedom were futile. Then someone put something over his head, and something came around him neck. He was choking. He was unable to breathe.

Xemnas watched as Xigbar did the duty of closing off his air supply. Lexaeus and Xaldin did their best keeping him down even though his struggling became panicked and worse than before. Slowly his struggling started to become lethargic, his legs stopped moving, his arms began to relax, and finally his entire body stopped moving altogether.

Xemnas waited a moment before nodding at Xigbar to release him. As II let go around his neck he pulled the bag from his head. They all got closer, staring at VII.

"I think we did it," Xemnas mumbled and put his hand out to check and see if Saïx was breathing yet. Saïx woke up quickly and bit down on his hand, making Xemnas holler in surprise. The others either screamed or shouted at the movement from him.

"Xemnas!" Vexen shouted in such a terrifying tone it made everyone look at him. The man stabbed Saïx's hurt arm and watched the man scream, releasing Xemnas.

"Dear God, what are you doing?" Xemnas questioned as Vexen stabbed Saïx again, though Saïx didn't move to fight back.

"Enough pain will make him too weak to fight back. Should have kept your hand back, Xemnas…you should know that you don't waggle fingers in front of an untamed dog." One more knife jab caused Saïx to buckle over.

"I think he's had enough!" Xemnas ordered before glancing at his hand. The glove had nicely ripped holes in it, but other than that he was sure all of his fingers were still attached. His unwounded hand grabbed Saïx by the back of his neck. He could feel him trembling uncontrollably. He pulled up slightly, just to see Saïx's face. "He's in shock. Zexion, Vexen, start fixing his arm. We'll move him after that. What did you make anyway that caused him to react that way?"

As Zexion began to pull off Saïx's glove and roll up his sleeve Vexen explained what he was doing. "I was hoping for a concoction that would control emotions and power at one level. I'm assuming since he was in pain the thing went completely out of whack and just caused him to triple his strength because he was trying to get away from whatever was causing him such agony. I thought I put it someplace safer than that….my apology, Superior."

Xemnas shook his head, "No matter…he'll get better, I'm sure."

There group fell mostly silent as Zexion wrapped up Saïx's arm efficiently and quickly wrapped up Xemnas's hand. "Superior, look," Zexion whispered. As he looked down he noticed something odd…

"Is that a '7'…."

"Formed by his blood?" Vexen questioned, wondering how that happened.

Xigbar shrugged, "Could be an italicized L."

Xaldin shook his head, "It's nothing. What matters is that Saïx gets rest, correct Superior? I'm certain you will deal with punishment for leaving later."

Xemnas continued to stare at the number and then glanced up at Xaldin, "Well…I would have punished him if this hadn't happened. I believe unbearable pain from Vexen's potion is enough. Besides, he said that he was doing it more for the goodwill of others."

Xaldin frowned, "You believe him?"

"Saïx never knew about Beast's Castle before. He didn't even know other worlds existed. I highly doubt he went through a portal on purpose."

_They're talking about me and I'm sitting right here. I may be in agony, but that doesn't mean I'm deaf. I can't believe they're saying these things…as if I'm some incompetent child! At least…Xemnas is defending me…after all I did to him. Wasn't even that much…a kiss…well, I did lick his neck. Why did I do that? God, I wonder about myself sometimes…_

"He still created a portal, and it was to someplace other than here. That in itself shows he meant to leave—" Xaldin remarked.

"Silence, Xaldin!" Xemnas shot back and watched as III was taken aback but understood where his place was.

"Of course, Superior."

"This meeting is over. Leave." Xemnas ordered and the group dispersed after that quickly and quietly. His eyes went down to Saïx who still sat in front of him. "Feeling any better?"

"Hardly," Saïx mumbled as he lifted up his head and saw Xemnas holding something. "What's…" He paused. "That's my—"

"I retrieved it for you." Xemnas handed it over to Saïx who greedily took it from his grasp. "I thought it'd help you."

"You haven't….read any of it, have you?"

"No. If you wanted me to know something I trust you'll say it."

Saïx opened it up and glanced at the handwriting, almost curious to see if it was even his. "I…feel like I have a migraine."

"You are going through a tremendous amount of pain."

Saïx slowly got up and glared at his seat before sighing, "Yeah…thanks to you guys…" He rubbed his arm and hissed at the agony. _That hurts like a bitch. I should not touch it again._ "I just want to lay down and…not wake up ever…"

Xemnas smirked, "Then go to bed."

Saïx hesitated and glanced at the journal. _To sleep or to read, that is the question, isn't it? I want to know about who I am…but right now I feel so shitty I'm not even sure if it's worth finding out who I once was…_

_But…then again…I might be able to sleep better once I know who I am. I won't have to think about what I've done in my past life…_

"I can't sleep until I read this first…"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "You're going to read the entire thing before you sleep?"

Saïx shrugged, though winced at the movement. "I'll just lie in the moonlight. Then I won't need to sleep."

Xemnas laughed, "You're going to hurt your body doing that."

"It's already in agony, let's test its limit."

Xemnas shook his head, "Such a foolish thing to test. If you ruin yourself don't come crying to me."

Saïx folded his arms across his chest, "I can't cry, I don't have emotions."

"You can cry if you're in terrible agony…"

Saïx started to move, "Right. I'm going to use your room."

"That's fine."

Saïx had made his trip to Xemnas's room and entered, sitting down in the chair and he suddenly felt…really comfortable. _Wow, this chair is like…heaven to my ass. I thought I'd continue to feel pain, but not in this baby. No wonder he sits in it so much. Mmm. Kind of smells like him, too. Wait. Gah, don't think that way. He's already freaked out about you enough as it is! Don't push it!_ He opened the book to the first page and started to read.

7777777

It was almost midnight when Xemnas finally entered into the room. He noticed Saïx was lounging like a God in his chair, still reading his journal. "Anything fascinating or useful put in there?" He didn't really expect Saïx to reply with anything. The man seemed to be one to keep things to himself. Xemnas was wrong, though. Saïx had plenty to share.

"I can do the splits! Wanna see?"

Xemnas fell silent as Saïx got up and presented his newfound trick to him. All he could do was stare at him in complete astonishment. Looked painful, but Saïx wasn't even wincing. "My…how flexible you are."

Saïx got up and nodded, "Yeah, I was going to do it earlier, but it wasn't until recently that the agonizing pain from that potion finally wore off. That's probably how I got out of the ropes and chains so easily…"

"I'll keep that in mind. Next time I'll lock your hips in place." Xemnas turned to ready himself for bed and realized how terribly dirty that sounded. It was either Xigbar rubbing off on him or he was just realizing his own mistakes. "Well…not…like that…" Xemnas finally said to cover up his own blunder. He glanced back at Saïx who was staring at him. "What?"

"How…did you know I was…" Saïx dropped his sentence. Xemnas knew what he meant.

"You said 'it's either you or me' and I'm not it, so it must be you. I don't know if you really are or not. Why?"

Saïx frowned and let out a sigh, "Well…okay…"

"…What is it?"

"Nothing. Forget about it!"

Xemnas decided to drop it and moved to the bathroom, only noticing that Saïx had followed him. "Now what do you need?"

"Are you sure you aren't?"

Xemnas sighed and faced him, "Certain."

"Really?"

"Absolutely positively sure."

"You're THAT sure?"

"Yes. I am still as straight as I was last night, and the day before that." Xemnas waited for his response, but Saïx said nothing. "If you don't mind I'll be preparing for bed now."

"Do you want to have sex?"

Xemnas almost died at that. Dear. God. No. "What the hell, Saïx?"

"Hey hey, what's up with the foul language? So unnecessary!"

"You're the one that's being…foul! I cannot believe you'd ask such a thing after I just told you—"

"Well if you don't want to do that then why not help me with this?" Saïx pointed at his bandaged arm.

Xemnas stared at him and sighed. Had he only said that so he'd help him? What a weird way to ask for help. Completely intolerable. "Fine."

Saix smirked, "I knew you'd say yes."

Xemnas pointed for Saïx to sit and he started to peel off the bandages, noticing how dried the blood was. "At least it stopped bleeding, hmm?"

_God that hurts like a bitch. I can hardly move it without feeling the pain. And peeling off bandages is just as painful as trying to move the damn thing. Don't say anything and maybe he'll just continue and finish it. I need to control my thoughts, right? No emotional spasms or tantrums. This could definitely be a test. If I don't freak out he'll easily get it off and I'll be fine. Right? Right…_

"OWW!!" Saïx yelled as a piece of the bandage pulled hard on his skin, causing the pain to course up through his arm and through his entire body.

"I apologize, I didn't think it was stuck—"

"Just keep pulling."

"It'll start to bleed again, Saïx."

"Then let it bleed, just get the bandages off!"

"All right…calm down…" Xemnas mumbled and continued to pull it off, finally taking the remains of the bandages and throwing them away. "There, let's get that wiped down…" He grabbed a hand cloth and got it wet, slowly dabbing at the wounds and watching Saïx retract as it stung. "Try to hold still."

"Easy for you to say."

"Of course. I don't run into giant angry beasts and let them shove me around."

"Shut up."

"You're just upset that I'm right."

Xemnas put the cloth down and patted the wound dry, "Hmm. Might want to put something on it before we bandage it again."

"Who said we're covering it again?" Xemnas looked up at Saïx. He was completely serious.

"It'll get infected or scar—"

Saïx glared at him, "It'll scar no matter what." Xemnas stared at Saïx. The X-shaped scar brandished nicely across his face. How could he say that and not think about Saïx's reputation with bodily injuries? He was so dumb sometimes.

"It'll scar less and hurt less if you take care of it properly."

"So? I don't care."

"You should."

Xemnas raised an eyebrow as Saïx started to scratch at his arm. "Don't do that!"

"It itches!"

"Really? I thought you were scratching because it caused you pain." No. Freaking. Shit.

"Don't snap at me," Saïx grumbled. _Ugh, so much for not fighting. I can't control myself at all. It's an impulse to get in trouble…_

"Then stop being a fool," Xemnas ordered and pulled Saïx's hand away, "Besides, you still owe me."

Saïx growled, "For what?"

"For getting you out of that safe. You said, 'you can do whatever you want with me, just get me out'. That means we're going to get this fixed and you're not going to bitch about it."

"There you go again, cursing up a storm," Saïx mocked in return, though he didn't stop Xemnas from rebinding the wound. After the entire thing was wrapped and fixed Saïx grumbled to himself before leaving the bathroom to read some more. _Why did I bother in the first place? I wanted it free and open and now I'm back in the same position I was before._ He heard the shower start and a smile came to his face. All he could think about was Xemnas. _Why am I so obsessed with this guy? He's nothing…nothing compared to this…Flower person I remember. In this journal, he's all I talk about. He must have meant something to me. I think I must have loved him…I must have dreamt about sharing my bed and my life with this guy. He does look pretty hot from the picture I left…but what other secrets did we share together that I don't remember?_ Saïx glanced to the window and looked up at Kingdom Hearts, feeling the energy fall down on him. A small sigh escaped him…and this time it almost…seemed pleasurable. It made him almost frightened that he was enjoying this energy, this terrible abomination that he'd turn into. With quick reflexes he shut the curtain, watching the room fall into complete darkness.

Xemnas got out of the bathroom and noticed it was dark. "Saïx?" Why the hell were the curtains closed? It was really dark in there. His eyes tried to adjust as he moved over to turn the lights on.

"Don't."

Xemnas turned slightly, "Don't? I can't see." A hand grabbed him and pulled, finding his way to the bed. "Hmm." That was when Saïx pushed him down onto it and got on top of him. Dear. God. This man never knew when to stop. "Saïx," he warned, not sure whether he should fight or see what he would do first. Saïx laughed slightly and put his face next to Xemnas's.

"I want to find out how flexible you are…"

Xemnas frowned, "What?" That was when Saïx pulled on his leg and tried to force it to his chest. It didn't really go far, as his legs were rather tight, "Ow! My leg doesn't go that direction!"

Saïx rubbed Xemnas's thigh, "Well why not? I know a great way to get those loose."

Xemnas frowned. This was going somewhere, wasn't it? "I'm not sure if I want to know…but go ahead…tell me…"

"Sex."

Xemnas groaned, "Saïx, no."

"But we're in a great position already."

Xemnas thought this all over. They were? "What are you going to do, take advantage of me?" What a thing to ask.

"If you want me to."

Xemnas grabbed Saïx and threw him down beside him, "No, I don't want that. Nor do I want you on top of me."

"Do you want top?"

"Absolutely not."

"Well…if you don't want to have sex, could you give me a massage?"

"You have the oddest way in asking favors, you do know that, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Is it your arm that's bothering you?"

"Yes. Ironic since I was stabbed in the arm, hmm?"

"Of course." Xemnas replied and felt for Saïx's arm, finding it, "This the one?"

"Yup." _I can't believe how easily I can make him do things for me. As soon as I talk about sex he gets weirded out, and then when I ask for something besides that he quickly accepts. Maybe he's just avoiding the awkward conversation? Or he's just running out of ways to refuse me without killing me. Heh. I almost want to see how far I can make him go on this massage thing. It does feel pretty nice…_ "Ow, be nice."

"How's this feel?"

"Better. You're pretty good at this."

Xemnas sighed, "Indeed."

_Oh god. There it is again. That deep voice spewing one word as if it's filled with sexual innuendo. I love it. Sounds so freaking hot. Hmm…I think I'm going to prolong fixing my room just to get him to talk to me like that all the time._ "You should do my shoulder, too."

"Fine," Xemnas mumbled and let Saïx resituate so he could work away. As he pressed into Saïx's shoulder he felt the guy tense and slowly relax. He continued his work and wondered…if this was a test? Maybe he should play along, see what Saïx would do if he was put on the spot? He let his hands go down slowly, working away at the muscles. Finally he reached Saïx's hips, playfully teasing as he worked away, sometimes letting his hands drag against his skin to feel Saïx react. "So tense…" Xemnas went even lower, "Hard…" and lower, "Stiff."

Saïx reacted just as Xemnas expected. The man gasped with some pleasure and smirked, "You missed a spot…it's really stiff…but I think you'll have to do something else to make it relax."

Xemnas almost stopped right there. Oh. Heavens. Too much information right now. And on his bed!! Eh…the blankets could always be washed. "You mean close to here?" Xemnas grabbed the back of Saïx's thighs, rubbing between them, "Is this it?"

Saïx pulled away and grabbed Xemnas, pushing him down into the pillows. He kissed him roughly, restraining Xemnas as the man tried to pull away from him. Saïx pressed his body harder into Xemnas's, pinning him tightly to the bed. As he ground his hips into Xemnas's the man let out a small, disapproving growl.

"Saïx, stop!" He pulled Saïx away and noticed the bright yellow eyes were gleaming at him again, "…Saïx…don't get so upset."

_Every time I make a move on him he pushes away, saying he doesn't want to. But…the more I try the more I want him. Even if…deep down I really don't feel pleasure in this. I just want to have sex so that I can at least pretend I feel human again. He's one person I know that would accept me, right?_ "I'm not upset? I'm turned on."

Xemnas frowned, "But…your eyes…"

Saïx sat up and glanced over at the mirror. Once again his eyes were indeed glowing. "But…I'm…not upset…"

Xemnas reached over and hit a button, his curtains opened slightly and the moonlight poured in, hitting Saïx directly. He looked absolutely terrifying. But…then he got an idea. Saïx's thoughts about strong emotions caused such looks…what if he could get Saïx to stop thinking about being so emotional? And he knew the perfect way to do it. "If you could control yourself…I might bend a few rules…and let you do what you want with me."

Saïx watched as the glow slowly went away, "Really?" _Imagine how much I could do to him. He wouldn't be able to pull away if I could…_ "Is that a challenge?"

"Absolutely. You have a time limit. 3 weeks. If you don't succeed than you'll have to do everything I say. And believe me, it won't be anything enjoyable."

Saïx bit his lip and then smirked, "I'll make sure you lose."

"We'll see, won't we?"

7777777

The first week had already passed, Saïx tried to finish his journal but kept getting bored with what he had to say. All he ever talked about was some guy. He didn't really remember him that much anyway, so why even bother reading up about it? He tossed it off to the side and groaned as he was bored and filled with energy as usual. This castle was constantly lit up with the moon's light, which only caused him to be awake at some strange hours.

_I'm not even sure where to start on this controlling my powers thing. I'm trying to think less, which doesn't really work because everything requires thought. Right? Exactly. I think. Gah, I'm confusing myself. Maybe it'll be easier if I talk to someone for help? But who really wants to help me on something that doesn't even concern them? Wait. I know the perfect person!_

Saïx moved through the castle halls knowing exactly where he had to go to find him. As he climbed up past stairs and out onto a balcony he found Zexion reading a book.

"Saïx," Zexion said casually as he turned the page to continue reading.

"Zexion, the perfect person I need!"

Zexion glared, "I'm not helping you get something out of the vents if that's what you're here for."

_What…the hell. He is rather short. Hell, he'd fit nicely in the vents. But why would I ask for something like that? Unless someone else bugged him about it…_ "Uh…no that wasn't what I was here for. I was hoping you could do something else for me?"

Zexion marked the page in his book and frowned, "Like what?"

"I bet Xemnas that I could control my powers in 3 weeks, and I already pissed away one because I was trying to read up on who I was, which only ended in me NOT finding out who I was because reading anything about me is so boring and I really don't want to remember all the terrible experiences I had during my shortly lived life." Breathe. "So I came here wondering if you had any suggestions…and wanted to help me?"

"Why me?"

"Um." Saïx paused, "Is that a trick question?"

"No..?"

"You're not an idiot, that's one reason."

Zexion set the book down and shrugged, "Fine, I'll help you. To control your powers you must—"

"Learn to control my thoughts, because I think about emotions and how I would express them in certain situations."

Zexion blinked, "Yes…" He started to walk with Saïx as he thought it over, "I believe it will take awhile for you to completely mellow out, but if you want to try and impress Xemnas and do it soon…than I know a way we can get you to that point. It'll take a lot of practice and determination, but it shouldn't be too hard."

Saïx smiled, "Sweet, so how do we do it?"

"Well…put you into situations where you will have to adapt to reacting differently." Zexion nodded his head, "Go ahead and take a seat." Saïx sat down at the bench and watched as Zexion positioned himself in front of him.

"So…"

Zexion tilted his head slightly, "I want you to describe what I look like to me."

"Why?"

"Just do it. Pay attention."

Saïx frowned and stared at Zexion quizzically, "Hmm…you're short. Rather short. I think you're the shortest guy I've ever met, actually. I'm guessing it's because you might be young. Maybe. You act really mature, though, so you seem old but not. Anyway…uh…you have really messy hair that's all up in your face. That reminds me, I totally think you might have some secretly terrible facial deformity and you're hiding it because you don't want anyone to know. Though why would you do that? I've got my own scars and I don't really care, but I forget they're even there unless I move my face weirdly. But back to you. You're wearing black leather. I find that really creepy that we're all…wearing leather. Who thought of that? What drives a mind to think 'Hmm, leather would definitely be delicious to wear' especially on a cult of MEN?"

Zexion blinked, "Saïx. Focus."

Saïx gave him a confused look, "I am?"

"You think all of that when you see me?"

Saïx nodded, "Yeah? I mostly think about how short you are, but that's probably besides the point."

Zexion sighed, "I see. We'll have to work harder than I expected."

Saïx glared, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get aggressive, I'm just stating that you think more than needs to be thought."

"How's that possible?"

"When I look at you I only think of the basics. Saïx, number VII of Organization XIII. Weapon is a claymore, and he uses the moon to derive the power Berserk into battle."

_That's all he thinks when he sees me? That's so…simple. I don't think I could break down my thoughts like that. Maybe I could? Well, I could think things but say less. Maybe? I wonder if that would help?_

"Don't associate me with that number."

Zexion nodded, "I'm only telling you what I think."

"Well. Okay. Let me try again." Saïx thought it over and looked at Zexion. "Zexion….guh, you're just so short! I can't stop thinking about it when I see you!"

Zexion crossed his arms over his chest, "How am I supposed to help you if that's all you associate me with?"

"It's just how I think. I go by physical things I can see rather than titles. Like Xigbar for example, when I see him I think of drunken pirates. Xemnas reminds me of cupcakes, because those vanilla ones always have the dark outside with white frosting on top. But he talks like a pedophile. And Vexen reminds me of a spastic scientist who inhaled too many chemicals."

Zexion raised an eyebrow, "Xemnas reminds you of pedophiles and cupcakes?"

"Yeah. Just LISTEN to him! He talks SOOOOO SLOW! It drives me insane. He could say one word and it'd take a minute just to let him finish the entire pronunciation of the thing."

Zexion cracked a small smile, though he was trying not to, "That bugs you?"

"Yes. And whenever you say something he just says 'Hmm.' Or 'INDEEEEEED'. Just. Completely irrelevant! Once he repeated every other word I said." Saïx shrugged, "And then other times he talks somewhat normally. As if his head is completely screwed up and it just turns on and off."

Zexion nodded, "There is a reason why he might act that way. You did bludgeon him with a gargoyle."

Saïx snorted, "He talked like that before I hit him."

"There is also another reason." Zexion sat down next to him, "Back when we were alive our group didn't have Xemnas. We found him completely unconscious, and when we woke him up he remembered nothing of who he was or what he had been through. Not even his name. We're not sure where he's really from. From this day we still know just as much as we did when we first acquired him."

Saïx thought that over and frowned, "That's weird. I think I'd be upset if I forgot that much."

"I think that's why he's interested in seeing how quickly you can develop. You're powered by your memories."

"Do you think he's envious of that?"

"If he could feel envy…or even remember what it felt like. Vexen kept a detailed document of our lives. A large section was based on Xemnas, because he became a part of our research before he became a researcher. It was stated more than once that he would sit there and say absolutely nothing, nor would he express anything. He would watch and observe everything around him. The odd thing is…instead of mimicking any of it he would just pass it off and do something completely different."

Saïx played with a piece of his hair and listened to Zexion before he perked up, "Observing. So…he observes and processes it….than he reacts. I get it. I just…think, I don't stop to focus on one thing because I'm combining a bunch of things into one." Saïx shook his head, "No wonder everyone else here seems lifeless. I take a thousand events I remember and combine them into a thought based on something I see, which makes me react the way I've usually reacted. You guys don't remember anything besides what you've read, so you watch and then you react."

Zexion nodded, "Seems so."

"I think…if I hit my head REALLY hard maybe I'll just forget?"

Zexion sighed, "That's not a guarantee. Why not continue practicing your thought pattern? Observe, than react. Don't think about anything else but observing. Let's observe…" Zexion nodded his head, "That, over there."

Saïx glanced at the fountain, "The fountain?"

"Yes. Watch. Observe."

Saïx stared at the fountain and concentrated on it intently. _A fountain. Water is coming out of it. It's made of stone. No harm to me. The statue looks like a dancing girl. The water is coming from her mouth and hand. Ugh…don't get off concentrating. Right. Stone. Like rocks. It's hard. Slipping on wet stone would hurt. Could cause scrapes. And she's a girl. With curly hair. And yeah…she's dancing. Except she's not really dancing because she's frozen. And if she was dancing that'd be weird, because she's made of stone. A stone ballerina. Stoned. Ha! She's a drug addict. So she's imagining that she's spewing water even if she really isn't. I bet her parents beat her at night._

Zexion watched as Saïx's expression went from bored to quizzical to a smirk. "Saïx. Your facial expressions tell me that you're not paying attention."

"I was but I got bored. What's that?" Saïx nodded his head at the fountain.

Zexion looked, "It's a fountain."

"No, behind it."

Zexion turned to look and he frowned slightly, noticing an odd black spot. He stood up and pointed at Saïx, "Stay here, I'll be right back." Zexion vanished through a portal.

"Uh…okay." Saïx sat in his spot and stared at the odd black blob, watching it float in its spot, moving extremely slowly. What did it do anyway? A portal appeared closer to it and out stepped Zexion and Xemnas. What were they doing? Xemnas was reaching inside it and…and…

Saïx frowned as a person came out.

And that was when he finally figured out…how he came here.

7777777

Saïx sat at the table in his seat. Well, he wouldn't actually claim seat number 7, but that was besides the point. Right now they were meeting someone new…

"I don't remember seeing you guys at the party, eh?" the redhead commented and gave a jab to Saïx's arm, "Glad to meet ya. I can't remember who I am, but hey, that happens when you go boozin' sometimes." The figure stretched and looked at his outfit, "Whoa, when did I put this on."

Xemnas sighed and glanced at Xaldin. Did they seriously pick up all failures? "Axel."

The redhead blinked and pointed at himself, "Me?"

"Yes, your name is Axel."

"Well…okay!"

_Insert boring introduction here. God listen to Xemnas speak slowly to this guy. I don't remember my introduction being this retarded. Then again I was probably feeling just as fucked up as this guy._

"I'll commit it to memory," Axel replied and looked around at the others, "So. Weapons. You said something about those?"

"Everyone's got them," Xigbar mumbled and everyone produced their weapons besides Saïx.

Axel glanced at Saïx, "Where's yours?"

"In my other pants."

Xigbar snorted and coughed as Xemnas glared at him.

"Saïx, if he's curious to see it why not show him?"

Saïx blinked and shook his head, "It's not worth the effort."

Xemnas glanced over at Zexion as if prompting him to say something. Zexion only shrugged his shoulders at Saïx's stubborn behavior.

"He's somewhat new around here, too. Perhaps you two might learn from each other?"

Axel glanced at Saïx, "What would you teach me?"

"How to fuck off."

Xemnas sighed. Xaldin stood up and grabbed Saïx by his arm, pulling him up. "Saïx has a few matters to attend to. You can talk to him after this meeting is done." He waved his hand and a portal appeared. With one swift movement he threw Saïx in it and let the portal close.

Axel frowned and shrugged, "Whatever works."

It was definitely sometime afterward when Xemnas was walking down the hallway when he saw Saïx limping slightly. "Your room is next to Saïx's," Xemnas commented to Axel.

Axel smirked, "Cool." He paused, "Is mine the one marked VIII?"

"Correct."

Axel glanced at Saïx's door and frowned, "Hey, why doesn't he have anything?"

Xemnas sighed, "It's a long story."

Saïx finally made it to them and grabbed onto Xemnas, "Xaldin through me into a cactus plant!"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "And…"

"And it hurt, so I jumped and smacked into that stand with the vase. Well, the vase fell over, and I caught my fall on the curtains, but I ripped the curtains down along with the rail…and that knocked down the painting that was on the wall…which fell on me and it's kind of ripped up now. Sorry."

Xemnas continued to stare at Saïx before he frowned, "Today seems very unlucky for you."

Saïx nodded, "Yeaaah…"

Axel smirked, "Oh! Today's the 7th! Isn't that funny that it's your number, too?"

Saïx glared, "Don't associate me with THAT number."

Axel frowned, "Well why not? Aren't you number 7?"

Saïx hissed, "Shhh!!" He glanced around and grumbled, "What are you trying to do, provoke it?"

Axel glanced at Xemnas for help. Xemnas gave a deep sigh before smiling at Axel apologetically, "Saïx's unlucky number is seven. Things happen when it's around him too much. It's….odd."

Axel nodded, "What's odder is the fact that you're number 1, I'm 8, and when we subtract we make 7. And Saïx is 7. So that's two 7's already in one room!"

Saïx frowned and turned away from them, "Dear god, I'm not sticking around here."

Xemnas turned to Axel, "Uh…I need to discuss a few things with him. Go ahead and explore wherever you wish. If you need something and you can't find your way around, just use the air freshener!" Because Zexion was way too easy to summon. He finally caught up with Saïx and grabbed onto his arm, "You're overreacting."

"He's too good at math."

"You're imagining this entire thing."

"He saw it before I did."

"You're acting strangely for no reason."

"I shouldn't even be walking around."

"Why were you disobeying orders at the meeting, anyway?"

"What if I get hurt when I turn this corner?"

Xemnas stopped him, "Are you listening?"

"Somewhat."

"Stop." He gave Saïx a small shake. "Listen. You were acting out at the meeting. I don't appreciate that. You disrespected me and the others, especially our new member. Now you're blaming it on a stupid number. I won't take that as an excuse."

Saïx glared but didn't say anything snotty. He gave a small nod, "Of course, Superior." He moved to turn and stepped on something, causing him to lose his footing and fall down a set of stairs. There were several crashes and Xemnas watched as some type of paint came flinging all over his beautiful white walls. He groaned and went down carefully, stopping to see Saïx completely covered in light blue paint.

"I can't believe…."

Xigbar came through a door and frowned as he saw what had happened, "Oops. Well shoot. Xemnas, you said you wanted that one chip in the wall covered up, so I was going to cover it with some paint….but I guess not anymore." Xigbar went to remove the can from Saïx and more spilled out. He quickly tipped it to stop it from doing so, but noticed the can was empty. "Yeah, good thing it wasn't an entire wall you wanted cover, eh?"

Saïx stood up slowly and wiped paint from his face. He glared at Xemnas, "You're right. Numbers could never do this to me."

Xemnas frowned, "You're just having a bad day is all."

Saïx slowly stripped his cloak off, "Yeah, obviously." His eyes stared at his paint covered cloak and a smirk came to his face. With one swift move he smeared it onto Xemnas. As it was removed Xemnas looked absolutely horrified. "That's hot." He rubbed Xemnas's hair with a paint covered hand and watched the Superior growl at him.

"Not my hair, you idiot!"

"Aha, oh no, I ruined your precious locks. We'll have to give you a hair cut."

Xemnas glared, "Not until I cut yours first."

Saïx laughed. Full out laughed, "I can't believe you're getting upset over this. This is rich."

"It's not funny, you got me covered in paint because you're clumsy!"

"Clumsy? Oh, that must be code for 'Number 7'."

Xigbar watched the two somewhat bemused, "I have to admit, Superior, it is funny that you're overreacting to your hair getting paint in it."

"How would you feel if you got paint in your hair?"

Xigbar shrugged, "Wouldn't know, don't have feelings! Eh?"

Xemnas sighed and tried to remove some of the paint, "Be that way. This still has nothing to do with the number 7. You're being clumsy because you're thinking about how unlucky you are, which is causing you to do stupid and irrational things."

"I lost my footing. How could I purposefully do that?"

"You should pay attention to where you walk."

"You know…" Saïx paused and smirked, "This is the fastest I've ever heard you talk."

Xigbar gave a snort and turned away pretending to look at cracks in the wall. He didn't want to be involved in Saïx's soon demise.

"What?" Xemnas asked slowly.

"When you're angry you talk faster. Normally you talk really slow. At first it threw me off because I thought that you thought I was stupid, which kind of made me angry, but then I just realized you're the slow one. So I forgive you." Saïx shrugged, "No hard feelings."

Xemnas continued to glare at him but didn't reply, only opened a portal and left the area.

"Did I say something wrong..?" Saïx questioned Xigbar. Xigbar shrugged and kept staring at the cracks.

"If I were you…I wouldn't have brought up anything. Throwing paint on his hair was bad enough, but bringing in the way he talks? Harsh."

"He doesn't even have feelings. He doesn't know how to react to what I said."

Xigbar shrugged, "True, which is why it's a bad thing. He's going to be thinking about it for hours now."

"On why he talks slow?"

"No, how he should react to being told he talks slow."

Saïx blinked and shook his head, "That's…."

"Xemnas for ya," Xigbar finished for him and nodded his head at Saïx's painted body, "You might want to clean up before that dries." Saïx touched the wet paint in his own hair and sighed. _I hate 7. That's official. It's been official for a long time, but I want it to be more official than it was ten seconds ago._

It was after a long shower of tediously pulling paint from his hair and body that Saïx had returned to wandering the halls again, heading in no specific direction. He shouldn't even be out and about, but the need to burn energy was constantly there. It was at that time he ran into Axel who was lounging about in one of the living areas. He looked rather relaxed as he was stretched across a chair.

"Enjoying your non-existent life?" Saïx remarked without any infliction of his voice. He was trying to practice being lifeless, which was hard when there was a new person around to ask question and to bother. Not that Axel was of any interest to him. He looked stupid.

"Yeah, it's pretty comfortable. That uh…that guy that talks really slow—"

"Xemnas."

"Yeah. He's got a nice castle. Glad I'm welcome here, eh?"

"You might want to remember everyone's names before you get sent to the streets."

Axel nodded and sat up more, "You're the bitchy one that abides by the rules I'm assuming?"

_Eh. What's that supposed to mean? I'm somewhat snappy, but I don't think I'm a bitch. And I think I've broken more rules than I've followed. Could you really blame me?_

"Actually you're wrong. I'm the temperamental monster that changes unexpectedly if you don't play nice with me. It's all right, though, I only bite when I'm angry." Saïx flashed a devilish grin. Axel leaned forward and stared at Saïx curiously before lying back in his chair.

"So…you're the moody one. Okay. Explains why you were snippy this morning. What about the others? Xemnas is the pimp daddy, right?"

"If you mean God…then I suppose so."

"He seems kind of…" Axel moved his hand slightly, unable to describe it until something came to him. "Not…all there."

"Because he talks slow?"

"Kind of. He just seems…vacant in all expression."

"Yeah…I know what you mean. But everyone here is like that." Saïx took a seat and looked over at Axel, "It happens when you let them get to your head."

Axel repositioned and smirked, "They said you were new, too. How's it been while you've dawdled in this castle?"

"They beat me, starved me, and chained me to a few beds while they had their way with me. Aside from that, it isn't too terrible."

Axel's smile fell from his face, "Who had their way with you?"

"Mostly Xemnas. Those clothes you're wearing? Yeah. He dressed you. He's got a fetish for touching people."

Axel sat up and grabbed onto his body, "Seriously?"

"Yup. He's as straight as a circle. The best way to avoid him is to over exaggerate everything you say and make rude comments about him, but in a sarcastic way. It's working rather well for me so far." _Why am I making this shit up?_

"I'll remember that…" Axel mumbled. His eyes went to the door as Xemnas had showed up, "Well look what the cat dragged in!"

Xemnas gave a curious look, "What cat?"

Saïx smirked, "Meow."

Xemnas glared, "I've been looking for you."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "For how long?"

"Two hours."

"Oh, I was in the shower."

"For two hours?"

"I thought you were going to try and join me. Well whatever, maybe you'll think of it next time. You're normally on top of these things." Saïx stood up and moved to follow Xemnas out, eyes going over to Axel and shaking his head pitifully. Axel frowned as the two left. "So what were we going to discuss?"

Xemnas continued to walk, "You'll find out in a minute, won't you?"

Saïx frowned, "Is that meant in a sexual way or…"

Xemnas's eyes gave Saïx that 'get serious' look. "Something completely different."

"If it's about my habit for not waking up in the morning there's perfect reasons for that."

"No, it wasn't anything related to a bed…or how long you sleep."

"Are you sure? I know you like to dress me in the morning….but that can be hard when I'm completely out."

Xemnas shook his head, "You like it that way."

"You could wake me up just a little bit so I can enjoy you fondling my hips. I know that's probably your favorite part of my body. Am I wrong?"

Xemnas kept walking, "Last time our hips collided I remember they were boney and extremely uncomfortable against my own. If I had to pick a favorite body part on you it'd be your back. The front has too many sharp teeth and has a really nasty attitude, plus a reputation for disrespecting authority."

Saïx kept walking as he listened to Xemnas. _Did he seriously just admit he liked a part of my body? Or was he just saying if he had to…no, I'm pretty sure he was serious. That's odd. No, that's great. If Xemnas is already picking favorites on my body, then I could easily be his favorite. Not that I really want to be his favorite, he doesn't even like me. Especially since he doesn't like my front. Too many sharp teeth? I guess he's just hates me when I turn into a beast…but that can't really be helped…Well it kind of can be, but it's my power, so inevitably he'd still hate me no matter what. Gah. Fail._

They stopped outside and Saïx glanced around, moving nicely into the shadows of the building, "And we're out here…because?"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "Because you're afraid of the moonlight and you're completely cornered. That's the only shadow you'll have for the next hour until Kingdom Hearts moves again."

"All right…" _Thank you for pointing out that I'm scared of getting insane. Not my fault I don't want to break your face open. Well, I do but I don't. It's too pretty to desecrate._

"I find it very offensive that you'd disrespect me the way you have today."

Saïx blinked, "When did I do that? Was it the paint? I was playing around, it happens when you're having a bad day and you're trying to make it better. But you wouldn't know what a bad day is…considering you're not cursed by…what'd you call it? 'Clumsy'. Yeah."

"Saïx, your outrageous views on the number 7 only happens because you realize it and blow it out of portion. Bad things happen because you will them to. And anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. You're stupid and we both know that."

Saïx frowned, "That isn't nice. I've lived a rather pitiful life thanks to that number. And I would know it, not you. Also, yes I have tried to think on the brighter side of '7' and believe me…it doesn't work."

"I'm sure you have."

"I do! Once I woke up to take a shower and the head hit me in the face and sent me into a concussion. I didn't even think about 7 until after I got better."

"That's just you having a crappy shower experience."

"Want to hear a good shower experience?"

Xemnas shook his head, "No. It probably involves you alone and your hand."

Saïx crossed his arms over his chest, "Do you really think I—"

"Yes."

Saïx hesitated and sighed, "You wanted to talk about something else."

"Correct."

They fell silent again and Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Are you…going to start anytime soon?"

"I'm making sure you're focused. Sometimes you talk about other things that are completely irrelevant. Such as you showering."

"Well I'm focused."

Xemnas nodded, "Then what was the first thing I said to you out here?"

"I'm remembering something about you finding me disrespectful."

"Good, you actually use those ears for something besides looking like an elf wannabe."

Saïx glared, "You make it sound like I've had surgery to alter my appearance. But that's not the point, is it? What did I do that made you angry with me?"

Xemnas sighed and tilted his head, "Do you remember anything from this morning?"

Saïx fell silent. _I woke up and thought about how much I'd like to grind my body into yours. I probably shouldn't say that. It'd get us off topic._ "I remember sitting at a table. And talking to Axel."

"No, you SULKED at the table and made snide comments as Axel was being introduced to our group."

"You're upset that I'm not a morning person. Okay."

"You could have went along and pretended that you somewhat cared so that Axel won't blow this entire thing off as a bunch of idiots living together in a castle for no reason but to gather more people to screw around with!"

"Fine. Next person you get I'll be exuberantly happy to. I'll offer to dress them while they're asleep, too. That'll thrill them."

Xemnas glared, "Stop it."

"Stop what? I can't fix my mistake. Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

Xemnas fell silent and crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from him, "You also insulted me."

"When?"

"In front of Xigbar."

"By putting paint on you? Desecrating your gorgeous locks?"

Xemnas shook his head, "Not that. You said I talked slow."

Saïx went silent before smirking, "Wait. This entire conversation was just about this, wasn't it? But you didn't want to bring it up because you think that I'll think it's dumb to be upset over such a thing."

Xemnas glared, "That has nothing to do with it."

Saïx laughed, "Yeah it does."

"No. It. Doesn't."

Saïx put his hands on his hips, raising his eyebrows, "All right. Then what's the big deal?"

"I…don't appreciate that you would say such a thing."

"That I pointed out you talk slow unless you're angry?"

"Yes. It's offensive."

"It shouldn't be."

"It's the way I am, you make it seem as if I'm flawed."

"It is a flaw, but that doesn't make it a bad thing."

"Talking slow isn't a flaw."

"Fine. But it's different which makes it unusual, which is why I pointed it out. You probably wouldn't talk that way if you didn't have amnesia."

Xemnas glared, "I don't have amnesia."

"You don't know who you are."

"That's because I don't have a heart—"

"No. Before this happened. You just showed up and the others found you."

"Who told you that," Xemnas demanded of him.

"Would it matter? You don't remember things because of that incident. From what I heard you didn't really speak all that much."

"That's not any of your business."

"What, that you were anti-social?"

"I couldn't help it."

Saïx shrugged, "So?"

"It's not something I want to discuss. I only wanted you to know that I don't want you saying anything like that about me again."

"You make it sound like I accused you of mating with dolphins. I pointed out something about you. You do the same thing to me all the time, as does everyone else. But we're not allowed to do those things if it involves your quirks? That's just stupid."

"What about you have I pointed out that upsets you?"

Saïx sighed and started to count off of his fingers, "Doubted me about my real life experiences based on 'clumsy', you blatantly told me to my face that you don't like my appearance—"

"When did I say that?"

"You just told me awhile back that you liked my back out of my entire body because it has 'less sharp teeth'."

"It's a truthful statement, but I never said that I didn't like your appearance."

Saïx rolled his eyes, "And I said you talked slow. That was a truthful statement, but I never said it was a bad thing. So why get upset over it?"

"Because I can't control something like that," Xemnas remarked after a minute of thinking it over.

"I can't control my teeth getting sharp, you can't control your speech defect."

"It's not a defect!"

"Cry about it! We're screwed up, but who isn't? If I went up to Xigbar and made fun of him missing an eye he would be in the same boat as us! Or Xaldin's hair, or Zexion's short stature, Axel's outrageously skinny body, Vexen's age, Lexaeus's build…you're only upset I brought anything up because you don't like being put on the spot. I'm guessing you didn't want me to question why you talked slow, but I already know why you do, so why bother yelling at me about it? Afraid I'll go about to everyone else and talk? But what would you know…they already know and they don't care!"

Xemnas shook his head, "I would rather pretend no one notices rather than know that they're acting like it isn't there."

Saïx sighed, "Fine. I won't say anything about you ever again. At least in a true and personal sense."

Xemnas frowned, "What do you mean?"

Saïx shrugged, "This just means I can make up things about you. You can't get upset over something that isn't true."

Xemnas exasperated before holding up a hand, "Whatever. We're finished talking."

Saïx watched as Xemnas moved from his spot and left him alone in the shadow. _That was interesting. I offended someone that can't even feel offended. Oh well, at least he isn't crying over it._

Saïx moved off in his own direction, finding a place to lounge about. This castle was definitely nice. It wasn't long for the others to move in on him and find their seats around him. Everyone was there expect for Xemnas and Axel. "What's this?"

"Just a little meeting without the Superior." Xigbar replied and smirked, "We've wanted to ask you a few things."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Okay? I'm listening."

"Zexion, go ahead and ask him," Xigbar mumbled and Zexion pointed at himself. "Yeah you."

Zexion looked at the others as they nodded for him to go ahead and a small sigh escaped him, "They want to know what you and the Superior do at night."

Saïx thought this over. _Would it necessarily ruin Xemnas's image if I started making up crap? Not like these guys would go to him, would they? Nor would they really believe me, I think. Hell, let's have fun._ "Aside from sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Sex."

Everyone paused. Vexen raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yeah. He's got amazing rhythm to him. Never experienced something that nice before."

They went silent again before Xaldin spoke up, "When did this start happening?"

"The day after he chained me to his bed. Kinky and rough is just something I enjoy."

Xigbar opened his mouth and closed it before opening it again, "Are you on top or him?"

Zexion shook his head, "I can't believe we're discussing this."

"Xemnas likes to be a leader to a bunch of people, but in bed not so much," Saïx answered.

"So you're the alpha dog," Xaldin mumbled.

Vexen shrugged, "Maybe Xemnas gets tired of always being the boss of everyone? He's probably got a fetish for being someone else's peon."

They fell silent again before Zexion shook his head, "That's so wrong."

"He's got nice hips," Saïx replied and the others started to mumble wondering whether his hips really were that nice or not. "He's not very flexible, though."

Vexen shrugged, "Sex can fix that."

"So could aerobics," Zexion mumbled.

"Sex feels better. It's more rewarding," Xigbar commented.

Lexaeus shook his head, "Lies."

They all looked at him for an explanation. He only glared at Saïx.

"Who, me?"

"Yes."

"About what?"

"Xemnas."

"I'm not lying."

"Xemnas is only interested in using you, not enjoying you. He sees a dog. Not a person."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Must be into bestiality, then."

"I trust Xemnas over you because he has control. You do not."

Saïx frowned slightly but shrugged, "Think what you want, then. I'm only answering questions."

Xigbar grunted, "What….was that?"

Saïx looked up, "What was what?"

"You. You didn't fight back or say that you're better than what he just said. Where's the anger?"

"Because he said I have no control?"

"Yeah. I was expecting some heat."

"Can't really deny the truth, can I?"

They thought it over quietly. Xaldin rose, "You must be losing your moodiness…either that…or you're holding back. Either way, it's impressive."

Saïx watched the group get up and leave, Zexion the only one remaining. His eyes went over to him as the man had his feet up on his seat, legs crossed. "Why aren't you leaving?"

"You're not really…sleeping with him, are you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You wouldn't have to impress him with control over your powers if you were. So you must be lying about something."

Saïx shook his head, "I'm not. He said he'd sleep with me if I learned how to control myself."

Zexion frowned, "You're not serious, are you?"

"I am."

"But….why would he say that?"

"Because…he knows I want to?"

Zexion looked at Saïx confused and gave a puzzling stare, "Why do you want to sleep with him?"

_I don't even know the real answer to that question. I've been hungry for sex for so long, I think he just became my target because he's always around. If anyone else agreed…I think I'd go ahead and do it with them._ "I….don't really know."

Zexion frowned, "Then why have sex if you don't know why you want him? You could just be grasping for attention…or you're trying to remember what it's like to be intimate again."

"I'm surprised you're not freaked out by this conversation."

"I'm starting to get used to weird things happening around here. I just don't see what has you attracted to him."

"Would you like it to be you?"

Zexion shook his head quickly, "No! He just…never seems that expressive. At least for something like that. So why pick out someone who doesn't even seem interested?"

Saïx shrugged, "I thought he was gay so I targeted him. He's pretty hot. Might as well move in. He's an easy target. It's just getting what I want from him that's hard."

"You've…tried before?"

"Yeah. A few times, actually."

"And he hasn't kicked you out of his room completely?"

"No…not yet."

They both went silent in thought. Saïx finally spoke up again, "He must either want to try it out but is afraid to try…or.."

"Or he's keeping you around because he's interested in you and doesn't want to scare you off."

"This is one shitty game of cat and mouse." Saïx stood up.

"Where are you going?" Zexion asked somewhat startled and moved to get up, feet hitting the ground as he had leapt up.

"I'm going to go bother him. I like seeing what he's doing. Besides, I've left him alone for more than 20 minutes, he might be having too much fun without me."

Zexion felt dumbfounded as Saïx moved off. That boy was absolutely insane…

Saïx moved around a corner and entered into Xemnas's room, watching the man work away at some file or other. _Why is he always doing paperwork? Maybe he's actually doodling because he has nothing better to do? Either that…or he's just avoiding me by enclosing himself in his moonlit bathed room. I should be blunt about what I want, right? Maybe taking my clothes off and getting on top of his desk would win him over? No, he freezes up when I do that and then gets snappy._

Xemnas kept up his work without looking at him. Finally Saïx reached his desk and leaned on it, "Hey." Xemnas glanced up but went back to work. He frowned and got closer, raising an eyebrow, "Hello?" Xemnas didn't respond. "Are you ignoring me?" The man continued his work diligently. _I can't believe it. He's actually ignoring me. What did I do again that upset him? Oh yeah, said he talked slow. Maybe he's not talking because of that?_ "I'm thinking of visiting my family again. What do you think? I'm pretty sure they'll want me back, they must have overreacted last time they saw me." Nothing. "It usually takes two people to have a conversation, but if I have to talk to myself I guess I will." Still nothing. "Well I'm going to pretend you said 'have fun' and I'll just smile and say 'of course I will!'" No response. Saïx shrugged and concentrated, opening up a portal. _I'm getting pretty good at this!_

"You're not going anywhere," Xemnas ordered and the portal vanished faster than it appeared. "Get out."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "What did I do to you?"

"I shouldn't have to repeat myself."

"I just want to know what I did wrong…"

Xemnas shook his head, "Go to your room."

Saïx tilted his head curiously but finally gave him. What was the point? He moved from the room and went to his own. Maybe the guy was in a bad mood for other reasons, and seeing him wasn't helping? Quite possible…

7777777

_Another dream, another nightmare, another memory._

_I was lying deep in the grass, feeling pain shooting up through my leg and into my body. What was this feeling?_

"_Make it stop!" escaped my mouth, my struggling for freedom seemed futile. What was I struggling from? There was nothing there, was there?_

"_Someone!! Help!!" I screamed. My eyes went to the blackened night sky, seeing that giant full moon above me. It was so bright, landing down against my body. I can't see the color, but I know that blood is flowing from my leg. The pain gets sharper, more intense. "Please, God, is anyone out there??" I had let another yell echo through the night, an owl returning a call to me. No one else._

_Next to me past the grass I could see the blurred scene become clear. A car was turned, a slight dent in its front. The lights shone onto me in a blinding manner. "Please…hear me…"_

_A shadow moved in front of the lights, the silhouette appearing before me. "Help me!"_

_They approached, but what they did wasn't to help me. I felt something hit against my body, something metal and hard. My screams came out sharp and agonizing but it didn't end. The attacker didn't stop until I was crying I was in so much pain. I sounded so young, those cries for help so high and scared. How old am I?_

"_Daddy…daddy…why? Why?" I cried out loud, choking in my own tears._

Saïx awoke with a start, sweating and panting completely as he sat up from his bed. Another dream. A nightmare…

He wiped at his brow and took a deep breath, looking up at the time. How long had this been going on? He felt so hot…and disgusting.

But that memory….

He got up and grabbed the journal, opening it up to the front page. He started this a few years ago…but he didn't seem that old in the dream. How long ago was that? He shoved the journal down and moved off to Xemnas's room. As he entered he found the place dark with moonlight pouring in from a small opening of the curtain. It was wide enough to brighten the place. His eyes caught the figure that was sleeping in bed.

Slowly Saïx moved over and glanced down at him. Asleep, as he expected. He grabbed him and gave him a firm shake, "Xemnas. Xemnas!"

The man woke up and growled, "Saïx, would you stop? I don't want to talk right now."

"I had a nightmare—"

"Good. Go away."

"Well it relates to—"

"It can wait until the morning. Get out."

"I…" Saïx fell silent. "You're right. Sorry." He moved away and glanced at the moon, "It isn't that important anyway…" He went back to his room and got dressed, hoping that would keep him up. Sleeping in this room caused him to remember things that…he didn't want to remember. A small sigh escaped him as he continued to replay the incident in his head. Where had he been hit, anyway?

Saïx blinked and pulled up his shirt, glancing at his stomach. A scar…a weird scar was on his side. Why hadn't he questioned why it was there before? Had it always been there? _I can't remember…but…it must have been the one that I received from the dream. Because…I hadn't realized it existed until the memory reminded me of it. Why did my dad beat me, anyway? What had I done?_

He sunk onto his bed, and before he knew it had fallen asleep again.

"_Are you awake?"_

_I can't hear anything else but that. It won't stop echoing in my head. Who is this person? Where…am I?_

"_Do you understand me?" It's a doctor. They're looming over me, curiously inspecting my eyes and my reactions._

"_Yes."_

"_You were hit by a car. Do you remember?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Well…the person hit you…and then severely beat you to death. You should be glad you're still alive."_

"_How…who…"_

"_We don't know yet. We need to contact your parents. How old are you?"_

"_I don't remember…"_

_My vision blurred, and when I looked again I could see my mom looming over me. That face. So disappointed. So disliking of me. "You've done it again."_

"_What did I do?"_

"_Sometimes…I wonder…what would have happened if you had died at birth, much like the others…"_

"_Mommy…"_

"_I think you would have caused me less grief."_

"_I…I'm sorry…"_

"_Just go back to bed. I don't want to talk to you right now…"_

Saïx woke up again and found that another hour had passed. He decided to take and yet another shower. He wasn't sure why that was comforting, but it was. More than trying to sleep.

When he finished he found Xemnas in his room.

"What—"

"I find it unusual for someone to take a shower at 3 in the morning…especially since they woke me up an hour before saying they wanted to talk."

"I…just…" Saïx shook his head, "You didn't want to talk, so I guess it doesn't matter."

"You said you had a nightmare. Something that gave you a memory. What was it?"

Saïx shrugged and went to the window. It still hadn't been replaced. He played with the shade that was covering it, making it darker, "My dad beat me one night."

"When?"

"I'm not sure. I was pretty young I think. It was really painful…I…remembered getting a scar from it," Saïx pointed at the one on his side, "But I'm not sure why he did it."

"What exactly did he do?"

"Hit me with a car…and beat me to death…with a crowbar I think. I just remember screaming 'daddy' and waking up in the hospital. And…my mom…"

"What of her?"

"She…well she said it would have been better if I died at birth."

Xemnas fell silent and shook his head, "You wanted to tell me this?"

"Yeah. Uh…there was a full moon the night it happened. I thought it was a link to my powers or something…kind of dumb to think that."

"No, it's relevant. It must be pretty traumatic to have your own father beat you and your mother dismiss your existence."

Saïx looked away and then over at Xemnas, "Why were you angry at me?"

"Xaldin told me you had bragged about having sex with me."

Saïx gapped and crossed his arms over his chest, "I was joking."

"They obviously took you seriously. I've been approached quite a few times already about it."

Saïx sighed, "Zexion's the only one who knows the truth."

"What, that you're a compulsive liar?"

"That if I can control myself I can sleep with you."

Xemnas stood up, "You told him that?"

"Yeah."

"Saïx—"

"I know! It was stupid to say to someone else…but…he made me realize something."

"What?"

"That…you are interested in seeing my actions, and you're afraid to lose me."

Xemnas shook his head, "No. I'm trying to get you to learn how to control yourself because you're insane."

Saïx glared, "I am not."

"Besides….I lied about having sex with you. I wasn't going to do it. By the time you controlled your powers you'd probably be too lifeless and uncaring to want it."

Saïx opened his mouth and shut it. Finally he spoke up, "You lied to me?"

"Of course I lied to you, I wasn't actually going to keep such an outlandish promise."

Saïx crossed his arms over his chest, "Why would you do that?"

"Because you're narrow-minded and you'd do anything to get what you want."

"I wanted to impress you."

"You don't. At all."

Saïx leaned against his wall, "Then why would you care if I improved or not? It's not like it benefits you any."

"It does. You'll stop your tantrums and outrageous behavior, and hopefully quit your thoughts on feelings."

Saïx's eyes began to turn yellow, "You want me to stop my behavior, and yet you purposefully lied to me thinking I wouldn't care at all. You're a hypocrite. You tell me it's offensive that I disrespected you, but you completely lie and manipulate me and believe that's the way I should be treated. That's what everyone here has been taught. All of you see me as the same thing. A monster!" Saïx came forward, breathing harder as his fangs began to protrude, his muscles tensed and veins started to pop out. "When you look at my face you don't even see a human, you see an untamed animal that needs to be put in its place. You don't even know or care about what I've lived through, nor will you ever. You want to use me….and that is what fuels my anger. Because you're repeating what everyone else did in my life!" A snarling growl escaped his throat as he finished his last sentence, the rage overtaking him finally.

Xemnas continued to stand there, somewhat frozen in his spot. He didn't know whether to leave the boy to destroy his room some more or to try and calm him. A thought passed through his mind. It was now or never. "Don't take your past difficulties out on me. If they abused you then maybe you should repay them; I am not the one who destroyed your life. I am here to give you a second chance…unlike what your parents did…and those people you called 'friends'. They rejected you because of what you are. I'm trying to help you in a way so that you CAN live a life without the hassle of an uncontrollable ability. They wouldn't do that. They would have thrown you away like they did before."

Saïx growled again and calmed slightly, "You don't know about them—"

"I do."

"How?"

"I…read your journal."

Saïx felt his hairs stand on end, "You lied to me about that, too?"

"I shouldn't have, but it was necessary that I know about your past. I knew something was fueling your frustrations, and I wanted to help. I was going to pretend that I hadn't read it because I wanted you to personally open up to me. It was wrong to do such a thing—"

"You violated my personal space! It was more than wrong!"

"I know that. But reading it just shows that none of them liked you!"

Saïx completely calmed down and shook his head, "That isn't true."

"The last few pages are proof—"

Saïx blinked, "I never read all of it."

Xemnas fell silent. So, Saïx hadn't read the part that he put in there? A shame…but now… "You need to. What you put in there…hints to what probably happened to you that caused your death."

Saïx hesitated before going over to the journal and opening it up, flipping through the pages that were in it. He neared the end of it and glared at Xemnas before sitting down on his bed to glance it over. "Somewhere around July?"

"I believe so."

Xemnas watched the boy read the last few entrances. He tried to calculate how upset Saïx would be reading it all. Would he throw a fit? Break something? Or would he take it calmly and say it doesn't matter? Perhaps he'd surprise him?

'_I've only an hour to write down a few things. My parents have kicked me out of the house after they found out about Flower and me. We were caught not too long ago in my room. Needless to say they weren't happy. I've never seen them that upset with me before, but I'm used to it. It feels like the lowest of lows, but I've felt worse. Much worse than this._

_The news about it spread quickly. Well, my dad threw a fit about it…and the rest is history. I don't have anyone to support me on it. My friends completely abandoned me once they caught wind of the entire thing. I never really thought they'd all betray me…_

_At least…not Flower. We've been together for awhile…and I thought we would make it through this. That's all a lie. I should have known that no one could ever like someone like me. I'm a monster compared to anyone else. There's nothing worthy about me. I'm a giant disappointment. And only one person made me feel different on those ideas. Today was when I found out…even that person believes I'm nothing. I caught him with someone else. At the time it happened I wasn't even sure if I should say anything or continue to watch as I knew my only real friend wasn't a friend at all. Not even someone to love. The confrontation was nerve-wracking…only because I knew what he was going to say would destroy everything I forced myself to believe. I forced myself to think he loved me. And right there he said he didn't. He pitied me. Just like everyone else did. Those feelings, the love we had, everything was fake. I was nothing. That had topped it all off. We were over if there was anything to begin with. 7 months of my life, wasted._

_Ironic._

_Now…I'm completely by myself._

_My dad threatened to kill me if he saw me ever again. And for once I think I'd be happy with that.'_

Saïx continued to stare at the entry before throwing it across the room, watching a few pages and pictures fall out. He put his head down and sighed as his hands supported him. _What am I even supposed to do in this situation? I'm nothing to everyone. They all hated me. I was cheated and humiliated._

"Don't you see they never wanted you around in the first place?" Xemnas finally said in his slow tone.

"Shut up!" Saïx screamed. His fangs protruding again as the rage rushed inside him, the throbbing sickness of his power was starting to make him feel extremely unstable. As if he was going to pass out because of how exhausting it was. "I don't belong here or there. I know that, you don't have to remind me."

"I never said you didn't belong here."

"I made up my mind." Saïx growled and moved away from him, eyes staring at the curtained window, "It's your fault I don't fit in anywhere. This stupid power…"

"I didn't give you such powers."

Saïx whipped around and grabbed onto Xemnas, eyes glowing again, "You lied to me! Several times! I have every right to blame you for everything!"

"You created your own powers with your experiences in life—"

"That's a lie! You're lying to me!"

"No, I'm not," Xemnas replied calmly as Saïx threw a tantrum. The man destroyed a part of his wall, letting his snarling growl explode from his lungs. As a large part of his room was demolished he began to weaken, but the rage caused his mind to completely haze over. His thoughts were no longer clear, and what little control he had was gone. Saïx's monstrous behavior became outlandish and careless, and the first person he attacked was obviously Xemnas.

The Superior took a defensive position throughout the entire tantrum, unsure of whether to knock the man out or let him wear out. Oddly, though, Saïx's powers weren't stopping. The room wasn't even bathed in moonlight, and yet Saïx's Berserk mode continued as if he couldn't change back. As if…his body and mind were stuck in one gear. Once that thought hit Xemnas he grabbed the air freshener and sprayed it, watching as Zexion entered somewhat sleepy and frazzled. "I need you to help me with Saïx. He's not turning back the way he should."

Zexion watched as Saïx's glowing eyes landed on them, snarling like a deranged monster. "How shall we do that?"

"I've tried wearing him out, but he's not even tired so far."

"We could try talking. Perhaps the others will come in soon? I know you woke me up enough as it was with Saïx ripping down an entire wall."

Xemnas threw up a shield as Saïx started to fight again, watching as his attacks deflected against the shield. "I don't know if he understands anything we're saying. First let's try to at least pin him down…we'll need Xaldin and Lexaeus."

Zexion nodded, "I'll get them."

Xemnas waited for Zexion to return, watching Saïx as he thrashed and struggled to get to him, attacks still deflecting against the shield he had up. Xaldin and Lexaeus stepped right into action once they entered. Lexaeus smashed his tomahawk into Saïx while Xaldin let his lances fly through the air and pin parts of him down, being careful enough not to stick his limbs. The man ripped away from the trap, though, and came at all of them. Zexion whipped his hand and his book appeared. As he flipped the page open a spell flung from it and ice encased Saïx. There was a moment of silence as everyone tried to catch their breath. Whatever just happened seemed like a terrible nightmare more than anything else.

"Is he…finished?" Zexion whispered curiously. Xaldin moved forward and stared closely at the ice.

"No. He's just getting started." As soon as he finished his sentence the ice broke and Saïx flung at him, weapon coming out and striking the man roughly against his ribcage. Xaldin fell but quickly recovered, blasting wind to push Saïx back before he could get in another hit. "Why won't he stop? He's not that strong nor does he have enough stamina to continue, but he is still standing…"

"No moonlight…" Lexaeus mumbled.

"Maybe something happened in his mind?" Zexion remarked before opening to a new page. "Hmm…Axel's powers are here."

"Try it out on him," Xemnas ordered.

"Are you sure? What if it's something dangerous?" Zexion asked before dodging a claymore coming at his head.

"Do it anyway! He's unstable, we can't do anything else with him until we get him back to normal!"

Zexion nodded and muttered what was on the page, holding his hand up as he faced Saïx. Bright flames erupted the entire room and at first it seemed everyone was on fire. But once the light fell low they could only see that Saïx was hit badly. His back was covered in burns. The automatic sprinkler system suddenly went off and they were soaked in water, unmoving as they continued to stare at Saïx. The man twitched as the water hit his tender and raw skin, his face turned away from them.

"Saïx," Xemnas said as he moved toward him. The Superior stopped right in front of him and began to bend down when Saïx whipped a clawed hand right onto the back of his thigh. He let out a small yell, but it wasn't much to show that he was even affected by the scratch. "He's still in Berserk mode."

"At least he's not moving. We can get Vexen to drug him and—"

"No. I'm not letting Vexen give him anymore drugs."

Zexion stepped forward, "Xemnas, he's hurt. Keeping him awake is going to only hurt him anyway—"

"Vexen doesn't need to get involved in this right now. Besides…you suggested that we try talking to him."

"I didn't know that he was this snappy, though! Xemnas, if you're not careful—" Xemnas waved his hand for Zexion to stop talking and he got closer to Saïx again.

"Saïx," Xemnas called to the lost figure, watching as the beast met him face to face. It was almost like calling a dog over to figure out why it had made a mess on the carpet. "Saïx…do you understand me?"

_Is…someone calling my name? Is that my name? Or is it someone else's? I hear something…someone near me…but who is it? I feel so tired. What is going on? Who wants me? They're saying something to me but I don't understand what it is…_

_What's…wrong with me?_

"Saïx?"

Saïx opened his eyes wide and moved to stand up. _They're saying something to me. Who is that voice I'm hearing? It's…so far away…they sound familiar, too. What do they want? Where have they gone?_ His actions caused him to sway and start to fall. Xemnas maneuvered to catch him, but the force from Saïx's imbalance caused him to fall back. He winced as he stared at Saïx, the others coming over slowly to try and help him up. Lexaeus had moved the curtain to shed the light in on them, trying to see what exactly was happening since it was so dark. As soon as the moonlight hit Saïx he passed out.

7777777

"_Saïx." A voice hit my ears, soft and breathy as it reached me. A warm, moist kiss touched my neck. There was Flower but he looked different. "Saïx."_

_How did he know that name? My name wasn't Saïx before, was it? So why is he calling me that?_

"_Saïx..."_

_Why?_

"_You're dreaming again. This time…things won't be happy after all."_

_I moved to sit up, "What?"_

"_Don't move." Flower crawled on top of me and licked up my neck slowly, but he started to change._

"_Who are you?"_

_Then suddenly it was Xemnas atop of me, those beautiful blazing orange eyes so close to mine. "I'm your Superior."_

"_My Superior?"_

"_Don't you remember?"_

Saïx felt the dream feeling wear off. He hadn't been dreaming. His thoughts had just happened. "Did you just lick me?"

Xemnas stared at Saïx and glanced over at Vexen wondering whether to answer that or not. Vexen shrugged and waved his hand to explain what was going on. "No, I didn't. Why would I?"

Saïx rubbed his temple and glanced around, "What happened?" A hiss escaped him and he moved to sit in a better position, "It feels like someone tried to burn me to death…"

"Well…we did. Except it was to stop you from moving more than to kill you."

Saïx let his eyes register his surroundings. The lab area with Vexen standing close by with a chart in his hand. Xemnas was before him with a curious look as well. "Why?"

"You went into Berserk mode and didn't come out of it."

"And…you fought me?"

"Not really—"

"Did I do that?" Saïx nodded at Xemnas's thigh. The part of his pant leg was rather torn, and underneath was some gauze showing.

"Yes." Xemnas glanced from the injury and over to Vexen, "I think he's feeling better."

Vexen frowned, "Are you certain? He might need to stay in here some more."

"No, he just needs some rest. If he gets rowdy again I know how to stop him."

Vexen sighed, "Fine."

Xemnas tugged on Saïx to get up and leave, and the two made it out of the lab area. Saïx held onto Xemnas as they walked through the hallway. "Not my room," Saïx demanded.

"What?"

"I…don't want to go in my room. Whenever I sleep in there it gives me odd dreams."

"Dreams that were once memories?"

"…Yeah…"

"And you're hiding from them…why?"

"Because…they're not good. They remind me of feelings. And thinking of feelings is what causes me to be snappy, right? So…I don't want to sleep in there."

"I see," Xemnas replied as they walked past the room and headed for his. The rest of the Organization would think he's insane to let the man back into his room again. But…for some reason he couldn't help himself. The boy just needed some shelter and some time to clear things out of his head. "You should get some sleep."

Saïx sat on the bed and hissed, "Auuugh…god that hurts." His eyes noticed the bandages on him. _Why hadn't I noticed those before? They're all over me!_ "How much is burnt?"

"Your entire back."

"Wonderful," Saïx grumbled and lay down, only to find that being on his back was painful. "Who did it?"

"Would it matter if you knew?"

Saïx thought it over and flipped to lay on his stomach, finding it much more comfortable, "Probably not."

"Then don't worry about it." Xemnas stripped his clothes and got on his side of the bed, glancing over at the bandaged back that was in his view. After a small pause he wondered what else he should say. "I'm surprised you're not still angry with me."

"Over what?"

"That…I lied to you."

"What's the point. Everyone lies to me, I should get used to it."

Xemnas sat up, "Do you really think that or are you just saying that?" There wasn't a response. He moved over and leaned across Saïx, looking at his face. Saïx raised an eyebrow at him before settling back down against his pillow.

"Worry about it."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Guess you'll find out, won't you?"

Xemnas sighed and pulled back, though he didn't lie down, "I find it hard to understand you sometimes."

"What are you confused about?"

"I'm surprised that you're not in my face asking me questions…or bothering me about something…you're just lying there."

"I'm burnt. I hurt. And you don't want to look at me anyway, so why bother in torturing you enough as it is?"

"Since when did I say—"

"You like my back because it doesn't have sharp teeth and a nasty attitude, as I recall."

Xemnas sighed, "I hope you're not really taking this personal." There wasn't a reply. "You clawed me! And you've bit me before! I think I have every right to say that about you."

Saïx moved and faced him finally, "All right. Let me see it."

"See what?"

"The scratch."

Xemnas hesitated and pushed down the blankets, "See?"

"It's bandaged up—"

"I'm not taking off the bandages!"

"Why not? I can't see what I did unless you do."

"Because!"

"Because?"

"Because because."

Saïx continued to stare at him before letting his eyes land back on the bandages. _Look at the location, idiot. He probably got scratched rather close to his ass…either that or the other region. How awesome am I? I claw without knowing it, and it's almost like fondling them in a very painful way. Even my evil side is horny._ "If you have to get naked I won't look if that's what's bothering you."

"You didn't get that close…I just don't see why you want to see it."

"I'm curious to see…how dangerous I am during that stage."

Xemnas wondered about that. Saïx never had a clue, did he? The man must lose conscious every time he went into Berserk mode. Or did he? "Do you remember anything?"

"Not…really. I kind of remember our conversation before I felt like I passed out. It felt more like a giant headache rather than Berserk mode…or however Berserk mode is supposed to feel like. I don't even know. I get the rush and I know it's coming once things start to blur, but after that there's nothing."

"Is that how it usually feels?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I know what's going on. Like…I have some control on what I see or hear or how to react to things…but whatever happened earlier felt like a huge black out."

Xemnas sat up more, "So…you don't even know what you did."

"Exactly. Someone should tape me when I'm going crazy. I don't even know what I look like or what I say or anything."

"You don't talk much…mostly snarl and growl."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yeah. Sounds rather real, though."

Saïx thought it over and laughed, "Wow, I can't believe how blind I am to my own power."

"I believe at some point in time you'll be able to know what you're doing."

Saïx shrugged, "Not even sure if I'll bother getting that far."

"What do you mean?"

"I just…don't want to train. The only way to make myself better is to get stronger AND to use my power a lot. But I don't want to because I'm completely vulnerable and I don't even know about it. The only time I'll have to react to anything is once I release from Berserk mode. Who knows when that'll happen."

Xemnas nodded. He actually understood how Saïx felt about his situation. There was a reason to fear every move he made or how he used his power against someone else. One small mistake on Saïx's part could mean a lot of destruction. "That's why you train with several other people. They're strong enough in numbers to at least protect each other and you from fatality."

Saïx shrugged again and scratched at his arm, the marks where Vexen had stabbed him were still there, though they looked much better than they had when it first happened. "I don't know my own strength…"

Xemnas pulled on his bandages and finally started to unwrap his leg, "I'll show you. And this was after you were wounded." After awhile his leg was revealed.

"Oh, that's not too bad," Saïx observed, only seeing the side of Xemnas's leg.

"You've only seen part of it," Xemnas mumbled as he moved his leg to show the backside, the bloody mess showed how far down his claws had dug into his tender skin.

"Wow. I did that? Sorry." He got closer to inspect it but Xemnas backed away.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking up your shorts?" Xemnas gave a rather offended look. "I'm looking at your dumb scratch, duh. Turn back around."

"Why do you need to look at it?"

"I want to know how long my claws are."

"They're long. That doesn't require staring at this."

"That doesn't tell me anything specific. Turn around."

Xemnas hesitated, "You're not going to pull anything on me, are you?"

_What the hell would I do to him?_ "What do you mean?" Xemnas had opened his mouth but nothing came out. Seemed he hadn't a clue on what he was saying. "Are you hinting at something?" Xemnas still didn't speak, "You are! You think I'd just throw you down or something and do away with you. Jeez, who do you think I am?"

"Uh…you've tried before."

"Yeah, when I was in the mood. But we're both in terrible agony, there's no point in trying to get at each other now. Look, I'll put my hands out so you can see them. That way you know I'm not doing anything stupid, how's that?"

Xemnas sighed and turned around, "Fine." He watched as Saïx got down to have a better look at the back of his thigh. Oh god, why did he even agree to this? He carefully watched Saïx's hands making sure he didn't do anything really dumb. He could see Saïx ripping off what little clothes he had on him just to enjoy seeing him naked. Not that he was shy or anything.

"Can I use one of my hands for something?"

"…Like what?"

"To touch you…?"

"Is that sarcasm?"

"No?"

"Why do you want to touch me?" Xemnas paused, "Well. Why do you HAVE to. I already know you want to."

Saïx smirked but shook his head, "I can't really see how deep it is, so I'm going to pull down on your skin a little bit."

"No, that sounds absolutely painful!"

"Okay….You can bend down then."

"No."

"It's either let me touch you for a few seconds or you can get in a vulnerable position. You choose."

Xemnas sighed, "Fine. But don't think you can do anything else besides look at that wound."

Saïx gently put his hand on Xemnas's thigh and felt the man tense. _He's such a stiff. Except in one region, aha. Ah…I need to stop thinking like that._ As he pressed he could see how deep the wound was. Absolutely disgusting. "Man, that's insane."

"What is?"

"My nails would have to like…grow half an inch or something."

"It's just as insane as your teeth."

Saïx shrugged and stood up, watching Xemnas turn around, "See? I'm not always trying to get down your pants."

Xemnas shook his head and grabbed some gauze, ready to redo the bandages on his leg. Saïx snatched them from him, "Let me do it."

Xemnas sighed and watched as Saïx carefully wrapped his thigh, "Why are you helping me?"

"I'm not tired anymore."

"If you're not tired then get out of bed."

"Too much effort. Besides, you like having someone in bed with you."

Xemnas nodded and said, "Indeed," in his slow manner. He continued to watch before speaking up again, "You're still not angry?"

"I already told you I'm over it."

"Are you certain?"

"As certain as certain can be."

"I don't understand…"

Saïx looked up as he finished, "What's there to question?"

"You seem like the type who would hold a grudge more than anything. I lied to you and made you so angry you couldn't turn back until you passed out. Yet you're being nice as if I hadn't done a thing."

Saïx wasn't sure why he was being nice. He should be upset. In a way he was, he never felt so cheated and humiliated. Then again…Xemnas was right about his family and friends. They didn't want him, so why bother caring about them? "Isn't it in the rules to respect your Superior? I would hate to be disobedient."

"That's a lie, you love breaking the rules. There's something else besides that."

"If I suck up enough you might give me a treat."

"You're not a dog, I doubt it's that."

"Does it matter? You should be enjoying this."

"No. It must mean you either want something or you're up to something. Either way I'm not sure if I like it."

Saïx rolled his eyes and spread out across the bed, "You've got me. I want your body."

Xemnas shook his head, "Couldn't be. If you wanted that you would have tried by now."

"I am trying, I'm going for suave."

Xemnas blinked and frowned, "Wait. I think I know what it is."

"Do tell, I'm dying to hear."

Xemnas sat down on the bed, "You're finally agreeing with me on the fact that you belong here."

"Here in your bed? Yeah. I can't deny that."

"Not THAT."

"Can we have sex now?"

Xemnas sighed, "You finally understand that going back home would mean nothing to you or them. You've accepted that the Organization is your new family."

"Family. Of course! We can be the couple that can't get their hands off of each other. The rest aren't important."

"Now you're just saying things because you're avoiding the fact that I'm right."

"What are you more into...the bondage or sex talk? I think I'm pretty flexible in both."

"Oh please…gag yourself."

"If you pull down your pants I could."

Xemnas hesitated and thought that over before frowning, "I don't want to think about that."

"I'm sure you'd enjoy it."

"I don't think I would."

"Let's find out."

Xemnas moved away from Saïx, "Let's not."

"All right, I'll give you two options. Either that or sex."

"Neither."

"You have to pick one or the other or it ruins the game."

"This isn't a game. I picked the third option."

"The third option is actually just kissing, which isn't as fun as the other two."

Xemnas shook his head, "I'm so confused when I'm around you."

Saïx laughed at that. He couldn't stop laughing until Xemnas stood up and grumbled at him to stop. "I'm sorry, the fact that you're confused made this really funny."

"That's not funny. You're acting odd and I never know when you're joking or not."

"All right. Let me clarify. I'm not joking. Let's have sex."

"No!"

"Okay. Here's me joking. You're right, having sex would be too pleasurable. We wouldn't want the others to know that we've done a lot more than just sleeping in your bed."

"You've already told them things that don't even happen in here."

"I never told them we made out."

"We never did that."

"Yeah we did. Well, you were pinned down. Would you like me to tell them the truth? That I pinned you down and kissed you?"

Xemnas was taken aback. He couldn't believe how vulgar Saïx was. "No. You're not allowed to talk about that."

"All right. I'll give you an option. You get in bed and we play around, but we don't go all the way….or I accidentally slip that I've overpowered you with my hips and my tongue. How's that sound?"

"You can't do that."

"I can and I will." Saïx stood up and Xemnas grabbed him.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Yeah I am. That door right there? I'm going through it so I can go straight to the others and tell them how sad it is that their own Superior couldn't stop me from shoving my tongue down his throat."

"No!" Xemnas paused and sighed, "Fine. I'll play your game. But you're not allowed to say a word. You do and I'll make sure you're dead."

Saïx almost felt like Xemnas was joking. He clearly wasn't. _Oh sweet Gods my hard work has paid off._ "Then get naked."

"You said we wouldn't go all the way."

"We won't, I just want you naked."

Xemnas glared and thought this over. He was ruined no matter what he did, wasn't he? With a small sigh he stripped and got in bed, waiting for Saïx to do what he wanted. Saïx crawled on top of him and began to kiss him. After a moment Saïx shook his head, "Kissing requires two people to participate."

"I don't like participating."

"Funny. I think I remembered that I needed to tell everyone else something important about you. What was it—"

"Fine! I'll…try." How was he going to get out of this?

"All right. Kiss me."

Xemnas wasn't sure how he'd get himself out of this. Maybe…just do it and get it over with? What if acting like this would awaken a memory of his own? Doubtful… He pressed his lips against Saïx's and began to kiss him. Wasn't like Saïx was bad or anything, he was a good kisser, it was the plain fact that…Xemnas didn't remember having any type of intimate moment with anyone. He didn't know anything about feelings or how it really should be. After several minutes Xemnas pulled back since Saïx literally bit his lip. "Ow, don't do that."

Saïx was breathing hard, a smile came across his face, "You're bleeding."

Xemnas touched his lip and glared, "That's what I was trying to avoid."

"Too late for that." Saïx kissed Xemnas's neck and started to nibble on his flesh.

"Stop, someone will see that," Xemnas pushed Saïx away.

Saïx slammed his hips into Xemnas's, "Then let's stop playing around and let's have some real fun."

Xemnas shook his head, "I'm not doing that with you."

Saïx smirked, "What makes you say that?"

"You already said we wouldn't go that far."

Saïx leaned against Xemnas, putting his face next to his, breathing softly against Xemnas's neck. He whispered seductively into the Superior's ear, "Oops, I lied."

This made Xemnas completely slam Saïx down, causing him to be on top. He had pinned the man to the point he could see it was hurting him. "We're not having sex."

"Funny," Saïx hissed through the pain, "How you lied to me. It'd be pretty terrible if I did the same to you."

Xemnas gave Saïx a rough shake, making it easier for him to put pressure against his back. Saïx let out a gasp of air as the pain shot through him. "You won't because I won't let you. Don't think because we did this you can get the upper-hand of me. It'd be in your best interest to pretend this never happened. Understand?"

_What's this feeling? I've felt it before…why am I remembering it now? But it seems so important…_

_I felt myself flashback to something completely new…and different. I was somewhere I shouldn't be…in a place that I didn't belong. The vibes, the smell, everything about it was off…_

"_He looks absolutely pathetic," someone said near me. My eyes noticed a figure before me, their shadow falling across my body. The moon, it's right there behind him._

"_Don't touch me!" I shouted, pain searing through my body._

"_You're the idiot who wanted to fight. What's the matter, don't want to play anymore?"_

"_I…want your pain…"_

"Excuse me?"

Saïx opened his eyes as Xemnas was still atop of him. "Huh?"

"You just said…something."

Saïx grabbed Xemnas's arm, prying the man from him, "I just remembered something…"

Xemnas sighed and grabbed his clothes, putting them on, "Is that how you always get out of trouble? Remembering things?"

"It was…the pain you gave me…it made me remember something really odd…as if I fought someone and lost. Like…I fought them just to get hurt. It was weird…"

Xemnas fixed his pants and shook his head, "You are really messed up, you do know that, right?"

Saïx wondered if he could do it again? "Hurt me. Now."

Xemnas frowned, "Why?"

"I want to remember more. Hurt me."

"You're insane."

"Just…hit me or something!"

Xemnas sighed and put his hands on his hips, "I think the fact that you like pain is a bit distasteful…"

Saïx stared at Xemnas. He wasn't…going to hurt him. Unless…

He grabbed Xemnas by the hips and threw him down on the bed, getting on top of him. He pulled him close and gave him a rough kiss. Then Xemnas punched him hard, splitting Saïx's lip with the force.

"_You want my pain? Pah. You wouldn't even know."_

"_Give it to me."_

_I fought, I was defeated, and now I'm alone. He's gone and I'm lying here with blood coming from all over me. "God…I love it."_

_A figure appeared and grabbed me, slapping me hard across the face. "What the hell do you think you're doing to yourself?"_

"_Flower?"_

"_Don't call me that…"_

"_Sorry."_

"_You're hurt…why'd you do that?"_

_I felt myself start to slip, "It happens…when it's the only joy you get out of life."_

"_That's just sick…"_

"Oh…my God…" Saïx hissed and grabbed his temple in agony, "What kind of a fucked up memory is that?"

Xemnas squirmed to stand again, this time farther away from Saïx, "I'm not sure what's wrong with you. You're an idiot and you're completely irrational. Every time I think you're getting better you become worse, and what's more—"

"Just shut up for a minute." Saïx snapped and rubbed his head before looking at the mirror. Blood on his face. He got closer and touched his lip, "Did you do that?"

"I did because you were—"

"Huh…it…feels nice."

"What?"

"I…think I like it."

Xemnas was mortified. Saïx was a freak. "You enjoy being hurt?"

"I do…it's weird…but it explains a lot of things. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to you…all you do is hurt me, and hurting me feels like love."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"When you punish me or hurt me it feels really nice…like…as if you're congratulating me instead."

"That's absolutely outrageous."

"I know." Saïx wiped the blood off and turned to him, "It's….a turn on though."

Xemnas sighed, "Everything that moves makes you excited. Get out."

Saïx tasted the blood and shook his head, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure…"

Xemnas grabbed Saïx's arm, "Get out of my room."

Saïx smirked, "I really do enjoy this."

Xemnas pushed him out and closed the door with that. He hoped to never experience that ever again. He couldn't believe he got naked and in bed with Saïx. At least the man kept his own clothes on…but still. He was stupid. Why hadn't he just overruled him? What made him so frightened to go against his words? Was he really trying that hard to keep him on his side? What a complete failure.

Saïx moved down the hallway and saw Zexion was outside again. He went over and grabbed his arm roughly, "I need to see something…"

Zexion looked up at him, "Your lip is bleeding."

"I don't care. Take me to Beast again…I…want to see him."

Zexion shook his head, "I shouldn't, it's against the Super—"

"He told me to go. So help me get there."

Zexion sighed and opened a portal, "Fine. But don't take too long…"

Saïx went through quickly and appeared back at the haunting castle. He moved through it and looked around, curiously wondering if Beast was still there. Then he came face to face with the monster, watching it grunt and snarl in his direction. "Beast."

"What are you doing here?"

"I—"

"I'm busy. Go away. I want to be alone."

"I just wanted to know something." Saïx watched as the large creature paused in his steps to leave and turned slightly to hear what he had to say. "Do you….find fighting a thrill? Even if you're losing?"

Beast's ears twitched, "I've never lost a battle…"

"But you've been hurt in one, haven't you?"

"Yes…"

"But you don't mind the pain, do you?"

Beast shook his head, "The pain reminds me that I was once human…and I still have those feelings. Even if I will forever stay this way…at least I can remember what it once was like to be normal."

Saïx nodded, "That's…all I wanted to know." He turned and hesitated, "Thanks for answering."

Beast growled softly, "Why do you want to know?"

Saïx folded his arms over his chest, "I…I feel the same way."

"But you're human."

"Not all the time…my ugly side comes in intervals."

Beast flicked his tail and moved, arriving before him, "Why are you receiving such punishment? What have you done that made it this way?"

Saïx opened his mouth but nothing came out. _What have I truly done to deserve this? It's…hard to even know. In fact…my life was always shitty, why am I being punished?_ "I don't know. My life was terrible…and then this happened."

Beast crouched lower, facing him with those sad, blue eyes, "Maybe yours is to give you strength…to let you take back what you've missed out on?"

"All I've been able to do is destroy everything around me…it isn't anything I want to witness…"

"Then it's strength to get revenge."

Saïx frowned, "Xemnas said the same thing."

Beast turned from him and got on all fours, "Then why did you doubt him?"

Saïx watched as the creature began to saunter off. He quickly followed, not sure as to why he was doing so, "Because he lies to me a lot…so I wasn't certain if he would say those things just to hurt me…"

"Sometimes people lie because they're trying to be nice…" Beast stopped at the window, staring out upon the darkened night blanketed in snow, "We lie to give hope…without hope…people are lost."

"What if we know our hope is false?"

"Then we find something else to believe in. What are you hopeful for?"

Saïx shrugged, "I was hoping I could see my family and return to them…but…after reading through some things I wrote a long time ago…I don't see why I should. They never wanted me…so why bother?"

"You want to fit in."

"Yeah."

"I know how that feels."

Saïx looked up at the hairy face, seeing how sad it looked. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. If you and Xemnas are correct about seeking revenge…that would mean killing them. I'm not sure whether I could, though. I'm attached, but they've wronged me."

"When you wrong someone you make up for it. If they don't make up for it…then they don't deserve wonderful treatment."

Saïx looked away and started to play with his cloak strings, listening to the metal clank together, "So…they…deserve to die."

"Everything is up to you. I wouldn't listen to anyone else…" Beast pulled on the curtains and the light died out, causing the harsh castle to become darker and scarier, "Do what you think is right."

"What if what I think is right is really wrong?"

"It isn't wrong if you think it's right. Morals or not." Beast went back on all fours and started to walk away again.

Saïx watched as that ended their conversation, Beast vanishing within the depths of his medieval castle. He sighed and wondered what he should do. _To kill or not to kill? Would I actually be upset? I don't have feelings, so it wouldn't matter. They've belittled me…why should I feel any remorse for destroying them?_ Saïx opened a portal and went through, thinking back at the journal and the visions. The beatings, the hate, the loneliness, the pain….and the deceit.

_They deserve death. Why else would it matter? My parents never loved me no matter how much I tried, my friends never cared for me and forced me to get hurt, and Flower… He…he…_

He exited his portal and snarled, the moonlight rushing his energy levels straight to Berserk Mode. His eyes landed on his house, how bleak and disappointing it was with the rosebushes outside. Quickly he moved in and smashed open the door, finding the place filled with light. A figure came over with a gun in his hands. _My father. My fucking abusive father…how dare he…_ "Dad."

Saïx's father stopped in his tracks, gun slackening from its current position, "Y-You're back…"

"Surprised? You sound displeased."

"No…I…are you being followed?"

"No."

He nodded and repositioned the gun, still holding it with a tight grip, "What brings you back? I thought you weren't allowed to leave…"

"Do I ever follow the rules?"

His father sighed and shook his head. Slowly he nodded his head to follow him and they went to the living room where his mother sat with a drink in her hand and a cigarette hanging from her mouth. "Mother." She looked over at him and her shaking hand put her cigarette out.

"Why do you torture me so?"

That question from her struck a nerve in Saïx, but he wasn't sure how to react to it. That feeling…he remembered it from somewhere. "Torture you?"

"You keeping haunting me….I've let go…why can't you?"

Saïx remembered it, from the hospital bed. How she said she would rather have him dead than alive. _That stupid bitch. Denying me, trying to be rid of me. I won't let her get away with that…_ "I've come here to give you what you've always wanted."

"What would that be?" His father spoke, gun positioned carefully for action.

"Eternal slumber." Saïx looked up at the ceiling, the power of the moon leaking through the window upon him. "Moon…shine down…" The hairs on his head started to stand, his muscles tensed, and he felt everything start to blur. "You will pay…"

When he returned from his normal state he was panting, holding onto a table. The room was utterly messy, the lights were knocked out, and blood was all over the room. There they were before him, dead and destroyed. A sharp pain struck his stomach and he groaned, grabbing onto his abdomen. As he looked down he saw that he was wounded. _My dad shot me? He would, that rotten bastard._ _No time to worry about that now…I have others to visit before I return home._ Saïx moved out of the house and created another portal, arriving at a friend's house. Over and over, he killed every single one of them. Their family included. Finally he reached the last house, stepping inside as he saw the lights on.

"Flower….where are you?" he asked, smirk crossing his face.

A kid came around the corner and gasped, "Whoa!! Mom! There's a stranger in the house!"

A woman came around and screamed, "Oh my God!"

Saïx laughed, "What's the matter? Don't remember me?"

Then came Flower from the stairs, eyes widening at the sight of Saïx there. "Y-You're here…" he stepped closer to get a better look. Those blue eyes instantly caught the sight of blood soaking his cloak, "You're covered…"

"And soon I'll be soaked." Saïx's hand came up, claymore appearing in his hand. The smaller kid screamed and grabbed onto his mom trying to find shelter from him. She began to move him out of the room, ordering Saïx to get out of her house. "I move for no one."

Flower frowned, "What are you doing?"

Saïx shoved the figure out of his way and followed the mother and child, spikes on the claymore shooting out to show the blood from everyone else. Shouting came from all around them, but Saïx ignored it. As soon as he entered that room the moonlight hit him, and he rose once again with rage and fury. Without a care in the world he let Berserk Mode take over him.

As he landed upon his feet he felt himself return, the room destroyed like all the others. At first it was silent, the dead bodies lay before him with blood soaking the white carpet. The small boy looked almost peaceful if you pretended the skull fracture wasn't there. Then came a soft cry behind Saïx, one that seemed all too familiar.

"Why?" Flower asked, standing there with blood soaking him, but not one single part of him was wounded. "Why did you do that? They did nothing to you…"

"You ruined me."

"Me? What are you talking about?"

"You…and everyone else…have lied to me," the spikes shot out again, ready for more action, "I won't let you get away with it. Not now. Not ever."

"How could you say that to me? Me of all people! Don't you remember anything..? What we had? You forgot about everything…and now you've taken it out on people who'd never hurt you."

Saïx listened and shook his head, "Everyone hurt me. I know, I wrote about it. I have proof that no one cared about me! That in the end I died because of all of you!"

Flower frowned, "What have I done to you?"

"You denied me!"

"I'd never do that to you, Lamb."

Saïx's glare vanished, "What did you call me?"

Flower crossed his arms over his chest, "Lamb. It's your nickname, remember? Because you're the sheepish one."

Saïx's rage completely vanished, "I don't remember that."

"I see…"

"I remember Flower…that's it."

"You remember my nickname, but you couldn't remember yours?"

"I wrote about you a lot."

Flower nodded, "Because…we were together for a long time."

Saïx turned from him, "You didn't love me."

"What gave you the idea that I never loved you? I was there when you died, Lamb, I watched them as they declared you dead…as they buried you…I've seen you come back twice now alive as nothing happened. I loved you. What makes you think that I went through so much pain and humiliation to just give you up like that?"

Saïx glanced over at him, "How did I die?"

Flower hesitated before moving over to him, "Do you remember anything?" He had avoided the question so easily.

Saïx sighed, "I thought I did…but now I don't know…what's going on? I wrote things…but was I lying? Did I remember differently? What…what made me lie?"

"Where did you read this?"

"In a journal…I found it in my drawer where I normally keep it."

Flower shook his head, "That wasn't a journal! You made that up! We made that up!"

"How is that possible? It had dates and everything!"

"You and I wanted to make something exciting, to pretend we had an alternate life. We completely rewrote what really happened in there—"

"And the days about 7?"

"Some of those were true, but they weren't as terrible as you made them out to be. Like the roller coaster ride, that was in there—"

"Yeah, I remember that—"

"You did hit your face, but it was after you got off the ride. You're supposed to duck and go through the door to get out and you didn't duck."

Saïx continued to stare at him and frowned, "Tell me more."

Flower shrugged, "Like what?"

"My mom and dad. Were they really mean to me?"

"No. You're adopted, so you kept wondering what your real parents were like. We wrote them in as terrible people. Along with 7, we made it up that your mom had that many kids. Your foster mom never had kids."

"I'm adopted?"

"Yes…" he shook his head, "You really don't remember anything…"

"That journal seemed so real…"

"That's why we wrote it." Saïx turned to him curiously. "We wanted to know what a different world would be like…if things weren't always as nice as they seemed."

Saïx sighed and looked at the mess. How could he have done this? Why had he believed himself? "Why? I can't remember any truths…just a bunch of lies….and now look what I've done…" He dropped to his knees, putting his hands against the ground, "I made a terrible mistake…I shouldn't have returned."

Flower bent down, putting his hands on Saïx's shoulders, "How many people have you killed?"

"All of them….everyone…I thought….I thought that they deserved to die for my pain….and I was wrong. I never had any pain, and now I've killed everyone for no reason…" Saïx's breathing changed, more forced and angry, "I should have known!"

Flower pulled him close and hid his face against Saïx's neck, he didn't want to see his dead family members. Not right now. "Don't blame yourself. You didn't know. You lost your memories and were looking to remember them. You got your hands on the wrong thing, we can't blame you for that. Please….just don't blame yourself for this."

Saïx felt calmed as his scent entered his nose as he breathed deeply, his muscles relaxing at his soft voice against his skin, his breathing hot and quick. "I…missed you."

Slowly Flower pulled from him and gave him a soft kiss, "I missed you, too."

They kissed again and slowly it turned to more, passionately clinging to each other as they didn't want to let go for fear of never being in that moment ever again. They moved from the messy and bloody living room to Flower's room, falling on the bed together as they ripped at each other's clothing. Saïx at first didn't feel a thing, but as soon as they were unclothed upon the bed the memories rushed back in. The memory of what it was like to feel this way, to feel completely intoxicated by someone else's body…it almost made him think he could feel again. Flower's breathing heightened and he moaned in pleasure, tightening his legs around Saïx's hips as he drove harder into him. "Harder, don't be shy," he teased between heated breaths, playing with Saïx's long hair.

Their play became rougher, their soft kissing turned to biting and nipping. Saïx could feel his hairs stand on end and his teeth sharpen, but not once did Flower freak out or tell him to stop.

"I love you," Flower whispered and brushed down Saïx's mane, they had paused from exhaustion and were lying there catching their breath.

"I don't want to leave you ever again."

"Will they come?"

"Yes…I'm a part of their group now…they'd never let me go."

Flower nodded and kissed Saïx right on his 'X' shaped scar, "If you're a good boy…maybe they'll let you visit me more often?"

Saïx smirked, "I don't like being good."

Flower giggled and kissed him, their lips starting to become tender with how much they had bit them. Before they could go on the door opened and their eyes fell upon Xemnas standing there.

"Get your clothes on, you're leaving."

Saïx looked at Flower. He didn't seemed concerned at all. _After everything I did…after following a bunch of lies…I came to one truth. Flower does love me…no matter how reckless or stupid I am. That's…what I've always wanted._ He grabbed his clothes and put them on, watching as Flower quickly did the same. Saïx was tying his boot when Flower leaned against his back, holding him in a hug. "I won't be here next time you come to see me."

Saïx stopped, "Why not?"

"Everyone's dead…"

Saïx looked away, "I…"

"No, don't say it. I'm not worried about it."

"You shouldn't stay here…let me take you somewhere else."

Xemnas interrupted, "Saïx, you're not taking him anywhere."

"Saïx," Flower whispered softly, "That's a good name for you. I'll be fine. You'll find me, I'm sure."

Saïx nodded, "I promise."

Flower giggled softly and gave him a goodbye kiss, "Be good, my little Lamb."

Saïx smiled at him but didn't say a word as Xemnas's portal reopened. He followed through and watched as Flower waved goodbye. Once they exited Saïx found himself stuck in the forever dark world of The World That Never Was. The only thing he could feel right now was the pain in his abdomen, but even that wasn't that bad.

"Lamb?" Xemnas questioned, turning to face him, "You're a lamb to him?"

"It's a nickname."

"You're anything but cute and fluffy."

Saïx shook his head, "You wouldn't understand."

Xemnas scoffed, "In fact, you're disobedient, outrageous, and hormonal. Not to mention completely psychotic."

_Why is he scolding me now? Is it because he just saw me naked with my boyfriend? Probably. What if he's jealous?_ "Everyone has their quirks."

"Quirks? You don't have quirks, you are one."

"Makes me unique I suppose."

Xemnas frowned, "Why aren't you arguing with me?"

"Because I just had really steamy sex, enjoyed it, and don't really care what you have to say. I killed everyone that you wanted me to kill, and then I found out everything I wrote about was a lie. It was a story we made up to entertain ourselves, that was all. How dumb was I to think I actually had a terrible life? But….now that I think about it….it's only him and me left. So we can be together—"

"You can't be together because I'm not allowing you to go back to see him. You shouldn't be in contact with anyone outside of this world, you understand me? No one! Every time you visit a place you have the risk of showing our identities. Imagine what will happen if that goes about. They'll try to find ways to this world and I won't let it happen, especially if it involves you being romantic with a boy that doesn't even like you."

Saïx sighed, "Whatever."

Xemnas turned to him, "There it is again. You're not fighting."

"Are you purposefully trying to upset me?"

"No, I'm stating the truth. Normally when I speak you're against every word I say."

"Well…I guess things change, don't they?"

"That's it? No snide comments, no beastly grunts, not even a transformation?"

"Good sex can really null out the anger."

Xemnas watched as Saïx continued to walk off. That's all that had to happen to make Saïx be less arrogant. Sex? How….

Ugh. He didn't even want to question it, but if he let Saïx walk away with that who knows what else the man would get away with. "You can't enjoy sex!"

"Ha, that's what you think. You haven't had sex while in this state, now have you?" Xemnas's silence confirmed Saïx's thoughts, "Exactly. I have. You get the same rush as when you do have sex. Sure you're not as full blown crazy about it, but it still feels really good."

Xemnas glared and shook his head before pointing at Saïx, "While you were gone we acquired another member."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Already?"

"Yes, and we're preparing for a meeting. I asked Zexion where you had ran off to and he said Beast's Castle. Why were you there?"

"I was contemplating our lives and how similar they are."

"That's hard to believe. You don't contemplate anything, you get others to do that for you."

"You're right, but I can't help that. I enjoy Beast's company in times where anyone else would just frustrate me. He's simple and complicated all at once."

"Describes you perfectly."

"So who is this new member?"

"Vexen pulled him as soon as his energy levels showed up. His name is Demyx. I don't know much else about him."

Saïx glanced at Xemnas, "And I'm assuming you want me there for the grand meeting…but there must be more to it than that. You wouldn't really bother walking me there unless you wanted to say something."

Xemnas nodded, "There is more. Last time we talked about this…you said you'd voluntarily help our newest member."

Saïx thought back on that. _Well shit, I did say that now didn't I? Silly me. Should have known Xemnas would remember that one._ "I suppose I did."

"Then you'll keep your promise?"

"Of course. Let's go, I'm curious to see him."

"Oh…I think you two will get along wonderfully."

_Eh, what's that supposed to mean?_

7777777

They all sat at the table and stared at the newest member who was blowing bubbles…without even having bubbles in his hand. For some odd reason he had the wand, but produced the bubbles with a blow of his breath. Sometimes he'd giggle as a big one would expose itself and float around, popping a sticky mess on the table. Vexen had his notebook out, scratching away at how fascinating this was. He'd have to make a comparison chart on the new members. Saïx was powerful yet pissy, Axel hadn't shown any worthiness as of yet, and this Demyx kid was producing bubbles like crazy. Was that his power? To bubblify everyone?

Xemnas continued to sit there and stare at Demyx as he continued with his interesting behavior. For an entire 5 minutes no one spoke a single word, busily staring at the child they had just acquired.

"Hi!" Demyx finally shouted as a bubble floated itself over to Saïx's face.

"Hi?" Saïx replied, watching the bubble pop before him.

"What's your name?"

"Saïx."

"Hi, Saïx! My name's Demyx! How's it going? Do you like bubbles?"

"Uh…I'm fine. And…I suppose I like bubbles. I'm not really sure."

Demyx smirked, "Well that's good! Bubbles help relieve stress!"

Vexen nodded, "Proven fact, actually."

Demyx gave a cheerful grin, "So who else arrived here naked and was suddenly dressed in these funky clothes?"

Axel raised his hand and jabbed Saïx. He grunted to acknowledge that he had once experienced such unpleasantries.

"Cool! I thought I might be the only one. What's your name?"

"Axel. So…how are you getting those bubbles out?"

"Oh I don't know, I just blow and they appear. You try!"

Axel watched as the stick was jammed near his face. He looked around and blew on the stick, yet no bubbles appeared. Demyx gave a dramatic gasp and pulled it close to him, glaring angrily, "You better not have broken it or I'll kill you."

_WHAT THE HELL. Is this kid bipolar?? He just went from happy to murderous. Then again…I kind of like him that way. Makes him rather interesting._ Saïx watched as Demyx blew on the stick and more bubbles appeared. "Sweet! It's working!"

Axel blinked and glanced over at Xemnas, "Sooo…we gonna start this meeting anytime soon?"

Xemnas nodded, "Yes, of course." _Here we go again. I hate this. Do I really have to sit through all of the introductions? Why was I first? Faaaaiiiilll, I'll have to hear ALL of them then. Stupid stupid stupid._

It didn't get far before Demyx interrupted, "I don't understand anything you're saying. Could someone else explain this to me?"

Xemnas frowned. He hadn't even used a big word yet.

Saïx decided to speak up, "We're all dead. And yet our bodies are still existing. We're here to collect the hearts of others since we don't have any."

Demyx laughed, "Don't be silly, I have a heart."

"No you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

"No…you don't."

"Yes I doooo."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"Okay, prove it."

Demyx leapt up and gave him a hug, "See? I feel all warm and fuzzy inside! That's because I have a heart!"

Saïx wanted to strangle him but refrained, "That's you remembering what it's like to have feelings, but you really don't have feelings."

Axel nodded, "Yeah. Everything is just a memory, it's not actually real."

Demyx shrugged, "Whatever."

Xaldin grumbled, "Number IX, would you please sit down and pay attention?"

Demyx blinked, "Nine?"

Zexion nodded, "We go by a numbered system."

The new member jumped up on the table to sit on it, "Oooh, so tell me all your numbers!"

They went down the order with their count until it reached Saïx. He didn't say it. Which made Axel say his number… which made it sound like they didn't know how to count. Demyx frowned and started to count everyone before glancing at Saïx, "Wait, what number are you? You never said anything."

Saïx blinked, "A number between 6 and 8."

Demyx giggled, "Seven?"

"Sure."

"What do you mean 'sure'? Is it?"

Zexion spoke up, "He's superstitious. He believes 7 is his unlucky number."

Demyx nodded, "Dude, I totally know what you mean! This one time I hit my face in a mirror and they were all 'seven years of bad luck, bleh' and I was like 'whatever' but then my cat was hit by a car after it got in a hissy fit with a black cat!" Demyx took a deep breath, "But if I'm dead I obviously didn't get to the entire 7 years of bad luck, huh?"

"Wonderful, we have a miniature version of Saïx here," Xigbar commented.

Demyx smirked, "Is that a good thing?"

"Of course, it means you're talented in more ways that they could ever dream of," Saïx replied. No way was he letting anyone say no to that.

Xemnas found this the opportune moment to explain what was going to happen. "Demyx, you're going to spend a large amount of your time learning from Saïx. He can show you where to go and where your room is at and everything. If you have any type of problem go to him, all right?"

Demyx nodded, "All right." He stood up on the table, "Wait, shouldn't the top dog do that? Is Saïx the top dog?"

Xigbar mumbled, "I bet he likes it on top."

Xemnas hissed at Xigbar before shaking his head, "I'm the Superior, but Saïx has volunteered to help you out."

Demyx got down and smiled, batting his eyes at Saïx, "Aw, you shouldn't have."

Saïx shrugged, "I know, I just can't help myself sometimes."

Xaldin moved to stand, towering over Demyx even as he was on the table, "Another thing. We have weapons and powers. You will learn to master yours in good time. Don't think it'll come naturally."

Demyx blinked, "Ooh, yeah? Okay. I learned this cool new trick, I'm not sure if it relates to what you're talking about, though!" Demyx waved his hand and bubbles formed, then it turned into a sitar. He set it in his lap and started to play. The sprinklers above set themselves off and soon the water morphed into human-like shapes, dancing about and combining together. All of them were completely astonished. They were also rather soaked.

"Uh…Demyx…please stop," Xemnas ordered and Demyx paused in his work. The clones splashed into nothing on the floor, but the sprinklers above continued their showering. "That was…quite magnificent and all, but let's not use our powers inside the castle, hmm?"

Demyx frowned, "You sound like my dad or something. Jeez. Hey Saïx, let's go outside and play with bubbles!!"

The others snickered as Demyx grabbed Saïx's hand and dragged him to go play. Zexion shook his head in dismay, "He's mastered a weapon…but he's as smart as a brick."

"Looks to be your age, too. How intriguing," Vexen commented as he held a tiny umbrella over his notepad.

"Who cares about age, I wonder how powerful he is," Xigbar mumbled. He perked, "What if he's stronger than Axel and Saïx?" Axel glared at that. No dorky kid could be stronger than him.

Vexen gave a maniacal laugh, "Then my theory of pulling them out of the darkness quickly would be a success!!"

Xigbar jabbed Vexen causing his umbrella to move and his notebook get covered in water, "Not to burst your bubble, but that was so my idea. And besides, he seems lively. We need a little bit of uplift after dealing with Saïx's moody hissy fits. I swear that guy is more of a pussycat than he is a fighter. Berserk mode is the only thing going for him."

Xemnas chuckled, "Odd…"

Everyone turned to him.

"His friend called him 'Lamb'."

Lexaeus raised an eyebrow, "Sheepish?"

"People change once they go into the darkness," Zexion commented, "We all have in our own ways."

Xigbar shook his head, "But why did he change that much?"

Xemnas lost his smile and knew why it was. Saïx had distinctly said the journal was fake…So when he crossed over he took on the personality of what he had written. How…intriguing. He rose, "I have a few matters to deal with."

"Where are you going?"

"Terminating someone…."

Zexion stood up, "Xemnas, you're not going to kill who I think you're going to kill…are you?"

"Saïx will be too busy with Demyx to know. By the time he tries to leave to see his 'friend' again he won't care about him anymore."

Zexion sighed, "I think you're stepping into a land mine that way…"

"So be it, Saïx can get upset with me all he wants. He won't have anything better to do once he finds out."

Xemnas disappeared through a portal and the group started to mumble and talk. What had their Superior so willing to destroy Saïx's friends? What had he witnessed that caused this decision?

"Perhaps…we should ask Saïx?" Xigbar finally opted, eye gleaming as it landed on the door where Saïx had left through. That boy never held secrets…and he would gladly tell Zexion, wouldn't he? "But of course…."

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Long yet filled with spiffeh, right? Please comment! I hoped you liked the new addition of members, too.

And as a random note: Demyx would so be magical with powers way before anyone else. We all know it's true.

Until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Another chapter for my fans!

WARNING: Very very intimate moments ahead! Though not TOO obnoxious I hope. ENJOY!

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"You're bleeding."

_I can't tell the difference between my blood and my friends' blood. Is that a bad thing? Oh, the gaping hole where my dad shot me might be the clue as to which is my blood. Wait, Flower said they were never mean to me, but why did he shoot me? Possibly just self defense. And what of mom? She said she felt…haunted by me, wishing I'd go away. That's weird, if the journal was fake than why—_

"Like badly bleeding. I could splash water on you to get you clean if you want."

_What parts of my memory are real and what parts aren't? Flower never dumped me, but why would we jokingly write about breaking up? That would suck. I should show him the journal at least, just in case. What if it's real and he just thought it was the fake one? Or maybe he's lying to me? Why would Flower lie to me, though? Then again…Beast said that people lie to be nice. Was he just trying to protect me?_

"Helllloooo!" Demyx shouted in his face, stopping in his tracks. Saïx looked down at the idiot before smirking. He needed to stop spacing off.

"What? I wasn't paying attention."

"I said you're hurt, you might want to do something with that."

Saïx glanced at the bloody cloak he was wearing, the hole in his stomach still gushing some blood. _I had sex while I had this hole in my stomach? Dear God. That's kinky and gross at the same time!_ "Oh. Yeah, I should."

"Where's the Nurse's office? Do you have one here?"

"Uh..no. This is a cult, not a school."

Demyx sighed, "Damn, I was hoping you'd have a playground."

_Did he just curse? While talking about playgrounds? This kid is something else._ "Don't worry, there are other entertaining things you could do besides kill yourself on monkey bars."

"That's good! I broke an arm once when I fell from the monkey bars."

"Sounds fun."

"In a sense…it was! The hospital gave me ice cream!"

"Cute." Saïx stopped near his room and opened the door. It was still a giant mess.

Demyx frowned, "Wow, what happened in here?"

"I got angry." Saïx went to the bathroom and looked around on the floor before picking up the gauze. Why did he destroy the medicine cabinet again? Ugh, he really was insane. "Don't worry, as long as you don't get on my nerves you should be fine." He watched as Demyx shrugged at him and sat down on his bed.

"Kind of neat looking once you get past the giant mess! Ooh, that's a big window!"

"I knocked the glass out."

"Ah, is that why it's covered?"

"That and other things." Saïx pulled off the cloak and noticed he had blood all over his front. _Was this from sex or from killing? Eh, like Demyx will know the difference._

"You should…shower or something. That's a lot of blood."

"I take really long showers though; you'd be sitting in here for a long time if I did."

Demyx shrugged, "I could clean your room while you're in there!"

_He'd…clean my room? What a freak._ "Seriously?"

"Sure! You don't look like you're going to do it anyway."

"All right…you clean if you want. If you get bored in here your room is a few doors down. It's marked with your number on it."

"Sweetness! Have fun getting cleaned!"

Saïx smiled and went into his bathroom. _What a little loser. Better than the others. Then again, I haven't talked to Axel all that much. I'm not sure what he's like. Maybe I should force him to come along with us?_ Saïx stripped and went into the shower, feeling the water hit him and wash away the blood. The water went from blood red to clear after several minutes of scrubbing and washing. When he came out and dried off he remembered he didn't have clothes in the bathroom and poor little Demyx was out in his room. _Crap, I need to remember to bring clothes in here or something. Oh well, we're all guys._ Saïx opened the door as he was in his towel. He noticed that it was brighter because Demyx had ripped down the blanket that was covering his window. The destroyed pieces of wood were stacked into a nice pile along with other things that couldn't be replaced, and the rest of the room was put back together in a somewhat orderly fashion. "Wow, you did pretty good."

Demyx was nowhere in sight. At first Saïx wondered if the kid had left, but as he moved toward the closet he found the kid rifling through the clothes. "Find anything interesting?"

Demyx popped his head out, "Mostly leather, but look what I found!!" Demyx brandished a tee-shirt that had a giant '7' on it. _Wasn't that in my work-out locker? Whatever._

"No wonder I'm having nightmares, who put that in here?"

"You don't like it? I think it's nifty!"

"You can have it, then."

"But your number—"

"So what? Not like anyone else would really care that you're wearing the wrong shirt. We don't have feelings. If anyone asks just say you're opting for…I don't know…good luck."

"If you say so!" Demyx put it on himself, over his cloak, and smirked, "It's perfect!"

_He looks like a moron. Don't ruin his fun, though, go along with it._ "Absolutely. Now I need to get some clothes…and we can do whatever you want." Saïx rummaged through the closet and pulled out things he needed, listening to Demyx sing to himself. _This kid is so happy it's weird. Does anything upset him?_ He threw his clothes on as Demyx continued to sing. Finally he turned to Demyx and nodded at him, "I'm ready, let's go."

Demyx perked up and burst into a loud song before grabbing Saïx's arm and rushing toward the door. Once he finished his loud ensemble of noises, he started to babble, "So how old are you?"

_Fuck if I remember._ "I'm not sure. Zexion's the youngest at the moment."

"You look about the same as that redhead! What's his name again?"

"Axel."

"Yeah!"

"I think he might be younger than me." Then again who knew? "How old are you?"

"I'm a teenager!"

"That…says a lot."

"I think I might be older than that short guy with the funky hair."

"Zexion."

"Yeah. I can so tell that he's younger than me."

"How do you know?"

"Just….know. I'm not sure how. Instinct, maybe?"

Saïx shook his head, "What an odd instinct to have."

"It's useful. Oh look! Look! What's that?" Demyx slammed his face up against the window and pointed at the moon.

"Kingdom Hearts. It's a moon. And…absorbs hearts when we kill things."

Demyx faced him, "Really? That's flipping sweet!"

_Flipping sweet? Oookay._ "You like fighting?"

"Oh no, I'm against fighting. I like talking things out, but I just thought it sounded gory and creepy that a moon eats hearts. Where's its mouth?"

"Uh…it doesn't exactly eat them. It just…absorbs them." _As I said previously._

"Aww, that makes it boring." Demyx mumbled and grabbed Saïx's hand again, "Outside Time! Outside Time!"

_Seriously, I'm not sure if he's annoying or entertaining._

They reached the outdoors and Demyx ran about and looked at everything there was to see, "Whoooaaaa!! This is so cool! I don't even remember seeing this when I was brought in!" Demyx continued to rush about and prod at things. Then he saw the moogle. He crouched low and pulled on Saïx's hood strings to make him come down, too. "What is that?"

"A moogle. It gives you items if you pay for them." _Fucking moogles._

"I want to catch it."

"They're pretty quick, I don't think you can."

"Wanna bet?" Demyx started to crawl toward it, shaking his butt as he got ready to pounce. He launched like a cat. At first Saïx thought he failed, but he was wrong. There in Demyx's arms was a struggling Moogle making odd noises as it tried to get away from him. "Ahaha! Ahaha!!! This is so COOL!!"

"I think you should let it go, it doesn't look too happy."

"I want to name it and everything!! Can I show Xemnas?? I have to show him!!" Demyx started to run off toward the castle, laughing happily as he continued to hold onto the moogle. _Fuck. I have to follow him, won't I?_ Saïx chased after Demyx.

"You should let that thing go!"

"Xemnas has to see him first!!"

"But—"

Demyx started to burst into song again as he ran. _What the hell! I'd be out of breath if I sang and ran at the same time. There's something wrong with this freak!_ Saïx couldn't believe he couldn't even catch the kid. Wasn't like he was THAT out of shape, but this kid seemed way too energetic. _Maybe I should go bathe in some moonlight? That'd make things easy._ They passed by Zexion and Vexen in the hallways, both of the members staring at them in utter confusion.

"Did you just see that?" Vexen questioned.

"Demyx running with a moogle…and Saïx in hot pursuit."

"It's official…the Organization is filled with crackpots."

Saïx watched Demyx run through Xemnas's door and screamed, "Xemnas!! Xemnas!!"

Xemnas was standing there wiping blood from his gloves on a white towel. Not suspicious at all. "Um. Yes?"

Saïx came in and saw the towel. _What…has he been doing?_

"Look what I caught! Can I keep him? Pleeaaase?" Demyx shoved the moogle in front of Xemnas's face. The moogle gave a few more pitiful noises.

"Oh my, Demyx, no. Let it go, the thing needs to stay outside." Xemnas had a calm expression on his face, though beneath it was that 'WHAT THE HELL' look. "They don't survive well indoors." He was making that up.

Demyx pouted and petted the moogle's head, "Aww, but he's so cute."

"Um…there aren't any pets allowed in here, Demyx."

"B-B-But…BUUUTTTT…" Demyx continued to pout and snuggled the poor moogle, the things mooping and meeping reaching to new notes.

"Demyx, if you let the moogle go we can get you something cuter. Like…a dog!" Saïx opted. Xemnas glared at Saïx for saying that. Demyx, although, became rather ecstatic.

"A dog? I love dogs!" He shoved the moogle into Xemnas, "Can I pick it out? Can I? Please?"

Xemnas carried the estranged moogle to his window and opened it up, letting it fly away, "No. You can't have a dog."

Demyx went from happy to angry, "Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"It's improper to start sentences with 'because'," Demyx shot back. He crossed his arms over his chest, "You lied to me! I want a dog!"

"I didn't lie to you, Saïx said it. He's the liar."

"Saïx wouldn't lie to me, would you Saïx?" Demyx turned to Saïx. _Well fuck, now I'm stuck. If I say 'of course not' then Xemnas is against me. But if I say yes, Demyx will hate me. This is dumb. How do I get into these situations?_

"I break the rules, I think having a dog wouldn't be a terrible idea."

Xemnas sighed, "You break rules and you get punished for doing so. We're not getting a dog."

Demyx frowned, "Pffh, so much for having a REAL Superior. He doesn't want a dog because he's either scared of them or he's too powerless to actually get one." Demyx turned, "Come on, Saïx, show me something that's more entertaining than him."

Xemnas glared, "I'm not scared of dogs, nor am I powerless in getting one. It's simply put that I don't want a dog in this building."

Demyx snorted, "I bet he's allergic to them, what a pansy."

Saïx tried not to laugh at that, but the fact that Demyx knew how to get on Xemnas's nerves was hilarious.

"You're not getting a dog!" Xemnas growled at him.

Demyx sighed, "Fine, be that way." He moved for the door and glanced back, "Child molester."

Saïx's eyes widened and he looked over to Xemnas to see his reaction. The Superior's look was utterly priceless._ This kid is great. I'll definitely have to learn from him. Maybe I'll teach him a few of my tricks, too?_

"I'm not a pedophile."

"Then why, might I ask, do you have BLOOD on your hands? That's just wrong."

_About time we find this out. What has he been slaughtering?_

Xemnas sighed and held up the bloody towel, "It's actually your mother's. She has a wonderful scream and I couldn't resist."

This time it was Demyx who had the priceless look. "What'd you do to her??"

"If I told you that would ruin the fun of a mystery, wouldn't it?"

"Tell me what you did to her!!" Demyx's serious side came out. He looked angered and worried.

Xemnas sighed and dumped the towel into a waste basket, "I didn't do anything to her. That isn't her blood."

"Then whose blood is it?"

"A puppy's. I absolutely hate dogs, I decided to murder the thing for my own pleasure."

Saïx frowned. Xemnas was being really sarcastic. What was he hiding? "Hey Demyx, why don't you go….outside and wait for me? I have something important to ask Xemnas."

Demyx sighed, "Don't take too long!"

"If I do…I'll get you a dog, how's that sound?"

Demyx beamed, "Then take as long as you want!" He rushed off again and left the two alone in the room.

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "You must have done something bad if you keep lying to him like that. Or do you always lie to everyone?"

Xemnas crossed his arms and shook his head, "He doesn't need to know what I've been doing."

"And what was it that you were doing?"

"Killing his mother."

Saïx frowned, "No seriously, what'd you do?"

"I am serious. I went over to do something else and she attacked me."

"How do you know it was his mother?"

"She blatantly screamed 'give me back my son'. After I killed her I dumped her body back into her house, and I saw his picture in the house."

"So…she was so upset that she attacked a stranger? That's weird. What were you actually going to do?"

"I had a few loose ends I needed to tie up, but I can't do that right now. I'll wait for awhile. I wouldn't want anyone noticing my presence."

Saïx hesitated before asking, "Did those 'loose ends' even have to deal with Demyx's family?"

"No. They don't. He ruined my concentration so I wound up in the wrong place."

"How did he do that?"

Xemnas waved a hand, "He's extremely carefree, and the fact that he already knows about his element and weapon is astounding. I was thinking about that when I tried to leave, so I wound up at his house."

Saïx nodded, "I get it."

"You might want to hurry and go with Demyx. Don't wander too far. There are Heartless out there."

Saïx nodded and moved off. Weird. Something could offset Xemnas's concentration? _The one thing I'm really curious about…is where he really was going to. It had to be someone's house, right? He was only thinking about Demyx, not Demyx's house. So he had to have been thinking of a house when his concentration was interrupted by Demyx's odd personality. I wonder…_ Saïx found Demyx outside playing with bubbles. "Hey, I'm back."

Demyx smirked, "Cool! Hey, the guy with the eyepatch told me we could go on some really cool adventures!!"

Oh great, Xigbar was at it again. "Like what kind of adventures?"

Xigbar appeared from the corner and gave a bellowing laugh, "The best kind of adventure that Xemnas won't venture to! Ever heard of the 'Pride Lands'?"

Demyx shook his head, "Nope."

"It's a beautiful place, and you can lollygag around there all you want! How's about I take you two there and you see for yourself what a great area it is?"

Saïx frowned, "And when you say take us there….I hope you don't mean you're going to create a portal and force us through."

"Nah, I'll join you this time, promise."

Saïx groaned, "Whatever."

Demyx clapped, "Yay! Adventures! Why would Xemnas not want to go to the Pride Lands?"

Xigbar chuckled, "You'll see, kid." The portal appeared and he grabbed onto the both of them, walking through the portal quickly.

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_I'm not sure what's worse, knowing that I can turn into a monstrous destructive beast, or seeing myself as a hairy, furry beast. Either way I'm not very satisfied with how I turned out._

"I feel stupid," Saïx mumbled and shook his mane, feeling the hairs flop all over. _Ugh. And my hair is attached all over me. This feels so awkward._

"I think you look spankin' hot," Xigbar joked. He had a crazed mane that had a small tie on the end of it, an eyepatch still accenting his eye. The scars on him showed up rather well, which only meant that Saïx's were probably just as bad.

"I feel furry!" Demyx stated, glancing at his body and whishing his tail from side to side.

"Probably because you are furry," Saïx stated and moved to glance at his appearance in a puddle next to him. _Oh GAWD I look terrible. And I just thought the word 'gawd,' which means this is really bad._ "What's so great about this place anyway?"

"Xemnas refuses to come here, that's what's so great about it."

Demyx smirked, "That means we can stay here as long as we want and he wouldn't come to reprimand us!"

"Precisely, dude."

Saïx glanced around at the place and growled, which actually came out as a growl, "Doesn't mean he won't yell at us when we come back."

"Nah, I'm with you! I'm responsible and powerful," Xigbar commented and gave a devilish grin, his fangs gleaming at him.

"Yeah, but he hates me…so that could null that affect," Saïx commented and then saw a few grazing zebras in the distance. "So what should we do here?" His tail wagged slightly as he continued to stare at the animals.

"Every time I come here I play the 'who can knock down the biggest animal' game. No powers, no weapons, just brute strength."

Saïx smirked, "I think I'd enjoy that."

Xigbar noticed his gaze and he chuckled, "Xemnas would kill you if you took down a zebra."

"Why? Is that his wife over there or something?"

Xigbar laughed heartily, "No. He just likes the animals."

"All the more reason to take it down."

"Yeah? If you take one down I dare ya to take it back with us."

"You're on. And once we get back home I'll make him eat it."

Xigbar continued to laugh, "Oh, this'll be good."

Demyx hopped up and down, "Cool! Let's start! Who should go first?"

"You, kid. I want to save Saïx's moments with the zebra for last."

Demyx pointed at himself, "Me? Well okay." He glanced around and saw a rhino, "Should I try that?"

"Only if you want to die," Saïx answered quickly. He didn't want to see Demyx try and fight a freaking rhino.

"Aww. Okay. Um. What about that thing?"

Their eyes went over to a warthog grazing.

"Those things can be kind of vicious, but if you want to try…" Xigbar mumbled. Wasn't like Demyx could take down anything bigger than that.

Demyx smirked and started to prance off, "Here I go!"

The two glanced at each other before watching Demyx crouch low and seemingly disappear in the tall grass. After several moments of utter silence, they noticed Demyx pop out from the grass and launch onto the back of the warthog. Suddenly a meerkat screamed at him and the two started to deck Demyx to death. The scaredy-cat soon returned and hid behind Saïx, "It started yelling at me! And they both were just…just…" Demyx shuddered, "That was just too weird."

Xigbar snorted, "You were beaten by a hog and a rodent. Eh, don't worry, first time is always the hardest to adjust to these sort of things. I'll go with…" Xigbar let his eyes zoom about and he saw a blue bird lazing around the plains, touching down on a nice rock. "Ha, there's my target." He flicked his tail slightly and gave another smirk to them, "Watch and learn, my furry friends." Xigbar went down low and disappeared in the grass.

"Oooh, this is so fun. I like how he just vanishes!"

Saïx shrugged, which was hard to do as a lion. "If you guys are going for small I wonder how I'll take down that zebra."

"I'm sure you can do it. You look like the type who could take things down easily."

_Like the Superior on his bed. Ahahaha._

"There he goes!" Demyx whispered. Xigbar launched up and landed on the bird, its cry for help was rather priceless. After a seemingly interesting battle, the bird had slipped away and cursed at him before flying off.

Xigbar returned with a bored expression, "He said he was going to send Mufasa on me, whatever that means."

"Maybe they're part of a cult religion?" Demyx offered with a smile.

"Sounds hot," Saïx muttered, "My turn."

"Haha, you better be successful, dude. I want to see Xemnas eat that thing."

Saïx flicked his tail, "Oh I will." Because he didn't care to go with the rules…if he went Berserk then by god he'd let it happen. He crouched low and stalked his prey, watching the unknown animals continue to eat their grass. Slowly he approached them to the point he could hear their breathing, watching their tails flick away flies and continue their happy munching on food. He bolted, legs shooting out from under him. He had never ran on all fours before, but this was really fast. The zebras started to run for it, dashing in all directions trying to get away. His eyes caught onto one, though, that seemed slower than the others. There was his target. He continued his chase, his breathing quickened as he spurted through the long grass and twisted to follow the animal's pattern. At long last he leapt into the air, claws digging into the rump of the zebra. It fell to the ground slamming him hard into a rock, but he ignored this as he knew he had to catch this thing. It was a challenge and he had to win. Saïx grappled with the animal for a bit as he tried to paralyze it with biting at its neck and clawing it to death, trying his best to keep it down. If it bolted he wasn't sure if he could catch it again. After a wonderful struggling battle the thing stopped. A roar of victory escaped him. _Hell yes, bitches, I did it._

Xigbar and Demyx soon bound over to him, glancing at the dead zebra. "That's awesome!" Demyx shouted, poking at the dead creature.

"Wow, for a second I thought you'd lose it. Now to get it back home." Xigbar looked around and noticed something. "Shit, more lions. Let's hurry." He created a portal and grabbed onto a leg, Demyx doing the same. Saïx took up the rump and started to shove it through the portal. As they went through Saïx could hear the roaring from behind him. He quickly turned and saw a giant lion descending from the sky. A claw went to his side and a roar of pain escaped him.

Xigbar, out on the other end, had closed the portal thinking they were done. "Eh…wait a minute. Where's Saïx?"

Demyx glanced around. The two of them were in Saïx's room with a dead zebra. "I think that lion got him."

Xigbar frowned, "Well shoot, that's no good."

"Should we go back to help him?"

Xigbar glanced at the dead zebra and then at Demyx, "Let's send Xemnas to do it….it'll make things even more climatic than they already are."

Demyx clapped, "Sweet!"

Together they burst into Xemnas's room startling the Superior. "Xemnas!! Xemnas!! You have to hurry! Saïx is stuck in the Pride Lands!!"

Demyx nodded, "And he's fighting Mufasa!!"

Xemnas frowned, "Saïx is fighting the king of the lions?"

Xigbar nodded, "Yeah!!"

"Oh, is that who Mufasa is?" Demyx questioned before Xigbar elbowed him. "I mean. Yeah, we left to get help! I'm not sure if Saïx can handle fighting Mufasa…"

Xigbar gave a grave nod, "He might….destroy him if you know what I mean."

Xemnas sighed, "Saïx and his stupidity always getting in trouble. Fine, I'll go get him. Stay here."

Xemnas opened a portal and left.

Xigbar snorted, "Oh god, this is too cute."

Demyx smiled, "We should tell everyone else! That way when they come back there will be a crowd!"

"I like your thinking, kid."

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Saïx was out of breath and out of strength. He had just gotten done taking a zebra out and now this lion wanted to fight. "I don't want to bother with you right now."

"You are on my lands and you will pay the price," Mufasa's deep voice bellowed at him.

_Well shit. He's up for a fight and I'm not. I guess we'll have to settle this his way, hmm?_ "Fine. Let's dance."

Saïx wasn't much of a match for Mufasa. The lion was not only bigger than him, but quicker and stronger. He was getting the crap clawed out of him. The worse thing was…Saïx couldn't go into Berserk mode. _What the hell is wrong with me? The one time I need it I can't do it? What am I missing?_ He glanced up and then noticed why. _Fuck, it's sunny out. No wonder._ Without the moon's power he was…well, powerless.

Saïx was hit right in the face since he wasn't paying attention. He slammed his head into the ground and a growl escaped him. This wasn't good, he was failing completely. The other two either hadn't noticed he didn't return or they didn't care. Crap. Crap crap. He was going to die by some kingly lion and no one would notice.

Something leapt over him and he heard a new roar, one that seemed…familiar in an odd sense. He moved his head to look and found Xemnas there. He was big, like Mufasa, and looked extremely powerful.

"Leave the fool alone, he understands his mistake and you've taken out your punishment on him."

"Get him off of my lands. I don't want to see him again."

"That won't be a problem, he won't come here again."

Saïx slowly got up and watched the two glare at each other, almost facing off. Xemnas finally turned to him and snarled, "We're going home." A portal appeared and Xemnas waited for Saïx to enter before going in himself.

They exited and found a large crowd standing about waiting for them to return. As they came in they all turned to face them curiously.

"Jeez, you look terrible," Axel commented on Saïx's roughed up looks. He had claw and bite marks all over him.

Xemnas hissed at him, "Don't talk. Any of you." He glared at Saïx then, "What in the world were you thinking going to the Pride Lands? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"No—"

"Then why are you being a complete imbecile and facing off against other lions? Do you process anything before you start acting? You would have died out there against him!"

"You make it sound like I just decided to test my strength or something! He attacked me out of nowhere!"

"You were trespassing! Don't you know anything?"

"I wasn't the only one there!"

"You were the only one fighting him."

"Sorry I didn't make it through the portal in time. Next time I'll be sure to throw Demyx to him instead, I'm sure THAT would go over well."

"There won't be a next time. You're not leaving this castle ever again."

"You can't bind me here."

The entire group watched the argument continue to unfold. This was going to get much, much worse. Wasn't it?

"I can bind you here, don't think I won't."

"Remember what happened last time you chained me to your bed?"

A few of the members chuckled at this while Demyx and Axel frowned at one another. Disturbing. Very disturbing.

"I don't have to physically bind you to stop your ridiculous escapades."

Saïx sighed, "I really hate you."

"You can't hate me, you don't have feelings."

"I remember what it's like. That's something you'll never be able to say."

This struck a nerve with Xemnas. He tensed and glared at him, "This conversation is over. Go to your room."

"Don't worry, I won't escape from my window or anything," Saïx commented and began to walk off. As he reached his room he could smell it. What was that? When he opened his door he was greeted by a zebra. A rather dead one, in fact. Shoot, what was he going to do with a dead zebra now?

"What's that repulsive smell?" Zexion asked as he was walking down the hallway with Xaldin, covering his noise as it hit him. Xaldin looked around wondering what he was talking about when it hit him full force.

"Hmm. I'm not sure."

Saïx saw them and entered into his room, closing the door quickly. How was he supposed to hide this thing? Oh god, it smelled. Oh, he could….take it to the kitchen and start draining it out or something! Though that would be really messy…

"I think it's coming from Saïx's room," Zexion mumbled and knocked on the door. "Saïx?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you hiding a dead body in there?"

"No?"

"Your room reeks."

"You're not even in my room."

"I have acute sense of smell, remember?"

Saïx rolled his eyes and threw a blanket over the dead animal. As if that didn't look suspicious at all. "If your smell is so sensitive I don't think you'll want to enter my room, then."

Zexion glanced up at Xaldin before glaring back at the door, "Just open the door."

Saïx slowly opened it up and smiled at them, "Hi."

Xaldin, who was towering over Saïx, could see the interesting lump on the floor. "What's that?"

Zexion couldn't see what looked suspicious since Saïx's body was in the way. "What is it?"

"A dead body?"

Both went from trying to get a closer look to staring at Saïx like he was insane. "Whose?"

"Your mom's."

"That is highly doubtful," Xaldin commented and finally shoved the door open with one hand, entering to get a better look. He lifted up the blanket slightly and dropped it, glancing back at him. "You brought a dead zebra home?"

Zexion shuddered, "Eugh, god it reeks."

Saïx closed the door quickly, "Xigbar and I were making deals. He said if I killed the thing I have to bring it home. And I'm going to make it….for dinner."

Both whipped their attention back at him, "You can't do that," they both said in unison.

"I can and I will."

"Xemnas will kill you," Zexion commented and covered his nose with his hand, "Don't you think you've pushed enough of his buttons?"

"Okay, he's blaming me for things I hardly did. It wasn't my fault Mufasa attacked me. Xigbar screwed around with some bird and it went and told Mufasa we were around. When we were escaping I was the last one in line, as Demyx is probably more vulnerable to getting hurt than I am. Thankfully Mufasa took his anger issues out on me and not on some kid that probably doesn't know how to fight. Xemnas just likes to make it sound like I deliberately go around and do things just to piss him off. Xigbar offered to take us. We accepted. There wasn't anything beyond that."

"Xemnas is most likely upset that you would continue to go to other worlds even when he told you not to leave the castle grounds. He's worried about your safety."

"He's not worried. He's just tired of finding me enjoying my life when I'm away from here."

Zexion crossed his arms over his chest, "You mean…you've left more often then when I've helped you?"

"Kind of. I visited family."

"You killed your family."

"Yes, because Xemnas told me to! He kept…lying to me about things, and I just didn't know what to go with. Then when I consulted with Beast he told me that killing them might be a good thing. Oh, but of course I killed them all for the wrong reasons. Reasons that weren't even real. I felt bad and stupid for what I did. They didn't deserve to die and I thought they did…"

Zexion raised an eyebrow, "How was it all a lie?"

"It was just…false. The things I read were made up."

Zexion tensed. He knew that Xemnas had messed around with Saïx's journal, but he wasn't sure to what extent. He had never read it. "How much of it was fake?"

"Everything. All of my memories aren't even real. The last person I was going to kill stopped me…and explained everything. So I never killed him. But…now he's all alone because of what I've done."

Zexion glanced down and nodded, "Oh, I see."

"If I could really feel…it'd be regret. I shouldn't have cared about relearning all of my past. I got curious, though. Now I want to try and help out my last friend and Xemnas doesn't want me to get anywhere near him."

Xaldin moved slightly, his figure unblocking the moonlight that poured in, "Xemnas doesn't want you to leave. He's attached to this Organization. If you start leaving he'd think you wouldn't come back. That offends him, and also makes him think others will follow in your steps."

"If he didn't treat me like a dog I probably wouldn't see the need to leave so often."

Zexion shrugged, "You should talk to him about that."

Saïx put his hands on his hips, "After I get a little bit of revenge." He moved over to the zebra, "Do either of you want to help me with this thing?"

Zexion shook his head, "Not me…I'm not a cook, nor am I high enough rank to get away with such a thing."

Xaldin smirked. Oho, Zexion was wussing out? "I'll help. I think…it'll be entertaining to see Xemnas's reaction."

Zexion moved from the room and headed for Xemnas's room. He wanted to know more about Saïx's visit to his friend. As he entered he found Xemnas pacing in the moonlight. "Superior."

Xemnas looked over at him, "What is it, Zexion?"

"I was curious….about Saïx."

"What of him?"

"He killed his family…and then spared a friend?"

Xemnas stopped and let out a small sigh, "He murdered his family, his friends, and their families. He stopped for one person, and that was his boyfriend."

Zexion glanced down and then back up at Xemnas, "He has a boyfriend?"

"Yes. A boy nicknamed 'Flower'. You saw him, he's the one with pink hair."

"Oh."

"By the time I got to the correct house, after finding several houses destroyed with dead bodies so massacred you could hardly tell they were once human, he was upstairs having sex with him. They both were covered in blood, Zexion, from Saïx's murder spree. I'm not sure who is crazier, his boyfriend or him."

"What'd you do?"

"I told Saïx that he was returning home immediately and he didn't fight it. Although, he wanted to take his friend someplace safe since he didn't have any family or friends left to live with."

"And what'd you say?"

"I told him no. It's bad enough that he let him live, but to continuously see him is dangerous for us."

"Well…if he cares for him then he's just trying to make sure he's safe."

"That's ridiculous. He can't care for him, he doesn't have feelings. Saïx is acting on past memories."

"Did you….rewrite his whole journal? He said that he killed everyone based on a pack of lies."

Xemnas shook his head, "I added a few pages on the back, but the rest he had written by himself. Supposedly he had a normal life and he was writing for fun, not for actual documentation."

Zexion frowned, "Wow."

There was a moment of silence before Xemnas spoke up, "I killed him."

Zexion stiffened, "His boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"If Saïx finds out he'll never forgive you. It'll cause him to completely distrust you, and what's more he'd try to find ways to leave the Organization and never come back. Why'd you do it?"

"He can't continuously disobey me. I told him not to go home. They thought he was dead, because he is. He doesn't need to be seen by the outside world or by anyone for that matter. We live here for a reason, and it's because we don't belong anywhere else. Saïx defies those rules, and soon someone or something will try to stop what we're doing. We are killers, we need people's hearts. If that information spread throughout the worlds we'd be hunted down and destroyed. I won't let that happen."

Zexion nodded, "I see. How will you break it to him, then?"

Xemnas hesitated as he was still in deep thought. He turned toward Zexion, "You will help me do it."

Zexion pointed at himself, "Me?"

"Yes. You are a master of illusion; you can pretend to be Flower."

Zexion felt embarrassed. He knew that mimicking others was just a part of his powers, but having to be some other person's boyfriend would feel weird. "How is that going to resolve anything? I don't want to get involved with Saïx."

"No, you don't have to. Let's say this: he goes to visit Flower, he gets upset at something, he 'kills' Flower. He wouldn't know that he was already dead, and you're good at what you do."

"What could possibly provoke him to kill his boyfriend?"

"I could step in….threaten to take you away from him…he'd get enraged by that. When he goes into Berserk mode he has no conscious on what he does. When he comes out you'll be faking death, he wouldn't know whether I killed you or he did."

"This seems really cruel…he'd feel like a complete monster once he 'kills' me."

"He is one he needs to come to terms with that."

"No he's not."

Xemnas frowned and turned his head toward Zexion, "Excuse me?"

"I…mean. I just…don't think he's a terrible person. He tries really hard to fit in, but he holds himself back because he's afraid of hurting anyone."

Xemnas continued to watch Zexion as the boy hung his head, talking to the ground. He was used to Zexion's submissive behavior. But every time he talked like this…he was usually right. "I see. Whatever happens we'll have to support him afterward. He'll no longer feel bound to his old life if there's nothing there to want."

"Yes, Superior."

"Warn me if he asks you about leaving at any point. We'll need to keep a close eye out on him."

"Of course, Superior."

7777777

The wafting smell of food filled the hallways and lingered in the lounging room. Axel sniffed the air and his stomach growled, "That…smells good."

Xigbar nodded, "I hope there's plenty for all of us."

Demyx smirked, "By god I wouldn't doubt it."

Xigbar gave a slight chuckle and sat up, "Rub a dub dub, let's get some grub." The three got up and moved toward the kitchen area where the smell was stronger. Their mouths watered and they took their seats wondering when it would be done. Saïx exited the kitchen and noticed the group that had gathered.

"Nice apron," Axel joked. It was pink and said 'Kiss the Cook' across the front.

"Xaldin forced me to wear it. The food is almost done."

"Where are you going now?"

Saïx smirked, "I'm getting everyone else. I'll be back, don't worry." He sent Lexaeus to get Zexion and Xemnas while he took a personal journey to Vexen's lab. He walked around and soon found the scientist messing with a gerbil. "Vexen, hello."

Vexen glanced at Saïx's apron and frowned, "You've got the wrong person."

"Uh, no it's not the apron. I was wondering if you could make something for me."

"Like what?"

"Could you make anything that…I dunno…makes someone horny enough to have sex with someone else?"

Vexen blinked, "I don't have that handy, sorry."

"Could you…make something like that?"

"Why don't you go get some Viagra?"

"I want it in liquid form."

"Why?"

"Small throat. Can't exactly swallow things very easily."

Vexen processed this and opened his mouth before closing it. "This isn't really for you, is it?"

"If I told you it was Axel he'd kill me." Saïx paused. "Oh crap."

"Axel wants an erection? That's odd."

"Pretend I never said his name. Anyway….he asked me to ask you. I guess he's…embarrassed or something to approach anyone about it?"

Vexen shrugged, "I suppose. What do I get out of all of this?"

Saïx smiled, "I made dinner! I think you'll like it."

Vexen blinked, "Really? We normally don't have dinner together that often." Vexen continued to roll it over in his mind, "All right, I know what to do. It won't be that hard." He went off and started grabbing things. Within minutes Vexen was finished. He handed the liquid over to Saïx and nodded, "Tell Axel to drink it all down in one sitting and he'll have the greatest time of his life. Guaranteed to last 8 hours."

"Wow. I bet he'll enjoy it."

"I hope so, too."

Saïx moved out and pocketed the item. _And now to put this baby to good use_. He went back into the kitchen and saw everyone sitting there ready for him. He slipped through the doors and saw Xaldin preparing the plates. "I'll get the drinks."

"I can't wait to see Xemnas's face when you tell him what this is."

"I'll wait until he eats it all."

"Cruel, yet perfect."

Saïx started to pour out the drinks and noticed the cups were numbered. Wow. He dumped the interesting liquid into Xemnas's drink and noticed it looked like everyone else's. _Ahaha, and now, Xemnas, you'll really meet my wrath. You think you can make a mockery of me? You'd have wished otherwise._

He threw off the apron and came out after Xaldin, both of them serving the entire group. Xemnas looked somewhat surprised.

"What made you do this?" He questioned, watching the plate and drink be set before him.

"I make your life difficult, so I'm trying to make up for it."

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, a slight smile coming to his face, "Really?"

"Yeah. And also because I killed this animal and I wasn't going to let it go to waste."

The others gave a soft chuckle while Xemnas delicately cut himself a bite to eat, "What animal is it?"

Xigbar, Xaldin, Zexion, and Demyx glanced at Saïx curiously wondering if he'd say anything. Lexaeus caught wind of the odd behavior. Should he eat this? He noticed Xemnas take a bite and not fall over dead.

"You'll have to guess; we can make it a game."

Xemnas chewed thoughtfully and swallowed, "Is it antelope?"

"Nope."

Xigbar took a jab and started to eat happily. He was starving and he didn't care what it used to be, "Warthog?" Yeah, pretend he wasn't there.

"Nope." Saïx started to eat, too. _Mmm, zebra is freaking delicious._ His eyes went over to Xemnas. _He's drinking, too. That's awesome. He'll be horny and pissy at me, and then we'll just have sex. Hahaha!_

"Lion?" Zexion guessed, too, just to keep the game going.

"Nada."

Lexaeus munched on the meat. He had a very good palate and could tell exactly what it was. He had tried zebra before and many other exotic animals. But….if it WAS zebra, which he assumed it was….

His eyes went to Xemnas who was enjoying the food without a care. Oh no.

His eyes turned to Zexion. Number VI at first didn't realize someone was staring at him until he looked up, Lexaeus's gaze blazing into his. He frowned and raised an eyebrow. What was wrong now?

Lexaeus created a rock and pulled out a marker, writing on the back of it. He handed it to Zexion.

'Zebra?'

Zexion almost died. He had forgotten Lexaeus was a food God. He opened his mouth and wanted to say something but couldn't say a thing to say. Slowly he returned the rock and gave a weak smile.

Lexaeus's eyes bulged. Zexion KNEW it was zebra! That meant….

He looked at Xaldin. He knew, too. And since Xigbar and Demyx were with him…

The only people who probably didn't know were Axel, Vexen, and Xemnas.

"Flamingo?" Demyx guessed for his third time.

"Nope."

Xemnas continued to eat, "Why not give us a hint?"

"It has four legs."

"Um…anything more specific than that?"

Saïx thought it over, "It's not a bird."

Xemnas blinked, "Hence why it has four legs. I don't know any four-legged birds, do you?"

Saïx shrugged, "I'd hate to give it away."

"Hooves." Lexaeus boomed.

Saïx almost died at that. _Please, be a bit louder and scarier when you speak, I think I enjoy it. Holy shit turds, that was just…wow._ "Yes, it has hooves."

Xemnas wrinkled his brow in thought as he took another bite, "Hmmmm….what about…bison?"

"No."

"Wildebeest?"

"Nope."

"A….wild horse?"

Saïx thought it over and turned to Demyx, "Would you classify it as a horse?"

Demyx shrugged, "Sure."

Saïx turned back to Xemnas, "You're getting closer."

"A moose?" Axel questioned. They all stared at him like he was a moron.

"Moose don't live in the Pride Lands, idiot," Xaldin mumbled and finished his drink.

"Oh."

Most of them had finished. Saïx glanced at Xemnas who finished his drink gingerly, "All right…I'll tell you."

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "What was it?"

"A zebra."

Xemnas's curious look fell completely. He winced and frowned, "You….aren't serious, are you?"

"Yeah, why would I be joking?"

Xemnas continued to stare at him. Saïx and the others found it really hard not to smile, but their stony looks prevailed. Xemnas got up and left without another word.

After several moments of silence Xigbar started to snort and laugh, the combination of both being rather entertaining. "Holy Kingdom Hearts, did you see his face?"

This started to make a few of the others chuckle besides Lexaeus. "That was cruel."

Zexion bashfully lost his smile, "Well…I don't think Saïx was trying to be mean about it."

Lexaeus glared, "Right."

Saïx shrugged, "I just wanted to make him some dinner."

"Lies." Lexaeus stood up and left the group.

Axel played with his hair, "I'm….not understanding what's going on."

Vexen sighed, "It seems these silly buffoons planned to feed Xemnas zebra meat all along. Xemnas happens to be fond of the creatures, so making him eat one seems cruel and unusual. But what can I say, it was rather entertaining to see Xemnas use a facial expression for once."

This made Xaldin laugh, which seemed very out of place, causing the rest of them to uproar in laughter. Finally there was a break where they were gasping for breath and trying to wipe tears from their eyes.

"Wow, that was a good laugh," Xigbar commented and rubbed his belly, "I'll clean up, eh? Thanks for dinner, dudes."

Saïx shrugged, "Don't mention it." And now to go visit Xemnas.

When he reached the room he found Xemnas exiting his bathroom looking rather meekly. "Something wrong?"

Xemnas glared, "You fed me zebra! How….inhuman of you."

"You make it sound like I cooked a baby and made you eat it. What's wrong?"

"I happen to like zebras…"

"Oh."

_Because that isn't obvious by the shit ton of zebras he has adorned in his room. Eh. Act clueless._ "I still have its fur and head if you want it." Xemnas gave him a really offended look. "What? Sorry! I didn't know!"

Xemnas crossed his arms over his chest, "What's more…I don't have a gag reflex it seems, so I'm stuck digesting the thing."

"That….turned me on a little."

"Don't start with me. You have a boyfriend, and I'm not interested."

Saïx shrugged, "Even if you're not interested…if you ever get the arousal I'll gladly help you take care of it."

Xemnas shook his head, "You disgust me."

"Eh, whatever. Go take a shower, wash off any zebra parts you might have dropped on yourself." Saïx left his room. And now to wait and see the effects. He went to his room to take a quick shower. _I take so many showers it's not even funny. I take one, I get messy, I take another, I get bloody, I take one more, then I murder a zebra. It's insane._ For once in his life, though, he did take a quick shower. He wrapped up any interesting holes or gashes he had. Like where he was shot, where he was stabbed, and the burn marks on his back, not to mention the interesting claw marks Mufasa gave him on his neck and legs. _I must look really pathetic to Xemnas every time he sees me. I'm always wrapped up like a mummy thanks to my inability to stop getting hurt._

He moved down the quiet hallways and reached Xemnas's door, moving in slowly. Xemnas was still taking a shower. _Hmm. Maybe I should burst in on him while he's already in bed? He wouldn't be able to move from there without being embarrassed. Ha! Genius!_ Saïx moved to a dark corner and waited…

Xemnas was inside his shower scrubbing gently around his shoulders letting the warm water spread down his skin. He smiled at how nice it felt, even if he couldn't enjoy it. That was when…something happened. He felt like he was aching, but it was an odd aching feeling. His eyes went down and he realized what was going on. He slapped the water to cold and almost screamed at the sudden change. He cringed and crossed his arms over his chest. It'll go away. It'll go away. How in the world did this happen to him??

His eyes went down.

It was still there. Guh. He felt himself continue to shudder under the freezing water, waiting for the nice erection to disappear. How did he get aroused? There wasn't anything even pleasurable happening. Yes, he liked showering, but that didn't mean anything!

Several minutes passed and he still had an issue going on. All right, he'd finish the shower and just go straight to bed. That'd help, right? Sleeping it away?

He quickly finished and got out of the shower, drying himself off. God, he felt like a teenaged boy or something. What was wrong with his body?

He dressed and wrapped himself up in a robe before heading out of the room and getting into bed. Right. Sleep. He could do that. Xemnas laid on his back and let the many blankets cover him. He still felt the sensation down below. God. He needed to do something about that.

That, of course, was when he saw Saïx in the corner. Did he notice anything? Impossible, he was wearing a robe. Wait, was his robe too thin? No, it couldn't be. Ugh. "Saïx?"

Saïx came over, "I was wondering when you'd notice me."

"How…long have you been standing there?"

"Not too long." He got closer, watching as Xemnas retracted slightly at the sight of him. "Can I sleep in here tonight? My room smells like….dead zebra."

Xemnas winced, "Um. Well."

"Well what? Did you already invite someone else to sleep in your bed?"

"No?"

"Then I should be fine." Saïx got on top of him, making sure it was right on his hips, "Right?"

Xemnas almost died. If Saïx found out he'd never let it go. "I'd prefer you not sit on me."

Saïx raised an eyebrow and pulled on the blankets, "Well, you are in the spot I normally sleep in."

Xemnas moved upward as fast as he could, almost hitting his head into Saïx's, "I'll move." His hips were still pinned by Saïx. "I said I'll move, so get off."

"Why are you being so submissive suddenly? What are you, naked underneath that robe?" Saïx gently pulled on it. Xemnas smacked his hand away.

"Don't be ridiculous. I want to sleep so I don't want to argue."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Riiight. You don't even look tired. Or are you just upset about the zebra?" _Or uncontrollably horny right now that the touch of my hot body is sending you into shock?_

"Yes. I am upset. That's all it is."

"I could help you with that."

"No thank you."

Saïx rubbed at Xemnas's shoulder, pulling the robe down as he did so, "Oh come on, how's about some sex?"

"No, Saïx."

"Then let's cuddle."

Xemnas sighed, "No."

"If you lay on your stomach I could massage your hips, loosen them up a little."

"What??"

"It's either that or I do it from the front." Saïx dove his hands below the blanket, ready to grab at him. Xemnas grabbed his quickly and glared.

"Don't you dare."

"Well…what's it going to be?"

Xemnas pushed Saïx away from him, "Fine, have at my back. I don't care." He quickly moved to lay on his stomach, deciding that would probably be a good position for the rest of the night. Saïx wouldn't be able to find out that he was hiding something that way.

Saïx happily pulled the bathrobe away and began to caress Xemnas's skin, starting up at his shoulders and gently working downward. "You should relax more often."

Xemnas wished he could right now, but considering his lower region was having a party of its own, it was quite impossible. "If you were me you'd have a reason to always be stressed."

"I wonder why that is?" Saïx rubbed his hips softly, dragging his hand down to touch his thighs. He let his thumbs press between his legs and slowly move upward.

Xemnas stiffened, "Don't pull anything on me, all right?"

"Pull what?" Saïx tugged down on Xemnas's boxers, "I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't like."

Xemnas grabbed his boxers and tugged them back to safety, "Oh please. Just lie down and sleep."

Saïx took that as an invitation to get on top of Xemnas and snuggle in all he wanted. As he pressed his body against Xemnas's back he smiled at him over his shoulder, "How's this?"

Xemnas didn't reply at first, still thinking about his interesting situation that still hadn't fixed itself. He shrugged, "Fine." His eyes glanced back at Saïx, "If you don't do anything stupid I'll let you stay in this position."

"Really?" Saïx rubbed Xemnas's side, "How nice of you."

Xemnas sighed and put his head under the pillow. That was much better. Now he didn't have to talk, right? As they continued to lie silently, though, Xemnas was growing impatient with the fact that his body was still throbbing and yearning for things he couldn't even enjoy. And now that Saïx was on top of him he couldn't move to adjust or to go into the bathroom to figure out what might be the problem. He was pinned here. Another sigh escaped him.

"Something wrong?" Saïx questioned as he heard and felt the sigh.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Saïx implored, hand resting on Xemnas's arm comfortingly.

"It's nothing you can fix." Though Saïx would probably think otherwise, wouldn't he? Ugh.

_Listen to him. I've made him wish he wasn't anywhere near me. That's great. I wonder if my hand…slowly went exploring? At some point he's going to go to sleep…Wait. Why take my time? He's got an erection…all I need to do is find something that he finds pleasurable. What part of his body would he enjoy having stroked without getting freaked out?_ Saïx glanced curiously at Xemnas's body and let his eyes move over to the mirror. _Look at his chest span. It's so…so…_ Saïx blinked. _Does he like having his chest rubbed?_ Saïx traced from Xemnas's arm and up to his shoulder, slowly bringing it down to Xemnas's back. His fingers gently spread against his skin and wrapped around the sides of his chest, giving him a soft massage. "I wish I could help."

Xemnas felt calmed as Saïx touched him. That wasn't normal, he should be freaking out. Possibly could be because he was stroking his chest… He leaned to the side, trying to glance back at Saïx with a glare. It wasn't much of a glare at all.

Saïx smirked at him and easily slipped his hand onto his chest, rubbing him gently. "How's that feel?"

Xemnas contemplated how it felt. He wanted to just say 'not pleasurable at all' but he knew Saïx would try harder if he did say that. How did it feel anyway? "Hmm." Was all that came from him. There was no other way to describe it.

Saïx licked his neck softly, hearing Xemnas moan almost. "Do you want more?" His hot breath struck against Xemnas's neck, almost panting at how excited he was starting to become. "I have plenty for you."

Xemnas felt how strong the sensation was. He shouldn't do anything…but…the yearning was there. He remembered when Saïx was with his boyfriend, how their moans and screams had came down to the room below them. He had stayed there for several minutes unsure if he wanted to bother going upstairs or not. And now here he was….he could have that same pleasure. Even if he couldn't feel it…he could pretend. And if Saïx grew to like him even more than now…he would completely forgot about Flower. Then he wouldn't need to lie to him and have Zexion pretend to be the damsel.

Xemnas grabbed onto Saïx and pulled him closer, kissing Saïx.

_Wow, that really worked. I'll have to remember that from now on!_ Saïx pressed himself into Xemnas, feeling the Superior start to push him down. Soon Xemnas was dominating him. That wasn't the only thing, though, that Saïx had noticed. The warmth and stiffness below was pressing hard against him, and he could feel it throbbing. "Fuck me," he hissed in between a kiss.

Xemnas slowed down, "It'll hurt, I don't have anything to use…"

Saïx smirked, "I know just the trick." He moved Xemnas onto his back and soon slipped below the sheets. Xemnas felt Saïx's tongue attack him and he stiffened, letting out a small gasp of surprise and pleasure. That was a new sensation. He…liked it. A smirk came to his face as he felt Saïx drag his teeth gently against his flesh, making him tense more at the feeling. His hands grabbed the sheets and clawed into the bed as Saïx went further, to the point he could feel more than just the back of his throat. His moments of pleasure changed when Saïx pulled away and came out from under the sheets, straddling him with ease.

Their rhythm was perfect, and each gasp and moan fueled the other to continue onward, just to hear the other return the pleasured noise. Their bodies became tender and sore to the point they slowed down, sensually caressing each other so as to avoid causing pain. At long last they stopped, resting side by side as their eyes stared up at the ceiling.

"That wasn't too bad," Xemnas broke their silence, tired but not ready to sleep.

Saïx nodded, "Felt great to me."

"You bite a lot."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Don't like it?"

"No…it's enjoyable."

Saïx smirked, "Good, because I'm not changing."

Xemnas shook his head, "It was perfect."

"We should do this more often."

Xemnas sat up slightly and looked at him, "I don't really want to make it a regular thing…"

"Then let's make it a surprise?"

"I don't like surprises."

"Can't blame you on that one, I don't like surprises either."

Xemnas thought it over and got back into his comfortable position, "Why not…we wait a week and see how things turn out before we plan anything else?"

"Well…I'm not much for planning. You do the thinking and I'll just follow."

Xemnas chuckled, "Yes, I see. We'll do that, then."

7777777

As the week passed by Xemnas grew more and more attached to the thought that…having Saïx around him more would easily drive off his feelings for Flower. It was brilliant…and he would have to follow through with it. Besides, the sex and everything else wasn't too bad. He…had always been one to become extremely attached to things. Like the Organization in itself, he couldn't really stand them bickering at all. So it was easy for him to like the idea of having Saïx around him all the time like a favorite pet.

One day Xemnas had to leave for a small business trip. He stood in his room talking to Saïx since he had skipped out on the morning meeting…for the tenth time in a row. Not that he cared, Saïx was easier to get along with when he didn't come to the meetings anyway.

"I'll only be gone for a few hours."

"Where at?"

"That's my little secret."

Saïx frowned but smiled again, "Are you going to get me a gift?"

Xemnas rolled his eyes, "How's about a bone? I hear dogs love those."

"Whatever you get me I'll like."

Xemnas shrugged and opened a portal, "I'll think about it, how's that sound?"

Saïx pulled him close and kissed him roughly before letting him go, "Anything will do."

Xemnas smiled and went through the portal finally, leaving Saïx. He wondered if the boy would play well with the others? He hadn't really left his room that much…

Saïx moved from the room and wondered what he could do now. Xemnas, his only entertainment, was gone. He'd have to bother someone!

"Heeey, look who it is! Where've you been, Saïx? Haven't seen you in a long time," Axel commented from within a room. Saïx blinked and turned to face him and noticed Xigbar and Xaldin were in there with him.

"I think I've been hibernating for the past week…"

"Jeez, you really are a beast."

Saïx entered, "Had to heal somehow. It helps when I don't move at all, makes it harder to get hurt that way."

Axel nodded, "Makes sense, man. Hey, sit down and join us! Demyx is coming in a little bit with candy if you want some."

Saïx sat down and looked at the others, "What did I miss?"

Xigbar shrugged, "Nothing, really. No new members, no exciting meetings. It's like when you're not having tantrums all the fun disappears."

Saïx nodded, "Yeah…I can see how you'd get bored."

Xaldin crossed his arms over his chest, "Have you been sleeping this entire time in Xemnas's room, or do you just happen to wake up in his bed every morning by accident?"

Saïx shrugged, "You know, I'm never sure. Sometimes I'm sneaking into Zexion's room for a quick bang and the next thing I know I'm waking up to the Superior telling me about how great my hips are."

Xigbar snorted and pointed at Saïx, "He likes your back more, I can tell."

"How so?"

"It's all he ever sees when he's having sex with you."

The others laughed at the joke while Saïx only smiled. Yeah, okay, so maybe that might be another reason why Xemnas would like his back, but STILL. Xigbar should not say those things, Xemnas would probably freak out. Then again…who ever told these things to Xemnas anyway?

Demyx came rushing in and smiled as he saw Saïx, "Hey! It's my best friend! I've missed you!"

He leapt and landed on Saïx's lap causing the man to grunt at the sudden crushing power of this kid. _My God this kid is like a sack of bricks. I think he's crushed all of my organs. Ugh._

"What do you have there?" Saïx pointed at the bag in his hand. Demyx quickly produced a long lollipop…which easily reminded Saïx of a penis. "Hmm…I wonder what you're going to do with that."

The elder members caught on quite quickly and tried to push the thought away. They didn't need to taint poor Demyx's mind.

"Lick it, of course. Would you like to try?" Demyx offered it to Saïx. _Oh I'll lick it all right, and suck it, and deep throat it, too. Man, I could blow this kid's mind if I really wanted to. And perhaps it'll give the guys a little insight on what I've been doing with the Superior? Hey, they deserve to know that I'm the favorite for a reason, right?_

"I don't know…I think I'd rather see how far down I could put it in my mouth."

Axel smirked, "Why don't you?"

Demyx blinked, "Wouldn't he get a lot of spit on it that way?"

Xigbar shrugged, "Unless he's dry from doing it too much."

Xaldin snorted and shook his head, but Demyx clearly didn't understand. "Maybe you should drink some water if your throat is dry?"

Saïx rolled his eyes, "It isn't dry."

Axel leaned forward, "Yeah? I wonder how easily you could put that stick down your throat. I mean…must be pretty hard, right?"

Demyx frowned before smiling, "Maybe we can make it a competition?"

Xigbar started to hoot with laughter and finally got a serious face on, "You're on, kid. Whoever wins…"

Saïx interrupted, "Gets to decide what the loser has to do."

Axel frowned, "Well…this is interesting. Who wants to go first?"

Xaldin shook his head, "I'm not in this, I'll just be the judge."

Xigbar snorted, "Fine, back down from the game. I'll go first! I am II for a reason!"

"Because you always get second place?" Saïx commented as the lollipop was handed over. Xigbar only scoffed before making disgusting noises, as if ready to hack a chunk of his lung onto the thing. Axel began to cringe and almost died as it continued.

"Eugh, I wish I went first instead," Axel commented and then watched as Xigbar put the thing in his mouth and slowly tried to push it down further. But he gagged and pulled it out, coughing.

"Eck, I hate apple flavored lollipops," Xigbar commented and pointed at his…lovely spit that gleamed on the stick, "Hey! Look at that! Not too bad, eh?"

Axel was turning pretty green himself staring at the sight of the green lollipop, "Ew."

Demyx giggled, "Are you going to go next, Axel?"

Axel shook his head, "Uh…I forfeit. I think I'll puke if I try."

Xigbar laughed, "Slobber can't hurt you."

"But it's so slimy and…" Axel shuddered, "Yeah, no. Not going there."

Demyx took it and shrugged, "Whatever! I want to try!" Demyx, being the wonderful kid he was, tried shoving it down as fast as he could. He almost died as he pulled it away and coughed, "Ow! That hurt!"

Saïx laughed at him, "That's why you go slowly."

Demyx caressed his neck and handed it to Saïx, "Well…YOU try."

Saïx took it and stared at the part where the saliva stopped. _Well, let's make this easy, eh?_ He licked the entire lollipop first, the others watching him curiously as he did his job. Then he tilted his head back and let it slide down gently. _I've done this so many times it's not even funny. Tastes pretty good, too._ It got to the point the stick was now where he could clamp his teeth on it, so he did and let go, showing the others the 'no hands!' trick before pulling it out with ease. As he looked at them he finally noticed how freaked out they were about it. "What?"

Xigbar nodded, "Yeah….that's got to have been practiced."

Xaldin rubbed his temple, "I'm assuming if I asked you if you were once a sword swallower in your life, you'd know which type of sword I'm talking about."

Saïx smiled, "I've put a lot of things in my mouth."

Axel chuckled, "Yeah, we can tell. What was your nickname for that trick of yours?"

Xigbar answered for him, "The Flexible Deep-Throater, obviously. Hey, that would make a great nickname for him! We've been trying to think of one this entire time, and all we came up with was Luna Diviner."

Saïx frowned, "A nickname for what?"

Xigbar smirked, "We all have nicknames….or well, official job names. Like Axel is the Flurry of Dancing Flames."

Axel blinked, "I am? Cool!"

"And Demyx is the Melodious Nocturne."

Demyx smiled, "Ooh, sounds pretty."

Saïx leaned forward, "And you want to call me the Flexible Deep-Throater?"

"Or Luna Diviner. I guess you can choose. Which do you think your enemy would be more afraid of? The fact that you don't have a gag reflex…or the fact that you worship a moon?"

Saïx frowned, "I think I fail either way. Though it does sound creepier if I suck dick as a power. Then again, I sound insane and incoherent if I worship a moon…that's in the shape of a heart…that steals hearts because I killed things. Either way, I'm fucked."

Axel shrugged, "At least no one would want to fight you. I mean, your weapon kind of makes me want to piss myself. I've got tambourines to fight with."

Demyx held up a hand, "Actually they're chakrams, Axel. And you're lucky yours has sharp things on it. I've got a sitar."

Saïx shook his head, "Dude, you DROWN people. That's got to be the worst way to die."

Demyx pouted, "Aw, now I feel bad."

Xigbar nodded, "He's right. You have to watch yourself die as you can no longer breathe since you're inhaling water."

Demyx shook his head, "No! I wouldn't do it on purpose! I'm not a fighter! I'm a lover!"

Xaldin snorted, "Spoken like a true merciless killer."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "How many people HAVE you killed, Demyx?"

Demyx continued to shake his head, this time flailing his hands around, "None!! I swear!!"

Saïx frowned, "I've killed a lot of people…and I'm not afraid to admit it."

Xigbar nodded, "Yeah, but that's because you're temperamental and beyond crazy. Your power is to fuck people up without even recognizing it."

Saïx shrugged, "At least I won't feel bad once I'm done doing my job." _Not necessarily true, I always feel bad after I do something as dumb as kill a person…who clearly didn't deserve to die. Guh. They know how to bring a guy down, don't they?_

Zexion was walking by in the hallway when he stopped and saw the crowd, "What kind of an odd meeting is this?"

Saïx glanced over, "The Orgy kind?"

Axel blinked, "I never really noticed 'Organization' and 'Orgy' could relate until now."

Zexion started to edge away, unsure if he wanted to join the band of morons. But they hollered at him to return, calling him a stiff if he didn't sit down and enjoy some relaxation for a bit. Slowly he entered and sat down, his feet coming up onto the couch automatically. _Man, he must really be self-conscious about his height…which is why I'm going to continue to point it out to him._

"There you go again, putting your feet up."

Zexion raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"You put your feet up every time you sit down."

Zexion shook his head, "I don't when we're at meetings."

"But no one can see under the table when we have meetings," Saïx commented.

Zexion blinked and looked down, "What are you trying to get at?"

Xigbar smiled, "That you're short and your feet don't touch the ground."

Demyx beamed, "Really? I didn't know you couldn't touch the ground! That's funny!"

Zexion sighed, "Oh yeah, I'm dying of laughter." Sarrrcccaaaasssmmm.

Zexion's words made the others start to laugh, just because of how bitter he was at the whole thing. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared, "How can you even make fun of me? It's SAÏX who we should be pointing fingers at. He's such a brown noser it's pathetic."

Saïx raised an eyebrow. _He's jealous that I'm in the Superior's pants all the time? That's funny._ "I can't help that I'm too attractive to resist."

"Ha, very funny. I think you're just the Superior's favorite because he gets easily attached to things and he doesn't know how to let go."

"He is a bit clingy, but I don't mind. Makes sex better that way."

Xaldin sighed, "Here we go again. You and the Superior hooching it up behind his door. Does he even notice you're in his room? You seem like that dog that no one bothers with except when you get in the way."

Saïx frowned, "Why does everyone keep referring to me as a pet?"

Demyx smiled, "I think it's because you look fluffy like a kitten!" Demyx pet Saïx's hair happily, "I love kittens!"

"You just indirectly declared love to Saïx," Axel interjected. They fell silent and stared at Demyx as the boy tried to defend himself.

"N-No! That's not what I meant! Kittens are just cute! But I didn't mean Saïx is cute! Well I don't mean he's not cute, but he isn't cute. I mean. I don't know what I mean! Ahh!! Yelling!! Confusement!!"

"That is a cool word," Xigbar commented and smirked, "It's all right, kid, there's nothing wrong with kittens or Saïx. I officially approve the kitty-Saïx theory."

"That's not even a theory, Xigbar," Zexion corrected, "It was just a dumb statement. Besides, I think Saïx's attributes should be based more on his personality than his looks."

"Uh…so…what's temperamental, moody, and horny all the time?" Axel questioned.

"Teenagers?" Demyx questioned and shook his head, "Naaah."

Xaldin shook his head, "That's not even an animal, though it does deserve its own special group. I think Saïx is more like a yeti."

Xigbar snorted, "I think you're more the yeti than Saïx is."

Axel nodded, "Yeah, I'd have to agree with Xigbar. With your weird accent, if you did a yeti holler I think I'd just die."

"And that's why I will never do such things around you," Xaldin commented.

_Whoa. Seeing Xaldin in Star Wars would be great._ "I hear wolves can get pretty bitchy when they want to."

"Yeah…and they dominate the younger ones in anger and piss all over things. Sounds like you," the redhead leaned forward, "I think Demyx is more accurate. You sleep all the time, and sometimes you're in a good mood when Xemnas pets you, but other than that you have claws and sharp teeth. The only thing you've got going for you is that wonderful look you give people with those cute eyes and sometimes you meow."

They fell silent in analysis. "Yeah, Demyx wins," Xigbar agreed.

_Ugh, fail. I am not a kitten._ "Whatever. I should just claim I'm a zebra, Xemnas would want to fuck me more if I was."

The others practically died at that, only because the fact that they still remembered the zebra eating incident, and the fact that Xemnas did have such an odd obsession with zebras.

"I'm surprised you didn't get all up on his rump in the Pride Lands," Axel said.

"Hey…I was a little busy being manhandled by freaking Mufasa to do anything useful. My God, he was a bitch."

"You can say that again."

Their conversation continued until late in the night, when Xemnas did finally return. He found everyone gathered in the same room talking and he entered cautiously. "Having fun?"

They all turned their attention to him before Saïx spoke up for the group, "Oh no, everyone put your clothes back on!"

Axel sighed, "Aww, where's the fun in that?"

Xigbar raised his hand, "I swear we didn't have sex on the couch."

Xemnas leaned on the back of Saïx's chair, "I hope not, the couches are rather fragile. You break it you'll be paying me for a new couch."

Saïx smiled, "I did have sex in your closet, though."

"It's clearly an armoire," Xemnas replied, stretching his words out as he talked.

Saïx almost pointed it out but didn't. Oh, but he waaaanted to. "A what?"

"Armoire."

"An arrrrrmmmooiiiirrreee?"

Xemnas stared at him and looked away, "Yes." He didn't like being made fun of. It put him in a bad mood.

"You should hear what he found in there," Xigbar replied to lighten up the mood.

"And what would that be?"

Saïx smirked, "A zebra."

Xemnas at first didn't register this until he frowned, "I really hope you didn't go to the Pride Lands again. If I find any odd creatures lying around in my room—"

"It wasn't a real one! Jeez. Just your underwear."

Xemnas nodded, "I forgot about those."

Demyx raised a hand, "You hide underwear in your armoire?"

Xemnas shrugged, "I don't know what resides in that thing I normally don't bother to look."

Saïx smirked, "Good, you don't want to know what's been lost in there."

Xemnas sighed, "Dare I ask?"

Axel spoke up, "Probably your virginity."

Xigbar snorted and began to crack up. He was getting a kick out of this Axel guy. "Who knew the Superior was a closest case?"

Saïx shook his head, "He's clearly not, since it's an arrrrrmmmooooiiiirrrrreeee."

Xemnas sighed, "How truly expected of you. Well, I'm going to my room."

Saïx got up, "Already?"

Xemnas nodded, "Unfortunately I've been working all day…unlike some of you…and I'm hardly in the mood for your antics or your distasteful remarks."

Saïx glanced at the others. His remarks were distasteful? Eh. "Wait…were you only saying that MY remarks were against your likings?"

Xemnas started to walk off, "I suppose you'll never know."

Saïx followed, "Hey!"

The others raised an eyebrow at that before Zexion sighed, "Wow…subtle in removing his boy toy from our presence."

Xigbar laughed, "Oh calm down, let them have their fun. It isn't like they can enjoy it."

Vexen nodded, "Of course. Let them have awkward boy sex and then figure out it's just not meant to be. I can't wait for future meetings where they don't look at each other and try to avoid talking in case the other might comment. It'll be a wonderful experience."

"You know, Saïx never did pick what the loser of our lollipop game should do," Demyx commented.

Axel blinked and smiled, "Whoa whoa…wait. I've got it. One of us should interrupt them! Do you know how AWKWARD that would BE?"

Xigbar smirked, "I'll soooo do it. Not only will I get away with it…but hey, I've got to see this with my own eye, eh?"

Demyx giggled, "Your own eye, because you only have one. That's funny!"

Xigbar posed, "Hey, I give credit where credit is due."

While this was going on, the other two had entered into Xemnas's room quietly. Saïx frowned and grabbed onto Xemnas, "What did I say?? You're upset at me!"

Xemnas laughed, "No I'm not. It was the only thing I could think of that would get you out of the room. Now be a good boy, I want to read."

Xemnas undid his cloak and hung it up, sitting down on the bed with ease using the headboard to lean against. Saïx watched this. He moved forward, shedding his own cloak before crawling on the bed in between Xemnas's legs, "Did you buy me a gift?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. You only get it if you're being good." Xemnas opened up the book and started to read without questioning Saïx's advancements. Saïx slipped closer, hand grabbing Xemnas's thigh as he peered over the book top.

"I'm not the best at being good."

Xemnas continued to read, ignoring Saïx. The man went lower and wrapped his arms around Xemnas's stomach, looking up at him longingly, "Can we have sex now?"

Xemnas kept reading, his ability to ignore him was rather amazing. Saïx pouted, but then heard the door open. He glanced back curiously to see who was there. Xigbar.

"Hey, Superior…uh…sorry, am I interrupting something?" Xigbar asked, his face showing some concern about their current position.

Xemnas shook his head, "Oh no, you're fine. I'm only reading, and Saïx is….well…being Saïx."

Xigbar nodded before raising an eyebrow, "Sooo…is this a normal thing?"

Saïx smiled, "I always need a hug before I go to bed. It's refreshing."

Xigbar laughed, "Ah…okay. A hug. Looked like it was more than that."

Xemnas glanced at him, "Are you insinuating I'd do something with Saïx?"

"Oh no, it looks more like Saïx would do something to you! But aside from that….his interesting position makes it hard to tell."

Saïx started to rub the back of Xemnas's thigh, "What we do is consensual."

Xemnas blinked, "I didn't agree to this."

Saïx smirked, "By we I clearly didn't mean you."

"You have multiple personalities?"

Saïx kept rubbing his thigh, "I guess you could call it that."

Xigbar nodded, "It's all coming together now. Do you two sleep together? I mean, considering Xemnas isn't a part of the 'group' he might not be completely up to date on what you've been doing when he's not paying attention."

Saïx got closer to Xemnas's face, his smile still on, "I don't know…I guess that'll be a mystery."

Xemnas's eyebrow arched, "Hmm…maybe you should sleep in your own room tonight?"

"Only if you join me."

Xemnas sighed and looked at Xigbar, "I'm sure you came in here on a different matter, what did you need?"

Xigbar opened his mouth and frowned, "Well…crap I forgot."

Saïx started to pull up Xemnas's shirt, "That sucks."

Xemnas slapped his hand, "Indeed."

Xigbar moved his hands around in the air, "Well…I'm sure it'll come back to me sooner or later!"

Saïx rammed his hips into Xemnas's and watched the Superior's eyes flash dangerously, "Saïx, stop it."

Saïx frowned and pulled away. _Awww, I was rejected. Though, look at how angry he seems to have gotten. I think he really doesn't want anyone else to know what we're doing. Ugh, which is annoying. Why is it such a big deal, anyway?_

Xigbar watched the incident and shrugged, "I'll probably remember tomorrow morning. You two have a good night, eh?"

As Xigbar left Xemnas glared at Saïx before going back to his book. Saïx frowned, "What?"

"Now I'm mad at you."

"That's dumb! I didn't do anything!"

"You acted provocatively in front of Xigbar. I believe that's a good enough excuse to shun you. I suppose I'll give your gift to someone else who deserves it."

Saïx glared back at him, "Fine, be that way!"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "Oh, now you're getting upset?"

"I think I deserve to be upset."

"For what reason?"

Saïx looked away and shook his head, "If you don't already know why would it matter?"

Xemnas sighed and put his book down, "Just tell me, Saïx."

Saïx kept his eyes on the ground before sighing, "It's like you're ashamed to be around me."

"I'm not ashamed…I have to uphold this Organization, Saïx, I can't show them that I think I can feel affection."

"You are, too. You just cover it up because you have a reputation."

"What did I say that made you think that?"

"'Saïx is just being Saïx'. What's that even supposed to mean? You make it sound like I'm really low or something."

"You always act hormonal, I thought Xigbar wouldn't think anything of it if that's all it was."

"See? And you won't even claim me. If you can't feel embarrassed, why do you cover me up so much?"

"Don't act so irrational, I do it because I need to be a leader, not a lover. If you don't like the way you're being treated than find someone else to be around."

Saïx stared at him completely mortified, "You don't even like me?"

Xemnas hesitated. Oh boy…maybe he went too far? Saïx was going to break down if he kept this up. "It's not that, Saïx. I do like you…I just have a hard time relating to you. I'm not as carefree as you are."

Saïx frowned, "Is that it?"

Was there really more to this than he had believed? He didn't think that this was THAT big of a deal. "What else is there to question? I've been taught to be calm, quiet, and to listen. You speak your mind and do as you please. My leadership came to me through people like Lexaeus and Xaldin. I can't necessarily help how I react around the others, as you can't help some of your own attributes. Perhaps, as time moves on, we both can accommodate such differences and come to a more neutral level?"

_He makes this sound like politics, which hurts my head more than anything else. Sometimes I wonder if he uses big words to dumbfound me or to just make me shut the hell up. Whatever it is…it's working._ "Fine. But try to be less…conservative."

"Well…if you hadn't collided your hips into mine I wouldn't have said a thing."

Saïx bit his lip and tried to think of a way to back up his actions, though nothing came to mind. "All right, so that was a bit out of line…but I can't help it. Your suave way with handling things gets to me every time." Saïx got closer again and this time Xemnas accepted his advances.

Their lips locked and their hips came together, pressing hard into each other with a desire to fulfill their cravings. Saïx's hands explored his body, pulling on Xemnas's clothes. He hungered for sex, each breath he took only pressured him to try harder to unclothe him. But suddenly Xemnas stopped and pushed him away, breaking their embrace completely, "Stop, Zexion's coming." He rose from the bed and walked away from Saïx, grabbing up his cloak.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't answer as Zexion entered, noticing that nothing was going on. He was thankful, "Xemnas…we've sensed an energy level….we think it's another member."

Xemnas nodded, "I sensed it, too. Let's go investigate. Saïx, stay here."

He watched them leave. _Maybe…when he comes back we can continue where we left off? Maybe? I…don't even know anymore. It feels like he's straining himself at times to be with me…maybe I'm not what he really wants? He wouldn't purposefully do this as some type of an advantage…would he?_ Saïx curled up in bed and glanced over at the book. It didn't look familiar or interesting.

_I wonder if he knows that…he could break my heart…even if I don't have one._

7777777

Xemnas stared at the person before them. No one familiar, just another man falling into their hands. But…oddly…he felt like there was still energy floating about. He ordered Zexion to take Luxord—their 10th member—to his living quarters. As he stood outside Xaldin approached him from behind.

"Superior."

"Our newest member is residing in his room."

"Another boy?"

"He's older than Saïx I think. At least by the looks of his facial features, it's rather hard to tell."

"Anything interesting about him?"

"Well…not yet. I suppose we'll find out. He didn't say anything, but that's normal once you dive out from the darkness."

"Of course, Superior."

Xemnas turned to look at Xaldin, the man was off to the side staring up at Kingdom Hearts. It was a beautiful sight, indeed. "There's…more. I feel a lingering power around here….and I don't believe it's from Luxord's arrival."

"You mean to say that another member is going to appear shortly?"

"I believe so. I'm going to wait for awhile…."

As time slowly passed between them, Xaldin finally spoke up to break the silence. "Superior, are you in a relationship with Saïx?"

"Does everyone believe I am?"

"Seems so."

Xemnas sighed, "I'm not."

"We only feel there's a connection because of the way he talks about you…and the undeniable fact that he's always in your room."

Xemnas nodded, "I see. He told me his room gives him nightmares."

"Then give him a nightlight if he's scared of the dark."

"He has the moonlight to help with that."

"Why do you let him do as he pleases?"

He looked over at the deserted town and how sad it looked. At least…it wasn't going to rain tonight, right? His attention returned to Xaldin to answer his questions. Seems everyone doubted him. "Saïx has abilities that could outshine Xigbar's. He doesn't know how to apply them, though. I'm giving up a lot of my own freedoms to satisfy him, only because I know that the more he trusts me the more I can order him around. If I can get him to harness his power…"

"Have you slept with him?"

Xemnas faced Xaldin, "Excuse me?"

"Have you slept with him."

"Why would you ask such a thing? You know as well as I do that sex is a pleasurable thing, which is an emotion that none of us can feel."

"Just answer the question."

"No….I haven't."

Xaldin nodded, "I thought so. Maybe you should?"

"What?"

"If it wins his trust, why would it matter if it's emotional or not? You stated we needed his power, and you're willing to give up your freedoms for it. All he ever talks about is sex, perhaps you should give him what he really wants?"

Xemnas frowned and watched as the area darkened around them. They both turned and saw a part of the air start to swirl, and soon a black portal ripped open. Together they moved closer toward it, though Xemnas's mind was boggling over Xaldin's advice. If…he was sleeping with Saïx, that meant he was in complete control now, right?

The figure that started to exit the portal was covered in an odd substance, as if he came from wet earth. His eyes were blank, but had a vibrant blue color to them.

"Hmm…" Xemnas waved his hand for the portal to disappear, and soon began to think of the man's name.

"Xemnas!" Zexion called out and arrived at their destination, "Another one?"

"Yes….his name is Marluxia."

"Why is he covered in…mud?" Zexion questioned, reaching out and touching Marluxia gently to make sure he was correct.

"I'm not sure."

Xaldin grabbed up Marluxia's hands, "They're bound together…" he pulled a lance out and cut away the substance. It was sticky, though, and pulled at the boy's flesh. After removing it with difficulty he surveyed the odd binding material, "It's duct tape."

Zexion took it from him and shook his head, "No, it's Gorilla tape…that's stronger than duct tape."

"Explains the difficulty in removing it," Xaldin mumbled before looking to Xemnas, "We should hose him down and get the rest of this removed. It's all over him."

Xemnas nodded, "Absolutely. Zexion, if you'll do the duties…"

Zexion pointed at himself, "Me?"

"Yes…considering you can copy Demyx's powers…"

"Oh. I keep forgetting about that…" Zexion pulled out his book and mumbled a few words before all of them got completely soaked in water. "M-My God th-th-that's freeeezing!"

Xemnas pushed his hair out of his face, "And you completely missed him. Wonderful job, Zexion."

Zexion looked down, "Sorry…I haven't gotten the hang of everyone's powers yet…it just…takes awhile. I haven't had time to train—"

"Indeed. Enough chatter, Zexion, and this time hit him."

Xaldin grumbled, "And if you don't I'll show you what real power feels like."

Zexion wiped off the wet page and tried again, this time successfully soaking their new member.

"And now dry all of us."

Xaldin looked at Zexion and watched as the boy flipped to a different page. Without warning a giant blast of heat hit them. Xaldin smirked, "I find my way easier."

Zexion glared, "I could have done it…"

"You should memorize your spells instead of relying on that book."

Xemnas smiled, "Enough. Let's get this tape off, shall we?"

Marluxia continued to stand there lifelessly as the three pulled away his binds and ripped parts of his flesh. The worst was around the poor man's neck, which seemed to, at one point, hold a sack tightly around his head. The only remains of that sack, though, were small frays here and there that lay against Marluxia's hair and shoulders. The tedious task took forever to do, and at long last Marluxia was free of his binds, though he was still covered in dirt and now red marks.

Xemnas stared at him curiously while the other two waited for directions. This boy looked somewhat familiar. He wasn't sure what it was about him that made him seem familiar….but there was definitely something that made him different than the others. Who was this again? How did he know him?

"Superior, what should we do now?"

"Let's….take him to his room….get him washed up and let him sleep. Tomorrow will be an eventful day."

Zexion blinked, "You want me to give him a bath?"

Xemnas at first didn't catch the issue, but as he turned to stare at Zexion he could see the boy was obviously scared to do the duty. "He doesn't have a mind, he won't know what you're doing."

Zexion's face turned red, "Yeah well I know what I'm doing which is what makes it wrong!"

Xaldin sighed, "Follow your orders, Zexion. The better the job you do this time means you won't have to do a single thing next time."

Zexion grumbled, "I can't believe this.." he pulled on the figure to follow him, and slowly they disappeared within the castle.

"I would have offered to help," Xemnas mentioned.

"That would ruin the fun, Superior."

"Indeed."

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Zexion scrubbed at Marluxia as quickly as he could. If he finished soon he could pretend this never had to happen. Ugh. Why did Xemnas make him clean some other guy? This was humiliating. What did he do? Maybe Saïx said something about him? Ugh. That loser. He would rat him out about something really dumb. It kind of peeved him that Xemnas favored Saïx so much. The guy hardly did anything! Not only that, but he'd just do whatever Saïx told him. Ugh.

Zexion worked his fingers through Marluxia's hair and poured water on his head, watching the dirt flow off of him…

He almost dropped the soap as the color started to shine through. Oh god. Oh god. This couldn't be happening, could it? Xemnas's rash decisions were now starting to bite him in the ass. Oh freaking crap.

"Calm down, Zexion, just get your job done…" he whispered to himself and continued to wash away at Marluxia's flesh. It wasn't long until he was finished, and he dried and dressed the lifeless man. As he made him sit on the bed he moved for the door to go tell Xemnas. "Just sit there for now, I'll be back." He then left the room to find where Xemnas was hiding.

He didn't have to look far, since Xemnas was right around Luxord's door talking to Xigbar. They both turned to him curiously as they noticed his disheveled look. "Something wrong, Zexion?" Xemnas asked.

"I…think you need to…come with me…"

"For what reason?"

"You'll find out, trust me. It's important."

Xemnas glanced at Xigbar and nodded to him as a finishing note before following Zexion into Marluxia's room. "And what is so important here?"

Zexion turned the light on and they both were met with Marluxia's features. His hair was pinker than before, and his look was older with brighter eyes, but it was clearly Flower.

"Oh…my…" Xemnas mumbled. No wonder he looked so familiar. The duct tape, the plastic, the mud….HE had done that! He had fought him with ease, tying the innocent boy up before burying him alive. Whether he died by suffocating from the bag on his head or the crushing mud…he wasn't sure…but this…. "He's…stronger than what I had imagined."

"What are we going to do?"

"What…do you mean?"

Zexion shook his head, "If Saïx finds out Marluxia is here he'll get really suspicious. And…who knows what he'll do? He'll be pissed and happy and just…everything all at once! He'll know you did something!"

"How? It isn't like I put my signature on his dead body."

"I-I don't know…he'll just KNOW. I wouldn't doubt him to find out who it was that killed the guy!"

"And how would he know that he was murdered?"

Zexion opened his mouth and closed it. He took a deep breath and sighed, "You're right. I'm just…overreacting. He might see the connection but he wouldn't know how he arrived here, and we wouldn't know because…we don't know anything about other people's pasts unless they tell us. Saïx will push it off and just be glad his boyfriend is here, and everything can fall into a nice and orderly place."

Xemnas frowned, "What do you mean…he'll be happy his boyfriend is here?"

"Well..now he doesn't have to leave to be with him, he's right here."

Xemnas glared, "I won't have that happening around here in my domain."

Zexion at first didn't understand but shook his head, "You're not…attached to Saïx, are you?"

"It's nothing like that! I don't want these two getting involved with each other. Their past is over, and that's that. They must focus on the Organization's mission to gain our hearts back."

The shorter figure crossed his arms over his chest, "You're…lying. You think that you like him…oh god. This is ridiculous."

Xemnas grabbed Zexion by his cloak front, "I am not, don't question me! Keep Marluxia away from Saïx, all right? Do as you're told."

Zexion looked away, "As you wish, Superior."

Xemnas let him go, "Don't ever assume that I'm doing these things based on feelings that aren't real. Saïx is a fighter and will forget his past soon enough, dropping his fantasies about this boy or any other person he thinks about. And Marluxia will be a fighter, too, and won't fall into Saïx's grasps. Understand? If either of us don't stop them we'll have more controversy than we could ever imagine."

Zexion nodded, "Yes, Superior."

"Stay in here tonight, and that's an order." Xemnas walked out of the room and headed for his own. Ugh, how could Zexion even THINK that way? Did every member of the Organization believe he was sleeping with Saïx? He…needed to break away from this. It was ruining his reputation…and who knows what they'd do if this continued.

He opened his door and saw that Saïx was asleep. A sigh escaped him as he sat down in his chair to document the new members.

The next day came quickly, Xemnas not sleeping a wink as he was too busy gathering up information and documents for the others, readying for the introduction speech. He stood up and glanced over at Saïx as the man was still sleeping. Maybe…he should let him sleep all day? That would keep him away from Marluxia…

He moved from the room quietly and checked up on Zexion who was sitting in a chair, curled up asleep. Marluxia was sleeping in his bed quietly. He moved over toward Zexion, but the boy jumped awake as he could smell Xemnas's scent coming near.

"Superior."

"Zexion, get Marluxia ready for the meeting. I'll get the others ready."

"Yes, Superior."

He exited the area and soon everyone else had made it to the meeting room. The only empty seat was Saïx's. Xigbar glanced at Xemnas for an explanation, but Xemnas just shook his head to not bother about it.

"Luxord. Marluxia." He said, his voice low and booming with power. The two turned their heads in his direction, "Welcome to the Organization." He did the regular speech, everyone introducing themselves aside from Saïx since he was absent. Near the end he smiled slightly, "And questions?"

Luxord looked at the pink-haired figure beside him before shrugging, "I'm a bit lost. I don't remember how I arrived here."

"You died." Lexaeus replied first, getting his only words in for the day.

Luxord raised an eyebrow, "Died?"

Xigbar nodded, "Totally did, man. Don't worry, being dead has its ups and downs. Like Xemnas said, we have powers because of it."

"Do we?" Luxord questioned and looked at Marluxia again as if he was the only other person that had experienced this weird situation.

"Yeah, yours'll sprout sooner or later," Xigbar replied before nudging Xemnas, "Dude. He's got a funny accent, didya notice that?"

Xemnas nodded, "I did, and you shouldn't be talking."

Xigbar snorted, "Whatever, man." He then pointed at them, "You guys can always train and stuff to figure it out. Like our buddy Saïx, he had to be mercilessly beaten to a pulp and then some before we really figured out what his powers were!"

Marluxia finally spoke, his voice low and seductive, "And where is Saïx?"

Zexion almost had a heart attack once he heard his voice. It was different than he remembered, but this made Marluxia almost seem alluring to HIM. That was just weird. Axel, who was hardly paying attention, perked up at the new voice. He thought the British dude was interesting, but wow. He wasn't expecting someone with pink hair to sound like that. "He's probably still sleeping."

"During a meeting?"

Xemnas nodded, "It's best to let him not come to the meetings, he isn't a very friendly person. Saïx, number VII of the Organization, has a terrible temperament. His rage fuels his power, which is to go Berserk."

Marluxia glanced over at the empty chair before letting his eyes rest on Zexion, "You said your power is to copy others, does that mean you can do this…Berserk, too?"

Zexion opened his mouth and struggled to say something, "U-uhh…well…I've never tried, but I'm assuming I can…."

Luxord smirked, "Cool! I can't wait to figure out what we're capable of," he jabbed his elbow into Marluxia. He searched his pockets and pulled out a deck of cards, playing with them without hesitation, "So, who here likes magic tricks?"

Demyx raised his hand, "Oh, I love magic!"

"All right, kid, pick a card, any card!"

Demyx grabbed one, "I pick this one!!"

Luxord smiled and grabbed it, shoving it back in the deck. "Now remember your card, kid." He stood up and shuffled the deck, "Ready for this?" He threw the cards across the table. All of them landed face down except Demyx's card. It soon blew up in size and stood straight up in the air causing everyone to gap. "Is that your card?"

Demyx nodded, "Yeah! How'd you make it so big?"

Luxord shrugged, "I don't know…that's never happened before."

Xigbar snorted, "Oh please, don't tell me he already has powers. Seems like we've got another Demyx on our hands."

Demyx frowned, "Huh?"

Xaldin pointed at Luxord, "Try picking them up…without using your hands."

Luxord blinked, "What do you want me to do, rub my face on the table?"

"No. Try to put them back in your hand. Just do it."

Luxord shrugged and held out his hand. He concentrated a bit and the cards moved and soon came into his hand, Demyx's card landing on top. "Well that was a nifty show."

Demyx clapped, "That was cool!"

Axel frowned, "Sooo…he does magic tricks for his powers?"

"On the contrary, Axel, it's more of an illusion. I believe there must be more to Luxord's powers than this," Vexen guessed, "And I'm sure it will come around soon. Marluxia, what about you? Have any mysterious shows or gallant renditions you'd like to show us?"

Marluxia shook his head, "Hardly."

"Check your pockets, maybe you've got something there?" Axel hinted. Marluxia checked his pockets and slowly pulled out a flower. He looked unenthused.

"Hmm, a flower from someone. Was it you?" Marluxia questioned Axel since he had known there was something in his pocket.

"Nope. I just guessed you might have something if Luxord had cards in his pocket."

Demyx giggled, "Can you tango? Is that your power?"

Marluxia dropped the flower on the table, "I don't know if I can dance, I don't remember."

"Maybe you should try?" Xaldin said more to amuse himself.

"I think not." Marluxia replied back when they all heard a really interesting growl from across the room. Everyone turned to the door, watching as it opened up with their blue-haired member standing there.

He walked toward them slowly, looking like the morning had beaten him senseless until he agreed to get up. _Guh, I feel like I'm dead. Why am I even awake? Why is everyone sitting here? Where's my breakfast?_ "Where's the food?"

Xemnas sighed and nodded, "This is Saïx…the person we were just talking about. Saïx, meet our new members Luxord and Marluxia."

Saïx stopped near his seat but didn't sit down. His eyes went toward the two new figures, "Oh. Should I put clothes on? I didn't know this was a meeting."

Several of the members laughed at Saïx's odd behavior. He was so different and just…dumb sometimes compared to the others.

"No, you're fine. Have a seat, we'll eat soon enough."

Saïx looked at his seat and frowned, "Yeaaaah….well…I don't mind standing. And besides, I haven't gotten acquainted with these two over here. Yeah. What were your names again?" Saïx asked as he moved away from his seat, avoiding that 7 as much as possible.

"Luxord," the blonde said, his accent nice and sharp.

"Marluxia," the pink-haired one mumbled, low voice soothing Saïx's fear. _He looks familiar._

"How lovely to meet you. You'll enjoy it here, I can tell. Luxord, you'll clearly fit in with Xaldin and Xigbar because you have an accent, and Marluxia…you have obnoxiously colored hair. So you can join Axel and me in that department. And always hold your respects to Xemnas, because he's the only one with a tan."

Xemnas sighed, this could only get worse, right? "Well, why don't we eat…"

"Sounds good," Xaldin replied quickly.

Luxord smirked, "Pleasure to meet you, Saïx."

Marluxia didn't reply, only watched as they were given plates with food on it. He didn't even bother to look at Saïx as the man sat in the seat on the edge.

"Nice flower," Saïx remarked as he saw it sitting on the table.

Marluxia looked at it, "It could be better."

"What are you, a florist?" Luxord asked.

"No. I was just saying it could be better."

"What's wrong with it?" Vexen questioned. He had his notepad out ready to take notes on anything new or intriguing that happened with the new members.

"I don't know…" Marluxia replied, "it just seems too simple."

Saïx picked it up with care, "What were you hoping for, Xemnas to leave you a dozen of these things in your room?"

Marluxia looked over at Xemnas, "It was you?"

Xemnas shook his head, "I didn't do it."

Saïx rolled his eyes, "Oh please. You put people in their clothes when they're asleep, I'm sure you leave things in their pockets just to creep them out."

"Actually, Zexion clothed Marluxia this time. Maybe he put it there?"

Zexion's color drained from his face, "N-no, I did no such thing."

Marluxia frowned, "You dressed me?"

"You were lifeless when you got here, and Xemnas ordered me to do it!" Zexion backed himself up.

"That's odd, I don't remember coming here," Marluxia didn't make a big deal of it. He went back to eating as if the conversation was nothing too serious.

Luxord put his cup down slowly, "Nothing at all? You've got funny marks on your neck, boy, you sure you weren't bound and gagged? I've heard how they do that back in my place. 'Tis a crying shame people stoop that low to make love to somebody."

Marluxia touched his neck and felt how sore it was, but he never noticed the pain until now, "I don't know what happened."

Zexion looked over at Xemnas wondering if they should explain anything or not. The Superior caught the look and spoke up, "Marluxia, we found you covered in mud and duct tape. That is why you are covered in red marks."

Marluxia rubbed at his neck still, "So…if I'm dead, I guess I was murdered."

Saïx perked at this, "Why would anyone want to murder you?"

Marluxia looked at him finally, his blue eyes striking right into Saïx's yellow ones, "I don't know. They must have a reason, I'm sure. But why's it matter? I'm here now."

Saïx stopped moving as they continued to stare at each other. _Could it…be…Flower? It…looks like him. A lot like him. But…_

Marluxia looked away and flipped his hair to cover the marks. Petals suddenly cascaded all over the table. Vexen was watching and started to write this down, completely confounded by this action.

"You just…shat petals everywhere," Axel remarked with half his mouth full.

Marluxia picked up a petal, "But…"

Xemnas frowned. Since…when did this start to happen? Demyx picked a petal up since it had floated near him and he smiled, "Aww, it's so soft!"

Marluxia tried to push the petals onto the floor, but more created themselves from his sleeve. "I think something is wrong here…" Marluxia mumbled. He rolled up the cloak sleeve and noticed there weren't any hidden flowers or anything. He flicked his hand and a few petals appeared, cascading once again onto the table. "I'm creating petals."

Saïx watched this. Wow. It was entertaining and shocking all at once. _This…has to be Flower. He loved working with flowers…and what's more, he smells exactly the same. And…that look._ "That…must be your power."

Marluxia glanced at him, "Petals?"

"Perhaps plants," Vexen commented, "it's more likely that way. Congratulations on figuring out your powers so quickly. Seems Saïx is the only one who we could hardly understand."

Saïx glared at him, but Marluxia spoke up, "How do I stop it from happening?"

"Stop what?" Xaldin questioned.

"The petals," Marluxia replied, waving his hand as more came out.

"Move very carefully?" Xigbar suggested, but only received glares from everyone. "Eh. I don't know. Maybe it won't stop?"

Xemnas stood up, "Well, perhaps you're just stressed. The first day here is always the worst. If you're done eating you can return to your room, if you like. If not, you and Luxord can go on a tour of the castle."

Marluxia pushed his plate away, "I'll take the tour."

Luxord finished his drink and nodded, "Sounds dandy." They both got up and watched as Marluxia continue to produce petals all over the place.

"Zexion, take them through the tour, won't you?" Xemnas ordered. Zexion sighed and got up, leading them out. Marluxia glanced back as trails of petals were left behind. This…was so weird.

"Well…at least the castle will smell wonderful," Xigbar commented at the mess.

"I'm sure it'll go away," Xemnas replied before pointing at Saïx, "Clean this up."

Saïx glared, "Why me?"

"Because I ordered you to do it. Besides, you probably stressed him out in the first place to cause this to happen."

"Right. Of course." Saïx grumbled and went to get the broom. His eyes followed the trail curiously. _I…wonder…if he'll remember me soon? Oh Flower…please don't forget what we once were…not right now._

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Dun Dun Dun! Marluxia aka Flower has arrived in the Organization, what is Saïx going to do? Keep up his lovely lust with Xemnas, or perhaps switch over? And what will Xemnas do about Marluxia?

Guess you'll have to wait and see! 'Til next time!


	6. Chapter 6

Dun dun dun! Another chapter for my fans! Nice and long, too! Hope you enjoy!

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Marluxia walked behind Zexion without moving his eyes from the man's back, ignoring Luxord's words and the entire tour. He didn't care about the castle or what else was going on, why it was built, or why they were even there. None of that mattered to him. What interested him were the people and why they wanted to gain their hearts back. If they had these powers without hearts, who needed emotions?

"You'll find our handbook in the library on the main table. If you're curious or confused about anything go ahead and take a look at it. Every page should have footnotes to help interpret everything easier." Zexion continued to talk and turned down a hallway, "And now we're at the living corridors. Luxord, you're number X. Marluxia, XI. Your numbers are on your doors, as are everyone else's numbers….well…aside from Saïx."

"And why doesn't he have a number?" Luxord questioned. He saw the door that lacked VII and winced as he got a better look. Seemed like the number WAS there at some point.

"Saïx has a severe superstitious background and believes that 7 is his unlucky number. If he encounters it he seems clumsy and gets hurt."

"Isn't seven supposed to be a lucky number?" Luxord questioned.

"There is no such thing as luck or bad luck," Marluxia replied for Zexion. "Saïx must have had something bad happen to him when seven was around, whether it be the number itself or a materialistic object that had seven entities."

Zexion nodded, "Well…he did in a way. He's confused about his past, actually. That doesn't mean you won't remember your pasts, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee you'll figure them out, either."

"Eh, not like I care that much. I remember I like to gamble and play cards. That's all I need to know!" Luxord remarked chipper.

"How wonderful for you," Marluxia mumbled as he glanced behind him. The petals had followed him there, leaving a trail to where he had gone. He'd be easy to find if anyone wanted to get a hold of him. How pathetic, though. It made the game of hiding and isolating himself from everyone harder. Oh well, he liked a challenge. "Is this the end of the tour?"

"Yes. You can do as you please for now."

Marluxia walked past them and arrived in his room, the petals cascading about as he walked. His eyes fell upon the bedding and everything else. It…didn't feel satisfactory to him. This place, it was plain with its darkness. He wanted some spice to it, to make the darkness seem a lot more than just an empty void of space.

He flicked his hair and watched the vibrant colored petals litter the floor. That's what it needed. Some plants, perhaps.

His hand lifted up and with ease plants started to wrap themselves about and sprout from the floor and walls, covering the area in greenery. As each flower sprouted it gave a wonderful new scent to the room, and gave it color.

Marluxia went to the window and opened it up, leaning out slightly to get a better view of the grounds.

Not too far off Xemnas watched the pink-haired figure from his window. He tensed and relaxed. Saïx was busy cleaning, he would be unable to visit Marluxia right now…

But…that couldn't stop himself from going, right? He was curious to see what Marluxia remembered…

He moved from his room to the hallway, making his way to Marluxia's door. He knocked on it and opened the door, noticing the floral arrangement, "I see you've got a grasp on your powers already."

"I wanted something nice to look at…though, flowers can only do so much." Marluxia replied, low voice alluring and seducing. He turned to face Xemnas, "You came here for a reason?"

"I wondered how you were doing," Xemnas replied, letting the door close behind him, "You seem less talkative than Luxord."

"To each his own." Marluxia moved toward Xemnas and stopped before him, "How well do you know Saïx?"

Xemnas shook his head, "Why do you want to know?"

"Curious."

"Better than most I suppose, though Saïx will always remain a mystery to the Organization. He's hard to understand a lot of the time."

"How so?"

"He's temperamental when he shouldn't be. We can't feel emotions, yet he expresses them to the point he actually thinks he's feeling them."

"If rage fuels his powers, how is that a bad thing? You need strong members, right? Than let him be furious."

Xemnas opened his mouth and closed it. He would never promote such things. It just…seemed irrational to act that way. "Letting Saïx play pretend will only hurt him in the long run."

"If you think it's right, and it feels right, why bother pushing it away?"

What a thing to say! It was like talking to Saïx…except a smarter version of the man. "Are you insinuating something? Do you feel like you should be experiencing something now?"

Marluxia undid his cloak, "Is that what I'm saying?"

"What are you doing?"

"Undressing."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Xemnas watched as Marluxia pulled his boots off, losing his shirt, and soon his pants. "I don't understand…"

"What's there to understand?"

Xemnas moved to leave, but noticed the door was covered in vines. "You want to keep me in here? Your plants won't bind me."

Marluxia got on his bed, "I never said you weren't allowed to leave." He closed his eyes as if taking it all in before smiling, "But…why refuse such sweet temptation?"

Xemnas stared at Marluxia's body with the petals around him. Was he suggesting that he…have sex with him? It did seem that way…but why? "Sometimes temptation can kill you."

Marluxia nodded, "That's the best kind."

"Why are you even suggesting such things?"

Marluxia glanced at Xemnas, "I haven't suggested a thing…you find me suggestive, is all. My actions seem provocative to you. All I did was undress…you're the one thinking about sex."

Xemnas gapped and closed his mouth quickly, "Enough. I'm leaving."

"Try to enjoy yourself for once."

Xemnas glanced back before letting the vines move. He exited Marluxia's room and saw Zexion lounging in his room reading. "Zexion, go keep Marluxia company. He says he's bored."

Zexion sighed and stood up, moving to figure out what was wrong with him now. When he entered he didn't see that Marluxia was even undressed. "Did you need—" he saw his body and he covered his eyes, "Oh, I'm sorry!"

Marluxia chuckled, grabbing Zexion and throwing him onto the bed. He got on top and messed with his hair, dragging his tongue against the boy's neck, "Tell me about Saïx and Xemnas's relationship. I'm curious." His hand dove toward Zexion's pants, toying around with him.

Zexion gasped and tried to think straight. Who were Xemnas and Saïx again? "They…uh…they sleep together. They're not…um…very open about…their relationship..but…mmm….they've got something going on."

Marluxia thought it over. As he suspected. They all treated Saïx different…but he didn't know why until now. It's because Saïx was Xemnas's little bitch.

"Good boy," Marluxia mumbled to Zexion before getting up, "Now fetch me Saïx. If you do as your told…I'll reward you," Marluxia ran his fingers through Zexion's hair, giving him a kiss on the lips.

"O-Okay…." Zexion whispered and walked off to do his job. He found Saïx still sweeping up the petals. "Saïx…uh…Marluxia wants to talk to you…he's in his room."

Saïx noticed how disheveled and roughed up Zexion looked. _Did this guy just get laid or what?_ "Okay. Here." Saïx handed the broom to Zexion and went to figure out what was going on.

After awhile Zexion's senses came back to himself. Wow…that was weird. The flowers must have really over-killed his processing…he wasn't sure why he so easily agreed to….

To…

Oh shit.

Saïx and Marluxia might do something if they get together! Crap! Then Xemnas would send some serious whiplash on him! Zexion threw the broom down to go separate the two.

_Sooo, Marluxia wants to talk to me? Does that mean he remembers now? I…hope so. It seems pretty logical that he'd figure these things out faster than I had. I mean, he was the smartest of our group. Not that it was THAT hard to outdo everyone. We all were pretty stupid, if I remember correctly. But…I don't remember correctly, do I? My head is still fucked up with our stupid lies. Ugh._

Saïx opened the door and walked in, "Marluxia?"

He came forward, hesitating near the bed. "I'm…here? You sent for me?"

Marluxia came out from the bathroom and grabbed onto him, whipping the man around and shoving him onto the bed. He got on top, but this time didn't play seducer. "My little Lamb."

Saïx smiled, "You remember?"

"I do…but I'm curious to know…why you don't remember me."

"I do remember you, Flower…"

Marluxia shook his head, "No…you forgot me…" he stood up and covered himself with a bathrobe, "you wouldn't be with another man if you remembered me."

Saïx stood up, "Marluxia…" he hesitated, "I…" Saïx was stumped. He didn't have a way to back that up. "Xemnas…refused that I ever see you again.."

"And you followed the rules?"

"What…was I supposed to do? If I didn't obey him he'd harm you!"

Marluxia laughed, "Oh…you know so little…" His hands grabbed Saïx's face, gently caressing his jawline and playing with his hair, "If I was murdered…and he threatened to murder me…how do you think the story really ended?"

_No. Xemnas wouldn't kill Flower…not when he knew how much I cared for him. That's impossible. That would be…betraying me._ "I…I don't think he did it."

"Is that what you think?" Marluxia moved away, "I never knew he was good at brainwashing…but you're a given that he's got complete control over you. Tell me…how many times have you had sex?"

Saïx shook his head, "Once. It was nothing, though…"

Marluxia flicked his hand. Vines wrapped around Saïx tightly, grasping around his throat and rendering him powerless, "You think you love him."

"No, Marluxia—"

"Saïx. You can't have me…but you can't have him, either."

"What are you talking about?"

Marluxia smirked, "Remember your cute little journal?" He strode forward, getting his face so close to Saïx's they were only an inch apart. "I lied. Everything was real."

Saïx kept staring into those blue eyes before he felt his rage start to rise, "Why did you lie to me?"

"Because I didn't want to die by your hands. And besides…I wanted to fuck. You did, too. Why push silly matters in the way of having some fun?" He let a finger trace Saïx's 'X'-shaped scar.

"What's…wrong with you? You're not the same person I remember…"

Marluxia chuckled, his low voice making it seem so cynical, "You make it seem like you didn't change. Do you even remember who you used to be? A cute, shy boy who wanted someone to be around. God, weren't you just the most pathetic thing around. And you came to me to ruin that innocence. It's what I do best."

"Then…why change what we had?"

"Oh Saïx….why dwell on what we had? It wasn't that great."

Saïx glared, "What?"

"I want to play a little game…but you're going to have to guess what it is." Marluxia let the vines go and he moved for the bathroom, "You can go now, I'm finished with you."

Saïx watched as the door closed. Slowly he rose and moved out of the room completely confused. Why…was he so different?

_Flower doesn't even exist in Marluxia anymore. It's as if a different personality took his body…and Flower's mind is lost to the darkness. Did…that happen to me, too? And of the others?_

Saïx made his way down the hallway when Zexion ran into him. "Watch where you're going," he snarled.

"Saïx! Uh…did…you go see Marluxia?"

"No. Why bother with someone like him?"

Zexion watched the angry member keep walking leaving him completely stumped. If he didn't go see Marluxia…why was he so angry? Ugh. He quit. He'd just stay in his room and hope Marluxia never resurfaced.

Saïx burst into Xemnas's room and found the man staring out at the window. "Xemnas…"

Xemnas didn't move from his spot, "What is it, Saïx?"

"Are you…busy?"

Xemnas shook his head, "No. What do you need?"

"I wanted to talk to you…" Saïx moved over and took a seat in Xemnas's comfortable chair, "It's about Marluxia."

"What of him?"

"Well…he's…"

"Your boyfriend."

Saïx shook his head, "No."

Xemnas moved his head to get a better look at Saïx, "No? How surprising. You slept with him but you don't claim he's yours."

Saïx glared, "Weird, you slept with me but you don't claim me. That wasn't even what I wanted to talk about."

"Then start talking."

Saïx sighed, "Flower isn't Marluxia. It's his body but whatever is going on with his mind isn't him…isn't the same person I remember." He hesitated, "It's as if someone else has his memories and are interpreting them as they see fit."

"So, you talked to him."

"Well…yeah Zexion told me Marluxia wanted to talk…and when I went in there he was…just…different."

"Zexion…"

"Yeah. Have you talked to Marluxia?"

"Only for a minute."

Xemnas moved and leaned against the desk, the two able to look at each other better. "He undressed himself in front of me and suggested to have sex, though he denied he was even suggesting it."

Saïx sighed, "Great."

"Perhaps it's best that you forget about him? It's evident that he's not who he used to be. Why bother with the past when the person isn't even the same?"

Saïx nodded, "I…wasn't going to go back to him anyway. I believe that…what we have is..better."

Xemnas smirked, "Is that what you think?"

Saïx nodded, "Yeah."

Xemnas pulled Saïx from the seat and led him to the bathroom, "I think what we both need is to relax."

Saïx raised an eyebrow. Relax in the bathroom? Wha? But then he saw the hot tub. Oh yeah, totally forgot that Xemnas had one of those. "You want to have sex in your hot tub?"

Xemnas smirked, "Why not? It'll be a wonderful experience."

Saïx shrugged, "I wasn't saying no." He stripped along with Xemnas and they both got in the steaming water. "Hmm…last time we did this I tried to drown you."

"Yes, but that was in my bathtub."

"Yeah. Good times."

Xemnas pulled Saïx closer, the two of them enveloped into a kiss as Saïx wrapped his legs around Xemnas's hips.

Xigbar, who was in his room, had been walking out when he smelt the soft roses hit him. His eyes went down the hallway and could faintly hear a shower going on. So, Marluxia was showering? And where was Saïx? He looked around and saw that Xemnas's door was closed. Oh boy, again?

He headed in that direction and noticed Zexion was snoozing with a book covering most of him. What a dork.

Before he could reach Xemnas's door Demyx jumped in front of him and gave him a hug, "Hey, Xigbar! How's your morning going?"

"Eh..busy."

"Cool, cool. Want to play?"

"Not right now, kid, uhh…go bother Zexion. He loves playing games."

"Okay, cool!" Demyx walked off happily and found Zexion asleep. He went over and sat on him, "Zexion!!"

Zexion woke with a start, "I'm awake, Superior!!" He hesitated and saw it was Demyx, "Uh. Oh. Hello…Demyx…"

"Hi! Xigbar says you like playing games! Want to play with me?"

Zexion almost died. WHY did everyone make him do STUPID things? Oh go be mind fucked by Marluxia, Zexion, go bathe the man, Zexion, go play with Demyx, Zexion. GUH. His brain was going to murder itself if he had to put up with this for long! "What do you want to play?"

"I dunno. We could ask Luxord if he wants to play strip poker."

Zexion almost cried but held it in, "W-Why do you…want to do such things?"

"Why not? It'll be great! Come on!" Demyx got up and shoved the book on the floor, dragging Zexion along.

"I didn't ask for this!" Zexion hissed to himself.

Meanwhile, Xigbar had knocked on Xemnas's door and entered. "Superior! Where ya at?" His eyes went to the bathroom. Hmm…to go in or not to go in?

Xemnas heard Xigbar's voice and he grabbed onto Saïx, "Stop, Xigbar's in the other room."

Saïx frowned, "What?"

Xemnas grabbed him and shoved him under water as the door opened up, "Hmm?" He looked at Xigbar as if he wasn't doing anything wrong. "Oh, Xigbar, I didn't hear you."

_H'o my god, he's drowning me!!_

"Superior! Hey, I was wondering where Saïx was at."

"Not here."

"So I've noticed. I was hoping to get him and the other newer members to go train. All the idle movement has me antsy. We're fighters, right? Need to work that into their minds."

_Aaaugh!! Auuuugh!_

"Oh absolutely. Perhaps, you know, pair them up and have them fight each other? It'll be a good workout."

"Sweet. I'm sure they'll like that."

"Of course."

_Xemnas!! I'm going to freaking bite you!! I can't hold my breath any longer!!_

"Oh, one last thing…" Xigbar looked around and leaned against the side of the hot tub. "I think Marluxia's scent is killing Zexion."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the guy gives off flowery aromas. I mean, I left my room and I could smell him from my spot. When I walked over here Zexion was passed out. I don't think it's just because he's a teenager, too. He's never really been one to act his age."

"If the odd behavior continues I'll be sure to talk to Zexion on the matter." Xemnas then yelled, "Ow!!"

"Uh…what?"

"Ow..uh…nothing…leg cramp!" Xemnas hissed and went to grab his 'leg' which was to actually pull on Saïx's hair really hard.

"Ah. Well, hope that fixes itself. I'll talk to you later. If you see Saïx anywhere be sure to send him to the gym."

"Indeed."

Xigbar soon made a portal and disappeared. Xemnas let go of Saïx and watched as the man surfaced and coughed for air. "Sorry about that."

_SORRY? I'LL FREAKING STAB YOU!!_ Saïx coughed and gasped for breath, unable to speak for the first few seconds. Finally his breathing went to a more normal state and he snarled at Xemnas, "Seriously? That wasn't necessary to almost kill me!"

"Oh hush. Get dressed, you're to fight with the others."

"Right NOW?"

"Yes. Xigbar is putting all of you up for a training session. It'll be fun, trust me."

Saïx pushed his hair out of his face, "If I die from this I'm blaming you."

"Mmm." Xemnas pulled him close for a few kisses before letting the man leave. Ah. Time to himself. Felt nice!

7777777

_I'm not sure what I hate more. The fact that I had to have really quick sex with Xemnas before he drowned me, or the fact that I'm out here about to fight a bunch of losers. Seriously, Axel looks like he'll break on impact if you touch him, Demyx won't shut up about winning strip poker, Luxord looks like he's missing a few screws, and Marluxia…is just a whore._

"Sorry to interrupt all of you from your…things…" Xigbar spoke. He mostly meant seeing Zexion and Luxord being put to shame as Demyx had beat them. He never wanted to see Zexion that unclothed ever again. And Marluxia? Oh boy. That was a different story altogether. The man didn't seem to have any modesty because he could really care less. So Xigbar got to watch him dry his body for five minutes before even bothering to cover himself. Saïx, for some reason, was the only one he couldn't find but had arrived here on time. How dumb. Eh, whatever, he was assuming the guy was boinking Xemnas and was just good at hiding from him. "This session is very important, though. We need to test your powers out and get you comfortable with them. Some of you may already seem adjusted to them, but we need to push you further and explore how far your powers can go. There are limits to what you can do, but that shouldn't stop you from trying your hardest to work around those limits."

The man came forward and started to walk past them, getting a good look at every single one of them, "We're going to start off with Saïx fighting against me. It'll give you something to watch, at least, and perhaps help the rest of you begin to strategize a better way to fight. Watch his moves and mine, and start to plan out how you would battle if you were in his spot."

_Why me? I can't even fight correctly. I snarl and scratch, that's about it. If Zexion and I were a team we'd be nicknamed Scratch and Sniff Stickers. I'm so lame, even my own retarded jokes are starting to make myself irritated. Maybe I should stop thinking so much? That would be nice._

"A forewarning for all of you; Saïx's ability is Berserk and he draws his powers from Kingdom Hearts and other moons. When Saïx is in Berserk mode, he has no control over his body and will often become irrational in his movements. He may attack you. If he starts to head toward your way, I suggest leaving the area as soon as possible. Use a portal and return to the meeting area, that's your safest place in the castle."

Marluxia flicked his hair, petals dropping to the ground, "There's no moon here in the gym."

"We're going outside, Princess," Xigbar remarked, "If we battled in here we'd destroy the castle. Any more comments?"

No one spoke.

"Good. Let's go, scouts!"

Demyx clapped his hands happily, "Oh! I love Boy Scouts!"

Axel snorted, "Don't ever say that ever again."

"They give you cookies!"

"So do strangers in vans."

Demyx blinked and frowned, "Hey, wait a minute…"

They stopped as they found a wide area that was somewhat destroyed. It seemed previous battles had gone on around there.

"All right! Fight is starting, dudes, get ready for some action!" Xigbar commented and pulled out his weapons. The guns gleamed brightly in the moonlight.

Saïx brought out his claymore, the spikes jutting out, blood still covering them from his previous kills. He felt himself rise up as his eyes glowed yellow, "I'll show you power."

He fell under the rage of Berserk and was unable to tell what he had done until he slipped back into consciousness. His eyes caught sight of Xigbar hanging upside down.

"Reload!" the man hollered and started to fill his guns back up.

Saïx's eyes went to the moon. A cloud had moved in the way of it. _Shit, I'll have to rely on my own strength._ He dashed and somersaulted in the air, claymore hitting the ground. Rocks shot up and pelted Xigbar making the guy flail slightly. "Whoa! Wasn't expectin' that!" He disappeared. Saïx frowned. _What the hell. He didn't even portal._ He heard a click behind him and felt a shard stab right into his shoulder. A snarl escaped him, his eyes starting to glow again as the moonlight recovered from its small cover. A laser then hit several of the crystals, and hit him directly in the chest. He fell backward, but at that moment he went right back into Berserk mode.

7777777

"_You look like you're in a bad mood," a voice broke the silence around me. I didn't look up from my spot, though, as I've already guessed who it is. I didn't bother replying, either, my eyes staring at the book in front of me. It was familiar, the pages bent and pictures cascading around it. I wanted to make it memorable, but I wasn't sure how to do it. "Not talking either? Such a shame." He sat down, picking up the photos to glance at them slowly before setting them back in front of me. Why was he even bothering to visit me? It wasn't like I was in the mood to talk to him. "Nothing at all?"_

"_Why are you here?" I broke over his words, trying to stop him from talking._

_He brushed his hair back and a small sigh escaped him, his lean body hunching over so that he could support his arm against his leg, chin resting on his hand leisurely. "I was curious about your state of mind, Lamb."_

"_Don't call me that."_

"_Why not? You make it sound like I'm hurting you."_

"_You are…"_

_Silence fell between us again and nothing else was heard besides the fan downstairs that was running. The window creaked slightly when the wind blew in, but nothing else interrupted our quiet behavior. Finally he reached over and grabbed my arms roughly. "Stop acting like this." He closed the journal roughly and gave it a toss, letting it skid to the dresser, "You're possessed by this feeling that you're cursed. It's stupid."_

"_You don't understand…just like everyone else."_

"_I do understand, I just don't…want it to be this way. Why else would I break up with you? You're stuck dwelling on your bad luck, you never lighten up to do anything else but pity yourself. It's hard to sit here and watch you do that to yourself, especially since you refuse to let go."_

_I looked away. I didn't want to hear it anymore._

"_Stop writing about it. If you don't remember in a few days, or even a few years…then it isn't important. Live now, not in the past."_

_I looked him in the eye, seeing his stern look. "If I did…would you take me back?"_

_His eyes became saddened, and I knew his answer. Why did I even press it? I already knew what he was going to say. "I can't do that."_

_I shook my head and pulled away from him, "Then leave me alone. Get out of here."_

_The figure hesitated before standing up. His footsteps hit the ground softly before he disappeared out the door, and the house went silent again. I picked up a picture of us, and felt myself start to cry. I screamed as loud as I could, getting out all the anger, the sadness, the hatred and love from me in one blow._

7777777

Saïx's scream echoed the empty fighting arena before he fell to his knees utterly weakened. He gasped for breath and spit blood onto the ruined gravel. The surge of rage hazed his mind, but he tried to focus on what was going on. He noticed his own powerful destruction to the area, but didn't find a single soul in sight.

_Where…did everyone go? How long have I been out here? Did I…hurt anyone?_ He held his head as he felt the blood pulsing through him in such a rush, his breathing still heavy from the continued rage. Xigbar did say everyone was to leave if he went out of control…

_I…hate my own ability. I can't do anything right…I've been a failure my entire life…and now I'm a failure in this afterlife. My ability isn't a haven for me, it isn't a way to seek revenge. My memories haunt me each time I go deeper into Berserk mode, and each night I sleep my dreams become terrible nightmares of the past. I want to let go finally, I wish I could pretend none of it happened, but they plague me like a sufferable disease. I can no longer tell who lies to me and who hasn't. Marluxia…Flower. Which memories are real and which are false? Why is it the darkness toys with my mind because of that stupid journal? Was it ever real, and if it was why did you lie to me? And now…you belittle me and scorn what we had. I feel cheated in so many ways. I told Xemnas I'd stay loyal to him…and yet I'm not even sure I can trust him anymore. He said my powers, in time, would fix themselves with use. Each time I use them, though, I feel a bit of myself become lost and ruined. Was he lying to make me trust him? How can I trust a man that has possibly killed my previous boyfriend? Is it…possible he really did kill Flower? Why? And more importantly…if I confront him about it…would he deny doing it? If he lies to me again, it would show that he is only playing around with me so that he can use my power, as they've been doing for so long. I'm a guinea pig to them, and whether I die or live…means nothing. They want my power, but they could replace it quickly with all the new members they've gained. What…am I? What have I become?_

Saïx felt rain start to come down upon him, the water coming down quickly and without warning. It thundered, and a flash of lightning struck here and there. Saïx, though, did not budge from his spot as the blood began to wash away and the searing rage calmed with the cold rain. His eyes rose to Kingdom Hearts, watching the frivolous moon blossom behind the dark clouds, only to be covered as if shy when he looked at it.

"I am…a monster."

7777777

As the storm hit Xemnas looked out the window curiously before dragging his eyes to everyone that had resigned themselves to the meeting area…which was still, unfortunately, the kitchen. Their normal meeting area was still closed off, as it wasn't operating for some reason. He wondered if it was because of the amount of people in the Organization. Was there a magic number before the room itself would start to work?

He had finished his hot tub experience sometime around a half hour ago. When he entered the kitchen to get coffee was when everyone else showed up. He wasn't sure why they had, they all kept silent for the longest time until Xigbar appeared. And even then Xigbar shrugged it off and just said training was taking a small break due to weather events. Though, at the time Xigbar pronounced this the weather was still perfectly fine.

"Hmm. Seems you're right about the weather," Xemnas commented.

Xigbar perked and gave a slight nod, "Yeah. The clouds looked pretty bad."

Xemnas continued to sip at his coffee before he finally registered why they were being so silent. They were training the new members, correct? Then…

"Xigbar. Where's Saïx?"

Xigbar gave a small smirk before losing it to a frown, "Um. Outside."

"And why, might I ask, is he still outside?"

"He went CRAZY!" Demyx blurted out. He covered his mouth at the remark and shook his head, "Uh, I mean…no not crazy at all. Yeah."

Marluxia sighed, "Why bother covering it up? Saïx was in Berserk mode and he went completely out of control. Our orders were to come here if things got bad, so we did."

Xigbar tilted his head down sadly, "And he wouldn't come out of it, so I left. He was either going to kill me or me kill him, and I didn't think either was good. I'm not sure if the dude has cooled down yet or not, Superior."

Xemnas put his coffee mug down, "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Uh..well…didn't want you to worry about it?" Xigbar stated.

Xemnas got up, "If he's rampaging about that means he could leave castle grounds again. As if I need a Berserking Saïx to suddenly go MIA."

Xigbar shrugged, "He knows how to get back."

Xemnas shook his head, "Not if he's stuck in the mental state he's in right now."

Axel watched Luxord play with his cards, "Sooo…he just…gets stuck? Like when those talking Furby's get stuck making that annoying noise when they freeze from low batteries?"

Everyone stared at him.

"Um. Okay, maybe none of you had a Furby." Axel mumbled before redeeming himself, "I mean like, if you push the 'on' button it just stays on."

Xemnas shook his head, "It isn't always like this."

Demyx nodded, "Yeah. He came out of it the first time, remember?"

"Well, maybe the continued use of it causes him to get 'stuck'?" Axel suggested.

"I wonder if he even knows what's happening to him?" Marluxia questioned as the cards were passed out. It seemed they'd be playing poker for awhile.

Xemnas moved a few steps and looked back at Marluxia, "Perhaps you can ask him when I return with him?" He went off with that, not posing any more questions. His footsteps reached the door outside and he noticed he could hardly see past 5 feet. His mind reached out for Saïx's aura, feeling it not too far away. He opened a portal and went through, arriving out into the pouring rain. His eyes searched the area, at first not seeing Saïx at all. But he tensed when he heard the scream. Xemnas slowly took his steps over to the area, eyes still searching for Saïx. Finally he spotted him not too far off gazing up at the moon. His steps halted, wondering whether he should interrupt or not. Was it…rightful of him to intrude? Saïx's words didn't reach Xemnas's ears, he couldn't read his lips either as the rain covered it all.

What was he thinking? Saïx would get sick if he stayed out here any longer. He moved over and watched as Saïx's eyes registered his movements.

"Saïx?"

Saïx moved his head to look directly at Xemnas, "Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

"No."

"Let's get you inside, okay?"

Saïx didn't move, as if the order didn't make sense to him. Xemnas held his hand out, "Come on. I'll help you."

"I have to ask you something…"

"Can it wait until we get inside? You're going to get sick if you stay out here for too long."

"I…" Saïx hesitated, voice clamping up. He closed his mouth and shook his head, "Okay."

Xemnas pulled him up and supported the boy as he faltered in his steps. They reached inside and together they made the journey to Saïx's room to get him dried off and into dry clothes. Then they went to the kitchen. Everyone watched as they entered, their small game of poker was now being watched by the entire group.

"What happened?" Zexion asked curiously.

"We'll discuss it later," Xemnas replied as he let Saïx take his seat. "Zexion, go get him something warm to drink. I'll be right back, I'm soaked."

Zexion stood up and went into the kitchen and returned with coffee, not sure what other warm substance to give Saïx. "Here," he mumbled as he set it before Saïx and moved Xemnas's cup to the side. "It's coffee."

"What a wonderful thing to give him," Vexen retorted, "Give the psychotic more energy to burn."

Xaldin groaned, "Vexen, now is not the time to give him crap."

"There is no 'crap' in this. Only truth."

Zexion glared, "I don't think you need to comment. He's not feeling well, and I'm doing my best to help out."

Vexen chuckled, "You're such a wonderful maid. Now all you need is the outfit! Marluxia, are you a tailor? I wonder if you could make something for our Schemer here."

Marluxia set down his cards, "I don't remember if I can sew or not."

Zexion glared at Marluxia and Vexen before turning to Saïx, "How are feeling?"

Saïx didn't reply, didn't even acknowledge his words. Zexion bent down to look Saïx in the eyes, noticing how drained his eye color was. It was almost…pale yellow, much different than the yellow they normally were. "I think he's actually sick."

"How can you tell?" Axel asked as he threw down his set of cards, failing at winning.

"His eyes are…different."

Xigbar and Xaldin leaned closer to look, falling back as Lexaeus grabbed Saïx's face to get a look himself. "Sick? More like powerless."

"Some moonlight will fix that up," Vexen chuckled.

"The moon won't be out for awhile," Luxord remarked, "Not in this stormy weather."

"Then we'll just have to wait it out, dudes," Xigbar concluded, taking his seat.

"I suppose…" Zexion mumbled.

"If we wait too long he'll become permanently damaged," Lexaeus boomed, his powerful voice never being heard this much before. They all exchanged looks wondering what he meant by this. "His mental state is wavering. Keeping him like this will only hurt him."

"We should tell Xemnas, then," Demyx pouted, "Saïx needs to get better so he can hang out with us again!"

_They're talking right at me, but they make it seem like I can't respond. Which…in an odd sense, I really can't. I'm…not sure as to why. I think I'm just too drained from the fight._

When Xemnas returned he listened to everyone's concerns about Saïx's health. "Indeed, he does seem drained. Though, earlier he did respond to me. I'm not sure why he isn't now."

"Maybe he's being moody again?" Vexen remarked.

"I doubt he'd be playing moody right now if he's in any type of sickly state," Zexion rationalized.

Xemnas looked down at Saïx, "His silence seems uncontrollable to me."

Xigbar leaned over and moved his finger before Saïx's face, everyone watched his eyes slowly follow before focusing on something else. "Maybe let him nap a bit?"

Xemnas took a sip of his own drink before facing Saïx again, "Would letting him sleep, though, cause worse things to happen?"

"What could be worse than this?" Axel questioned.

"Well…he might not wake up. Or he might dream too much…which could cause disorder in his thoughts."

"Do you really think letting him stay awake will help?" Xaldin remarked.

All eyes landed on Saïx for a minute in deep thought.

_I've…I've got to say something._ "Do…you remember?" _Did I just say that?_ "The moon? It was….New Year's…" _What am I saying?_

Everyone didn't know what to say. How did anyone respond to something like that? It…didn't relate to any of them, did it? Marluxia glanced at Saïx. He had a feeling the question was asked toward him.

"Yes, you." Saïx remarked, though he didn't physically point anyone out.

"I don't remember," Marluxia responded finally. Xemnas tensed at this. What was going on? He remembered reading about the incident on New Year's…when they kissed.

_And now what? What idiotic thing will I say now?_ "I…didn't think you would."

"Why are you bringing that up now?" Marluxia questioned, unfazed by his words.

"The moon was beautiful that night."

Xaldin raised an eyebrow and glanced toward the others, though no one knew what he was talking about. Xemnas continued to stand there before gently grabbing Saïx's arm, "You're not feeling well, you should rest…"

Saïx shook his head, "I don't want to sleep anymore…I'm sick of it."

"Tired of the nightmares?" Marluxia questioned.

More silence ensued over the group. Saïx nodded, "I'm sick of seeing the truth." _God, none of it was true, was it? What's making me decide it's true now? I…don't even know anymore._ "You're a whore."

Xigbar blinked, "He is?"

"Am I?" Marluxia questioned.

Zexion nodded, "I'm going to have to agree with Saïx." They stared at him and he noticed the slip up. "Well, not that I personally know or anything. I mean, I really wouldn't know on a personal level or any other level. I'm just agreeing with Saïx because it seems like a good thing to do."

Demyx frowned, "Did you sleep with him?"

"N-No! I wouldn't do such a thing here!"

"So…you'd do it somewhere else?" Axel questioned.

"No!"

Marluxia glanced at Saïx wondering if it was his quick and snide comments that had put Saïx into this mood. He was, in a way, two-faced. Everyone together saw the better side of him. But alone? Zexion had witnessed how cruel and manipulative he could be. So had Xemnas, and also Saïx. His personality could switch and mask itself so easily, just to accommodate those around him. "Well?"

Saïx shook his head, "I'm done."

Xemnas looked down, "Are you going to rest now?" Saïx nodded. _What more can I do? I can hardly stay awake._ Saïx pulled himself to stand, having Xemnas help him.

"If I'm a whore what does that say about you? You're the one sleeping with Xemnas."

The entire room fell into utter silence. A pin drop could have been heard at that given moment, all of their breathing stopped and their eyes widening as they prepared for a violent reaction from someone.

Xemnas stared at Marluxia, almost astounded at his words. The man was accusing him of having sex with Saïx and the man had just arrived at the Organization. How could he have already guessed something like that? "You believe I'm sleeping with Saïx?"

Marluxia pointed at Zexion, "He told me you were."

Zexion almost died. How did this turn on him? How?? "No, Superior, I didn't say anything like that!"

Marluxia nodded, "Yes you did, I asked what type of relationship they had and you said 'they sleep together'."

Zexion shook his head but no words came out. He couldn't deny it.

Xemnas's eyes were on Zexion now, "Is that what you said?"

Zexion froze up. He was on the spot and he couldn't deny his words, but he couldn't say anything to safeguard himself either. He tried thinking before his thoughts caught him. He pointed at Marluxia, "He MADE me say those things! He manipulated me into lying!"

"And how did I do that? I can't force you to talk," Marluxia replied casually.

Zexion looked down and then back at Xemnas, "I shouldn't have to defend myself on such an issue. I respect your authority, why would I go against something like that?"

"Authority has nothing to do with this," Marluxia interjected.

Zexion glared at Marluxia and stood up, "I don't deserve this treatment! This isn't even important! Saïx needs to get some rest, who cares what Marluxia's done or what he's accusing me of saying? I think having Saïx recover is more important than this conversation."

Xemnas sighed and supported Saïx better, "Follow me, Zexion."

Zexion looked from Xemnas to around the table and back to him before lowering his head and following him. Oh god, he was a dead man. He was going to be slaughtered.

They went off down the hallway. At first it was silent until Xemnas spoke up, "You told Marluxia, didn't you?"

"Superior, I—"

"Don't bother lying."

Zexion choked up but nodded, "I didn't mean to. He….just…I could hardly think straight when he asked me."

"Xigbar told me you were sleeping today. He has suspicions your odd behavior is because Marluxia's scent is rather strong."

"I….think he's right. The flowery aroma just…kills my thinking."

"Understandable. But, considering you've raised the issue of whether I do sleep with Saïx, I suppose we'll have to put the theory to test. And so," Xemnas opened Zexion's door, "You'll be taking care of Saïx for now. I'm sure you don't mind."

Zexion gapped and shook his head, "But I thought I was supposed to watch Marluxia and you watch him??"

"Plans have changed. I have to prove to everyone else that your 'lie' is nothing but that. A lie. Give me any updates on whether he improves."

Zexion watched Xemnas leave the room before laying his eyes on Saïx. The man looked so ill and uncomfortable. "Sorry, Saïx."

_I…can't believe it. Why was Zexion supposed to watch Marluxia? More importantly, Xemnas was supposed to watch me? Were they thinking I was going to cheat on Xemnas or something? God…I feel miserable…in more ways than one. The fact that Xemnas refuses to claim me…makes me feel sick to my stomach. If he didn't lie to the Organization…would it even matter?_

Saïx closed his eyes and sighed, pushing the thoughts out so he could get some sleep.

7777777

Three days had passed and no one questioned the Xemnas Saïx affair. They believed if they kept silent on it, the matter would fix itself. No one bothered to ask about Saïx's condition, either. The man, though, had worsened as the moonlight was blocked for three days, the rain continuing its terrible weather for the longest time. Zexion hardly knew what to do half the time, and each time he tried to make things better he felt like he was making everything worse. He shouldn't have tested the Superior…he shouldn't have told Marluxia a thing.

The thing was…Xemnas didn't even bother to see how Saïx was fairing. It made Zexion start to panic. Was there a reason for the Superior to avoid the man? Was it only to prove they weren't sleeping together? But…this was awful. It was isolating Saïx from contact. Zexion wasn't able to talk to him or make sense of what he wanted at all.

At one point he left the room to find Xemnas, going to his room and knocking on the door. He hesitated before opening up the door. He noticed Xemnas was asleep with Marluxia in his bed. Zexion panicked and closed the door quickly and silently. What was going on? How did that happen? Was he not paying attention to those two? Had they been sleeping together for long? WHY was Xemnas fucking everyone??

Xigbar walked up and nudged him, giving him a curious look. Zexion waved for Xigbar to follow him, and the two entered into the dark room where Saïx lay.

"How long have Marluxia and Xemnas been sleeping together?"

Xigbar blinked and hesitated in talking before shrugging, "Uh…I think the day Saïx got sick."

"How?"

"Well…Xemnas came back to the kitchen and called Marluxia out. They left together. I, being the sneaky bastard I am, followed because it's what I do. From what I saw, Marluxia only had to remove Xemnas's cloak and say 'I can satisfy you more than Saïx could ever dream of' and the two were in his bed roughing it up."

Zexion gapped, "He just…slept with him so quickly?"

"I guess he didn't expect us to think they'd do it right then and there after Marluxia said he was banging Saïx."

"So…his relationship with Saïx is just to…fuck, right?"

"Must be. Especially if he's screwing with Marluxia, too."

"Why is he screwing people? I don't understand this!" Zexion argued.

"Well…." Xigbar looked back at Saïx to make sure he was asleep before resting his hand on Zexion's shoulder, "Xemnas wants them to trust him…so giving in to what they want…inevitably results in trust. We've seen how obedient Saïx gets around Xemnas because of what they've been through. He only wants to gain their trust so we can harness their powers. You know…satisfy your people to get their vote type of thing. If he can make Saïx and Marluxia powerful and obedient….he'll hardly have to lift a finger when he wants world wide destruction."

Zexion sighed and put his hand to his head, "God. This is so messed up. Saïx is going to just….kill someone if he finds out."

"You're not going to tell him I hope."

Zexion shrugged, "I don't know. I feel terrible for him. If I hadn't said anything to Marluxia would he be cheated on right now?"

"Uh….yeah. Especially if Xemnas wants Marluxia's power on his side. He doesn't even care about Saïx, he just wants to use them. It's what a leader is supposed to do. Don't start thinking this is a touchy feely relationship type thing. Only a moron would fall for that."

Zexion shook his head, "No no, It's not like I find it like that. It's…Saïx…who might."

Their eyes landed back on him before turning away. Xigbar shook his head, "Shit. You're right. The guy's screwed, man."

"We're all screwed. If Saïx finds out he'll hate all of us. And I really don't want to be on the end of Saïx's claymore. It was painful enough the first time."

Xigbar rubbed at his chin and snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "What if we befriend Saïx enough to the point he won't feel like he has to rely on Xemnas so much. And if he finds out about Xemnas…we play dumb and try to support him. You know, the whole 'I can't believe he'd hurt you like that' type thing. He'd trust US then! We'd still have the advantage of having Saïx in the Organization!"

Zexion shrugged, "I suppose it's worth a shot."

7777777

_Buzzing. Soft buzzing. Eerie lights and harsh winds. Turning and turning, over and over. Stopping quickly._

_There I am, lying on the ground lifeless as the grass sways in the wind, the heat of a burning damaged car not too far off from behind me. The blue sky turns a meek gray as the birds fly off from the tree. My face stings terrible and my limbs feel broken. Blood soaks my entire vision, and my eyes start to burn._

"_Seven…"_

_My words are hardly above a whisper. The number which vexes my life has come around again. I can see it in the clouds, brushing in the grass, against my body and all over the earth. It's everywhere and anywhere that I can see. When I close my eyes, it appears brightly and burns into my mind._

"_Help…"_

_I start to choke, a cough trying to escape my body but can't. I have no energy and everything about me is shaking, shutting down in terrible shock. Noises. Lots of noises begin to surround me and I hear a scream, others trying to communicate to me about what has happened._

"_Am I…dead?"_

_I can't tell anymore. The feeling is so…friendly…even if it's cold. It's peaceful. And the feeling is so strong that it makes me want to embrace it, let myself sleep in this feeling._

"_Stay awake!"_

_Who yelled that at me? Who wants to take me away from this feeling? Then there is more movement, blacking out and coming to, fainting and awakening several times when at last I awaken in a bed._

_White. Everything is white. Gloomy. The sound of my heart beating starts to fade as I look for a face to familiarize with, for a person to confide in._

"_Do you remember…" I began to whisper, "the moon…it was New Year's…"_

_I felt someone grab me, my ice cold fingers warming up as they were clasped. I could feel their numbness reside and touch the tears from someone._

"_I remember…"_

"_I still think you're beautiful…even though…I didn't think you would…understand…"_

"_Shh, don't talk so much."_

_My eyes tried to focus on the figure, but I couldn't, "You broke my heart."_

"_I'm—"_

Saïx awoke with a start as he panted for breath, shaking as his entire body was freezing, yet he was sweating at the same time. His muscles were tensing and everything about him was sore. He snarled, feeling his teeth grow in his mouth and his vision begin to blur with yellow.

"Saïx! Saïx!"

He coughed and he felt something slide up his throat, thick and slimy. Saïx sat up and felt it come right out. Blood, everywhere, soaking his front and the person in front of him. He moved away, trying to stand up, but the movement caused him to faint.

"_You're alive?"_

_I turned my head and saw that displeased look across his face. Him again. It was as if he never left me alone, as if he lived to ruin me._

"_Father," I mumbled._

"_Wrong. Good guess, though. You probably wouldn't remember me anyway. You haven't seen me in a long time."_

_I tried focusing harder, trying to make the face make sense, but it wouldn't. "Who…"_

"_I brought you a gift, hope you like it."_

_My hands touched something. It was a box. I lifted it and noticed it had decorative band-aids in it. "Thank you..?"_

"_I thought you'd need it…after what happened."_

"_I don't remember anymore…"_

"_You wouldn't…you won't remember this day, this meeting, or who I am after I leave this room."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You hit your head too hard…"_

"_I hit my head?"_

"_Yes. They did surgery and everything to fix as much as they could, but they can't do much about brain damage."_

"_I…damaged my brain?"_

_The figure patted his hand, "It's okay, you'll get to live and remake all of those memories you had. How's that sound?"_

"_I'm…not sure that I understand."_

"_Your doctor can explain later. I've got to go, don't want to drag this out much longer than needed."_

Saïx shot back up, struggling against someone who was restraining him. He snarled again, his cry beastly and harsh. His hands tried to push away what was going on, unsure of what was real and what wasn't. Something hit his arm and a painful scream escaped him, his hair rising on end and his teeth starting to gnash in anger. His growl was deep, and he felt his fingernails dig into someone's flesh before the world blacked out again.

_Back in bed, but this time I am sitting up, propped against pillows as a figure is sitting next to me. "Hi."_

"_Hey…"_

"_Are you my brother?" I don't have a brother. Why did I ask such a thing?_

"_No, I'm a friend of yours. I brought you something to help you remember…who you are."_

"_I know who I am, don't I?"_

"_Well…these are specific things about you. You wrote them in this journal a long time ago." The journal was put into my hands, and it looked the same as usual._

"_I like the pictures," I replied once I opened to the first few pages. "What does it say?"_

"_That…we were friends. And it says our names under each picture."_

"_Which one are you?"_

"_That one."_

"_It's a nice picture."_

"_I…"_

_Everything started to blur, and I felt like I was falling. Things changed, and I was lying down again, this time I couldn't move or see. My eyes were closed, but there were people around me that I could hear. Their tones were soft and saddened._

"_The damage is getting worse. We'd have to remove parts of his brain that will stop all of his functions."_

"_Which functions?"_

"_He will no longer be able to eat solid foods, his movement will be limited, his speech marred and possibly irreparable. He'll need help going to the bathroom, getting changed…any basic necessity."_

"_What are…his chances of surviving such a surgery?"_

_There was a pause before I heard the doctor speak again, "Very slim. There's a possibility his entire brain will shut down once the surgery happens…and if we leave him as is he'll bleed to death and it'll kill him."_

"_Can we pull the plug?" a deeper voice, which I recognized as my father, had asked._

"_In this particular situation…yes, you have that option."_

"_Give us time to think…"_

_Why are they doing this to me? I can hear them, I'm still here…I'm still…_

"Saïx?"

He opened his eyes slowly and tried to focus on the person, finally being able to see Zexion sitting before him. The boy was covered in blood, and he looked absolutely terrible. Had he done that to him? "Zexion?"

"Thank God you're better. You've been going insane for the past hour or so. The moon's finally out…"

Saïx glanced at the window, seeing the moon lying across his stomach, "It…it's so nice."

"No shit. I've never been so happy in my life to see Kingdom Hearts," Xigbar mumbled and rubbed Saïx's shoulder, "You've been out for quite a few days, eh? Didn't think you'd ever come around."

Saïx nodded, "I…I felt like I was dying…"

Xigbar frowned, "How so?"

"Just…the dream…"

Zexion shook his head, "Sometimes dreams are just that…dreams. What you might think are memories could be anything but a memory."

_Maybe Zexion is right…and my mind is just deceiving me. I should listen to him…he would know better than me, right?_ "I hope it's just a dream…"

"What was it about?" Xigbar asked casually.

"My parents were pulling the plug on me…because I was brain dead. But what I don't get was…the fact that I wasn't. It was…hard to deal with."

The two members glanced at each other before returning their eyes to him. "You probably dreamt that one up. You were, in fact, so weak from fighting that it might have caused you to think that way."

Saïx nodded, "Yeah…" He started to sit up, "I'm feeling much better."

"You should keep resting," Zexion warned but watched as Saïx stood up without troubles, his ailments completely gone. "Saïx…"

"I'm fine." He stretched and looked at the time, "Where's Xemnas? I want to go talk to him."

Xigbar stiffened and gave out a slight laugh, "Xemnas? Who the hell knows? Why don't I find him for you, and then you can….go see him. Since I mean, I can find the Superior quicker than anyone else!"

Saïx didn't catch the stalling and rambling, just nodded as he turned his head to Xigbar, "Thanks."

Xigbar moved out of the room and travelled back down the hallway, wondering if Xemnas had left his room yet. It had been one hell of a day trying to stop Saïx from his odd behavior…Hell, he didn't even know how long that lasted! It was long enough! His footsteps stopped before the ominous door and he gave a quick whack to it before yelling loudly, "Sup! It's Xiggy!"

There was a moment of hesitation, a dull silence falling all around Xigbar before he heard, "Come in."

He opened the door and entered hoping that Marluxia wasn't going to be there, but the flowery scent hit him hard and he almost staggered in his steps. "Hmm…smells…fresh in here. Been using a new air freshener?"

Xemnas shook his head as he sat at his desk, the chair pushed in close. "No, not that I know of. What do you need, Xigbar?"

Xigbar paused as he looked at Xemnas's appearance. His hair was a bit messed up, the cloak wasn't all in the right position, the chair was way too close to the table that it made him suspicious about….about…

"Oh you know, I stopped in to check on Saïx and he's finally better! He's standing up and everything!"

He cracked his back, which was his secret way of scoping the area, and saw the Superior's pants were halfway under the bed. At least…he hoped those were the Superior's. "He said he wanted to see you."

Xemnas faltered in answering, "Well…" he then let out…did Xigbar dare think it? He let out a small gasp of pleasure, but it was so slight that Xigbar tried to deny that it happened. "Well I'm busy…he'll have to wait….I'll send for him when I'm prepared."

Xigbar nodded a bit and stepped back, "I'll make sure he gets the message." His eyes caught a few flower petals were around the end of Xemnas's desk. OH GOD. Was Marluxia under the desk? Oh….freaky. "Um….so yeah. Later, Xemnas."

"Indeed."

Xigbar closed the door behind him and almost gagged before rushing back to Zexion's room, noticing the two were tidying up Zexion's room since it had gone through a lot of Saïx abuse. "Heeeey, Saïx. Sorry to say, but the Superior is busy right now."

Saïx blinked before smiling, "So I can bug him, right?"

"NO." Cool, shout at the guy, make it sound like the Superior is dying, "Noooo. He's actually busy and can't be interrupted, he was angry enough that I showed up. He said he'd send for you when he's ready, eh?"

Saïx frowned. _What's that supposed to mean? I'm not allowed to see him? Oh, maybe he's setting up some ultra sex thing? Oooh, I'd like that. It's been awhile since we've been together…well okay, three days wasn't actually that long ago, but still! He probably can't wait to get his hands on me, that protective and clingy ho._ "All right."

7777777

_Eight hours, three minutes, 34 seconds. I've been sitting in my room counting how long it'd take for him to send for me, and now I'm kind of thinking that he's not going to. His business has never lasted this long. Whatever he's doing it must be really complicated. Like…making a replica of the castle out of Styrofoam and gluesticks. It better be something that complicated or I'm going to be pissed._

Saïx tapped his foot before standing up for the hundredth time, pacing the floor as he looked around for any hopeful signs that Xemnas left him a note that said he should get naked and get on top of him. There were no such messages, and he was starting to crave getting naked more and more.

_What the hell is he doing? Is he not prepared for sex? Maybe he's having a deep cleansing experience to make it that much better? Or maybe he's off in a different world getting me a gift? Oh yeah! I forgot that he owed me a gift! I should go find him right now!_

Saïx stopped his pacing and moved for the door, pushing it open with one hand. His eyes swiped the area before heading toward the kitchen. Hey, he hadn't eaten anything for the longest time, he deserved a snack before he went to his boyfriend.

As he entered, though, there was Xemnas sitting with the others enjoying the night with snacks. His entrance caused everyone to stop their talking.

_Why…would he deliberately lie to me like that? No, don't get offended. He probably forgot, that's typical of Xemnas._

"Whoa, Saïx," Axel muttered, seeing the man look so different. It seemed the man had lost a little bit of weight in the three day starvation period. "Why don't you…join us?"

Marluxia looked back at Saïx and smirked, "Yes, you should get something to eat and drink. You look famished."

Saïx hardly listened to them, only stared at Xemnas as the man ignored his presence. Saïx gave up on getting a response from him and slowly sat down in chair number 7, holding his breathe and tensing his muscles as his bottom touched the seat. Nothing happened. Yet.

"Saïx! You look great!" Demyx yelled happily, blowing bubbles while he talked, which was a really odd ability to have. "We should hang out now that you're better!"

Xaldin, although, shook his head, "Saïx is still in a shaky setting, Demyx, he probably needs a bit more rest."

"No." Saïx's words were crisp. "I feel fine. I'm just in a bad mood."

"How typical," Vexen snidely remarked and put his drink down, "But let's not make you any grumpier than you already are. Everyone is right, you should try and enjoy our company."

Saïx grumbled as he snatched up a cup and stared at the contents, "What is it?"

"Apple cider," Marluxia cooed as he picked up a cherry and delicately ate it.

"Marluxia made it," Demyx added before finishing a cookie he had on his plate.

"Don't tell me he hand picked the fruits and made the cookies, too," Saïx growled.

"Actually…" Xigbar started.

"He did," Lexaeus finished.

Saïx sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, deciding eating could be put off for a bit longer. No matter how tempting it all looked, he'd rather refuse associating himself with that pink-haired twit than conforming just because he knew how to make food.

"Lost your appetite already?" Axel questioned as he picked at his grapes and devoured them.

Saïx didn't reply, only sat there. The other members exchanged looks at his intolerable acts but ignored him as they went back to eating.

_Not a single word from him. Is that it? Does he just not care about me anymore? I fascinated him at one point…but now…I don't fascinate him. Why is that? Does it…have to do with Marluxia?_ Saïx's eyes glanced over at the man who was gently wiping his fingers on a napkin, finishing his meal. He got up and smiled, "I'll take anyone's plate that's done."

Slowly he grabbed up any plates he could, leaning near Saïx as he took Axel's plate from him. Demyx, at that moment, got up and rushed past to go play outside, but he bumped Marluxia. Everyone stopped breathing as the plates and cups crushed down upon Saïx littering him with cider and some fruits.

Marluxia paused as he stepped back wondering what Saïx would do. He had seen the man's powers, he knew not to push his buttons, but what could he do in this particular situation? "I'm sorry, Saïx, Demyx bumped me."

His eyes grew dangerously yellow but it subdued as he calmed himself. _Come on, Saïx, it was a mistake. Demyx is a retard, and not even someone as graceful as Marluxia could avoid that. Besides, you're in seat number 7, you should expect such a turn out from such things._ "Don't worry about it." He started to pick up the dishes, not noticing the crowd of eyes upon him. Though, after awhile the feeling started to get at him and he looked. "What?"

"You controlled yourself," Xemnas finally spoke, staring right at him.

Saïx set the dishes down, "So?"

"It's…a good thing."

"I'm hardly impressed," Saïx replied, getting up and noticing how drenched he got. "I'm going."

"Where?"

Saïx's eyes looked back at Xemnas. _Did he seriously just ask me that question?_ "To Beast's castle so his tableware can wash every inch of my body. Where do you think?" He flicked his hand and a portal appeared, going through it to his room. He quickly threw his clothes off and into the dirty hamper. _Well that wasn't worth it._ Saïx moved for the bathroom and noticed how messy it still was. _Not that I mind messy, considering this will forever stay this way._ He got in the shower and let the water blast him. All the things that he thought he cared about right now…not so much on his caring list anymore.

_Only a fool would have thought anyone could sleep with the Superior. I am clearly that fool .We fucked and we gave up after my intolerance to control myself. I'm a lost cause and Xemnas knows it. He's obviously moved on, or else he would have at least had the decency to talk to me. I'm a failure._

After a long shower Saïx exited and dried off, wrapping the towel around himself and going toward the window to peak out it. He wanted to do something besides stay inside. But…he'd have to put clothes on if he went anywhere.

Wait, was it really an order to wear clothes if he was going outside the castle? He didn't read up on any of that, nor was he lectured about such things…

Saïx dropped his towel and put on his boxers before opening a portal and disappearing through it. He found himself on the roof enjoying the view. _Wow. Everything looks different from here. I feel like I'm king of the world or something! And…there's Kingdom Hearts._ Saïx smiled up at the moon and felt how direct the powers came to him at this spot. Without clothes on, it felt even better, more powerful…

"Hmmm," he glanced below. "Long drop." But….looked almost…invigorating.

Saïx backed up and ran for it, taking a tremendous leap. His heart pounded (was that his heart?) as he descended the skies. He let out a laugh, which at this momentum sounded absolutely hilarious. It kind of struck him that….did he know for sure that portals would work if they weren't on a flat surface?

_Ahaha, great way to die you idiot._

As the ground closed in he concentrated on making a portal, and it appeared right below him.

He landed on his bed with a crash.

_Ow. Fuck. Note to self, make that a softer landing._ Saïx got up and looked at the cracking bed. He had obliterated his room rather nicely. _Fuck yeah! I want to do that again!_ He opened another portal and disappeared through it, back on the roof tops.

Vexen heard the crash and dropped all of his papers. After cursing up a storm, he opened Saïx's door but didn't see a person in sight. "Where in the world has that buffoon gone?"

Zexion exited his room to figure out where the noise had come from, "Did you do that?"

"Dropping papers doesn't cause explosions, Zexion. I think Saïx is up to something he—" Vexen then saw Saïx falling to his death…LAUGHING. "GREAT SCOTT!" Vexen dashed over to the window and summoned a portal.

Saïx saw it summon, "That's not—"

He went through and landed on Zexion, crushing the poor guy, "Miiiine?"

Zexion about died. That was a bit too close for comfort, and also it was very painful. "Ugggh, my sternum," he coughed and rubbed his chest, "Your elbow just jabbed my kidney!"

Saïx continued to lay there for a minute on top of Zexion, "Oh. Did you want me for something?"

Vexen went over and slapped Saïx across the face, "What are you, apeshit insane???"

The commotion had caused others to gather, and soon the entire Organization was in Saïx's room waiting for an explanation.

"I'm confused, are we curious as to why he was on Zexion?" Xigbar whispered to Xemnas.

The man hushed him before coming forward, "What happened?"

Vexen pointed at Saïx, "He was falling to his death! I saved him!"

Zexion rubbed his body, "And tried to kill me."

Saïx shook his head, "Whoa whoa, let's not get so hasty. I was clearly free-falling after I jumped off the building. That's not necessarily falling to my death." Silence. _Okay, so maybe it is._ "I wasn't going to DIE for Pete's sake! I did it before, I just used a portal right before I hit the ground and landed in my bed."

Vexen frowned, "Is that what that terrible cracking noise was?"

"That was my body making contact with the wood. It was a great experience."

"You fool! So you jumped again?"

Saïx shrugged, "Seemed like something to do."

"While you were naked?" Axel commented. More silence. Saïx looked at his boxers. They were still clearly on him, so he wasn't naked.

"You should seriously try it."

Xemnas shook his head, "No more of this ridiculous nonsense! Saïx, you could have gotten hurt—"

Saïx laughed, "Oh, as if that matters NOW. I'm still alive, who cares what could have happened?"

Xemnas glared, "I do! If you HAD died I would have been down a—"

"Slave in your diabolic plan? I'm sure another worthless worm will drag themselves out of the darkness and abide to your will. Everyone else seems to be glad to be under your orders! What's another? And hey….it's not like we're actually alive anyway."

Saïx shrugged and moved near the window, "Stop worrying about something you can't change."

"It WILL change!" Xemnas went over and whipped him around, slamming him against the wall, "That's an order."

Saïx sighed, "Of course, Superior, I almost forgot how you worked with your subordinates."

"Drop the attitude."

Saïx rolled his eyes, "What do you want me to do? Quit speaking?"

"Quit acting like a fool! Don't you have any common sense? Jumping off of buildings is stupid, but talking back to me as if you're in the right is much worse than that."

Saïx sighed before crossing his arms over his chest, "Fine, Superior, you're right and I'm wrong…as usual."

Xemnas let go of him and glared before returning his eyes to the group, "We're finished here."

Axel sighed, "Damn. I was hoping for something steamy."

Saïx laughed, "Done? I'm just getting started."

Xemnas glared, "I said—"

But Saïx had created a portal and vanished through it before Xemnas could finish his sentence. The man's fist balled up and he clenched his jaw, ready to scream but kept it down. Swiftly he turned to face the others, glaring at them. "I'll be back. Everyone leave this room."

The people dispersed quickly while Xemnas concentrated on the whereabouts of Saïx's powers. "You will pay for this behavior," he muttered to himself, knowing that Saïx couldn't hide forever.

7777777

_Oh fuck fuck fuckity fuck. Why did I just do that? I played wise ass and now I'm going to get it IN the ass. And I picked the most obvious place to go, too. Then again, I've never been to any other worlds, so how else would I know how to get away?_

Saïx ran into a room and glanced around at the womanly features of the place and how it smelled pleasant. His eyes darted to the armoire and he opened it up, pushing the clothes aside, and got in. As he closed the door he could hear Xemnas walking down the hallways.

_Don't come in here. Don't come in here. Don't come in here!_

"Saïx!" Xemnas growled, opening the door and glancing around, looking under the bed, "Where are you?"

_Clearly not in the armoire. Or shall I say…armoooooiiiire? Oh god, don't laugh, keep it in!_

"Saïx!" Xemnas approached the armoire when it started to move, giving out a loud yawn.

"Saïx? Never heard of him. Oh my, who are you? What are you doing in Belle's room?"

Xemnas stepped back as the armoire started to talk to him, "I'm looking for someone…he came in here."

"He did? I didn't see him, but my eye sight is probably going," the armoire casually talked and gave a soft chuckled, "You look pretty cute. What type of friend is this? Tall, dark, and handsome?"

Xemnas winced and thought over how to describe him, "Well…he has yellow eyes, blue hair, and he's only wearing boxers."

The armoire chuckled, "Now that's the type of man I like! If he comes in here I'll give a holler, darling, how's about that?"

Xemnas nodded, "All right…thank you."

_That…was odd in so many senses. I'm inside a talking piece of furniture!!_ Saïx heard the door open and close, held his breath a little while longer as the footsteps died down the hallway, and he touched the door to open it up. It started to jumble and dance around. "Shh!! Shhh! Don't say a word!"

The door opened and he felt a drawer slam into his back and shove him out. "How in the world did you get in there??"

Saïx smiled, "I…went in while you were sleeping?"

She glared, "Oh boy, your friend is looking for you. Just wait until I give a holler—"

"No no! Shh, please. He can't find out, not yet." Saïx was in the middle of explaining when Belle opened her door to enter and covered her eyes.

"Oh my, what's going on? Why aren't you decent?"

Saïx looked down at his boxers. Eh. So that's why it was important to wear clothes all the time. "Uh….long explanation?"

"Who are you? Why are you in my room??"

"I can't really explain—"

Xemnas entered back in and his eyes locked on Saïx with a glare, "There you are! You're going right back to the castle, Saïx!"

Saïx laughed as he backed himself up against the window, "Hey, let's not be so pushy—" Xemnas slammed him into the glass and it shuddered with the force, "Ow, okay okay, I'll go back."

"I'm sick and tired of your little games that you keep playing! Do you find it funny to go around and risk your life when I have deliberately told you not to do such things?" Xemnas shoved the window open and leaned Saïx out it, "Perhaps you don't understand the reality of this situation.

Belle gasped and dashed off as this went on, the armoire basked in the corner at the interesting fight.

Saïx saw the dizzying heights as he was leaning out the window in a choker hold by Xemnas. Oh wonderful. Juuuust great! He always wanted to die like this!

"You disobedient dog," Xemnas growled, "Your immature behavior will end now."

Then Xemnas yelled in pain and let go of Saïx. The man felt himself start to slip, but a giant claw came out and clawed into his stomach, pulling him in by his flesh. It hurt like hell, but was better than falling. Though…his portal trick could have come in handy.

There Beast was towering over Xemnas ready to strike him again. Saïx could see that fear, the fear he was so used to seeing whenever he got angry because everyone expected to see his ugly side. He swiftly moved in front of the man and saw Beast's expression change.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't…hurt him…" Saïx mumbled, "I…I brought him here on accident. We'll be leaving…sorry, Beast."

Beast glared but backed away, "Then leave now."

Saïx nodded but looked down and noticed his entire front was dripping with blood. "Ugh, crap!"

Beast glanced back and noticed the problem he had caused. He couldn't really send them off like that, Saïx looked pretty wounded from his claws…

"Go left and down the hallway….you can fix him up there," Beast grumbled before slinking off, pushing Belle to follow him.

Xemnas looked at the mess and sighed, "Fine…come on." He grabbed onto Saïx and they went to the designated room, finding it as just another bedroom but with a personal bathroom. Saïx stiffly sat down as the claw mark got worse and kept silent until Xemnas returned with the needed medical supplies.

"How's it look?"

Xemnas shrugged as he dabbed at it, "Not too terrible." They fell in silence until Xemnas asked a question, "Why…did you jump off the roof?"

"I told you I was bored. I really wasn't trying to get in trouble."

"Well…why did you argue with me?"

Saïx looked away, "You didn't bother seeing me today, so I was upset."

Xemnas gently rubbed ointment into the wound and looked up at the upset member. His actions really had upset him…how intriguing. "I didn't mean to ignore your wishes, but…I was busy…"

"With what?"

Xemnas had to think quickly and said the first thing that came to mind, "The arrival of our newest member."

"We don't have any new members…"

"Not yet, but I know another is coming soon."

"Another one is always coming…how does that trump seeing me?"

"Don't act so cheated, Saïx, I would have saw you sooner or later."

"You had a snack time instead of seeing me!"

Xemnas nodded, "Yes, because Marluxia made us food and it would be considerably rude to refuse. I believe when you made me eat zebra for dinner I didn't decline your cooking."

"You didn't know it was coming, though. And besides…Marluxia's just…just…"

"Just what?"

Saïx crossed his arms over his chest, "I don't know. He's not who he's pretending to be, and it's really annoying. I can tell he's up to something!"

"Up to something? I highly doubt he's doing anything out of the ordinary."

"How would you know?"

"I've talked to him while you've been asleep."

Saïx glared, "You shouldn't trust him!"

That was when it clicked to Xemnas why Saïx was acting this way. Acting out for attention, taking it so that Xemnas had to keep his eyes on him. "You're jealous."

Saïx felt heated but couldn't refuse. _He's right, I'm beyond jealous about Marluxia. If he's been talking to the Superior, what else could they have done while I've been out?_ "So what if I am?"

"I would say you're acting ridiculous, but I suppose you have a right to think that way. You're so used to having my attention on you it offends you that I'm paying attention to someone else."

"What have you two been doing while I've been gone?"

Xemnas paused but went back to his job, "Nothing. We talked."

Saïx sat up, grabbing Xemnas's hand, "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

Xemnas stared into those big eyes but couldn't find a way to say that he wouldn't, nor that he would. "Of…course not."

Saïx shook his head, "Liar. You've done it before, what would make this any different?"

"Oh please, you're acting out for no reason."

"What did you two do?"

"We did nothing, I already told you that."

_He won't even look at me when he says it like that…_ "Did you sleep with him?"

Xemnas looked away, shaking his head, "That's none of your business."

"It is my business! Before Marluxia was here you seem interested in me, but as soon as I close my eyes you're fucking him like what you said to me didn't matter! I might not have feelings, but I still have memories, and I know what you're doing is wrong, and I know how much it really hurts." Saïx stood up and let his yellow eyes glare into Xemnas's, "Do you think it's entertaining…that you treat me like I'm a monster? I kept denying it…but today when I saw the look on your face when you saw Beast….it reminded me of the way you looked at me every time my powers started to take over in the slightest. You and everyone else…refuse to see past that."

"I'm not trying to personally destroy you, Saïx, that isn't my intention."

"Your intentions are to USE everyone that shows up at the castle doors!"

Xemnas crossed his arms over his chest, "To put it in better terms, I'm trying to have the entire Organization trust me as a responsible leader that they can confide in when needed. A leader must have the respect of his subordinates to be able to do anything! To even…call myself a leader."

"So you sleep with everyone? That's great. I'm sure that just makes me trust you so much more than before. Thanks for lying to me!"

Xemnas sighed, "Saïx! That wasn't what I was going for! You were different…"

"Marluxia must have been different, too! How convenient for you."

Xemnas slammed Saïx back into the seat, grabbing onto the arms angrily, "You kept asking me for it, and every time I refused you pushed yourself farther away from me. You couldn't trust me at all, and you didn't want to if I kept saying no. I gave up and gave in because I knew you wouldn't fight it, and you'd become more obedient if I threw away my own comforts to satisfy you." He let go and stood up straight, arms returning across his chest. "You weren't supposed to know about Marluxia."

Saïx glared, "You'd think I'd just not see it? Why do you always think I'm so stupid?"

"Because it's the way you are, Saïx."

Saïx fell silent before feeling the hatred build up in his mind, the thoughts making him tense. "Why Marluxia?"

"You were bound to return to him."

"You think because I was with 'Flower' that I'd just as easily return to his Nobody? The man's completely different! He's a compulsive liar and a whore!"

Xemnas sighed, "Odd hearing that from you. Considering you slept with Flower and then came begging for more to me."

Saïx rose again, knocking his chair over, "I gave up on Flower as soon as you accepted me. You don't even have the decency to do something like that. You saw what I did with Flower and you were jealous, I know you were. Don't deny it, I can tell what you're thinking!! You wanted that experience more than anything, and when you killed him you knew it meant I had no one to turn to but you…in case I did betray you. But…that's not enough for you, is it?"

Xemnas shook his head, "I didn't want you returning to him under any circumstances."

"So you slept with him?"

He snapped at Saïx finally, "Yes, I did! I saw the way you talked about him, the way you described every detail about him! The looks you had when you spoke, or even the emotions you thought of! I wanted that…and he offered all of those things to me. How could I refuse?"

Saïx looked down, "I could have…offered the same things…"

"No, you couldn't. You want something you can't have. What Marluxia and I have…is not bound by feelings or silly ideals about being a couple. We do what our bodies want, not what our minds have told us to do! You wanted an actual relationship….and that, Saïx, is impossible."

_He never wanted me. Those words, he's been tainted by Marluxia's powers. He's been convinced I am nothing and I'm the one who's off the mark._

Saïx felt tears slide down his cheeks and he glared at Xemnas, opening up a portal, "Yeah. Everything is impossible in your mind. That's why you will never remember anything, because you're too weak to do it. I'm going, and this time don't follow me. It'll look like you're 'caring' and that's impossible for someone of your stature."

Saïx went through and closed the portal quickly, arriving back at his house. It was silent and dark, his parents weren't home. His room was messy for some reason, but he chose to just go with it for now. He rummaged through the closet and got some clothes on him before concentrating hard on a new place. He wanted to see a different moon tonight…one that didn't remind him of what a monster he really was….

A portal formed and he went through, escaping the house to a new area.

7777777

It was a two full weeks that the Organization heard nothing from Saïx or his whereabouts. At first no one was worried because it was Saïx and the man always had his moody issues. But as the days continued to pass they started to wonder if he was seriously injured and they had overlooked the situation too soon. The man was pretty accident prone, he could be half dead by now….or completely dead. Still, no one bothered to look. They wanted to have Xemnas order them into the situation, to know that it was something he wanted. The more they waited, though, the more they knew Xemnas wasn't going to bother with the issue. It was easy to tell that Xemnas was disturbed and upset with the prolonged departure, but he refused to lift a finger or bring up the subject at any of their meetings. Xigbar believed it was because of his new interest in Marluxia, and the others readily agreed with him. Perhaps it was a jealousy war that none of them had known about? Or maybe it pained them too much to bring it up? Either way, it was starting to get on everyone's nerves.

As the beginning of the third week without the Luna Diviner kicked off, Xigbar had to bring it up at their newest meeting.

"Xemnas, shouldn't we be thinking about Saïx right now? He's gone missing for awhile, and we've all failed to say anything about it until now."

Xemnas glanced over to Xigbar before letting his eyes swipe across the members, "Is…this true?"

Everyone nodded.

"Well…Saïx ran off and I've been unable to locate him. I assume he'll come back…"

"What if he doesn't?" Demyx asked with a pouty bottom lip.

"Yeah, Xemnas, he's obviously the least stable of us all…I think he could go off the deep end if none of us try to intervene," Axel put in his two cents.

"He only gets hurt when other people get in his way." Marluxia flipped his hair gently before glancing at the others. "The man is indestructible unless you approach him. Let him play around until he tires himself out."

"That's a stupid idea," Zexion remarked. "Saïx doesn't know when to stop himself, he just keeps going until he almost dies."

Marluxia looked over at Xemnas. "What do you think?"

Xemnas didn't even think it over, just nodded a few times before he spoke. "Yes, I believe Marluxia is right. He'll be fine."

Zexion glared but stopped from yelling at him as Lexaeus gently placed his hand on him. There was no point in arguing. Xemnas always agreed with Marluxia no matter what the circumstance was.

"I'm glad we had this discussion, now, let's—" Xemnas was interrupted when the doors creaked open and caught their attention. There stood Saïx before them. He looked tanner and joyful, as if the vacation had brightened his mood considerably. His eyes were gleaming brightly as he came forward and leaned against his chair.

"Another meeting? Did I miss anything good?"

Demyx jumped up and grabbed onto him, "Saïx! You're back!! We thought you died!"

"Died? That's impossible for someone like me."

As Saïx took his seat Xemnas sat up more and leaned his elbows onto the table, orange eyes staring at Saïx's features. "What have you been doing during your absence?"

"I was in Agrabah."

"Doing what?" Vexen hissed, conjuring terrible images about the heated place.

"Learning how to belly dance."

Silence ensued as they thought it over. They wouldn't put it past Saïx to do something that dumb for two weeks straight.

"I'm joking. I was pillaging and stealing. It's actually really fun." Saïx pulled up a bag from his side and dumped it onto the table. It opened up and items of all sorts spilled across the table. "I met the King of Thieves, too! I didn't know he was Aladdin's father."

Axel blinked, "He is?"

"Yeah. Ironic, right?"

"Yeah…weird."

Xemnas interrupted the small talk, "You stole for two weeks? That's it?"

"Not really. I fought Jafar with Aladdin out of boredom, but that's only because I had arrived right in the middle of the entire thing. The Cave of Wonders collapsed on Aladdin and me. I was going to offer to help him, but then he conjured a Genie."

"Oh cool, did you get to ask for any wishes?" Demyx questioned as he leaned forward with fascination.

"No, Aladdin was the master of the lamp, I wasn't."

Xigbar smirked, "Would have been cool if you got your hands on that sucker! What would you wish for if you did?"

Saïx thought it over and shrugged, "I don't know. A bottle of shampoo that never goes empty?"

Xaldin gave one loud laugh and that was it, making Xigbar and Axel snort and giggle. It was so random to hear Xaldin laugh at the dumbest things.

"Aside from going on an adventure…what else did you do?" Xemnas interrupted the fun one more time.

"I tanned."

"….Aside from that?"

"And trained."

Xemnas was now curious about the conversation. Training from Saïx could mean some type of productivity, right? "Oh, how often?"

"Everyday. There isn't a whole lot to do there. Besides, you have to be strong to fight Jafar, the all powerful Genie…"

"He turns into a Genie?" Vexen asked quizzically, pulling out his notepad to take notes on the matter. He didn't know ordinary people could become genies so easily.

"Yeah, he got a hold of the lamp and turned himself into one, and then when we thought we had it covered he ended up getting loose and trying to destroy us all. It was wonderful."

Xemnas spoke up, "So how was using your power? I'm sure you didn't only fight at night…"

"Oh no, we fought mostly during the day."

"So you went without Berserk?"

"Not entirely. During training I didn't use it, I just absorbed the moon's power as much as I could. Then during the day when we were fighting I'd use it in intervals."

"Intervals? How? Normally as soon as you use it you waste the whole thing," Vexen remarked, which was what Xemnas was thinking.

_Man, no one has confidence in me, do they? Not that I expected them to, these guys can hardly trust themselves, why would they trust me?_

"I can control it much better than I used to."

Xemnas looked overjoyed on that statement, "Stupendous! The training must have helped you break into your power."

"Yeah, which is why I went to Agrabah. It has a day and a night, plus plenty of Heartless to destroy."

"How many did you kill?"

"I don't know…over a thousand?"

"Total?"

"Per day."

Marluxia shook his head, "I don't believe it."

Saïx glanced over at him, "Why not?"

"I don't think it's physically possible for you to continue fighting non-stop without exhausting yourself."

"I trained during the night…the moon is out…I can fight without getting tired."

"But a thousand? Don't you get bored mercilessly killing things? Even if it is training, that number seems rather high even for someone who has energy nonstop."

"There's 12 hours of night, it shouldn't be too hard to execute."

"You said you never used Berserk during training, that would mean you'd have to kill them all by using only your weapon!"

"Yeah, I know."

Marluxia glared, "If you're so much stronger, maybe you should show us your progress?"

Xemnas perked. He would definitely like to see how Saïx fought now, especially with his headcount on Heartless. "Indeed! A battle is absolutely necessary. I think all of us want to see how strong you've grown…and perhaps it'd motivate others to do the same?"

Saïx shrugged, "Sure, why not? Who should I fight?"

Zexion spoke up before even thinking, "Marluxia." He watched everyone's eyes fall on him. "Well, Marluxia was curious on the matter, and considering he is the newest member and doubting Saïx's abilities…perhaps it'd help show how far Saïx has grown from when he was a newcomer?"

"Ah, a comparison chart will be needed! This idea is brilliant," Vexen remarked.

"I believe Zexion is right in his choice. Putting him up against one of us wouldn't show as much growth as it would comparing him to what he used to be," Xaldin jumped on board.

Xigbar only nodded his head in agreement. Was it weird that all of them wanted to see Marluxia in terrible agony?

"Then let it be so," Xemnas made the final decision. The entire group went outside and noticed the gloom that hung above, ready to rain for another day. Kingdom Hearts was hiding behind some cloud cover, but it did shine down in small areas.

"Let's have a good, clean fight!" Xigbar roared and the battle started.

_Marluxia, the Graceful Assassin. I remember Zexion telling me that nickname one day, how it caused me to shudder just hearing those words. He would take down anyone if it meant him being on top, wouldn't it? But not for long. He believes Xemnas belongs by his side, maybe even underneath him! I won't have that. I've spent too long away from Xemnas and I'm going to show him what I really am…what I can really do when I focus._

"I hope you're ready," Marluxia hissed as his scythe came out as petals showered around him.

Saïx smirked at his words and felt his claymore form into his hands. His eyes went up to Kingdom Hearts and watched as the clouds uncovered its beauty, showering down upon him. "Give me power," he whispered softly. His eyes glowed, but he did not go into Berserk mode, he only mustered the rage and fought Marluxia with his weapon, avoiding the man's plants and flowers. Marluxia was good at disappearing and reappearing, using his speed against Saïx.

_Concentrate, Saïx. He may be quicker, but you are smarter. Hone in on his pattern._ Saïx blocked an attack and watched Marluxia disappear again. _There, he'll appear there! Strike!_ Saïx's impulse caused him to strike the ground and the rocks flew up. As Marluxia appeared he was hit with the flying debris and lost his balance. Saïx then let Berserk take over, and watched as he easily landed hits upon the pink-haired figure. Marluxia escaped the hits and disappeared once again. Saïx felt himself calm down and reabsorb the moonlight.

"You run away a lot," Saïx commented before blocking another attack, brushing petals off of his shoulders.

"Odd, those words coming from you. I seem to remember you were the one who ran away all the time. Or have you forgotten already?" Marluxia shot vines at Saïx and watched them grapple onto his legs. "Were you jealous that you weren't getting attention? That seems to be the only reason why you're sticking around here. You like it when everyone has their eyes on you."

Saïx smirked and went back into Berserk, destroying the plants with his power. He surprised Marluxia with his quick actions, landing a good hit on the lowly ranked member. "I'd hate for the spotlight to be on you, it goes to your head too much." He smashed his elbow hard into Marluxia's face and watched as blood spattered across his arm, knowing he had hit a sensitive spot. "Besides, you get attention by pulling down your pants and bending over. Don't you think that's a bit skanky?"

Marluxia glared as he wiped the blood away and swiped his scythe at Saïx's head, though the Diviner ducked before it hit him. "You're jealous that Xemnas wants me more than you. It eats you up inside, doesn't it? That I, the newest member, can satisfy Xemnas better than you! He was only using you because he wanted your power, not your body."

Saïx laughed and watched their weapons strike together, sparks flying off at the contact, "And what makes you believe he isn't using you, Princess? He wants your power, too. And he knows that toying around with your idea and pretending to be on your side is how he'll gain your trust. Isn't it great feeling used? But the best part is…you don't even know it."

Marluxia snarled and tried to strike him, recklessly fighting as he got angered, "I'm different than you!"

"No you're not. You're exactly like me…and that's what makes this so funny. You keep denying it, which makes you blind to the truth. He's not interested in you, Marluxia, he just wants your trust and power. He's willing to give you sex if that's all it takes to make you beg at his knees."

Marluxia felt the claymore strike him hard and he fell to the ground, scythe falling out of his reach. His eyes widened at this. Had be been defeated? No, he wouldn't let that happen.

_About time this fight was over. He gets boring to fight after awhile. I feel like I'm dancing more than fighting._ Saïx's weapon disappeared and he began to walk over to Marluxia. "That was a nice battle."

Marluxia formed a thorny vine and lashed it hard at Saïx, watching it strike Saïx across the face. Quickly Marluxia got up and let his scythe return to his grasp, "It's not over."

_Oh fuck, that hurt! I think he cut my eye open!_ Saïx glared over at him, "If that's how you want to play…fine." He rose up and felt Berserker mode take full affect, "Then let's see how you really fair against me."

His speed and power devastated Marluxia, and without even reaching his peak he had defeated the man to the point Marluxia could hardly get up. "We're done."

Marluxia spit blood onto the ground and wiped at his bloody mouth, glaring over at the figure, "The battle has just started."

Xemnas hadn't heard any of their remarks to each other, they were too quiet to be heard and their battle was too enticing to listen to their conversation. Finally he walked up and smiled, "That was a stupendous battle! Axel, help Marluxia to his room. He'll need some help with those wounds. And Saïx…indeed, you've improved rather well."

Saïx stretched and began to move for inside. Xemnas grabbed onto his arm, the contact made each other stare wondering what the other was doing. "Yes, Superior?"

Xemnas hesitated. What was he doing again? He shouldn't be acting this way, yet…he couldn't exactly stop himself. "Where are you going?"

"Inside, Superior."

"Well…no need for that. I wanted to talk to you."

"Out here?"

"Outside, yes, in this exact spot…no. Follow me."

Saïx watched the group disperse, Marluxia's glare burning right into him. _Like I said, Xemnas was just using him…the way he used me._ Together they reached the city and the clouds had moved on, the gloom of the night had disappeared. They were silent as they walked, but Saïx could tell Xemnas was rather pleased with the entire performance. "Something on your mind, Superior?"

Xemnas glanced at him, "Why are you calling me that?"

"It's your title."

"Well…you don't have to use it when we're alone."

"If that's how you want it…"

Xemnas stopped and faced Saïx now, his orange eyes resting on Saïx's scarred face, "You've changed. Where's the snarky comments or the lewd remarks? I'm not used to you being respectful."

"I'm only 'snarky' when I like something," Saïx replied before returning to walking. _I hope that hits him hard._

Xemnas felt something odd, but knew it was only his mind trying to comprehend his words. He started to follow again and fell into step beside the Luna Diviner, "You've lost interest over the last two weeks?"

"Well, I thought about what you said to me. It took awhile to sink in, but you're right. It's only my mind making things up, I'm not feeling anything at all. So why worry over it? After awhile of being alone in Agrabah, it all started to make more sense. I guess the jealousy was nothing but thought. I can't love, nor can I hate. So why act it?"

Xemnas shook his head, "No, that's not what I meant—"

"I should be more focused on our goals. Once Kingdom Hearts grants us our hearts we can move on from this place and depart our separate ways. We are only together to get them back, that's all. It has no relation toward couples or feelings. We have the same objective, and with that objective we need to help each other reach it. I'm sure the life beyond this one will be more suitable than now."

Xemnas stopped walking and looked away. What did he do to Saïx? The man was…talking the way he had wanted him to talk in the beginning. But now…it wasn't what he wanted. "Saïx…"

"Yes?"

"The actions I took to gain your trust, to get you on my side were wrong, and I fully regret that. But the way you're talking now, the way that you're acting…it's not what I wanted from you. I shouldn't have hurt you the way I did…I apologize."

Saïx blinked, "Hurt me?"

"Being with Marluxia over you. This entire fiasco has turned upside down. I didn't know what I was doing to you, nor did I know what I was doing thinking sleeping with you or Marluxia would help my situation…I suppose it's because I don't have any memories on how to act in such situations."

Saïx turned to face him, "So now what? Are you giving up on Marluxia?"

"Yes, and it's because I know I don't love him. I will never love him, whether I have a heart or not. But…you…"

Saïx laughed now, "You think asking me to come back now is going to go so smoothly? Don't hold your breath Xemnas! If I had returned and sat down and said I did nothing you'd still be fucking Marluxia right now, but that's not what happened. You saw my power, you saw what I could do and you're thinking 'oh, how useful he is! If he can only work harder for me, if I can get his trust again I will have my heart back soon!' Ha. I think not. If you cared in the least, or even THOUGHT that you cared, it wouldn't happen like this. You wouldn't dismiss everyone and push me out here in the cities to talk, you wouldn't cover it up and pretend that affection is such a terrible thing and the others shouldn't see. If you want me back…you're going to have to do it in front of everyone." Saïx smirked, "But I doubt you'd do anything like that, no matter how much you crave my power. I'm done killing Heartless, you'll have to have the others do the dirty work for you."

Xemnas almost felt like he was shot. He knew that Saïx wasn't stupid, and yes the main reason he was trying to get back with him was because of the man's power… But he still felt like there was a connection between him. Marluxia did give him pleasure in bed, but there was nothing beyond that. No talking, no joking or enjoying each other's presence. They just had sex and that was it. With Saïx it was much more… "They'll think I'm playing favorites, Saïx…I can't destroy the Organization—"

"Then when your heart returns you'll feel how broken it is. I don't think the Organization revolves around your sex life, Xemnas. As long as you're a good leader and you know when you should fool around and when you need to focus on other matters I think they'll let you do as you please. If we're all going for the same goals why would anything else matter?"

Xemnas thought it over and wondered what else he should say. Saïx was right…but…out right declaring he wanted Saïx before an entire group of people would be nerve-racking. Especially if Saïx might decline the advance…and that would be embarrassing in front of an entire group of men.

Before he could say anything they both heard and felt a portal forming, and together they watched as lightning struck down and created one before them. Forgetting their current issue they went over and Xemnas noticed it was an opening for a new member.

"But…" he mumbled before watching as a blonde figure immerged, the lightning striking once more near them before disappearing completely, the portal closing. The girl fell into Saïx's arms gently.

"A girl?" They both stated before letting their eyes meet.

"Let's…get her inside…" Xemnas mumbled and Saïx followed. He'd have to deal with his feelings about Saïx later…

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Hmm, will Xemnas and Saïx get back together? Who knows! Until next time! And yes, another chapter will be coming soon.

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

This is the FINAL chapter! I hope you enjoy it!

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_How many years have I been alive? Around…20ish? Something close to that? Couldn't be too old. Of all my years that I've existed, how many breasts have I see that I could actually reach out and touch?_

_None._

_And here I am, staring at a blonde girl that's unconscious thinking 'maybe this is God telling me to go ahead and do something to her?' I know rape is wrong, but in an afterlife, how many afterlife police are wandering the worlds making sure we're not doing anything too rowdy?_

_Exactly. I rest my point._

_Then again, would I really rape a WOMAN?_

Saïx and Xemnas stood in room number XII with the blonde figure resting on the bed. They were staring at her in complete silence for the past five minutes, each collecting very odd thoughts about the girl in front of them.

_If I were Xemnas in this situation, what would I do? Oh yes, undress her like the pervert I am and touch her delicate body to the point I've probably ruined her only innocence she might have, then slowly dress her in tight leather and watch her through the rest of the night. Hmm. That'd seem almost…fun to do. But the more I really think about it…the more I start to wonder if I'd even want to go through with it. Fun for one try? Yes. Going from gay to straight? No._

"Should we strip her?" Saïx questioned the Superior, breaking from his devious thoughts.

Xemnas was staring at her curves and nodded before shaking his head. "No no, we'll um…let her rest…and shower and do as she pleases tomorrow."

"You mean we're not going to give her a bath?"

"Of course not."

"Wait, so Marluxia gets a hand job by Zexion and you're making her do it by herself?"

Xemnas glared, "Well it isn't like you wanted to touch a woman in the first place."

Saïx shrugged, "Everything is worth a try."

Xemnas rolled his eyes. Saïx was something else…something he wished he could have right now. And the man was suggesting they bathe this poor, defenseless woman. "I highly doubt she'd like it if she woke up and found out a man somewhere within this group had undressed her while she was asleep."

"There aren't any court systems in the afterlife to condemn us for touching her body, so—"

"She doesn't look like she's that old, I think it's best we don't mess with these things—"

"You have to admit you want to fondle her breasts—"

Xemnas gave a shocked expression, "No, I don't."

Saïx made eye contact with him and smirked. It was nice causing him such agony. If only he wasn't fighting against him…he shouldn't do anything with the man until he outright said he loved him in front of the Organization. Oh boy, now they got to add this chick to the whole boat. "What's her name?"

Xemnas glanced back at her, "Larxene."

"Well…why don't we bathe her together? It'll be a nice check and balance, won't it?"

Xemnas thought this over before crossing his arms over his chest, "Why don't we just bathe together?"

_Oooh, he would say that. It's so tempting…but how do I know that he won't just bounce back to that flowery whore once he has his fill of me?_

"Only if the bath tub is in a place where everyone can watch us fuck around."

Xemnas didn't know of a place like that…but then he wondered if the fountain outside could be used as such? Maybe that would be pushing it a bit too far?

"What…if I held hands with you and walked you around the building?"

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Are you serious?"

Xemnas shrugged, "I'm not good at this."

Saïx laughed, "So I've noticed. Maybe if we were in kindergarten I'd agree." He moved for the door, "You're right. Let's let her sleep, no point in bothering the poor thing." He slipped out the door. _Oh god, I'd so hold his hand any day. Why did I shoot down that option? Then again, who is going to even see us do something like that?_

Xemnas watched him get away. He knew nothing about relationships….

He smirked, but he knew someone that did! He moved in the opposite direction of Saïx and soon found Xigbar lounging on the ceiling of his room. "Xigbar, I have something important to ask you."

Xigbar looked down and jumped off the ceiling, landing nicely in front of the Superior, "What is it?"

Xemnas froze up. Should he really discuss this with Xigbar? It was his only option, the man was his trusted apprentice! "If you had to declare love to someone…in front of a crowd…what would you do?" Okay. Now for his reaction.

Xigbar was confused. Did Xemnas just ask him that? Was this some type of a trick question? "Um…I wouldn't, because I can't feel love!" Yeah!

"No no, I'm serious. What would you do…"

Wait. That wasn't the answer? Now Xigbar was worrying…what if Xemnas was testing him on his moves or something? If he said the wrong thing…would it replace him from his second in command spot? Oh no! "Uhh…I...um."

Xemnas frowned, "Xigbar?"

"I'm confused."

"I just wanted to know. I mean, not that I'm doing anything like that…I just…was curious."

It finally clicked that Xemnas WAS stuck in this situation. Ah, it made sense! He smirked, "Oh! Okay, yeah I get it now. You know what I'd do? I'd grab them like this!" Xigbar pulled the Superior close, "Bend them down like this!" He tilted the Superior and saw how terrified he looked. "And say 'pucker up, sister' and land one on her like—"

"OKAY! I get it.." Xemnas struggled and got out of his grasp, "Thanks…" for nothing. Xemnas got out of the room and Xigbar cackled happily to himself.

"And that's why I'm number II. I can make that guy blush like the dickens!"

Xemnas had to get a different answer. That would be way too…unlike him. He opened up Zexion's door and saw the boy was reading. "Zexion…I have an important question to ask you."

Zexion set the book down, "Yes, Superior?"

Here we go again. "If…you had to…declare love to someone…in front of a group…what would you do?"

Zexion hesitated in questioning it, "Why?"

"I'm curious to hear your answer."

Zexion started to think hard on it. So…someone that he loved and he had to say it in front of a group? What WOULD he do? He wasn't much for being outgoing, he'd be subtle and nice about it. But what if the Superior was testing him on his personality? If he was too shy would that count against him? The Superior always did make him do more chores than the others…

"Well…I'd…just….shout that I love them."

Xemnas almost smacked his head. "That's…it?"

Zexion started to get red, "I don't know I've never been in that type of a situation. To tell the truth I'd just sit there and stare at them and then look away if they ever saw me. I'd never say it before a group."

Xemnas sighed. Why did he go to Zexion again? "I see…well. Thank you for your input."

"I don't understand….why you're curious about this…"

Xemnas glanced at him and shook his head, "It's nothing." He left and decided it wasn't worth asking anyone else. They'd all have terrible answers too. Vexen would say throwing chemicals on them would be wonderful, Luxord would do a dumb magic trick, and Lexaeus would throw a rock at the person that says 'marry me' on it.

While Xemnas was brooding in his room, Saïx went to Vexen.

"What's the matter?" Vexen hissed as he lifted up his goggles to get a better look at Saïx.

"I was curious about something. Do you know how to make a plant killer?"

Vexen hesitated and stared at him, "You disappear for weeks, beat Marluxia in a battle of strength, and now you want to kill the plants around here? Did Xemnas promote you from worthless pup to gardener?"

"No….I wanted the stuff for something else."

"You want to use a plant killer to kill other things besides plants?" Vexen hesitated than frowned, "You're talking about Marluxia, aren't you."

"Perhaps?"

"You can't kill the man, Xemnas would bitchslap all of us—and yes I said bitchslap."

"Uh, correction, Xemnas wouldn't care."

"But those two have been making noises for the longest time…"

Saïx frowned, "Making noises?"

"Oh please, if you're in the kitchen and Xemnas's room is right above it you can hear EVERYTHING going on in there."

_Those whores…_ "Well. Let's just say Xemnas is no longer interested in Marluxia."

"Oh, he's back to you?"

"Not necessarily. He wants me but I'll make him work for it."

Vexen sighed, "I don't understand this. We're here to get hearts and Xemnas just wants sex."

Saïx smiled proudly, "I taught him that trick."

"Oh boy."

"Don't worry, once Marluxia is out of his hair I'll make sure he pays more attention to the Organization than how many times he can do it in a week."

Vexen thought this over and raised an eyebrow, "You mean it?"

"Absolutely."

Vexen lowered his goggles, "Then let's make some weed killer, my friend!"

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A week had gone by and things seemed pretty tense. The weed killer was taking a long time to perfect, considering they had to gather ridiculous items from places like Atlantica to use in the terrible concoction. Thankfully it was finally settling downstairs, cooling so they could use it in a spray bottle.

At the moment they sat at the kitchen table eating dinner, no one speaking. Xemnas had tried to say something to Saïx every time they were at a meeting, but it wouldn't come out right. He ended up asking Saïx if his hair was nice, which was the dumbest thing he could have ever said. Ever. No one had commented on it, though, and Saïx just nodded and complimented the Superior on his hair.

That was that.

He sat there now hardly eating as he wondered how he was going to bring up the subject. There had to be a way to…to just…

"You guys are really boring," Larxene mumbled as she played with her peas, "I thought this Organization would have someone attractive to hit on…but my god. You might have looks, but your personalities are killing me."

Axel smirked at her, "Hey, I'm hot maybe you should—"

Saïx covered Axel's mouth, "When she said 'hot guys' that automatically cancelled you out."

Axel pouted and tried to defend himself, but couldn't be heard.

"This isn't a dating service, Larxene, it's a group organized to gather our hearts back." Xaldin was the least bit enthused with their newest member. She was such a bitch at times…No no, she was always one. And it wasn't like she had to TRY or anything, it just came naturally for her.

Larxene rolled her eyes, "I know, I know…but you could at least TRY to do something...I don't know…less normal and more seductive? Like when Xemnas asked Saïx how nice his hair was, that was exciting! Saïx could have used a bit more oomph to his words, but I think there was some potential…"

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "You think I should compliment our Superior more often?"

"I don't see why not, he's pretty handsome. He shouldn't have to ask you, either."

Xemnas frowned, "I was…feeling off that day."

"You mean turned on," Axel remarked and Demyx gave a childish giggle.

Xemnas stared at Axel. He wanted to punch him in the head. "We don't need such degrading thoughts brought up at the table, Axel."

Larxene shrugged, "Were you turned on?"

Oh god. Some GIRL was asking him these questions. "That would require emotions…"

"Not necessarily, I mean, if you gave yourself a handjob—" Axel started and Lexaeus growled, the silence falling back over them.

Saïx gently put his fork down and looked over at Xemnas, "Superior, your hair looks nice today."

Xemnas wanted to scream 'I love you' just to get it over with but had kept it down. He needed to find a good strategy on approaching him with everyone here… "Why…thank you, Saïx."

Xigbar noticed the pause, "So…we should play a dirty game."

Larxene jumped up, "Ooh, what about spin the bottle?"

Xemnas shook his head, "I think that's a bit..a bit…" Wait. Why was he saying no? Ehh…too many mouths to kiss in this possibility.

"Count me out!" Vexen rose, "I have important things to check on," he hissed and smiled at Saïx before going off.

Marluxia glared at the small connection but flicked his hair, "Hmm, maybe we should? I think it'd be a great experience."

Xaldin and Lexaeus rose, walking out without a word. They noticed Xemnas hadn't moved from his spot, which they found rather odd…

"I'll play if Zexion plays!" Demyx screeched and sat down next to Zexion.

Zexion gapped, "W-what?"

Axel smirked, "Come on, Zexion, it'll be fun! You just spin a bottle and you kiss people."

Zexion blushed, "That's kind of vulgar."

"You can't feel vulgar!"

"I wasn't putting that in the sense of feelings, I meant more of a description," Zexion started to explain, but was cut off by Larxene.

"Sweet! Look at all of these boys I could kiss!"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, "I've never played such a game."

Luxord smirked, "All you do, Superior, is spin the bottle. Let's say…" he put down the ketchup bottle and spun it, "It's spinning…and it lands on," he stopped it at Zexion, "Zexion. You give him a kiss. Then Zexion gets to spin the bottle and he kisses whoever it points at."

Xemnas looked at the group of idiots and frowned, "That…does seem a bit vulgar."

Demyx leaned on the table, "Why, did you only want to kiss one person instead of everyone?"

"Not necessarily. I just don't know whether I should jeopardize my role as Superior to go about and kiss people."

Xigbar slapped Xemnas's back, "You won't! None of us care if you kiss people."

Xemnas sighed, "I suppose."

Xigbar grabbed the bottle, "I get first dibs, just so the Superior understands what's going on." He whipped it and it spun rapidly, slowly winding down. Xigbar had his fingers crossed for Larxene, but he watched it past her in its final moments and land on Luxord. Zexion snorted slightly and Demyx giggled while Luxord gave the greatest expression ever.

"Well fuck, mate."

Xigbar looked under the table to make sure it wasn't rigged before landing a quick one on the bearded gambler. He crossed his arms grumpily, "So wasn't what I had planned."

Xemnas stared at Xigbar, "And this won't ruin my reputation? You seem hardly enthused. I don't see the point in playing if it's going to result in--"

Xigbar shrugged, "Depends on who you kiss, Xemnas. Maybe you can sit out for a full round and watch?"

Xemnas frowned but sighed, "I'll supervise, how does that sound?"

Larxene shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat, Superior."

Luxord grabbed the bottle and spun it, "Get ready."

They watched it spin once again, slowing as it pointed at the members of the circle. It came to a stop at Larxene and she gave a happy smirk, "Oh, how wonderful!" She leaned over and kissed Luxord softly. "My turn!"

Luxord smirked, "That kiss was more satisfactory than the last one I had."

Xigbar snorted, "You probably cheated."

Larxene shook her head, "Boys." She let it twirl about and it landed on Xemnas. "Oooh, I bet this'll be good." She went over and without hesitation she kissed Xemnas on the lips. He would have remarked 'uh, I'm not playing' but she had greedily stolen the kiss before he could do much else. Oh well?

"I'll spin for the Superior," Saïx suggested and grabbed the bottle, letting it spin.

Xaldin and the few others that didn't want to participate were watching outside the kitchen. It was funny seeing Larxene kiss Xemnas and not getting a reaction out of him.

"Heh heh heh," Xaldin chuckled and he let his wind powers go to work.

The bottle began to slow down and it seemed to get….almost forced to take one more round before sliding to a halt on Xemnas again.

The two men stared at each other. That was not only magical, but…made things rather hard…

Marluxia seethed with anger as it landed on Xemnas. Who the hell… he looked at the doorway and saw the group. How dare they…

Saïx leaned his elbows against the table, "Well, that's interesting."

Xemnas frowned, "Um….that reminds me, I have to go do something." Ugh, fail. He totally just avoided the situation.

Larxene pointed a finger at him, "XEMNAS! That's cheating! Let Saïx smooch you."

"Cheating? I can't help it that I'm…busy." Xemnas remarked. He was losing this battle. It was looking like he was avoiding kissing Saïx just because he was freaked out or something.

"Busy with what?" Marluxia questioned, now seeing how it was going.

"Uh…well…things. You don't need to know about them."

Xaldin jabbed an elbow into Lexaeus, "He's cracking under pressure, should we help him?"

Lexaeus shook his head, "Oh no. That wouldn't be any fun."

Xaldin smirked, "So true."

Xemnas stood up, "Maybe you can kiss me later. I mean. Not. No. I meant…uh…I'll make it up to you later….that relates less to kissing and…such…" Xemnas opened a portal and went through it. He came into his room and waved his hand for the portal to disappear. GOD. What was he doing?? Stupid stupid STUPID.

Saïx sat there and smirked, "I've never seen him that flustered before." _All because he's afraid to kiss me and show some love. Aha. His squirming behavior turns me on. Too bad he didn't just suck up and kiss me, it would have been pretty wonderful afterwards. I'd fuck him until he couldn't walk._

"That was hot." Larxene nodded at her words, "Seriously. He asks you about his hair, but he's afraid of being kissed by you. That's so freaking delicious." She smirked, "I'm starting to like this Superior guy more and more."

"You like him because he's vulnerable?" Zexion questioned rather confused.

"Yeah! It makes things more interesting for future meetings with him!" Larxene hollered and stood up, "Well this was fun and all, but I've got 'better' things to do. As in, paint my nails. I'll see you pathetic and sickly boys later!" She waved and moved off happily.

"I think she only wanted to kiss Xemnas," Marluxia mumbled, still jealous about the whole thing.

"At least I get to kiss him later on, eh?" Saïx replied.

"I like how he said 'you can kiss me later' so naturally and then realized what he was saying." Luxord shuffled his cards before smiling, "Who wants to play strip poker now?"

Saïx smirked, "Oh….we should make it more exciting than JUST strip poker."

"Loser has to go to Xemnas's room completely naked!" Xigbar announced.

"Saïx better lose," Zexion growled as the cards were passed out.

Of course, Saïx did lose. It wasn't because he was trying, it was because he was sitting in chair number 7, and he got a hand full of 7's. Four, to be exact. So what did he do? He put them in the dump pile and asked for four more. He was that insane.

"Show your hands, boys," Luxord remarked, his cloak and shirt gone. Demyx was the only one who was still wearing clothes. Xigbar was down to a beater and his boxers, Axel only lost his cloak, and Zexion was wearing his pants.

And what of Saïx?

_Of course, I have the lucky draw of being down to nothing in clothes and I have the shittiest hand ever seen. I didn't even try to get this naked!_

Saïx put his hand down and glanced at the others. Wow. He really did suck.

"Aha! Look who lost!" Xigbar retorted and gave Saïx a slap on the arm.

"Aha…very…funny," Saïx sighed, standing up as he was ready to drop his boxers for them all.

"Whoa whoa! Wait. That all is for Xemnas, Saïx, not us." Luxord rose and smirked, "We'd hate to steal his glory."

Axel rose up, too, and started to laugh viciously, "I have an idea…."

"Oh boy," Saïx grumbled. Now what could they want to do to him?

"What if…we did some…calendar shots of Saïx? Leave them in a nice envelope for Xemnas to look at. I bet he'd enjoy seeing Saïx's glistening hot body in the moonlight giving him provocative looks."

Zexion almost died at the suggestion. That was SO wrong. "I can't believe your mind."

"I know," Xigbar said with a disgusted face before it turned into a big grin, "He's like a fucking genius! We have to do it, guys. It'll be awesome."

Saïx crossed his arms over his chest, "Uh…I don't know…I really don't want to pose nude for some really terrible shots of me."

Luxord shook his head and smirked, "I happen to be really good with digital art, babe, I can make you look like a model born for this type of crap."

Saïx watched the group edge him on it, besides Zexion who looked embarrassed as hell. _Wellll, it couldn't be that bad, could it? And maybe it'll prompt Xemnas to declare love to me quicker? Ha. It's worth the risk!_ "Sure, why not? But I need a few drinks before I do anything like this…"

Zexion nodded, "I think we all need to drink before we do this."

Demyx smirked, "Sweet! I'll make something special for all of you guys! I know how to make a good scotch n' whiskey mix!"

As Demyx bounced off the group frowned. And…how did Demyx know…? Oh no. They weren't going to bother questioning it.

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_What's creepier? Axel being the only person who can keep me warm because he has fire powers, or the fact that Xigbar is rubbing lotion on me?_

_Aaand now Demyx is helping._

_I feel either extremely excited or extremely violated, but right now I can't tell which._

"Uh. Give me another shot, Zexion, I'm still having conscious thoughts."

Zexion handed him another drink and Saïx washed it down.

_GUUUUHHH Oooorggh, that tastes TERRIBLE._

"Okay, let's see if that worked." He handed the empty glass to Zexion and stared at himself, "I'm gleaming, this is weird."

"The magic of Vaseline, dude," Xigbar remarked. "I think you're covered."

"Don't you feel kind of…gross since you just rubbed down Saïx's body?" Zexion asked.

"Nope. Don't have feelings, remember? Now are you ready, Luxord?"

Luxord brought out his camera, which actually looked really fancy, "I'm as ready as ready will be!"

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_I don't really remember what happened after awhile. I guess I got a few more drinks in me, did a few risky shots, even did a little bit of berserk, and posed with a cloaked figure who I'm still trying to figure out WHO it was. And now I'm lying in bed still naked trying to comprehend what all went on last night._

"Saïx?" Vexen entered into the room and glared at Saïx as the man was still in bed, "The weed killer is ready. If, of course, you're prepared to use it."

Saïx sat up and nodded, "Oh god yes." He stood up and Vexen gave the weirdest look ever. "What?"

"Saïx, your body parts are burning my pupils!"

Saïx grabbed his boxers and slipped them on, "Sorry."

Vexen grumbled underneath his breath, "Now if we do this correctly we can administer it onto his food and he'll fall deathly ill for a few weeks."

"Ooh, I like that idea!" Saïx brushed his hair quickly and moved for the door, "Can you go do that? I need to talk to Luxord."

Vexen frowned, "Might I ask why you must talk to Luxord?"

"We're setting up something nice for Xemnas. It's a surprise and all."

Vexen nodded, "Oh, I see. Something grandeur I suppose? A present perhaps?"

"Oh yeah, it's a good present. Think….pictures. Lots of them."

Vexen thought this over. That…wasn't a good present, was it? "What type of pictures? Of the Organization?"

"Wellll….yes and no?"

Vexen folded his arms over his chest, "Do tell or else the weed killer might go unused."

Saïx smirked, "Last night we got really drunk, and took a bunch of provocative pictures of me to give to Xemnas."

"Is THAT why you were naked? Heavens…"

"Ahaha, it'll be good, trust me." Saïx took a deep breath and calmed himself before slipping on the rest of his clothes, "Okay. Now I have to go. Don't tell anyone else of the little present, okay?"

Vexen watched Saïx leave and shook his head, "Why would I want to?"

Saïx entered Luxord's room and saw that Xigbar was already with him checking out the pictures. "Are any of them good?"

"Let's just say I can understand now why Xemnas likes banging you," Xigbar commented. He pointed at the picture on the screen, "Seriously. Look at yourself."

Saïx came closer and was surprised to see how…hot he looked. "Wow. Even my scars make me look sexy."

Luxord nodded, "No shit." He smirked and clicked a few things, "We've got it all set up. It looks cute and innocent when it first starts out so he'll think that you're giving him a stupid gift of just your face, and then SHABAM!" He smacked his hands together, "Naked, glistening Saïx."

"Wow. When should we give it to him?"

Xigbar smirked, "We'll drop it on his desk when he's out of his room, and then when he goes back in he'll wonder what it is. He'll open it up, and then he'll be hornier than fuck."

"Then you can surprise him and fuck him all night long," Luxord added.

Saïx laughed and the two boys turned to stare at him, wondering what was so funny.

"Sorry, I can't just do that quite yet."

Luxord raised an eyebrow, "And why not?"

"Because he needs to tell me he wants me in front of the entire Organization. It was a deal we struck. I want to make sure he's not going to fuck Marluxia anytime soon. Though…I think he'll be sick of Marluxia soon enough."

Xigbar shrugged, "I think once he sees this he'll wake everyone up and yell it."

"We can only hope, right?" Saïx remarked and stretched, "I'm going to go to the kitchen, I'll see you guys soon enough."

As he reached the kitchen he found that Marluxia was eating breakfast. Vexen glanced up and winked at him. _Ah, so our poison has been set. Now to see the reaction!_ Saïx sat down in Xemnas's chair comfortably as the man had yet to show. Marluxia continued to eat pretending they weren't there.

Munch munch munch.

Saïx stroked his hair gently and watched as more members began to enter, Zexion giving him a baffled and shy expression. _He's funny when he's blushing. That kid is scared of his own shadow it seems._ "Good morning."

"Weird seeing you awake at this hour," Xaldin remarked and sat down.

"Well, I've got a lot to do today."

"Such as?" Lexaeus questioned.

"Not sure yet. I'll figure it out. Maybe I should do some training? That sounds like fun."

Marluxia glared at him and would have remarked when a feeling of sickness washed over him. He rose and grabbed his plate, deciding he had enough breakfast for the day.

Saïx wondered if it was the weed killer….

And then everyone heard Marluxia lose his breakfast. Zexion stood up and covered his nose, tears almost rushing to his eyes. "Ugh!! I think I just lost my appetite!" The boy quickly left looking extremely green. _Ahaha, he's not even filled with the toxins and yet he's the one about to hurl thanks to Marluxia. That's great._

"That was weird," Larxene mumbled and heard a portal being made. She assumed it was Marluxia escaping the kitchen. "Oh well!" She grabbed up Zexion's plate and started to eat his food, "Ah, what a wonderful morning."

Saïx nodded, "Indeed." Oh god, he was starting to say it. "I mean, yes, of course."

"I think that chair is getting to you," Xaldin joked, catching the phrase he used as Xemnas's.

"His vocabulary rubs off on me from his chair? That's awesome."

Xemnas entered and frowned as his chair was filled, "Why are you sitting there?"

"I'm warming it up for you, Superior. I know how you hate cold seats in the morning."

"Oh. Um. Go make me coffee." He waved his hand at Saïx and watched as the member rose and went to do his duty. "Have I missed anything?"

Larxene shrugged, "Marluxia's sick and it upset Zexion's senses. Other than that, nope."

"Oh, how terribly dreadful for those two." Xemnas took his seat gently and watched as Saïx returned with the coffee. "Thank you."

"Of course, Superior. Your hair looks wonderful today."

Xemnas almost took a sip of the coffee but hesitated. Where did that come from? Oh yes. Last night they were joking about it. "Uh…thank you." He should say something besides that. "You…look different today." Ugh. Where was he going with that?

Saïx looked at himself. He did? Oh yeah! "I'm not wearing a shirt."

Xemnas nodded, "Oh. That must be it."

"Do you want me to go put one on?"

"Uh…no, you're fine."

Larxene nodded, "He IS fine."

Xemnas almost died. He didn't mean it like THAT. "I meant that in a….different sense."

Larxene giggled, "Of course."

The kitchen fell silent as they waited for their remaining members to return…

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"I think we can call it good, Xigbar," Luxord remarked as they neatly placed the package on Xemnas's desk with a note on it.

"I want to put a video camera in here…just to see his expressions."

Luxord smirked and held something up, "I can do that." He went over and distinctly placed it near the window, "Ahah. How's that? He won't even see it."

"Sweet, dude." They high fived and quickly left the room, arriving at breakfast. It was eerily silent.

"Hey." Xigbar sat down and frowned, "Something bad happen?"

"No," Xemnas replied, "We were curious as to where you were at."

Luxord smirked, "Just checking what the weather was like outside. Saïx said he wanted to train today, so I thought it'd be nice to go see how it was. Sorry it took so long."

Xemnas brightened as he heard that Saïx wanted to train, "Oh no, that's perfectly fine."

Saïx glanced over at Xigbar and gave him a curious look. The man returned his look with a giant grin and a wink, but of course he only had one eye…so it was just a really obvious blink. "How is the weather?"

"Not too bad. Might rain a little, but that's never stopped you, has it?" Luxord replied casually, eating up his food without acting suspicious. He was a pretty good actor.

Xemnas was building up some courage. Maybe he should say something NOW? "Saïx…" the group all looked at him. Oh crap, there goes his confidence. "That's….very …." He completely lost it. "Uh…" think of something quick, "Good that you're spending plenty of time building up your strength." Whooo, quick save. "Everyone should learn from you."

Saïx smiled. _He gets so close every time and he gets so bashful so quickly. It's kind of cute._ "Thank you, Superior. I appreciate your words." _Yeah, edge him on._

Xemnas nodded before stopping noticing he should say something back. "Yes. Yes indeed." Well….okay that kind of worked.

Larxene was holding in her girly laughter, but at last she started to giggle to death, "You two are entertaining."

Xemnas frowned and looked over at her, "Pardon?"

"Just how you two talk to each other. It's almost as if you're getting married and you JUST met each other."

A few other members snorted at the comparison while Zexion spoke up, "It's the morning, Larxene, it's hard to carry a conversation when we're all tired."

"Yeah, gotta cut Xemnas some slack. The guy HARDLY sleeps because he's so jacked up on coffee all the time!" Xigbar roughly shook Xemnas's shoulder and gave a cheery grin.

"Oh…well..yes. I didn't get much sleep last night. Sorry if I don't make complete sense."

Saïx smiled, "I was up late, too, but I guess the moonlight was what kept me awake."

Xemnas nodded, "Understandable…"

"Why were you up late, Superior? Something on your mind?" Saïx questioned. _Heck yes I'm imploring! I deserve to know everything that's on your mind!_

Xemnas blinked, "Uh…" He shrugged, "I'm not quite sure. Must have been what I was reading that captivated my mind for so long."

"I see." _Damn. He avoided it so easily._

Xigbar finished his breakfast, "Whenever you want to go outside, Saïx, I'll join ya! It'll be fun messing around for a few hours."

Saïx rose, "Then let's go. Should we report back to you, Superior, when we're done?"

Xemnas blinked. Report back to him? It…felt nice that someone wanted to fill him in on what they did. "Indeed."

Saïx smiled, "Then we will." The two left with that.

7777777

Saïx yawned, "Can we go bother him yet?"

"Not yet."

A few minutes passed.

"What about now?"

"Not YET."

Saïx rolled onto his stomach and played with a few pebbles, "I'm as bored as hell out here. We fought and that was that."

"Look, once a few more hours pass and he's in his room we'll confront him and then we'll leave and return back up here. I've got binoculars and everything to watch his every movement."

Saïx sat up, "You sound like a creeper."

"Hush, it's all in the name of science….and your love for this dodo bird."

Saïx laughed, "I can't believe you just called him a dodo bird."

"Well…you probably wouldn't call him anything better, now would you?"

Saïx shook his head, "Probably not." His eyes glanced up at Kingdom Hearts gently. He couldn't believe just last night he was posing nude toward that thing. _I'm a freak._

"Look! I see him!"

Saïx snapped his attention toward the figure entering in Xemnas's room. He grabbed the binoculars and looked. "Yeah, it's him all right. Now can we go in and bother him?"

"I wasn't expecting him to go in this early….but whatever works, right?"

Saïx nodded. They created a portal with ease and soon stepped out into Xemnas's room, catching the man off guard. "Oh, were you waiting for me?"

"No, we just finished, Superior," Saïx commented.

Xemnas took a seat and noticed the odd thing on his desk but decided to ignore it for the moment. "I see. Tell me how it went."

Xigbar smirked, "Saïx is getting much better! He was actually a challenge, if I dare say it aloud. The man's excelling past Zexion by a long shot, and I believe he's got more punch than Vexen could muster."

Xemnas brightened again, that look of utter excitement when he heard his dearest member was working out as he had planned. "Excellent! Saïx, I'm glad that you've pushed yourself to excel no matter how strange your powers were."

Saïx smiled, "Anything to please you, Superior."

Xemnas hesitated at those words before returning a soft smile, "Indeed. You two are dismissed. Get some rest if you need it."

Saïx laughed, "I'm on a strict moonlight diet. Maybe once morning comes I'll take a nap?"

Xemnas's smile grew, "If…it so pleases you, Saïx."

Xigbar nodded at them, "If that's all, Superior, we will be going." He caught a glance at the package and gave a funny look but didn't question what it was, only nodded for Saïx to follow him. Saïx stole a glance back at Xemnas and saw the man watching him, almost holding his breath as Saïx exited the room.

"If he's infatuated with you now, wait until he sees those pictures. Come on, let's get back to our spot."

They created a portal and pulled up the binoculars, staring at Xemnas's window as the man was still sitting in his chair. After a few minutes the man walked toward the window with the package.

"Oh god."

Xigbar cackled as the Superior sat down and began to open it delicately…

7777777

Xemnas hadn't understood why there was a package on his desk, but he was going to figure out what was inside it. The only thing it said was 'look at it under the moonlight.' He had wondered if Saïx had given him it, but the man hadn't spoke up when he was in there…so perhaps it wasn't?

He sat upon the window ledge gently and took the note off, putting it to the side as his fingers began to rip open the flap. Slowly he reached in and pulled out what seemed to be some type of a book…

"A calendar?"

He glanced about before returning his eyes to the cover. There was Kingdom Hearts on the front, peaceful and glowing softly. It was, in fact, the best photograph he had ever seen of the moon.

"Hmm…"

He opened the page and smirked as he saw Saïx. "How typical." The blue-haired man's eyes were glowing and he had…almost a slight smile to his face, as if wanting to tell him something. He gently flipped to February, seeing Saïx again. "Oh Saïx…" He noticed Saïx was pointing downward, his other hand pressing a finger against his lips. A secret on the next page, maybe? How entertaining. He grabbed the page carefully and flipped it, only to be astonished at the next pose of Saïx. He had his leg wrapped around a pole, giving the most…provocative stripper pose with his hair flinging back. The most surprising part? Saïx was NAKED. He couldn't see anything, but the fact that Saïx was…well…straddling a pole naked was just…wow.

"Wow."

He continued to stare at it for a minute before flipping to the next page, curious to see what else was on there. His eyes met a sunbathing Saïx, another provocative position that covered his lower half, though his piercing yellow eyes almost made Xemnas's skin crawl. He was…so handsome.

The next picture showed Saïx's more…gentle side. Kingdom Hearts was in the background, and the way Saïx was facing it almost seemed…majestic. Of course, he was almost naked, but that was only a bonus factor in this picture.

He continued onward, the positions of Saïx's gleaming body seemed more and more appealing to him, and soon he got to the pictures of him with…another person. They were covered from head to toe in the Organization gear, so Xemnas could hardly tell who it was. But Saïx's position with this person had…struck something in him. He could almost see the figure gliding his hand against Saïx's flesh, grappling onto his tender body, biting into his lips and pressing their hips together….

He went to the next picture, seeing Saïx relaxing upon a bed with the figure's head positioned….right in between Saïx's legs. If Xemnas didn't know any better, he would have believed he was getting a blow job. The look on Saïx's face was of pure pleasure, though. The pleasure that he wanted from Saïx. He thought hard upon this matter. Saïx had…given him pleasure, something only his body could feel, not his emotions. It was all because he couldn't feel emotions, much like Saïx and the others…but that didn't stop the body from reacting the same way…

He had never known…but Saïx had taught him that the body didn't need to feel in order to react…

He came to the last page, seeing Saïx's back facing him, those yellow eyes gleaming back, at him over his shoulder, the blue hair cascading against his shoulders and back. It was…everything he wanted.

There was a knock on the door and Xemnas tensed. He set the calendar down, grabbing up the envelope that had once concealed it. His grip was off, and it fell, pictures from inside spilled across his carpet, all of which were extremely risqué and of Saïx in positions he would rather see before him and not in just picture form.

Xemnas moved to the door, opening it up only a crack so as to avoid anyone seeing the mess inside, "What do you want?"

Zexion was standing there, "Sir, I was wondering if you've seen Saïx."

Oh, he had seen plenty of him. "No…he is probably in his room."

"Oh…well okay." Zexion turned to go back when Xemnas grabbed his arm.

"If you see him…once you're done talking to him that is…would you send him this way? It's very important."

"Uh…yes, Superior."

Xemnas closed the door and gave a small sigh of relief. At least he hadn't entered. He moved over and began to pick up the pictures and stare at them all. They were so…sensual…

"Damn you," he hissed. The pictures were put back into the envelope and he slid the calendar back inside. Carefully Xemnas made his way back to his desk and slipped it into his desk drawer for later…who knows when he'd be able to tell Saïx and the others what he really thought…

7777777

Zexion arrived outside, "Are you two spying on Xemnas?"

Saïx jumped slightly, "How did you find us?"

Zexion pointed at his nose, sighing, "I can smell you a mile away. What are you trying to do, see if he plays with himself and your photos?"

Xigbar nodded, "Doesn't it sound kinky?"

Zexion gave a repulsed look, "I don't see why you're in on any of this, Xigbar."

"Dude. Once Xemnas starts banging Saïx I'll be held in higher respects because Saïx is my bud, ain't that right?"

Saïx nodded, "Whoever pleases me will please Xemnas, I'm sure."

Zexion snorted and sat down, "Well, he's obviously ready to hand his body over to you, Saïx. He said after I was done bugging you that I should send you his way."

Xigbar smirked, "Sweet! Now remember what I told you, Saïx, and go in there and surprise him with those hips!"

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "Uh. Right. I don't know if I should just sleep with him just because he likes my body now more than ever."

"You can't really push him away, though," Zexion mumbled. "Imagine how he'll react if you avoid it. He's really clingy to things he likes…"

"I've noticed."

"Do you really have to wait until he declares love in front of everyone? Maybe having sex with him might…prompt him to do it?"

Saïx laughed, "Yeah right. The more I hit on him the more he tried to hide me. I need to turn him on so much that he says it and then takes me right there on the kitchen table."

Xigbar shrugged, "It could work if you keep up your sexual advances."

"That's why I'm waiting. He seems to base his attention purely on me and he doesn't even know what to say half of the time."

Zexion perked, "What if someone…heard you two having sex...someone who would blatantly say 'what were you two doing together last night? It sounded wonderful!' Maybe then he'd have to speak up?"

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "And who, might I ask, would outright say that without being the least bit embarrassed?"

There was silence between the three before all of them answered, "Larxene!" Xigbar laughed and slapped Zexion on the back, "Dude. You're right. She'll lay it out like it's casual that you two were fucking. Xemnas would have to either say yes or no, and if he says the wrong answer…"

"I could either say the opposite and embarrass him, or I could go along which would make him feel guilty."

Zexion sighed, "So evil…yet it seems like it should just work this way."

Saïx pointed at Xigbar, "You work on her, all right? I want her to hear every gasp and moan that comes from us."

Xigbar saluted, "You got it."

Zexion slapped his hand to his face, "I didn't need to hear THAT."

They rose and moved through their separate portals, Saïx soon arriving in Xemnas's room.

"Superior?"

Xemnas got up from his seat as Saïx entered, "Saïx. I…wanted to talk to you."

"Yes, that's why I'm here."

Xemnas hesitated. What to say? Maybe bring up the pictures? Would that be too…weird? "Was..it you that sent me those pictures?"

Saïx paused. Should he pretend he didn't know or did? "Would it matter who sent them? They're of me, and that's all that matters."

"Yes…I suppose you're…right." Xemnas paused again, "Are you…trying to say something?"

Saïx came closer, grabbing onto Xemnas, "I'm not sure…does it seem like I'm saying something?"

"I thought…you didn't want me to do anything…unless I spoke out first."

"I can wait to hear it…but right now that's not what my body is saying." Saïx gently kissed Xemnas on the lips, receiving a tender kiss back, "I crave for you to the point that...I can't stop thinking about you."

Xemnas nodded as he started to pull at Saïx's clothing, "I know the feeling. My body….hungers for yours…" His mouth dragged against Saïx's neck, kissing the freed flesh he had just released.

"Then why are we talking…?" Saïx whispered.

Their eyes met before their clothes were ripped from their bodies, hardly able to let go of each other to make it the bed. Their bodies combined as soon as they touched the comfortable bed. Saïx felt himself start to pant, not even knowing that he had been craving it this badly. But his breaths and his moans said otherwise. He felt his cries be muffled as Xemnas began to kiss him roughly, their tongues coming together much like their bodies had a few seconds ago. Saïx felt Xemnas's pleasurable growl go against his chest and felt it come onto his lips, the feeling arising a whole new sensation within him. He wanted more. And he wouldn't stop until he got everything.

7777777

Larxene was flipping through magazines in her room when Xigbar had rudely entered without even knocking on her door. She glanced up and gave him a slight disapproving look, but decided not to question his actions, only go back to reading up on scoring hot men.

"Larxene, babe, I uh…wanted you to hear something."

Larxene sighed, "Now what?"

Xigbar held out his hand, "Trust me on this one…it's kind of disturbing."

Larxene stared at the offered hand before grabbing it, slowly getting up from her spot. "This better be good."

"Oh, no doubt it is."

What did he mean by that? She briskly walked beside him, keeping her eyes on Xigbar as the man seemed almost…suspicious in his actions. "Where are we going?"

"Shh."

She glared. She didn't take well to being shushed. Though they arrived quickly at Xemnas's door and she finally understood why she was supposed to be quiet. He pointed for her to lean in to hear better, and Larxene did as she was told. She heard…dare she think it?

"Who is it?" She mouthed, voice hardly above a whisper.

Xigbar shrugged and got closer to her, "Xemnas is fucking someone."

They both put their ears to the door, hearing the gasps and cries. Larxene tried to figure out who it was, but…it just wasn't coming to her. Who sounded like that? Damn. She hated being new around here, it made things harder to figure out!

But it wasn't long for her questions to be answered. She heard rather clearly, "Fuck me harder," from someone.

Xigbar covered his mouth before looking at her, "Sounds like Saïx."

Larxene beamed at that, as if two boys screwing around was a fetish of hers. She got closer to listen some more, hearing the rapid breathing come faster. He MUST be doing it harder now. How intriguing. Did Xemnas and Saïx do this a lot?

She grabbed Xigbar's arm and waved for him to follow her. Together they entered Xigbar's room and the door was shut before she flailed her arms and tried to calm herself. At last she smirked, "Saïx and Xemnas? I should have known… The way they look at each other, the way they flirt without even knowing it! Does everyone know about this??"

Xigbar shrugged, "I'm rather surprised myself. Xemnas has never said anything about his sexuality before."

Larxene walked in a few small circles before smirking, "What if I brought it up to him?"

"He'd probably deny it…unless we had some evidence or something…"

That was when Luxord came in casually, "We do."

The two jumped at his sudden appearance and glared, but calmed as he explained.

"I planted a camera in there."

Larxene gapped, "And he didn't notice?"

"Nope, he was out of his room at the time. Besides…I'm a master of tricks, he wouldn't be able to see the camera since it's covered so well."

Xigbar nodded, acting dumb. It was a good thing Luxord didn't just burst out and give away what they were doing. He wanted Larxene to feed onto their lies, not be in on them. "Good, good. We should get it once they've calmed down."

Larxene frowned, "You want to walk in while they're sleeping and take it?"

Xigbar laughed, "You don't know the extent of my powers."

Larxene was about to ask when she felt something grab her butt. She whipped around and saw a hand…just a hand…floating in the air where her bottom had just been. It gave a slight wave before she whipped around and glared at Xigbar. "I'd punch you, but I'm more interested in seeing this alleged video you boys have."

"Don't worry, m'lady, you'll see it in due time," Luxord replied. He gave a gentlemanly bow to her before looking at Xigbar. Success!

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Downstairs Vexen was making himself a sandwich hearing the banging of the bed upstairs. He grumbled to himself as he could practically HEAR the moans of enjoyment escaping one of the two. He hoped it wasn't Xemnas, he'd never look at the man the same way ever again.

"You can keep an appetite while that's going on?" Xaldin asked curiously, watching the ceiling as if it would collapse with the colliding members above.

"Yes, I can, because I've seen and heard much worse. Ever been to Atlantica?" Vexen hissed. The member walked out with the sandwich on a plate, gingerly moving to stare at the ceiling for a bit, too.

"Well…you do have a point."

"Exactly. Besides, I can't wait to see how awkward they're going to act tomorrow morning. If no one brings it up, I sure as hell will!"

Xaldin put his arms behind his back, raising an eyebrow at the crazed man's words, "What exactly would you say?"

"Hmmm…something like 'Did anyone else feel the castle shaking all night? And that wretched gasping and moaning, too.' Pah. If they had half a brain they'd probably think the castle is haunted instead of Xemnas's hips getting a workout of their lifetime."

"And how do we know Xemnas is on top?" A voice rang out and made the two look about before spotting Axel leaning against the doorframe.

"Unless Saïx is going berserk up there, I don't think he has this much strength to make the world fall out of alignment and change its rotation."

Axel shrugged, "You never know. What if Xemnas lays there and watches Saïx take advantage of him?"

Xaldin shook his head, "I still think, no matter how little Xemnas participated, that Saïx would be the bitch in the relationship. He'd like having things jammed into him. He is the masochist, after all."

Vexen nodded, "Good point. I'm glad we analyzed this for future reference. Now next time Saïx says he has a headache I can tell him to stop ramming things into him so much."

Axel thought that over and a smirk grew across his face, "That's a nice reach."

"I'd hate to hear them getting sore throats from each other."

Xaldin continued to shake his head, "Bad images. I think we're done with this conversation."

Of course, it wasn't until the two lovebirds upstairs were done that they actually changed the subject.

"I think their batteries died."

"Pff, open a curtain, Saïx can finish up," Vexen mocked and walked off.

"What a grouch…and yet everything he said was really awesome. I didn't know Vexen was that witty," Axel mentioned as he looked up at Xaldin.

"He likes to keep silent, it helps him get away with more things. You could learn from him." Xaldin walked off to go to sleep, hoping that the ceiling wouldn't be in shambles by the time he woke up.

Axel snorted. "Silence? Whatever…"

7777777

Xigbar was almost asleep when an elbow slammed hard into him. He wheezed in pain and opened his eye to see Larxene there. "They're done. Now get the camera."

Xigbar stretched and yawned, "Fine. Keep your pants on." He paused. "No wait, take them off."

Larxene gave his shoulder a painful punch, "Just do your job!"

Xigbar ripped open the space time continuum and reached in.

His hand appeared in Xemnas's room near the window, walking about delicately before touching something. He grappled onto it curiously and found that it was definitely Luxord's camera. Xigbar pulled his hand out of the ripped space hole and smiled at the camera, "Success, dudes."

Larxene giggled, "Oooh! Show me, show me!"

"You're really excited about this, aren't you?"

"Hey, it's not everyday that a girl gets to see some hot guys doing it. Not unless she buys porn, but really…this should be a lot better than porn."

Luxord nodded, "Yeah. Less cheesy and without the dumb clichés and odd outfits."

Xigbar rewound it to the beginning and stopped the camera. He heard Xemnas and Saïx mumbling something before seeing them getting into bed. "And they're off! Xemnas taking the lead."

Luxord watched it, "Wow. I've never seen guys have sex before."

Larxene smirked at the camera, "Yeah? It's kind of entertaining the first ten or so minutes, especially if they make noises."

Xigbar snorted, "You're an odd gal."

She took the camera and pressed the fast forward button, "This looks more entertaining."

The three watched Saïx and Xemnas have sex in fast mode. It was, by far, the greatest thing all three of them had seen ever.

"Dear GOD look at those hips go!" Luxord commented.

"Whoa, Saïx has the top now."

They paused as it went on.

"Is THAT Berserker mode?" Larxene questioned.

"Uh…yeah…that's what it looks like in bed…" Luxord mumbled.

Xigbar shook his head, "I fought against that this morning."

"Aww, they're getting tired." Larxene giggled before watching it start up again. "And now for Round Two!"

"Oooh, the soft sensual sex, they're going slower this time around."

Xigbar shook his head, "Greatest. Porn. Ever."

At long last the tape ended and Larxene stopped it, "That's great! Now they CAN'T deny it!"

Luxord nodded, "Yeah. Are you really confronting them about it?"

"Hell yes, I'm not scared of Xemnas. He may look like the evil leader part of this Organization, but really…I think he's probably more scared of me than I am of him."

Xigbar rose from his spot, "She's got a point."

Luxord smirked, "Then it'll be a wonderful conversation for breakfast. I'll be sure everyone attends."

Larxene giggled, "Oh goodie!"

7777777

Xemnas woke up and felt extremely sore. Oh god. Why had he done that? He knew going too far would cause after-agony.

"Good morning, sunshine," Saïx whispered in his ear, pulling the man to sit up. Xemnas grumbled and stared as Saïx was wide awake. And since when did Saïx get up before he did? What a freak.

"Can't we…sleep a bit longer?"

"What's wrong, feeling sore?"

"Yes."

Saïx smirked, "Well you need to do it more often. Practice will make it hurt less."

Xemnas laughed and winced as even his abdomen was sore. "I think you got carried away when I let you be on top."

_A little bit carried away? I full out let myself go. I didn't want to hold back anything. He needs to see what I'm all about, and boy did I show him. Look at his expression. It's almost…cute how pained he looks._ "You should get used to B-I-B."

"B…I…B?"

"Berserking in bed."

Xemnas smirked and got up, stretching his sore muscles, "I suppose I should. Let's get something to eat, shall we?"

As they readied for the day, the others sat at the kitchen table awaiting for Saïx and Xemnas. They were the only members that were missing from the table. Even the sick Marluxia was sitting there waiting to see what all the hubbub was about.

"I hope they're not having morning sex," Larxene growled, ready to get it over with. She had been waiting too long.

"Is there an earthquake?" Vexen questioned.

She shook her head gently.

"Then no, they're not having morning sex."

The table snickered at his words when the doors opened up, Xemnas and Saïx entering in together. Larxene's devilish smile grew wide across her face. "Good morning, Superior!"

Xemnas smiled slightly, "Good morning."

"Where have you two been?"

"Oh…just going over a few things. Nothing important." Xemnas and Saïx took their respective seats. At first Larxene didn't edge on more, which made the others curious as to who should speak up next. But she caught her confidence once again.

"Xemnas, I'm really curious about something, and I think you'd be able to explain it all to me."

"Oh…well…go ahead and ask away."

She set her elbows on the table, using her hands to exaggerate what she was talking about. "Our bodies can still feel sensations, right? But we emotionally cannot. Correct?"

Xemnas nodded, "Indeed."

"Okay. I'm going to go for a…way to ask this without making it seem confusing. We can enjoy sex, right?"

"Well…the body could."

"Yeah. That's what I meant. So, hypothetically speaking, if you and Saïx had sex you'd both enjoy it, right?"

A really awkward silence fell over them. As if that was blatantly obvious enough. Xemnas began to think things over. Did she know something about them? Or was she just going for them because she thought it was funny that they hardly talked to each other? "Well…yes I suppose."

Larxene nodded, "And if Saïx went Berserk…you'd feel pain, right?"

"Yes…" What weird questions to ask at breakfast…

"But you could express pleasure even if you didn't feel it, like…moaning?"

"Yes…"

"And both of you could continue on since Saïx could be fueled by the moon…"

"Indeed…"

"And you probably climaxed at some point, which is the body's reaction to the pleasurable sensation."

"I believe so…."

Saïx looked over at him. She just switched from 'hypothetically' to 'so you did' so easily, and Xemnas didn't catch it? The others perked up at the way she covered it up with an explanation.

"Saïx must have been in the same situation, right?" Larxene asked.

"Most likely…." Xemnas paused, "Wait, are we still talking hypothetically?"

Larxene shook her head, "No, I'm talking about last night."

"Um…what of last night?"

"I just told you. You two were having sex, and that's why I asked if the body could feel sensation."

Xemnas shook his head, "No, you asked and then you brought up last night."

"So you DID do something last night."

Xemnas hesitated. Oh god. What did he just get himself into? "That….was a slip-up."

Larxene cackled, "Was it? Then tell me, Xemnas, how do you know so much about bodily sensations when it comes to sex?"

Xemnas fell silent. He didn't have a good answer for that one. "You don't have any evidence that I did anything with Saïx last night."

Larxene began to laugh maliciously…which sparked for Xemnas to just confess. She probably knew a lot more than what she was giving off, and that laughter frightened him. His eyes went over to Saïx. He…didn't think it'd end like this. It felt kind of…odd being on this end of the stick, having people stare at him for being out of line rather than him yelling at someone else. But…he'd have to say something, wouldn't he?

"All right….I'll admit it. We had sex last night."

The group was surprised at his confession. They were expecting him to find a way out of it…but instead he admitted defeat. Marluxia sighed at his words, wanting to curse Saïx for his actions and to smite Xemnas for rejecting him.

"Is this going to affect the Organization?" Lexaeus grumbled, still sunken about the entire ordeal.

Xemnas took a deep breath. This was a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. These people…were supposed to see him as a mysterious figure…not a whore. Yet it seemed Lexaeus disagreed with his actions…

"No, it will not. I won't let anything get in the way of the Organization, no matter what the temptations may be."

Demyx looked about and raised his hand slightly, "Uh…Superior…does this technically mean you're in love with Saïx? Because I mean….to have sex is to make love…so therefore you've already made love…which means that since you've made love, you'd express love…which is like being in love." _I think my brain just died thanks to Demyx. He should NOT know what sex is. Ever._

Xemnas thought it over and wasn't sure what to say. It was what Saïx was waiting for. To hear him say that he loved him. He felt his body start to tense, prepared to react at the words.

"No."

Saïx felt….that hit him.

"Making love and being in love are two completely different things. I don't have emotions, therefore I cannot be in love with him."

_That's his explanation? That stupid…worthless…good for nothing 'we don't have hearts' theory? Why can't he just admit it?? Why can't he say that he loves me and get over this stupid dilemma that we all face?!?_

"Aww, but I think we have hearts…you probably WOULD love him if you had emotions," Demyx replied to the Superior.

"If I had emotions….perhaps."

Saïx had to speak up, feeling the rage building up inside him, "We remember emotions. You're saying you don't even think about it, too?"

Xemnas shook his head, "I've never been in love before, I wouldn't know what that memory is like."

Saïx hesitated. That was true…he had told him that before. "What about affection towards others?"

Xemnas looked down, "I wouldn't know." A pause came between them, "I suppose when we get our hearts back….you'll have to show me what that's like."

Saïx felt the rage fall back and he lost his angered expression, letting it fall to a smirk, "I guess I'll have to, you're missing out."

Their eyes connected, a smile reaching across both of their faces. _Ahaha, we're having a cheesy moment! I love it!_

Vexen suddenly let out the weirdest noise ever, almost that of a turkey gobbling. "This is worse than poisoning Marluxia!! You two disgust me! Go have more sex and get the hell away from me, wwwhaagh, I HATE cheesy romantic moments!" The crazed fool rose and flailed his arms, "Go on! Get out of here! Don't make me spray weed killer to get you two out of here!"

The group was at first hesitant on Vexen's silly behavior when he pulled out the actual weed killer. Xemnas and Saïx both rose.

"Okay, we'll be going…no need to start splashing that everywhere." Saïx remarked as Xemnas opened a portal for them to go through. Marluxia, who had seen the weed killer, shuddered and ran off to get rid of what was left of his breakfast.

Xemnas let the portal disappear behind him and the two exited into a different world.

"Where are we?" Saïx questioned curiously. "Looks familiar."

"Beast's castle."

Saïx raised an eyebrow, "But Superior, we shouldn't be here."

Xemnas put his arm around Saïx's waist, pulling him toward him, "True, but I thought there was something much more important for you to see and understand." Xemnas led Saïx to a window, pushing it up so they could step out on the balcony. It overlooked the forest, the small town not too far off tucked under the tall trees. The thing that captivated Saïx's attention was the full moon.

"Wow….the moon…looks great."

Xemnas nodded, "Almost as great as you, but I suppose not everything can be perfect."

Saïx smirked at the words. _Wow, if I could be embarrassed I would be. The way he's showing affection now…it's different than ever before. And…I like it. No, I don't like it…I love it. With or without a heart, I know._ "Perfect, huh?"

"Indeed," Xemnas drawled out the word, mocking himself. It made both of them laugh at how the word had became an inside joke to the Organization. Xemnas gently pulled Saïx closer to him. "There's…more to it than just a nice moon. I wanted to inform you…that we have known each other for 27 weeks…"

"Has it really been that long?"

"Time flies when you're dead."

Saïx nodded, "I suppose…"

"Today is the 7th."

"Oh…"

"And in one minute it will be 7:07 here."

"Ah…uh…"

"But no matter how unlucky 7 may be to you…" Xemnas got closer, their lips only an inch away. "You…will always be my lucky number."

They kissed, one of those kisses that brimmed with passion and love. Even if they didn't have hearts to express such emotions, and even if Xemnas didn't know what love was like…it was happening. Saïx let the kiss continue, unknown to both of them that it lasted for an entire minute, going through 7:07, both pulling apart at 7:08. Saïx felt…different. As if, no matter how many sevens were to surround him right now…that they couldn't cause him any bad luck. Nothing could stop him from this experience he was having.

"You know, my lucky number has always been 1, did you know that?"

Xemnas smirked, "Has it? How intriguing."

"Yeah…the greatest things always come out on top."

"And I do like being on top."

Saïx laughed, "Oh I'm sure. I think you like both roles."

"Perhaps."

"I wonder what would happen if you were 7 and I was 1?"

Xemnas contemplated it. "Well, I suppose I would have had sex with you the day I arrived, considering how wonderful your hormones are, and because if the Superior were demanding it from me…who am I to refuse?"

Saïx shook his head, a giant grin on his face, "You know me too well."

"I guess that's what I get for being so nosy."

"Indeeeeed," Saïx remarked, both of them laughing at how dumb they were being.

Not too far off Xigbar sat next to Beast watching the entire incident. "Hey, bub, ain't ya peeved that we're here?"

Beast shook his head, "Saïx is a friend of mine."

"And he brings his boyfriend over to play hookie and smooch him up on your balcony."

Beast grumbled and shrugged, "I have other balconies to be on. Besides…they look happy together."

Xigbar nodded, "Yeah. Imagine that." They fell silent in each other's company before Xigbar sighed, "You going to rent out a room for them to sex it up or what?"

"I have my limits. Besides, those commotions are meant to happen at your place so you can hear them." Beast turned away, "I'm sure you'd appreciate it more."

Xigbar snorted, "Right, right. Where are you going?"

"While Xemnas and Saïx are flirting I think I should go talk to Belle, she needs the attention."

Xigbar grinned, "Aww, Beast is in love!"

"It must be contagious."

"Don't spread it to me, I don't need to get jiggy with anyone anytime soon. I want my heart back first, that is my full desire."

Beast chuckled, the growl wavering in laughter, "You'd be surprised at what can change your mind."

Xigbar continued to sit there thoughtfully before standing up. "Hey…wait a minute…" He wondered what he meant by that, but decided to go ahead and go back home. No sense in watching the lovebirds make out all night, right? Right.

_Through darkness which I've dwindled through, memories I've remembered and forgotten, lies I've built up and destroyed…I've come to one conclusion. None of it ever mattered past one thing. I am here with a group that I yearn to be with, and I am not only loyal to our goals in recovering our hearts, but I am loyal to one man who has led me to finally believe that it is possible. And when our hearts return with our work, I know that I can continue to live with him and finally feel the satisfaction of our true love. Until that day happens, though, I will just remember that I must work harder to make sure Xemnas and I share that future we've planned. Besides, what else am I supposed to do in this not-so-dead-yet-not-yet-living existence? Exactly._

_And after all of this time I think I've finally come to understand that…Seven…isn't my unlucky number. Though it has put me through hell and back, I finally know what seven has done for me. Pushed me to the limits only to feel the greater rewards in life._

_Thank god for seven, huh?_

The End

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That's the ending, hope you don't mind the cheesy lovey dovey ending! I normally KILL my characters…so this is a change from that. Besides, I'm sure there would have been a riot if I had killed anyone in here.

Anyway, hope you liked it! Please comment, and read any of my other stories! I'll be doing more soon!


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